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Status Single
Marriage. It’s the obvious path for every girl in India. It’s supposed to define us, shape us and give meaning to our life. But does it, really? Figures show that nearly 74.1 million women in India are either divorced, separated, widowed or have never been married. And the number is on the rise.
In what promises to be a path-breaking work on female identity, Sreemoyee Piu Kundu, a proud-to-be-single woman herself, spills the beans on what it is like being over 30 and unattached in India, through her own compelling story and the chequered lives and journeys of nearly 3,000 urban single Indian women from all walks of life.
Women, whether single by choice or circumstance, are under scathing societal pressure, invasive scrutiny and pervasive criticism. Be it the difficulty in renting an apartment, being character-assassinated by your gynaecologist, or being slut- shamed as having slept your way to the top, even when you’re successful professionally, a single woman’s life choices are the easiest to dissect.
From one of the most powerful voices in contemporary Indian writing, comes a passionate narrative of grit and gumption, anger and loneliness and the daily struggle of being single in a country where the highest validation of your gender remains marriage and motherhood. Fiercely honest and painfully vulnerable, Status Single is a book that every woman and man—single or otherwise—must read.
In what promises to be a path-breaking work on female identity, Sreemoyee Piu Kundu, a proud-to-be-single woman herself, spills the beans on what it is like being over 30 and unattached in India, through her own compelling story and the chequered lives and journeys of nearly 3,000 urban single Indian women from all walks of life.
Women, whether single by choice or circumstance, are under scathing societal pressure, invasive scrutiny and pervasive criticism. Be it the difficulty in renting an apartment, being character-assassinated by your gynaecologist, or being slut- shamed as having slept your way to the top, even when you’re successful professionally, a single woman’s life choices are the easiest to dissect.
From one of the most powerful voices in contemporary Indian writing, comes a passionate narrative of grit and gumption, anger and loneliness and the daily struggle of being single in a country where the highest validation of your gender remains marriage and motherhood. Fiercely honest and painfully vulnerable, Status Single is a book that every woman and man—single or otherwise—must read.
255 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 12, 2018
21 people are currently reading
216 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
April 10, 2020
Too pretentious.
December 8, 2018
It is not a regular affair, and I can only talk about Indian context having experienced just that, for a single woman in India to not be called out for being unattached, single or unmarried. It goes without saying that if you are over late 20s or in your 30s (Oh My God) your life must revolve around babies and your man. Don’t have one? Hells are breaking lose, Madame.
This book traces the truths and sharp observations on being a single woman in India. It moves from primary level shaming of the single women in question through ‘light-hearted’ jokes to “concerned aunties” to a graver stats of the whole society in general which makes it ultra difficult to survive. From sexuality to job profiles to marriage profiles, whatever the woman does or shall ever do is almost always under scrutiny. This book discusses each aspect without sugar-coating anything.
I am an avid reader but I haven’t finished any book in a day. Kundu gave me my first.
Key features:
This book is hilariously true.
While showcasing honest experiences of multiple single women, it has carved a niche for writings on women by women but readable for all.
It grips you till the end because you cannot just keep this one down. Why? It is like a conversation.
The writing style is localized and conversational like a casual chat between two friends.
USP:
This one doesn’t sugar-coat anything!
Final comments:
I really like when women come out and narrate tales on women, for women. This one is a must read. The only thing I wasn’t very keen on was that certain sections were too stretched. Go read this one!
This book traces the truths and sharp observations on being a single woman in India. It moves from primary level shaming of the single women in question through ‘light-hearted’ jokes to “concerned aunties” to a graver stats of the whole society in general which makes it ultra difficult to survive. From sexuality to job profiles to marriage profiles, whatever the woman does or shall ever do is almost always under scrutiny. This book discusses each aspect without sugar-coating anything.
I am an avid reader but I haven’t finished any book in a day. Kundu gave me my first.
Key features:
This book is hilariously true.
While showcasing honest experiences of multiple single women, it has carved a niche for writings on women by women but readable for all.
It grips you till the end because you cannot just keep this one down. Why? It is like a conversation.
