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Ill Met By Moonlight
Walking death, they’re called.
And those horrible macadamia trees.
But their real names are Whig, Mary Jane, and Quetzalcoatl, just to name three of them.
Trees don’t walk. But here they do. In ILL MET BY MOONLIGHT they walk, they kill, they eat people, and then they—
Nope.
Telling you more would spoil the fun.
Welcome to this horror collection about the walking macadamia nut trees of Hawaii.
Believe it or not, you’re going to laugh.
A new addition to the humorous horror genre.
Enjoy.
And those horrible macadamia trees.
But their real names are Whig, Mary Jane, and Quetzalcoatl, just to name three of them.
Trees don’t walk. But here they do. In ILL MET BY MOONLIGHT they walk, they kill, they eat people, and then they—
Nope.
Telling you more would spoil the fun.
Welcome to this horror collection about the walking macadamia nut trees of Hawaii.
Believe it or not, you’re going to laugh.
A new addition to the humorous horror genre.
Enjoy.
- GenresHorror
108 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 10, 2016
9 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 13, 2019
( Format : Audiobook )
"Feed me. Feed me now. Now. NOW. Right NOW."
I'll Meet by Moonlight, is a delightfully unexpected pleasure: a book of nine short stories with a continuity of theme: the macadamia trees of a small estate in Hawaii which had been transplanted to the other side of the island by a research company, up to and including their relocating to a new place, an island grouping suitable named No Mans Land. Every story is refreshingly different, from the (almost) conventional private eye investigation - the title story - through to the discovery of what a man's cat really thought about his owner. The reader will be introduced to murderous attacks, the quest for an homeland, the escape and transformation of a killer from jail and even a recipe for Brown Betty, a form of apple pie (although I am unable to verify how good this is as I have not yet cooked it, but if it was good enough to create an ambassador....).
These tales could be construed as horror stories were it not for the delicious naughtiness and humour each brings, as we!l as being well written. The first story instantly draws in the reader with three quirky characters, thrust briefly into focus and as quickly dispatched again, but cleverly glimpsed at different moments of time to bring them onto a collision course. Despite their brief presence, all three make a big impact. Readers will be delighted to find literary references peeping out of some chapters, too. Bill Oberst Jr., the narrator of this audiobook, creates his own impact with his excellent performance. He has a pleasant voice and reads with good humoured clarity, allowing the stories to flow seamlessly through him, his own character disappearing behind that of the beings in the book. Each protagonist is individually and appropriately voiced and the whole is a pleasure to hear.
Each chapter of the book, after the initial dedication, is a separate story, so they are easy to find. The titles are:
1) I'll Met by Moonlight
2). Macedonians the Move
3). The Curious Case of the Brian Betty
4) The Sitter Tree
5) All's well that Ends
6) Hunzel Monday
7). No Mans Land
8) Expiation
9) Taba Mori
The individual chapter titles also each have their own dedication, some to folks personal to the author, some more widely known, such as Steven King, Ray Bradbury, and Richard Branson. A daring move by an this adventurous author: but she has successfully delivered the horror wrapped up in laughter and smiles. A pretty amazing achievement.
My thanks to the rights holder of Ill Met by Moonlight, who, at my request, freely gifted me with a complimentary copy, via Audio Empire. Definitely recommended to ease away the tensions of everyday, mundane, life. I had thought it might be fun but it surpassed my expectations.
"Feed me. Feed me now. Now. NOW. Right NOW."
I'll Meet by Moonlight, is a delightfully unexpected pleasure: a book of nine short stories with a continuity of theme: the macadamia trees of a small estate in Hawaii which had been transplanted to the other side of the island by a research company, up to and including their relocating to a new place, an island grouping suitable named No Mans Land. Every story is refreshingly different, from the (almost) conventional private eye investigation - the title story - through to the discovery of what a man's cat really thought about his owner. The reader will be introduced to murderous attacks, the quest for an homeland, the escape and transformation of a killer from jail and even a recipe for Brown Betty, a form of apple pie (although I am unable to verify how good this is as I have not yet cooked it, but if it was good enough to create an ambassador....).
These tales could be construed as horror stories were it not for the delicious naughtiness and humour each brings, as we!l as being well written. The first story instantly draws in the reader with three quirky characters, thrust briefly into focus and as quickly dispatched again, but cleverly glimpsed at different moments of time to bring them onto a collision course. Despite their brief presence, all three make a big impact. Readers will be delighted to find literary references peeping out of some chapters, too. Bill Oberst Jr., the narrator of this audiobook, creates his own impact with his excellent performance. He has a pleasant voice and reads with good humoured clarity, allowing the stories to flow seamlessly through him, his own character disappearing behind that of the beings in the book. Each protagonist is individually and appropriately voiced and the whole is a pleasure to hear.
Each chapter of the book, after the initial dedication, is a separate story, so they are easy to find. The titles are:
1) I'll Met by Moonlight
2). Macedonians the Move
3). The Curious Case of the Brian Betty
4) The Sitter Tree
5) All's well that Ends
6) Hunzel Monday
7). No Mans Land
8) Expiation
9) Taba Mori
The individual chapter titles also each have their own dedication, some to folks personal to the author, some more widely known, such as Steven King, Ray Bradbury, and Richard Branson. A daring move by an this adventurous author: but she has successfully delivered the horror wrapped up in laughter and smiles. A pretty amazing achievement.
My thanks to the rights holder of Ill Met by Moonlight, who, at my request, freely gifted me with a complimentary copy, via Audio Empire. Definitely recommended to ease away the tensions of everyday, mundane, life. I had thought it might be fun but it surpassed my expectations.
October 2, 2022
This is a collection short stories all revolving around macademia trees that can walk and have telepathic powers.
I like to pick up self published books at conventions I go to, and I've found some gems that way. Unfortunately, this was not one of them. The first story got my hopes up as there were some passages I enjoyed, but it didn't last.
Personally, I could get into walking man-eating trees as it feels like a syfy original type movie, but the trees kept getting more abilities as the stories continued. Some details were funny when mentioned off hand but over all kinda of lost my buy in with the telepathic powers.
I wish Rix luck with her future writings.
I like to pick up self published books at conventions I go to, and I've found some gems that way. Unfortunately, this was not one of them. The first story got my hopes up as there were some passages I enjoyed, but it didn't last.
Personally, I could get into walking man-eating trees as it feels like a syfy original type movie, but the trees kept getting more abilities as the stories continued. Some details were funny when mentioned off hand but over all kinda of lost my buy in with the telepathic powers.
I wish Rix luck with her future writings.
November 17, 2023
Short.
The author Gretchen Rix sure can write and have a good impressive imagination on top of it.
Only that her collection of short stories ‘ Twisted Rixter’ already contains some of the stories.
Excellent narration by Bill Oberst Jr. for all of the characters in this creation.
Recommended !!!
Oded Ostfeld.
The author Gretchen Rix sure can write and have a good impressive imagination on top of it.
Only that her collection of short stories ‘ Twisted Rixter’ already contains some of the stories.
Excellent narration by Bill Oberst Jr. for all of the characters in this creation.
Recommended !!!
Oded Ostfeld.
July 19, 2022
This is a collection of comedy horror short stories about walking, people-eating macadamia trees. This was fun and entertaining though not exactly my cup of tea. I bought a physical copy at Greater Austin Comic Con directly from the author. Its short though and did make me laugh. Check it out if you are into comedy horror.
February 4, 2023
I love horror comedy, so I dig walking talking trees...I honestly think this is my first read with mutated macademia tress, so kudos to the author for their brilliant imagination.
August 5, 2017
I was given this story for an honest review. On that note, I'd like to apologize that I wasn't able to finish this batch of short stories. In all honesty, I wasn't a fan at all. I got through the first three stories and, after having not liked any of them thus far, I decided to stop.
I think instead of having written multiple short stories about attacking, human eating, macadamia trees, the author should have condensed them down to a single story. That way there would have been a better flow to the stories and they would have had some meat to them. As they stand, there's just nothing there. There are no real descriptions of the characters besides a lady (Betty) being fat. There was no reason or urge to continue listening because nothing really happened.
I didn't like the authors writing style; instead of experiencing the story alongside the narrator, it was more like listening to someone simply tell a story. Boring. One might imagine these being good stories (this batch was under the Horror label on Audible) to be read at night or something along that line, but no. These were just boring. Like the author and story, I wasn't a fan of the narrator either. There were so many random pauses throughout the part I listened to, it's like he got tired after reading a couple of sentences, stopped recording and then started up again. There were times when he would incorporate these long pauses between words that made no sense. There were many times, when... not sure if this was because there were misspelled words in the stories or because the narrator couldn't read properly...but lots of words were pronounced wrong. For example, instead of saying "amBulance" the narrator pronounced it as "amUlance."
Question for the first story: why would a couple of robbers think a laboratory would have been a good place to rob for money? That made no sense.
Question for the second story: What happened? I swear the story started and like 2 seconds later it was done.
Needless to say, I wouldn't recommend this author, story, or narrator to others. No thanks.
I think instead of having written multiple short stories about attacking, human eating, macadamia trees, the author should have condensed them down to a single story. That way there would have been a better flow to the stories and they would have had some meat to them. As they stand, there's just nothing there. There are no real descriptions of the characters besides a lady (Betty) being fat. There was no reason or urge to continue listening because nothing really happened.
I didn't like the authors writing style; instead of experiencing the story alongside the narrator, it was more like listening to someone simply tell a story. Boring. One might imagine these being good stories (this batch was under the Horror label on Audible) to be read at night or something along that line, but no. These were just boring. Like the author and story, I wasn't a fan of the narrator either. There were so many random pauses throughout the part I listened to, it's like he got tired after reading a couple of sentences, stopped recording and then started up again. There were times when he would incorporate these long pauses between words that made no sense. There were many times, when... not sure if this was because there were misspelled words in the stories or because the narrator couldn't read properly...but lots of words were pronounced wrong. For example, instead of saying "amBulance" the narrator pronounced it as "amUlance."
Question for the first story: why would a couple of robbers think a laboratory would have been a good place to rob for money? That made no sense.
Question for the second story: What happened? I swear the story started and like 2 seconds later it was done.
Needless to say, I wouldn't recommend this author, story, or narrator to others. No thanks.
December 27, 2016
Rather fun collection of walking tree stories.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews