How to Be a Mentsh (And Not a Shmuck): Secrets of the Good Life from the Most Unpopular People on Earth

by Michael Wex

Wise and hilarious, this is a book about happiness, your own and that of others. The principles outlined here will work for anyone, Jewish or not, who makes the effort to put them into practice.

Drawing on the “wisdom of the ages,” bestselling author Michael Wex shows readers how to figure out the right thing to do in any situation. First he describes the two words “mentsh” and “shmuck.” The former refers most often to an adult who has learned to think of others first; the latter refers to someone who thinks he or she is someone special.

In this book, you will learn how to keep yourself from believing you are someone special. You will learn how not to be a shmuck.

Genres: Jewish, Nonfiction, Judaica

224 pages, Hardcover

First published August 19, 2009

About the author

Michael Wex is a novelist, professor, translator (including the only Yiddish translation of The Threepenny Opera ), and performer (of stand-up and one person shows). He has been hailed as a Yiddish national treasure and is one of the leading lights in the current revival of Yiddish, lecturing widely on Yiddish and Jewish culture. He lives in Toronto.

Reviews

[Marfita · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm still not sure what makes Wex think he's a member of the Most Unpopular People on Earth. How does he judge Unpopularity? The number of people who don't like them? The number of people who are Unpopular? The depth of the Unpopularity? How is that quantitative?
Anyway, I did like his take on the "Do not unto others" rule as compared to the "Do unto others." What if someone wanted to help you out of your depression by showing up with Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits even though they knew you were a classic Jazz fan? But that's what cheered them up. They were doing unto you what they liked, what had worked for them. Then he extrapolates it to what if your neighbor or your government thought that Jesus was all you needed to cheer you up? He sure made their lives better! Of course, this argument doesn't work on people who love Barry Manilow or Jesus. You have to point out something else that they wouldn't like. What if your friend decided that your fixation on Jesus and your inability to live up to his model was what was bringing you down? What if she came over with some Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens books and cheerfully began to deconstruct your religion? Her life improved beyond all knowing when she realized she didn't have to worry about an afterlife and that getting the most out of the here and now was more important. Would you really want some Born-Again Secular Humanist with a wild hair up her bum showing up at your front door?
Jesus (and, gods know, Barry Manilow) are not vegetables to be pushed on children with unadventurous palates. Maybe you can just "be there" for your friend. Maybe they can find you a job if you need one, introduce you to some interesting people if you're lonely, ask you what you need or like if you're sick before bringing you a big basket of something that would send you into anaphylaxis.
The rest is just midrash. Feh!
I originally had trouble with the New Standardized Transcription of Yiddish Wex subscribes to, which is kosher these days, as opposed to the Leo Rosten Yiddish I was familiar with. Okay, I can see why it's nice to standardize and can understand wanting to separate the handful of Yiddish words from their German derivations - it just annoyed me.

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has lots of tips and ideal concepts on how to be a mentsh and not a smuck. The book uses phrases from the Talmud and the author translates them to humerus terms. The book shows how people have acted like shumcks and the author describes how people can change. In the final chapter the author describes how you can use what you've learned and transform the knowledge into a real life transformation if your already a shmuck.

I made a text-to-self connection in the book on how some people act rudely to other people and how they can stop. I sometimes acted rudely to other people. I read how people could change the way they thought about others and the world.

I give this book 5 stars because 1. of it's non related jewish humor. Also I thought that the way the author wrote the book could help turn a persons life around by taking small steps at a time. I also thought that the book could have had more jokes along the way and a little more dailouge. But other than that the book was really good.

[Jon-Erik · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not Wex's best work. While I like his style in general, I've read more than my share books that basically say that (the author's preferred interpretation of) Judaism explains it all. Just look at my library. Some of these achieve powerful deep insights about the human condition. This one is more like "get off my lawn."

I certainly agree with Wex's view of what makes a shmuch and what makes a mentsh, and I try to be more the latter than the former. There are a few good yucks in this book, but I'm just not sure what it's for. Is it a memoir? Is it a book of apologetics? Is it a mussar text? A linguistic one? I think the answer to all of these is 'yes' and the lack of focus hurts it.

[Harold · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny, informative introduction to many Yiddish phrases that the non-Jewish and Jewish folk don't always know. For example, "mentsch" is a common Yiddish word meaning "a person who is honest, humble and helping" and not just "a man". In contrast, a "schmuck" is a strong pejorative word equal to the English S.O.B. There is a veritable treasure trove of words and phrases that will be of interest to anyone who enjoys languages. One of my favorites is "hok a tsaynik" or "bang on a teakettle". So, if someone is yammering on, just say please stop "hokking a tsaynik". I highly recommend this book.

[Bryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This drove me crazy early on, just too many penises, but then later on it got pretty interesting about behaviour and morality. It gave me things to think about and it put some things I did not have words for into words. I cannot really compare it to other books like this because I have not read very many yet.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

First chapter is really interesting on the derivation of the word shmuck. The following chapters were very enlightening. I enjoy the Torah stories I am unfamiliar with and the parallels to modern world. Let to good discussions with my Jewish friends.

[Jill Edmondson · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable read.

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Boring, OMG so boring.