The writing style is localized and conversational like a casual chat between two friends.
USP:
This one doesn’t sugar-coat anything!
Final comments:
I really like when women come out and narrate tales on women, for women. This one is a must read. The only thing I wasn’t very keen on was that certain sections were too stretched. Go read this one!
March 30, 2018
"Shameless , Nakchadi , Manglik , Sar Phiri...."
Welcome to the stereotype world where a woman is bound to get married and have a family before she turns 30. And if you don't get married? Oh don't even think about it ; you'll be slut-shamed , called names , be tagged and what not. Oh it's a NIGHTMARE!!
Status Single by Sreemoyee Piu Kundu is the piece of literature every person needs to read. Sreemoyee takes you through the lives of women who have crossed the "get married before you turn 30" deadline and are living their life on their own terms. Filled with real life incidents and non-fictional characters , the author has briefly discussed the struggles of these women and their real life experiences on various ground.
Some grounds the author has covered are -
Turning 30 - transition from bechari to bitch
From "I Quit to I Do"
Baby Making factories or Baanjh?
At the end of every chapter , the author gives a note titled Status Single.
The book addresses an issue which is not talked about openly yet is hushed in the closed door. No one would ever question a man if he is single and earning for himself but a woman in this soo called "liberal and equal world" will be called names by the society because she is living her life on her own terms.
A strong message coated with humor and sarcasm , I highly recommend this book.
Welcome to the stereotype world where a woman is bound to get married and have a family before she turns 30. And if you don't get married? Oh don't even think about it ; you'll be slut-shamed , called names , be tagged and what not. Oh it's a NIGHTMARE!!
Status Single by Sreemoyee Piu Kundu is the piece of literature every person needs to read. Sreemoyee takes you through the lives of women who have crossed the "get married before you turn 30" deadline and are living their life on their own terms. Filled with real life incidents and non-fictional characters , the author has briefly discussed the struggles of these women and their real life experiences on various ground.
Some grounds the author has covered are -
Turning 30 - transition from bechari to bitch
From "I Quit to I Do"
Baby Making factories or Baanjh?
At the end of every chapter , the author gives a note titled Status Single.
The book addresses an issue which is not talked about openly yet is hushed in the closed door. No one would ever question a man if he is single and earning for himself but a woman in this soo called "liberal and equal world" will be called names by the society because she is living her life on her own terms.
A strong message coated with humor and sarcasm , I highly recommend this book.
February 13, 2018
Absolutely loved this brilliantly written fresh perspective on single women, and their experiences and lives. A wonderful attempt at breaking stereotypes and stigmas.
November 3, 2018
This book chronicles stories of women who have crossed 30s and are single. This book almost complements and extends Chup, where Deepa Narayan explains how women are taught to not exist and get married and 'dedicate' their life to support their husband instead of forging their own identity. This book looks into the lives of women who are single, either decidedly, on happenstance, or separated, or divorced. Into the endless judgements, character assaults and moral policing, even when women are successful professionally and financially. Into the inquisitive landlords or some society committee comprising of uncles who won't rent out an apartment to a single women past 30. Into unwanted advances of married elder men thinking that single and past 30 means a women is desperate and available. Into the families of prospective grooms who are threatened by the freedom, and thus labelling them as 'fast', when in reality, all they want is a glorified maid. Into shallow marriages covering up the abusive husbands and male chauvinism and clipped wings.
Sreemoyee also sheds light on narrow-mindedness of our society which can't look at a women beyond her caregiving and child-producing abilities, and want to box women into role of supporters rather than individuals.
Reading this book, one just feels that patriarchy is just sad and perpetrators encompass both genders.
Particularly liked this one excerpt in the book (from another book called Spinster : Making a life of one's own by Kate Bolick)
Feminism is going to make it possible for the first time for the men to be free. [....] Men want the sense of power than they want the sense of freedom.. They want someone dependent on them more than they want a comrade. As long as they can be lords in a thirty-dollar flat, they are willing enough to be slaves in the great world outside....
