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Avoiding the Ageing Parent Trap: How to plan ahead and prevent legal and family issues
Informative and insightful, this is the essential family guide to preparing for ageing parents. This is a book that forces us to confront what most of us avoid - planning for our ageing parents. Our natural inclination is to wait and see what might happen. But when it does happen, or starts to unfold, we, and our siblings, are totally unprepared. Poor decisions, disputes with siblings and partners and the destruction of relationships can be the aftermath. Brian should know, as a lawyer working in this area for over 20 years, he has dealt with the fallout from these failures in families. Avoiding the Ageing Parent Trap is packed full of practical strategies for dealing with family dynamics and managing financial and legal affairs.This book this is your go-to resource Information and practical case studies to support families in their legal, financial, and healthcare decision-making. Easy to read and commonsense advice from a leading elder care lawyer, with hands-on experience and examples to demonstrate what to expect, and even better, how to plan and prepare. Help navigating the best outcomes for aging parents, from estate planning to Centrelink, residential aged care, wills, and financial pitfalls to avoid. A well-crafted, informative, and engaging read on a sensitive subject.‘’An Invaluable Guide” - Noel Whittaker (best-selling author and finance expert)
- GenresNonfiction
305 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 3, 2021
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28 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
November 13, 2022
I really didn't have high expectations of this book (which I'd picked up for a few dollars at a charity store)...but was I surprised. My own parent have passed away so most of the traps referred to in this book were in the past as far as I was concerned. But then I realised that the lessons here were directly applicable to me and to my children. Have I given a digital key to somebody so they can access my bank account and the family photos? Well, yes as it turns out but mainly by accident.
This is a book written for people who have ageing parents And the author is a lawyer with considerable experience in dealing with the aged. There is a lot of useful content there...it's written in an accessible fashion ...albeit rather repetitive. The main message is repeated ad nauseam ...that one should get professional advice both legal and financial and in some cases aged-care-specific before making big decisions.
One thing that did resonate for me was the need to appoint powers of attorney and have a proper will made out and have the discussions with family about how one wished to be treated before you became demented or lost the ability to communicate etc. Another thing was the rapidity with which events could impact you. A typical example being mum and dad living quite ok but dad shouldering most of the work as mum was incapacitated or suffering from mild dementia etc. Then dad has a stroke and overnight family are scrambling to find a nursing home and the necessary deposit etc. Brian Herd points out that there are many other options than selling the family house.
I think this is a significant book that has a lot of really practical advice and I've been recommending it to family and friends. I guess there are later editions ......maybe not (mine is dated 2021) but it's a book that I would be happy to recommend to any (Australian) family: anyone with ageing parents or even parents themselves who are getting on. Much of it would probably be universally applicable but it is written with the Australian systems in mind.
He raises all sorts of issues that I'd never thought about; couples who have demented partners who hook up with their opposites in complicated de-facto situations. Aged parents who re-marry. Siblings who take over mum and dad (and their assets)...and all sorts of issues that arise from disagreements between siblings.
Now that I've written this review it has jolted me to do something about updating my will and about powers of attorney...and make my digital legacy a lot more transparent and available.
Strongly recommend this book...and give it five stars.
This is a book written for people who have ageing parents And the author is a lawyer with considerable experience in dealing with the aged. There is a lot of useful content there...it's written in an accessible fashion ...albeit rather repetitive. The main message is repeated ad nauseam ...that one should get professional advice both legal and financial and in some cases aged-care-specific before making big decisions.
One thing that did resonate for me was the need to appoint powers of attorney and have a proper will made out and have the discussions with family about how one wished to be treated before you became demented or lost the ability to communicate etc. Another thing was the rapidity with which events could impact you. A typical example being mum and dad living quite ok but dad shouldering most of the work as mum was incapacitated or suffering from mild dementia etc. Then dad has a stroke and overnight family are scrambling to find a nursing home and the necessary deposit etc. Brian Herd points out that there are many other options than selling the family house.
I think this is a significant book that has a lot of really practical advice and I've been recommending it to family and friends. I guess there are later editions ......maybe not (mine is dated 2021) but it's a book that I would be happy to recommend to any (Australian) family: anyone with ageing parents or even parents themselves who are getting on. Much of it would probably be universally applicable but it is written with the Australian systems in mind.
He raises all sorts of issues that I'd never thought about; couples who have demented partners who hook up with their opposites in complicated de-facto situations. Aged parents who re-marry. Siblings who take over mum and dad (and their assets)...and all sorts of issues that arise from disagreements between siblings.
Now that I've written this review it has jolted me to do something about updating my will and about powers of attorney...and make my digital legacy a lot more transparent and available.
Strongly recommend this book...and give it five stars.
January 30, 2022
I bought this book as I am getting closer to being that “Ageing Parent”, and I found it gave me a direction in which I can now act.
It’s true, we delay thinking and talking about ageing, the possibility of becoming frail and losing our independence, and making sure we “have the talk” with our children.
There is so much to think about and to act on. Really good, clear information.
It’s true, we delay thinking and talking about ageing, the possibility of becoming frail and losing our independence, and making sure we “have the talk” with our children.
There is so much to think about and to act on. Really good, clear information.
July 5, 2021
Undoubtedly essential reading!
The writing style is very entertaining. I found it to be riveting reading and totally compelling.
The area of ageing is a legal minefield. Well meaning acts, done in ignorance can lead to disaster eg selling the family home that then changes from a tax exempt asset to a taxable asset that then precludes a parent from getting a pension! Paying a residential accommodation deposit for your second wife or husband will not automatically be repaid to you, but to the children of that spouse.
These are just some of the things I never knew! Furthermore the range of power bestowed by an Enduring Power of Attorney is mind boggling and wide open to fraudulent actions of a wayward adult child assuming that office.
Brian Herd's book is a wake-up call. Always get competent, aged-care financial advice well in advance. Aged care must be paid for. Getting all the adult children on board and in agreement and prepared just may save the family from imploding and their inheritance. Have written agreements over loans and gifts overseen by a lawyer. It could save you a fortune.
I highly recommend this book.
The writing style is very entertaining. I found it to be riveting reading and totally compelling.
The area of ageing is a legal minefield. Well meaning acts, done in ignorance can lead to disaster eg selling the family home that then changes from a tax exempt asset to a taxable asset that then precludes a parent from getting a pension! Paying a residential accommodation deposit for your second wife or husband will not automatically be repaid to you, but to the children of that spouse.
These are just some of the things I never knew! Furthermore the range of power bestowed by an Enduring Power of Attorney is mind boggling and wide open to fraudulent actions of a wayward adult child assuming that office.
Brian Herd's book is a wake-up call. Always get competent, aged-care financial advice well in advance. Aged care must be paid for. Getting all the adult children on board and in agreement and prepared just may save the family from imploding and their inheritance. Have written agreements over loans and gifts overseen by a lawyer. It could save you a fortune.
I highly recommend this book.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews