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Befriending the Stranger

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In Befriending the Stranger Jean Vanier reflects on who we are and how we build our communities amidst all the violence and corruption of the world. In six meditative pieces based on Scripture, he opens up God’s invitation to us today to create new places of belonging and sharing, of peace and kindness, where each person is loved and accepted. The renewal of the church and the unity of Jesus’ followers will come, writes Vanier, as we serve and befriend the poor and unwanted of our societies, and as we learn to live with our own poverty and loneliness. Originally given at a retreat for people who assist those with disabilities, Vanier’s reflections are for all who seek to live out God’s love.

139 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2005

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About the author

Jean Vanier

220 books167 followers
Jean Vanier was educated in England and Canada, entered the Royal Naval College, Dartmouth, England in 1942. He went to sea in 1945 in the Royal Navy and in 1947 transferred to the Royal Canadian Navy. He resigned from the Royal Canadian Navy in 1950 while serving H.M.C.S. Magnificent. He then went to France to work in a students' community outside of Paris. He studied philosophy and theology and obtained a Doctorate from the Catholic Institute in Paris.

At various times in his life, Vanier has been a(n)
author-
traveler-
founder-
humanitarian-
peacemaker-

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5 stars
55 (49%)
4 stars
40 (36%)
3 stars
11 (9%)
2 stars
2 (1%)
1 star
3 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
Profile Image for Stephen Bedard.
581 reviews9 followers
March 15, 2020
This is the first Jean Vanier book I've read since the revelations of his sexual abuse. Still, his actions do not take away from the truth of his words. He provides good spiritual encouragement.
Profile Image for Chris Rohde.
89 reviews3 followers
February 3, 2020
I found this book both beautiful and challenging. Christ's call to love the weakest among us is a challenging one and one that I need to hear over and over again. Additionally, Vanier's prose is absolutely gorgeous at times. I highly recommend this book for those trying to figure out how to live out Christ's call to love our neighbor.
Profile Image for Rachel B.
1,040 reviews66 followers
August 24, 2023
This book was based on a series of talks, and it shows. Even at 133 pages, it felt longer than necessary. There was repetition and that feeling that nothing was really being communicated.

The format was not edited to read like a regular book, so it feels almost like 'spoken word' poetry written down, with line breaks for every pause instead of commas.

While a few good things were said here and there, there were also a couple huge red flags, theology-wise.

One section talked about trusting your own heart and your deepest intuitions, stating, "Perhaps that is all that Jesus wants to tell you today: 'Trust in yourself and in your own heart.'" (47) Uh, no, that's completely unbiblical advice. The Bible says that the heart is deceitful above all things, and we should not trust our own understanding, but instead should trust in the Lord.

Another section told the story of the woman at the well, and insinuates that because Jesus didn't condemn the woman, He didn't condemn adultery. Again, this is unbiblical, not to mention illogical. There is a difference between the condemnation of a sin and a sinner. Adultery is wrong, according to the Bible, and God condemns it - but because He is so loving and merciful, He is willing to forgive us when we sin. This is not the same as saying that it just doesn't matter if we sin or not - which Vanier didn't claim, either, to be fair, but he left the subject somewhat open for interpretation, and not all readers are going to have a biblical understanding of this.
Profile Image for Cathie.
1,258 reviews
April 5, 2025
A church study. It was a quick read because it's written in free verse style. There are 6 chapters, with quotes from the Gospels. It emphasizes community and living in love and following Jesus' example so I'm not sure the title totally applies.
Profile Image for Johnny.
39 reviews3 followers
March 8, 2018
Definitely one of my new favorite books. It's a quick read, but formatted to be read over the course of six days. Go grab a copy– you won't regret it.
3 reviews
September 14, 2024
Read it years ago….but finding out he was a Sexual predator after his death brought my rating from 5 to 1
Profile Image for Peter.
Author 3 books14 followers
October 21, 2015
A wonderful and challenging book, simple in style and message yet profound. I suppose it could sound like so many platitudes if it were not for the fact that Jean Vanier has lived and experienced the reality of caring for those with severe disabilities, and has learned from them.

It struck me how weakness, that we try so hard to eliminate from our lives, is the key to strength. God himself became weak, vulnerable, wounded, poor, and even dead. Therein is the mystery of life and healing.

"We can cry out as if in a void
or we can cry out to God."
Jean Vanier (Befriending the Stranger, p125)
Profile Image for Maria Longley.
1,153 reviews10 followers
November 30, 2015
Befriending the Stranger is based on a retreat Jean Vanier led for assistants at L'Arche in the Dominican Republic. So this was for a particular group of people living in a very particular community set-up. And yet what he has to say is very universal on living with each other and ourselves, on belonging and accepting each other and ourselves. If I wasn't having to return the libraray book I think I'd start reading all over again as there's so much to ponder over in here.
5 reviews
January 6, 2008
I started reading this book after listening to Jean Vanier's interview online from Krista Tippett's "Speaking of Faith" radio blog.
It's kind of a difficult book to characterize. He explains how he thinks about the New Testament and what led him to found L'Arche, and he goes through certain parables in detail.
Profile Image for Simeon.
13 reviews4 followers
March 10, 2008
Series of six talks given by Jean Vanier, very inspiring
6 reviews
January 9, 2010
Unbelievable. Changed how I think of hospitality, taking care of others, and even taking care of myself.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews

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