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Netherfield Must Go!: A Pride and Prejudice sample
Liza Bennett is a local DJ and a bit of a minor celebrity. When she learns that scurrilous property developer, Dorsey Fitzgerald of Pemberley Development Company, is getting ready to make a move into her neighborhood, she is aghast.
- GenresRomanceContemporary
63 pages, ebook
Published September 30, 2019
19 people are currently reading
332 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
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September 23, 2019Obviously I'm here for a modern P&P retelling, but this one needs a good edit for clarity if nothing else. There's a great voice in there, but it's stuck under clunky structure and style issues.
Also slightly worried that the Darcy may just be a straight-up asshole and not a decent dude underneath, but this is a serialized story, so it remains to be seen.
UPDATE 9/22/19: I've since become the editor of this book, and Nikki has uploaded the newly edited Part 1.
Also slightly worried that the Darcy may just be a straight-up asshole and not a decent dude underneath, but this is a serialized story, so it remains to be seen.
UPDATE 9/22/19: I've since become the editor of this book, and Nikki has uploaded the newly edited Part 1.
September 6, 2019
Updated Review:
Many of the typos I initially complained about have been corrected. Some errors remain, but they are no longer so numerous that I couldn’t finish the story. I am updating my rating from one to two stars.
Any novel purporting to be a Pride and Prejudice retelling sets a high bar for itself. I love Austen’s novel. I’ve read the book multiple times and have seen almost every film/tv adaptation. So much of the beauty of the original derives from the relationships between the characters. Watching them mature in the way they see themselves, and each other, is key to the novel’s charm. Even their arguments and disagreements contribute to the development of the plot.
That’s where this story breaks down. Liza B. is a DJ who is determined to stop a developer from tearing down the last low-income apartment complex in the neighborhood. Dorsey, the developer, wants to see the project completed and has little concern for the tenants who will be displaced or where they will go next. In fact he believes the residents deserve what’s coming to them for being so gullible.
Aside from the main goal, the story meandered from one topic to the next without any clear focus. Characters made derogatory comments about race and sexuality for no apparent reason. For example, Bev asks Liza about picketing for “the Gays.” Other than instructing her mother that “the” is not necessary, this issue goes no further. So what was the point? Maurice rants about “The White man’s need to colonize black space.” Dorsey is disgusted by Liza’s natural hair. People over fifty are denigrated. These types of comments are pervasive and they pulled me out of the story each time. I realize that characters need to have flaws in order to grow, but I still need to like the leads. This is a romance novel, after all.
David is described multiple times as a “man-boy.” He looks like, “a boy in men’s clothing.” I’m going to call this out every time an author does it. If a character is childlike, keep that character out of romantic entanglements with adults. Period!
The story would have benefitted from more introspection in lieu of so much dialogue. I rarely got a chance to see what the characters were thinking. What did they want beyond the immediate needs of the day? What was the neighborhood like? Yes, they were apparently stuck there, but did they ever dream of anything else? Was the neighborhood well kept even if it was a poor community? Did the Bennett family have friends they socialized with? Lucia makes a brief appearance at the end of the story, but overall, there was little development of the setting or the world.
I felt no chemistry between Dorsey and Liza. If this were a full novel, that wouldn’t be an issue. They would have time for the relationship to develop. But this is only the first installment. I need something to inspire me to purchase the next issue. Unfortunately, their brief meeting wasn’t strong enough to do that.
In short, I needed more character development.
Original Review: 1 Star, DNF
DNF. This book is riddled with typos. I noticed this issue in the sample and hoped it would be addressed in the final version. It wasn’t. I gave up after three pages..
Many of the typos I initially complained about have been corrected. Some errors remain, but they are no longer so numerous that I couldn’t finish the story. I am updating my rating from one to two stars.
Any novel purporting to be a Pride and Prejudice retelling sets a high bar for itself. I love Austen’s novel. I’ve read the book multiple times and have seen almost every film/tv adaptation. So much of the beauty of the original derives from the relationships between the characters. Watching them mature in the way they see themselves, and each other, is key to the novel’s charm. Even their arguments and disagreements contribute to the development of the plot.
That’s where this story breaks down. Liza B. is a DJ who is determined to stop a developer from tearing down the last low-income apartment complex in the neighborhood. Dorsey, the developer, wants to see the project completed and has little concern for the tenants who will be displaced or where they will go next. In fact he believes the residents deserve what’s coming to them for being so gullible.
Aside from the main goal, the story meandered from one topic to the next without any clear focus. Characters made derogatory comments about race and sexuality for no apparent reason. For example, Bev asks Liza about picketing for “the Gays.” Other than instructing her mother that “the” is not necessary, this issue goes no further. So what was the point? Maurice rants about “The White man’s need to colonize black space.” Dorsey is disgusted by Liza’s natural hair. People over fifty are denigrated. These types of comments are pervasive and they pulled me out of the story each time. I realize that characters need to have flaws in order to grow, but I still need to like the leads. This is a romance novel, after all.
David is described multiple times as a “man-boy.” He looks like, “a boy in men’s clothing.” I’m going to call this out every time an author does it. If a character is childlike, keep that character out of romantic entanglements with adults. Period!
The story would have benefitted from more introspection in lieu of so much dialogue. I rarely got a chance to see what the characters were thinking. What did they want beyond the immediate needs of the day? What was the neighborhood like? Yes, they were apparently stuck there, but did they ever dream of anything else? Was the neighborhood well kept even if it was a poor community? Did the Bennett family have friends they socialized with? Lucia makes a brief appearance at the end of the story, but overall, there was little development of the setting or the world.
I felt no chemistry between Dorsey and Liza. If this were a full novel, that wouldn’t be an issue. They would have time for the relationship to develop. But this is only the first installment. I need something to inspire me to purchase the next issue. Unfortunately, their brief meeting wasn’t strong enough to do that.
In short, I needed more character development.
Original Review: 1 Star, DNF
DNF. This book is riddled with typos. I noticed this issue in the sample and hoped it would be addressed in the final version. It wasn’t. I gave up after three pages..
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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January 17, 2020─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Synopsis:
This short novella is a retelling on Pride and Prejudice. It features Liza, a prominent voice in her community speaking out and for black voices as a radio DJ. When a developer decides to begin gentrifying her Southeast DC neighborhood she absolutely will not have it, but neither will Dorsey Fitzgerald who is determined to have his way. Too bad Liza is just the one to level the playing field.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
My Thoughts & Wrap-Up:
I loved this! It was a fast read and super funny too. Liza’s mother and Grandmother were the stars of the book for me with all of their outlandish behavior and inappropriate comments that only black momma’s can say. While Liza is focused on saving her neighborhood, her family is more interested in finding the sisters men at the party the developers are throwing to celebrate the “remodel of the neighborhood”. I love how fast the story moved and how relatable and real Liza’s character was, I also loved that Dorsey Fitzgerald was her complete opposite in every way. I cannot wait for the other installments because I am going to eat this mini-retelling UP.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Synopsis:
This short novella is a retelling on Pride and Prejudice. It features Liza, a prominent voice in her community speaking out and for black voices as a radio DJ. When a developer decides to begin gentrifying her Southeast DC neighborhood she absolutely will not have it, but neither will Dorsey Fitzgerald who is determined to have his way. Too bad Liza is just the one to level the playing field.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
My Thoughts & Wrap-Up:
I loved this! It was a fast read and super funny too. Liza’s mother and Grandmother were the stars of the book for me with all of their outlandish behavior and inappropriate comments that only black momma’s can say. While Liza is focused on saving her neighborhood, her family is more interested in finding the sisters men at the party the developers are throwing to celebrate the “remodel of the neighborhood”. I love how fast the story moved and how relatable and real Liza’s character was, I also loved that Dorsey Fitzgerald was her complete opposite in every way. I cannot wait for the other installments because I am going to eat this mini-retelling UP.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
August 31, 2019
I love the cover!!!!
I can't say if I loved or hated the banter between Liza and Darcey. It's a novella so Payne had to be concise in the story telling and that it was. Both characters lodged racial stereotypes at each other that made me cringe but in a real world setting I could see why it would happen.
To be honest this novella felt like an excerpt of maybe Insecure or Grownish. The social commentary but centered in having to find a man if you get what I'm saying.
If you read Pride by Ibi Zoboi it has the same premise gentrification of a low income Black neighborhood only difference is the male character is Filipino.
I can't say if I loved or hated the banter between Liza and Darcey. It's a novella so Payne had to be concise in the story telling and that it was. Both characters lodged racial stereotypes at each other that made me cringe but in a real world setting I could see why it would happen.
To be honest this novella felt like an excerpt of maybe Insecure or Grownish. The social commentary but centered in having to find a man if you get what I'm saying.
If you read Pride by Ibi Zoboi it has the same premise gentrification of a low income Black neighborhood only difference is the male character is Filipino.
September 28, 2019
Very funny and very good. Can't wait for the second one !
October 5, 2019
Loved it! Fresh urban spin on an old love story! One of my top favorite P&P variations of all time! I put this on my must read list!! Mahalo nui!!!
January 3, 2022
I thought this was a full book but it's broken into 4 parts? The beginning reminds me of fan fiction but the more I read the more it felt more like a retelling of P&P. Kind of wish the Bingleys and Fitzgerald's we're black so that the author could show how black people can also gentrify neighborhoods.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 15, 2020
I hope we get to eventually read the other parts. As of August 2020, it's no longer on Amazon.
July 15, 2020
Second installment was better than the first. Kept me interested and made me curious what happens next.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews