Assignment: Hellhole

Spaceways #14

by Andrew J. Offutt, John Cleve (Pseudonym)

RETIRED COP ALANNI KEOR BOUGHT THE FARM...LITERALLY SHE WAS HAPPY FARMING WITH HER PARTNERS-AN OUTIE AND A JARP-UNTIL A POWERFUL POLITICIAN BLACKMALED HER INTO BECOMING AN INTERPLANETARY THIEF. TO STEAL THE MYSTERIOUS ALIEN THING CALLED INVISIBLE WISDOM, SHE HAD TO GO TO HELLHOLE...THE PLANET THAT LIVED UP TO ITS NAME.

Genres: Science Fiction

212 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published November 1, 1983

About the author

Andrew Jefferson Offutt was an American science fiction and fantasy author. He wrote as Andrew J. Offutt, A.J. Offutt, and Andy Offut. His normal byline, andrew j. offutt, had his name in all lower-case letters. His son is the author Chris Offutt.

Offutt began publishing in 1954 with the story And Gone Tomorrow in If. Despite this early sale, he didn't consider his professional life to have begun until he sold the story Blacksword to Galaxy in 1959. His first novel was Evil Is Live Spelled Backwards in 1970.

Offutt published numerous novels and short stories, including many in the Thieves World series edited by Robert Lynn Asprin and Lynn Abbey, which featured his best known character, the thief Hanse, also known as Shadowspawn (and, later, Chance). His Iron Lords series likewise was popular. He also wrote two series of books based on characters by Robert E. Howard, one on Howard's best known character, Conan, and one on a lesser known character, Cormac mac Art.

As an editor Offutt produced a series of five anthologies entitled Swords Against Darkness, which included the first professional sale by Charles de Lint.

Offutt also wrote a large number of pornographic works under twelve different pseudonyms, not all of them identified. Those known include John Cleve, J.X. Williams, and Jeff Douglas. His main works in this area are the science fiction Spaceways series, most of whose volumes were written in collaboration, and the historical Crusader series.

Reviews

[Craig]

The Spaceways series spanned nineteen volumes that were published 1982 - '85, and were the creation of andrew j. offutt, who wrote a lot of works of erotic content under his John Cleve pseudonym. He wrote nine of the books on his own (1-6, 8-9, 19) and ten of them were collaborative, but all nineteen had terrific covers by Ken Barr. The first nine were published by Playboy Books and the rest appeared under the Berkley imprint. This one was written with Robin Kincaid and seems to be the least connected to rest of the series. There was definitely a lot of adult content, more erotic than detailed pornographic, though it must be remembered that standards in the early 1980s were much more oriented towards male dominance. The goal was to tell a space opera style adventure story while paying off and playing off of the sexy covers of the magazines of the '30s and '40s. This fourteenth story introduces new characters and situations involving a blackmailed former cop, now a farmer woman named Alanni Keor, who has to go to planet Hellhole to steal the mysterious Alien Wisdom. Lots of pirates and spies want the same thing, but it never comes together or is explained too well. Overall, the series has a rich interstellar setting filled with nefarious characters, wild schemes, and adventures of all kinds, but this was one of the weakest entries. As always, there's nothing here in the way of literary worth, but it was just intended for fun.

[Will]

I recently listened to a podcast where Chris Offutt detailed the life and work of his late father, Andrew Offutt. Apparently, Andrew Offutt, who was most known to the world as a SF/F author, wrote scores of erotic novels under various pen names. The one he used most often (to the point of treating it like an alter ego) was John Cleve, the author listed on this and all the Spaceways novels. Though I never read erotica, I had only recently discovered Andrew Offutt, so I was curious to see what he could do in the genre he cared most for. When I saw this novel on clearance for fifty cents, I decided to give it a shot.

Well, unfortunately it is just awful. First and foremost, for a "left hand novel", there isn't nearly as much sex as I thought there would be, and the sex scenes that are there are a joke. (For some reason, a penis is referred to as a slicer, which just might be the worst nickname for a cock ever.) On top of a series of really mediocre and not hot at all sex scenes, there is also one scene with a woman being tortured and gang raped. While the author's habit of providing scant detail was mercifully present in this scene as well, I still found myself very uncomfortable reading it.

On the other hand, this book also failed to be an engaging space opera. The main character's quest to recover an ancient artifact from a local cult was never engrossing. What exactly made the artifact so valuable was never explained, yet numerous characters were willing to risk life and limb to get it. I never saw the point. To make matters worse, scenes involving completely tangential characters and situations muddled the narrative.

So, in the end, the two wrongs of poorly written erotica and poorly written sci-fi amalgamate into a blunder of a novel. Highly NOT recommended.

[Otis Campbell]

Andrew J. Offutt brought in another secret typing partner named Robin Kincaid to help hide behind that worn-out "John Cleve" alias. The main gal is a retired space-cop named Alanni Keor. The book says she "bought the farm—literally" and was happy growin' space-corn with her partners, an "Outie" and a "Jarp". But then a crooked politician blackmails her into becomin' an interplanetary cat burglar. It sounds like a plot a bunch of old-timers made up down at the bait shop after one too many swigs of the good stuff. Her big mission is to fly to a planet called Hellhole to steal a mysterious alien artifact called "Invisible Wisdom". For a piece of high-tech cosmic knowledge, nobody in the book seems to know what it actually does, and the characters spend the whole time runnin' around a swampy, miserable rock like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off tryin' to find it. The planet "Hellhole" lives up to its name in the worst way. You'd hope a sci-fi planet would have somethin' neat on it, but Hellhole is just a miserable, boring desert of a setting. The pacing gets stuck in the mud so bad you'll think your tractor threw a rod. Long stretches of the book are just characters complaining about how hot it is, bickerin' over supplies, and actin' a fool. The racy business is completely plumb wore out. Just like the previous thirteen books, any time the actual space-thief plot starts getting interesting, the authors slam on the brakes for pages of trashy, cookie-cutter adult-magazine business. Kincaid and Offutt are just copyin' the same old formulas by this point. It’s got about as much real romantic passion as a rusted-out car frame sittin' in the front yard.