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You Can't Make This Stuff Up: Ridiculously Funny Stories By Real Cops
One of the most popular questions cops get asked is "What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to you on the job?" Well, we set out to gather a few funny stories from across North America and compiled them into this eBook with some stories you will want to read again and again to laugh at and share with your friends.
So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy!
Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.
So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy!
Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.
- GenresHumor
56 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 30, 2016
87 people are currently reading
78 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
May 18, 2017
I selected the book "You Can't Make This Stuff Up" by Elizabeth Shiftwell because it's about funny, true stories by real cops. Cops get dispatched all the time, so I figured they would have the funniest stories about the craziest people. I don't really read funny books often so I wanted to give it a try.
The book is about a ton of different funny situations and scenarios that real cops have witnessed during their jobs. Some stories were about encounters that they've had, or dispatch calls that were not like they expected. They also had funny first day on the job experiences, and experiences that they would never guess could be possible especially after working for years and years.
There were many things that worked with this book. I liked how the stories varied and they were each about something new and funny that you actually cannot make up. It was very real and authentic and that's what ultimately made it so funny. They even had a section in the back of 50 of the most ridiculous things they've found on people while arresting or searching them. They also had little pictures that related to each story and creative titles too. This book has it all. It was such a funny and relaxing read. If you're ever in a bad mood, just simply pick up this book.
The only thing that I did not like about the book was that it was too short. It could have used either more stories or maybe another funny topic like "what actually goes through cops' heads when you do something stupid." I would love to know what cops really think when they see people without common sense all the time. There should definitely be a sequel!
The book is about a ton of different funny situations and scenarios that real cops have witnessed during their jobs. Some stories were about encounters that they've had, or dispatch calls that were not like they expected. They also had funny first day on the job experiences, and experiences that they would never guess could be possible especially after working for years and years.
There were many things that worked with this book. I liked how the stories varied and they were each about something new and funny that you actually cannot make up. It was very real and authentic and that's what ultimately made it so funny. They even had a section in the back of 50 of the most ridiculous things they've found on people while arresting or searching them. They also had little pictures that related to each story and creative titles too. This book has it all. It was such a funny and relaxing read. If you're ever in a bad mood, just simply pick up this book.
The only thing that I did not like about the book was that it was too short. It could have used either more stories or maybe another funny topic like "what actually goes through cops' heads when you do something stupid." I would love to know what cops really think when they see people without common sense all the time. There should definitely be a sequel!
October 30, 2017
So a search for something light and fun in between books was what I was looking for. You know, when you want to keep reading but aren't quite emotionally ready to take on a new set of characters? (A book hangover I believe it's called.) There is even a nice, if not long-winded bit in the beginning about "Humanizing The Badge" (It's this whole movement with hashtags and everything.) Where the stated goal is to make people see cops are just people, like you and me. It's an absolutely noble goal. I just cant say the stories in this book achieved any of that. This is even with me taking into account that I know it's almost required to develop an off the wall sense of humor to get them through the tougher days. (It's safe to say Policemen and Doctors need to) At best there were a few stories that brought a grin. For the most part though I found myself either a little disturbed or completely disgusted. Yes, I am one of those people who hate to hear about animal cruelty. So of course the two stories about tasing animals is not going to sit easy with me. (In one story the officers proceed to pose with the tased animal taking goofy pictures. Isn't Animal Control supposed to take those calls?) Ok, maybe I'm just being a damn snowflake here. I can admit to having a soft spot for the four legged so it's possible I'm overly sensitive about the subject. But then you have several stories where people who are very clearly suffering from some form of mental illness are being mocked! With one in every three adults having some form of mental illness we can't afford to stay ignorant. ESPECIALLY Police officers! This didn't feel like light hearted humor to me but arrogance and ignorance. It's not ok to laugh at the homeless guy who doesn't know enough to know better than to keep a dead frog in a shoebox. That's just sad. And calling a young man who panicked and dialed 9-1-1 a "Dumbass"just seems over the top cruel. Or laughing about someones prosthetic leg...what is that?
This book just fails on several levels and managed to tick me off. I feel like it could be improved with a different tone. And of course some sensitivity. Yes, cops need to search hard to find the humor in some situations but none of the stories seemed to reflect that to me.
This book just fails on several levels and managed to tick me off. I feel like it could be improved with a different tone. And of course some sensitivity. Yes, cops need to search hard to find the humor in some situations but none of the stories seemed to reflect that to me.
May 7, 2018
The general public forgets that police are human too. This book brings forth the lighter side of what our Law Enforcement Officers go through.
I thought that this short story book was hilarious. It took me longer to read than it should have because I could not stop laughing. I literally had to regain my composure to continue reading. So many of these stories were similar to things either I have experience or my fellow officers have encountered.
I know that some people will think this is a ridiculous little book and I imagine if you are NOT law enforcement you won't find these stories funny. In a career of law enforcement we have to find the humor in everything or the negativity would eat away at us. This book made me laugh so hard that I cried at some of the stories. It is true you can't make these things up.
I highly recommend it.
I thought that this short story book was hilarious. It took me longer to read than it should have because I could not stop laughing. I literally had to regain my composure to continue reading. So many of these stories were similar to things either I have experience or my fellow officers have encountered.
I know that some people will think this is a ridiculous little book and I imagine if you are NOT law enforcement you won't find these stories funny. In a career of law enforcement we have to find the humor in everything or the negativity would eat away at us. This book made me laugh so hard that I cried at some of the stories. It is true you can't make these things up.
I highly recommend it.
August 25, 2017
If you need a quick laugh this book might just do it for you! Really makes you wonder about other encounters officers have in a daily basis! Book has not real plot just a series of short story told by officers, I could not tell if there was an order to them other than thrown together but nonetheless it was funny.
November 28, 2017
I didn't laugh once. One story from a female officer was amusing but not laugh worthy. I'm not in the least squeamish but it was mostly bathroom humor, stepping or falling in feces, or finding suspects umm...pleasuring themselves.
June 19, 2024
Some great stories to get a chuckle.
I would have liked a thicker book but this was a great read on short breaks.
My favorite story was Two Cops, One Bucket. A few other stories sounded similar to situations I’ve heard from people or experienced.
I would have liked a thicker book but this was a great read on short breaks.
My favorite story was Two Cops, One Bucket. A few other stories sounded similar to situations I’ve heard from people or experienced.
November 6, 2017
Variety of funny and weird stories from the police. Perfect to read during my breaks st work. Only wish there were more stories in it.
August 28, 2018
Good for a grin
I watch Mike the Cop on YouTube so I had to check out this book. A quick read and a couple of chuckles.
I watch Mike the Cop on YouTube so I had to check out this book. A quick read and a couple of chuckles.
January 5, 2019
It’s a quick read, but not a very exciting read. Most stories are lame. I did die laughing over the milk dud. Guess you’ll have to read it to find out that one.
December 21, 2021
Hilarious!
Great vignettes! They are perfect for lifting one's spirits on a down day. I highly recommend this book. It will keep you smiling.
Great vignettes! They are perfect for lifting one's spirits on a down day. I highly recommend this book. It will keep you smiling.
March 20, 2024
Quick read. Good to humanize people but it just seemed to boil down to " and then bodily fluids". Made other people just seem sad or not the brightest bulb.
March 17, 2017
Laugh out loud book :)
March 16, 2017
Short but Entertaining
It is incredible so of the things "our finest" go through in dealing with the public. It's no wonder they get a bit edgy when they roll up on an incident. Will it be a gun, or a mental case? Or worse, a mental case with a gun.
It is incredible so of the things "our finest" go through in dealing with the public. It's no wonder they get a bit edgy when they roll up on an incident. Will it be a gun, or a mental case? Or worse, a mental case with a gun.
February 5, 2016
This was a short and quick read. It's really a compilation that you can read in an hour. These are funny stories from real law enforcement officers. It really did perk up my mood and had me laughing out loud at some points. The bonus content of stuff found in pockets during the past down still has me laughing. Definitely worth the time!
May 30, 2016
The stories are mostly gross and not real funny, except for a few. However, they go on to show the many very unpleasant things that police officers put up with, for the sake of keeping the people safe. Respect!
August 17, 2016
Cops sure do run into some strange people.
This is a bunch of quick takes written by cops about the interesting people and situations they run into. Great for when you can't sleep but can't keep track of a plot.
This is a bunch of quick takes written by cops about the interesting people and situations they run into. Great for when you can't sleep but can't keep track of a plot.
February 3, 2016
Hilariously funny
It was fun to read about some of the funny situations and experiences cops have.
Love the leg story.
Many situations had me laughing out loud.
It was fun to read about some of the funny situations and experiences cops have.
Love the leg story.
Many situations had me laughing out loud.
February 8, 2016
Great read
We tell stories at work all the time, and this book just confirms that goofy stiff happens to officers nationwide.
We tell stories at work all the time, and this book just confirms that goofy stiff happens to officers nationwide.
March 13, 2016
I die laughing
This was hilarious. Working in the local detention center, I have heard and seen some crazy stuff. I was laughing the whole time while reading this.
This was hilarious. Working in the local detention center, I have heard and seen some crazy stuff. I was laughing the whole time while reading this.
June 4, 2016
Oh my gosh
What a hoot. Things that officers have had to deal with. Funny, gross, weird, and astonishing! Wow, just wow is all I can say....
What a hoot. Things that officers have had to deal with. Funny, gross, weird, and astonishing! Wow, just wow is all I can say....
May 16, 2016
Haha
Some real funny stories, and unless you are in the line of work some would be considered unbelievable. I love hearing stories from my family in blue! Good read!
Some real funny stories, and unless you are in the line of work some would be considered unbelievable. I love hearing stories from my family in blue! Good read!
August 29, 2016
Not that funny, unfortunately.
February 4, 2017
Hilarious
This book was a hilarious quick read. If you are in this profession you have to read it. And be careful if drinking as it will come out of your nose.
This book was a hilarious quick read. If you are in this profession you have to read it. And be careful if drinking as it will come out of your nose.
February 16, 2016
Pretty funny
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews