Ravished By Reagansaurus

by Mandy De Sandra, Leza Cantoral (Editor)

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and their Neocon friends are sick of Obama not protecting America. They have come up with a plan to mix the DNA from the greatest dinosaur, the T-Rex, and from the greatest man, Ronald Reagan, to create a creature so powerful that it can spread freedom and stop ISIS. With the help of 16-year-old dinosaur lover and MIT graduate student Michael Hanley, they perfect the algorithm and create the Reagansaurus.The Reagansaurus is not the American loving animal they imagined. It is a creature obsessed with ejaculating on the weakest and then eating them. The more he cums and the more he eats—the stronger the Reagansaurus becomes. With all of America, except Alaska, covered in dinosemen, President Hillary Clinton and Michael Hanley must find a sexy conservative woman to seduce and stop the Reagansaurus. Is that woman Sarah Palin? You betcha.This is a Bizarro Erotica novella where "Jurassic World" meets "The Spy Who Loved Me" featuring dinosaur bukkake, ball twirling, sucking, and licking, hand job genocide, facial squirting, interracial bukkake gang bang, monster cock worship, and Cowgirl T-Rex cock riding.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction

110 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 18, 2015

Reviews

[Julio Genao]

i know my beloved arthur meant well when he recommended this book to me, but it's legit killin' me the title isn't reganOsaurus.

just killin' me.

but it has the words HANDJOB GENOCIDE in the blurb, so

i am appeased

[Jason Koivu]

Well this sounds plausible.

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Drill baby, drill!"
Sarah Palin

When Project Jurassic Bonzo turns that beloved old Republican fossil Ronald Reagan into a giant, hungry, horny lizard, can the "dream girl of the American right" use her feminine wiles to prevent the Great American Bukkake Apocalypse?



Now that I have heard a Reagan-beast utter the words "Mrs. Sarah Palin, I will tear down your vaginal walls." I can die a happy woman.

[Arthur Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gives a whole new meaning to the term "trickle-down" semenomics.

[Shelby *trains flying monkeys*]

I think Arthur might think I'm a pervert. I kinda am.

[Benoit Lelièvre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, I've enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I'd enjoy a 50 pages satire erotica novelette in my life. Turns out there is meat on the bone (pun half-intended) of this Mandy De Sandra phenomenon. She's hilarious because the object of her satire is the deeply-rooted issues America has faced since the 1980s and illustrates it with crazy, over the top symbolism and allegories. Some passages were difficult on my stomach because I have a low treshold of tolerence for gruesome sex (and if you do too, maybe you should skip it. I'm a crazy person), but it is genuinely funny. Mandy De Sandra is the most exciting thing that happened to liberal arts in the scope of an election since Barack Obama played basketball with Jay Z in 08.

[Pedro Proença · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is fucking awesome. Hot milf Sarah Palin fucking a Reagan/T-Rex hybrid.

This book is HOT. Buy it and read it NOW.

[Will Van Stone Jr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Back in 1990, one Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park introduced the world to the incredible possibilities of DNA – that is, the ability to use it to bring long extinct creatures back to life. The 2015 hit Jurassic World took that a step further – what if we improved upon evolution’s design and made something so amazing, so beyond our own (limited) comprehension that we were suddenly ranked last in the food chain hierarchy? Really, wonderful things to consider but there’s something beyond simple dinosaur DNA mixing, something that even the brilliant mind of the venerable Mr. Crichton himself couldn’t possibly imagine.

Combining man and beast. A truly spine-tingling venture and one none had yet the bravery to explore. But now, thanks to the efforts of one truly remarkable American, we have the opportunity to explore the frightening concept.

Mandy De Sandra has crafted yet another fascinating, and oddly erotic, tale that forces the reader to question the values so many hold; from blind faith in science to absolute adoration of a religious figure, single-mindedness in all its ugliness is explored. When George W. Bush and Dick “Shoot Your Face” Cheney bring in unsuspecting, and naive virgin, Michael Hanley to help them realize their dreamish nightmare of protecting America from the terrorists, they unwittingly release a monstrosity upon this great nation’s people the like of which Yahweh would hide from. The Reagansaurus is borne of the worst parts of the monstrous T-Rex and Ronald Reagan. From the moment of its birth, this terrible creation wrecks havoc by first releasing on its victims then devouring them. It is truly a twenty-first century Frankenstein if Frankenstein was constantly masturbating. Like, non-frikking-stop. Damn. Talk about chaffing.

In the midst of this Jurassic crisis (I know T-Rex is not a Jurassic-age dinosaur so keep the geek-speak to yourself, please), we witness how easily the human mind, such a fragile thing, really, can so easily fall back to ancient beliefs and practices; seen as God’s wrath incarnate, the pitiful humans begin worshipping the Reagansaurus in order to appease their beloved deity whom they fear. Seriously, poop-the-pants fear. And only one woman can save the world: Sarah “Hi Russia!” Palin. She may be a useless twit in the real world but in Mandy De Sandra’s twisted tale, she is a heroic figure willing to give her life, nay, her very vagina, to save humanity from the Reagansaurus’ voracious appetite.

There is no author out there today quite like Ms. De Sandra; she’s smart, funny, sassy and sick in ways even Hannibal Lector would be scared of. She’s already rocked the internet with such harrowing tales as Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick and The Maskerade Ball In DC: Where Masker Men, Become A Real Cinderella...to Men & Women of Power; her star will only continue to rise until she is bigger than even Anne Rice and Stephen King. Combined. BOOM. Now, go pick up your copy.

READ THIS BOOK NOW.

4.5/5

[Justin · Rating 5 out of 5]

holy moley. that's messed up.

[Roberto García · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solo puedo decir que ésta es una historia que, dentro de su bizarrismo, es una mordaz crítica de los tótem del republicanismo americano: desde Reagan hasta Sarah Palin, pasando por Dick Cheney.

Brillante, pero no es una historia para todos los públicos.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

o_O

Is it treason?
Or is it a to-date unexpressed passion for America?

[Rick · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was expecting more from this book based on the blurb and the cover art but it just didn't live up to its potential. There were some silly plot choices that just didn't make sense, even for a bizarro story. There were also too many typos and instances of bad grammar for me to turn a blind eye. I really like the far outside the mainstream story ideas but they don't excuse poor writing and copy editing; I feel like the author either either decided to forgo the additional cost of a copy editor or she made a poor choice of editors since that many mistakes should not have made it into print.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is possibly the best erotic fiction about right wing nut jobs being forced to have sex with genetic mutant dinosaurs I've ever read. I actually laughed out loud at parts of it. If the idea of Sarah Palin fucking a cross between Ronald Reagan and a T-Rex to death is your kind of story, then read this. If not, hell its still damn funny, and weirdly arousing.

Loses a star for the shocking number of spelling and grammatical errors.

[Bettie]

Spotted on Melki's and Charlene's update feeds.
;OD

[Karl Fischer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Much as I appreciated the political satire, the style of writing just wasn't my thing.