Read this book if you want to understand the struggles of single women, or look into the darkness of a society that just can't come to terms with a woman owning her mind, her body and her life.
Sreemoyee also sheds light on narrow-mindedness of our society which can't look at a women beyond her caregiving and child-producing abilities, and want to box women into role of supporters rather than individuals.
Reading this book, one just feels that patriarchy is just sad and perpetrators encompass both genders.
Particularly liked this one excerpt in the book (from another book called Spinster : Making a life of one's own by Kate Bolick)
Feminism is going to make it possible for the first time for the men to be free. [....] Men want the sense of power than they want the sense of freedom.. They want someone dependent on them more than they want a comrade. As long as they can be lords in a thirty-dollar flat, they are willing enough to be slaves in the great world outside....
Read this book if you want to understand the struggles of single women, or look into the darkness of a society that just can't come to terms with a woman owning her mind, her body and her life.
July 21, 2018
This book is a tale of what every woman in this country goes through at one stage or the other in life. Unwanted at birth and heckled at every possible turn in their lives, the life of a woman is defined only by what society thinks and must do. Any deviation is punished in so many ways that it is but a miracle that suicide rates among women in India have not hit the roof. This book is a scathing recital of the travails of women as they move from one junction to another and how in most cases it is women who themselves make the existence of other women downright miserable.
A poignant read and as you finish the book, you do some carcasses of broken dreams and aspirations of many women around you...some off course stand across like phoenixes. what can we do to create more such phoenixes needs thought...a wonderful read!!
A poignant read and as you finish the book, you do some carcasses of broken dreams and aspirations of many women around you...some off course stand across like phoenixes. what can we do to create more such phoenixes needs thought...a wonderful read!!
September 26, 2020
I think it's a must- read for all single women for them to know they are not alone. It also tells us about the choices some single women have made, which makes one think long and hard about the world. It's an important book that tells stories that need to be heard.
February 12, 2018
I liked this book and I suggest everybody should read this. It's title and stories of single womens are amazing. Thank you Sreemoyee Kundu.
July 16, 2018
Read this very as her previous books didn't work for me at all but many of my friends were interviewed for it. Far better than her earlier book it does touch upon some important points. But I think her writing is not for me. I somehow don’t feel any emotional connect with her prose.
April 21, 2018
Shameless. Selfish. Slut. Bimbette. Available. Lonely. Nymphomaniac. Abala. Manglik.
Welcome to the world of single women in India where the above-mentioned adjectives are used by society to describe her. Sreemoyee Piu Kundu's latest book 'Status Single' is all about being single in a country which 'places the highest premium on marriage or motherhood'. I think this is the first of its kind non-fiction book which reveals 'the truth about being a single woman in India'. According to the 2011 census data, single women form 21% of India's population and are close to 73 million in number. These include unmarried, divorced, separated and widowed women. I never imagined this whopping number of single women, that too in a country like India. As rightly pointed out by Kundu, we are 'a demography sans a definition'. This book is a compilation of the stories of 3000 urban single Indian women from all walks of life, including the personal journey of Kundu.
This book takes a closer look at some of the common problems faced by single women and how the gutsy, fiesty women are taking every obstacle in their stride.
Chapter one talks about what it means to turn 30 for a single woman, because the "single" tag becomes visible especially after turning 30. The book discusses all the dimensions of turning 30, when priorities change from finding the right man to finding the right health insurance. Each chapter tells the story of some of the single women, the best part being the author remaining non-judgmental while telling the stories of others. At the end of each chapter, there's some solid advice for the single women, some of which totally resonated, like the one to 'filter out the unnecessary noise and treat your 30s as a hardening process' at the end of chapter one.
Chapter Two is about the physical appearance of women being her 'meal ticket'.
Chapter Three is about the not-so-pleasant encounters of single women with gynaecologists. What I like best about this chapter is that the author has mentioned some alternatives to avoid the hassles of visiting nosy gynaecologists, like mentioning some digital platforms to help women in this regard.
The chapter I can relate most is Chapter Four, talking about motherhood. I myself being a single mother, I found the journeys of fellow single mothers mentioned here very inspiring. One story of such a mother belonging to the LGBT community strikes me the most. That mother very matter-of-factly pointed out that "a mother is not a label that needs men, marriage and legal sanction. A mother is another synonym for care."
Chapter Five: "Bultu, Biye and Bachelotettes" begins on a hilarious note, but points sarcastically to the sad reality of Indian arranged marriage market, where women are treated like commodities to be chosen by the men.
Chapter Six is all about fulfilling the sexual urges of single women through means ranging from online dating to buying sex toys. Some lines totally resonated:
"...each superficial and unsatisfactory encounter deplete us further, worsening feelings of emptiness and lonesomeness..... Going from one casual fling after the next results in a more gnawing loneliness, one that can cause depression, and in the vulnerable, even suicide."
The end note made me re-think about desire, desire which not only connotes sex.
Chapter Seven examines both the pros and cons of living with parents, after a certain age. It doesn't advocate any single approach, rather Kundu ends up saying "Your life. Your rules."
Chapter Eight totally resonated, it being about the new singles: the divorcees. What is best about it is that it talks about making our daughters self-reliant, not waiting for any male validation and lists the legal recourses being available to women who are victimes of abusive marriages.
Chapter Nine is about a single women's friend circles. It has discussed some common dilemmas that we face while choosing or maintaining friendships.
Chapter Nine is about the fiery women entrepreneurs, who are queen of their own kingdoms sans a king.
The Epilogue: "Single, Not Sorry" will remain with me for a long time. I am now unapologetically single after going through it.
In a way, reading this book has been a paradigm shift for me. I feel stronger like never before. Kundu has taught us "to separate being single from not being married, because singlehood is so much deeper and richer." She has presented to us all a new definition of being 'Single'.
"Single is not a state of life. But a state of mind."
Welcome to the world of single women in India where the above-mentioned adjectives are used by society to describe her. Sreemoyee Piu Kundu's latest book 'Status Single' is all about being single in a country which 'places the highest premium on marriage or motherhood'. I think this is the first of its kind non-fiction book which reveals 'the truth about being a single woman in India'. According to the 2011 census data, single women form 21% of India's population and are close to 73 million in number. These include unmarried, divorced, separated and widowed women. I never imagined this whopping number of single women, that too in a country like India. As rightly pointed out by Kundu, we are 'a demography sans a definition'. This book is a compilation of the stories of 3000 urban single Indian women from all walks of life, including the personal journey of Kundu.
This book takes a closer look at some of the common problems faced by single women and how the gutsy, fiesty women are taking every obstacle in their stride.
Chapter one talks about what it means to turn 30 for a single woman, because the "single" tag becomes visible especially after turning 30. The book discusses all the dimensions of turning 30, when priorities change from finding the right man to finding the right health insurance. Each chapter tells the story of some of the single women, the best part being the author remaining non-judgmental while telling the stories of others. At the end of each chapter, there's some solid advice for the single women, some of which totally resonated, like the one to 'filter out the unnecessary noise and treat your 30s as a hardening process' at the end of chapter one.
Chapter Two is about the physical appearance of women being her 'meal ticket'.
Chapter Three is about the not-so-pleasant encounters of single women with gynaecologists. What I like best about this chapter is that the author has mentioned some alternatives to avoid the hassles of visiting nosy gynaecologists, like mentioning some digital platforms to help women in this regard.
The chapter I can relate most is Chapter Four, talking about motherhood. I myself being a single mother, I found the journeys of fellow single mothers mentioned here very inspiring. One story of such a mother belonging to the LGBT community strikes me the most. That mother very matter-of-factly pointed out that "a mother is not a label that needs men, marriage and legal sanction. A mother is another synonym for care."
Chapter Five: "Bultu, Biye and Bachelotettes" begins on a hilarious note, but points sarcastically to the sad reality of Indian arranged marriage market, where women are treated like commodities to be chosen by the men.
Chapter Six is all about fulfilling the sexual urges of single women through means ranging from online dating to buying sex toys. Some lines totally resonated:
"...each superficial and unsatisfactory encounter deplete us further, worsening feelings of emptiness and lonesomeness..... Going from one casual fling after the next results in a more gnawing loneliness, one that can cause depression, and in the vulnerable, even suicide."
The end note made me re-think about desire, desire which not only connotes sex.
Chapter Seven examines both the pros and cons of living with parents, after a certain age. It doesn't advocate any single approach, rather Kundu ends up saying "Your life. Your rules."
Chapter Eight totally resonated, it being about the new singles: the divorcees. What is best about it is that it talks about making our daughters self-reliant, not waiting for any male validation and lists the legal recourses being available to women who are victimes of abusive marriages.
Chapter Nine is about a single women's friend circles. It has discussed some common dilemmas that we face while choosing or maintaining friendships.
Chapter Nine is about the fiery women entrepreneurs, who are queen of their own kingdoms sans a king.
The Epilogue: "Single, Not Sorry" will remain with me for a long time. I am now unapologetically single after going through it.
In a way, reading this book has been a paradigm shift for me. I feel stronger like never before. Kundu has taught us "to separate being single from not being married, because singlehood is so much deeper and richer." She has presented to us all a new definition of being 'Single'.
"Single is not a state of life. But a state of mind."
May 26, 2018
Status Single is a book of several stories narrated by several single women in our country including divorcees.
I'm not gonna review the book, I'm only gonna tell about how book left an impact one me.
The book reveiled so many heinous faces of being single in our society. I wasn't aware about any of the faces before. I never knew how does it feel like to be rejected for having a flat on rent just because you are single irrespective of your good character and profession. I had no knowledge that women after 30 are considered to be easy spot for men, married and unmarried both, to have them on their bed. Some of the stories literally left me in an awe and I was flabbergasted by how some women are so strong and rigid in their choices and towards unfair cruelty of life. One more thing I learn from this book is no matter if you are single or married. A woman should always be financially stabled of her own. She should have her own back balance for unfortunate times which no one envisions for sure.
I loved the book and will highly recommend it to everyone.
I'm single and I'm proud of my singlehood and will never change it just for the sake of society or rudimentary traditions.
I'm not gonna review the book, I'm only gonna tell about how book left an impact one me.
The book reveiled so many heinous faces of being single in our society. I wasn't aware about any of the faces before. I never knew how does it feel like to be rejected for having a flat on rent just because you are single irrespective of your good character and profession. I had no knowledge that women after 30 are considered to be easy spot for men, married and unmarried both, to have them on their bed. Some of the stories literally left me in an awe and I was flabbergasted by how some women are so strong and rigid in their choices and towards unfair cruelty of life. One more thing I learn from this book is no matter if you are single or married. A woman should always be financially stabled of her own. She should have her own back balance for unfortunate times which no one envisions for sure.
I loved the book and will highly recommend it to everyone.
I'm single and I'm proud of my singlehood and will never change it just for the sake of society or rudimentary traditions.
June 8, 2019
This was an amazing & soul searching book. I loved every Spinsters story brought out so well by the author Piu Kundu. I was enriched by the testimonials of so many women in the book, including the writer's own example as a woman of substance. The powerful voice of the author is very much felt in this exemplary book about women who wish to remain single out of choice. I've been a proclaimed spinster since I was in the 5th standard & reading this book has only fed fat to my determined stand to remain a spinster till the end of my days. This book was soul balm to me, making me not want the book to end. Kudos to Piu Kundu for a well researched book & her authentic voice. We need more women like you to give us strength through the written word. Excellent job !
September 4, 2020
A fantastic and sad truth about the discrimination faced by the single women in the indian society. The name calling, slut shamming, abuse in everywhere the society is cruel to them everywhere. The author has done extensive interviews from women all over india and done great research on the topic. a must read by everyone and stop shamming women for them being single. Its their choice, who are we to question. This damn society is always questions and judges women for her choice, be it choosing career over marriage, being childfree and so on. This society should undergo an extensive change. Great work form the author.
June 22, 2018
A very pleasant read.
June 2, 2020
I would recommend every single to read this book
February 23, 2022
As a single woman, this book spoke to me on a different level. It made me think and feel the deepest emotions I was harboring inside me. Thanks to Shreemoyee, I know I am not alone in this journey of singlehood. Cheers to all the women out there who are fighting an uphill battle within this society who is afraid of single women. This book is a must read.
June 14, 2022
Recommended.
A thought-provoking read and very well written to boot, the only irritant being the many proofreading errors it is peppered with.
A thought-provoking read and very well written to boot, the only irritant being the many proofreading errors it is peppered with.
March 26, 2018
I'm in dual mind about this book. On one hand, I can totally relate to some of the experiences and situations described in the book but on the other hand, I felt it lacked something. Status Single is a story made of several stories of single women in India, who are often subjected to and judged by the society's regressive mindset. The author has done an excellent job in interviewing a variety of women and you can't help but marvel at some of them, especially those who've battled the worst of situations to finally come to term with their singlehood. Mostly I feel the book is for women and accepting ourselves the way we are. I doubt it will be possible for men to relate with the book because as Indian women some experiences are unique only to our subset. But I completely recommend reading this one. If you are an Indian women, you surely might have battled prejudices at least in some walks of life and for you, i say, it is a must read.
July 12, 2018
Sreemoyee puts forward the frustrations & despair that so many single women in India go through for no fault of theirs. It’s a voice to the emotions of not just the women whose stories we read in the book, but the multitude of women who sail in the same boat. Being shunned by society and agonized by constant questions about their single status and sex lives, how they long for privacy and to be treated normally.
The author covers their day to day struggles starting from renting their own place, having a normal social life, being treated fairly in the workplace to the emotional struggles of battling loneliness, insecurity of losing loved ones, being hit upon by lusty men and carrying the burden of a haunting past. The stories of the women in the book have been handled with great sensitivity. These are inspirational women and their stories show how they are managing to be lead successful lives despite all the blockers society puts in their way.
Sreemoyee has captured the struggles and emotions of singles of different types – spinster, divorced, windowed, disabled, from different parts of the society – all sharing a common pain. The book is well written and the chapters have been given interesting names. There are some fine humourous pieces like the letter to ‘Bultu’ which refers to the snobbish, choosy and controlling mother of the prospective groom.
A lot of women- single or not would relate to the book. All of us have faced these issues in our life at some point or the other, like having an inferiority complex due to our looks, being shunned by society for our life choices, for being discriminated against for being single, separated or childless, compromising our happiness and self-respect for the man who turns from dream to nightmare. In fact, one of the blog posts I wrote was about the inferiority complex I faced due to my dark complexion.
https://medium.com/@anupachatterji/th...
Kudos to Sreemoyee for in India who deserve the same respect as anybody else.
The author covers their day to day struggles starting from renting their own place, having a normal social life, being treated fairly in the workplace to the emotional struggles of battling loneliness, insecurity of losing loved ones, being hit upon by lusty men and carrying the burden of a haunting past. The stories of the women in the book have been handled with great sensitivity. These are inspirational women and their stories show how they are managing to be lead successful lives despite all the blockers society puts in their way.
Sreemoyee has captured the struggles and emotions of singles of different types – spinster, divorced, windowed, disabled, from different parts of the society – all sharing a common pain. The book is well written and the chapters have been given interesting names. There are some fine humourous pieces like the letter to ‘Bultu’ which refers to the snobbish, choosy and controlling mother of the prospective groom.
A lot of women- single or not would relate to the book. All of us have faced these issues in our life at some point or the other, like having an inferiority complex due to our looks, being shunned by society for our life choices, for being discriminated against for being single, separated or childless, compromising our happiness and self-respect for the man who turns from dream to nightmare. In fact, one of the blog posts I wrote was about the inferiority complex I faced due to my dark complexion.
https://medium.com/@anupachatterji/th...
Kudos to Sreemoyee for in India who deserve the same respect as anybody else.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews