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A Romantic Guide to Handfasting: Rituals, Recipes & Lore
Handfasting is a sacred marriage rite practiced by Pagans, Druids, and Wiccans for centuries. Anna Franklin explores the fascinating origins of this solemn ceremony and provides practical advice and inspiration for planning one's own handfasting celebration.
From choosing wedding garb and rings to selecting a date, this book offers a wealth of ways to infuse one's special day with magick and symbolism. The author discusses the history of common wedding customs; lists gods and goddesses associated with grooms, brides, and marriage; and offers sensible tips related to budget and location. Also included are handfasting themes, sample rituals, flower/herb uses, spells, charms, and recipes for magical incense, oils, and wedding foods.
From choosing wedding garb and rings to selecting a date, this book offers a wealth of ways to infuse one's special day with magick and symbolism. The author discusses the history of common wedding customs; lists gods and goddesses associated with grooms, brides, and marriage; and offers sensible tips related to budget and location. Also included are handfasting themes, sample rituals, flower/herb uses, spells, charms, and recipes for magical incense, oils, and wedding foods.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
January 29, 2017
As some of you who follow me on instagram, youtube, or this blog know Brad and I got engaged at the beginning of December. Neither of us wanted to have a long, drawn out engagement. Winter is my favorite season; Winter is also a convenient season to host a wedding and reduce the cost of a giant party. So, we set a date at the end of this February. I immediately used this speedy engagement as an excuse to purchase some Pagan handfasting books. Today I want to share with you a review of Anna Franklin's A Romantic Guide to Handfasting: Rituals, Recipes & Lore.
In the Christian world marriage is seen as a sacrament. It is a holy rite that demands certain traditions and symbols in order to be recognized by the community and God. Our culture has absorbed many of these traditions and symbols into even the most secular marriages. This can leave those of us who wish to honor our Pagan paths in a bit of a pickle. Where do we find traditions that honor the earth or scripts that do not put pressure on couples to satisfy the demands of child bearing heterosexual couples? A Romantic guide to Handfasting attempts to provide some options for Pagans and couples looking for a more offbeat wedding.
The book begins by discussing some wedding basics. All of these organizing questions are, in my opinion, obvious. Most people know that they either want lots of guests or have their handfasting be a more private event. I also think that most couples already have a general idea of what types of vows they are or aren't comfortable with. This is really only useful to readers who really are starting with no idea what they want.
The next few questions go into more interesting topics. There is a discussion about the way and types of Deities that might be invoked for a handfasting. Details of historical customs and possible themes are also mentioned. I particularly found the pages relating to how time could be invoked for a ritual. Many couples choose to say that their vow is "for this lifetime," "Until we are parted by death," or, even more commonly, "while love shall last." Brad and I have instead opted to avoid a time frame entirely. We have a bit in our vows mentioning that it is in our power to "make and remake" our vows. This is going to be more and more important in a world when divorce is common and families are mixed and varied.
Finally, the book provides examples of rituals and symbols that couples can use in their own rites. Brad and I chose to use of the examples in a part of our handfasting. However, I found that many of these examples didn't quite hit the inspiration button I was hoping for. I enjoyed how simple and approachable the examples were, though.
For readers looking for basic ideas or looking for an introduction into Pagan wedding rituals, they will find A Romantic Guide to Handfasting to be enjoyable. It probably won't satisfy the readers looking to officiate for many different couples and need a meaty reference book. It's handfasting - light not handfasting - all encompassing.
In the Christian world marriage is seen as a sacrament. It is a holy rite that demands certain traditions and symbols in order to be recognized by the community and God. Our culture has absorbed many of these traditions and symbols into even the most secular marriages. This can leave those of us who wish to honor our Pagan paths in a bit of a pickle. Where do we find traditions that honor the earth or scripts that do not put pressure on couples to satisfy the demands of child bearing heterosexual couples? A Romantic guide to Handfasting attempts to provide some options for Pagans and couples looking for a more offbeat wedding.
The book begins by discussing some wedding basics. All of these organizing questions are, in my opinion, obvious. Most people know that they either want lots of guests or have their handfasting be a more private event. I also think that most couples already have a general idea of what types of vows they are or aren't comfortable with. This is really only useful to readers who really are starting with no idea what they want.
The next few questions go into more interesting topics. There is a discussion about the way and types of Deities that might be invoked for a handfasting. Details of historical customs and possible themes are also mentioned. I particularly found the pages relating to how time could be invoked for a ritual. Many couples choose to say that their vow is "for this lifetime," "Until we are parted by death," or, even more commonly, "while love shall last." Brad and I have instead opted to avoid a time frame entirely. We have a bit in our vows mentioning that it is in our power to "make and remake" our vows. This is going to be more and more important in a world when divorce is common and families are mixed and varied.
Finally, the book provides examples of rituals and symbols that couples can use in their own rites. Brad and I chose to use of the examples in a part of our handfasting. However, I found that many of these examples didn't quite hit the inspiration button I was hoping for. I enjoyed how simple and approachable the examples were, though.
For readers looking for basic ideas or looking for an introduction into Pagan wedding rituals, they will find A Romantic Guide to Handfasting to be enjoyable. It probably won't satisfy the readers looking to officiate for many different couples and need a meaty reference book. It's handfasting - light not handfasting - all encompassing.
April 4, 2013
Was looking for information about the actual handfasting part - where the couple binds their hands together, but there was little info on that. Some, but not as much as I hoped. Still, I read through it and got some good ideas. I don't plan on jumping over a broom, but there are some nice suggestions here and there.
January 3, 2022
I am a pagan but I felt this leaned more towards Wiccan beliefs. Still a nice reference for handfasting ideas.
September 1, 2018
I got this for research for my wedding next year. My partner and I had decided on building our own ceremony, but I still wanted to get some info on the handfasting bit, mostly for advice on legalities.
It wasn't bad...wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. There were parts that were helpful, the recipes were nice, and the structure for the Pagan Handfasting was pretty good, though Anna Franklin's Wicca kind of bled through to that example. But I was mostly looking for a structure to work with, so it really doesn't bother me, as much as it would if I were going to just straight up use it.
I had at least three or four issues with the book overall. The book was harmless and helpful in some respects; the recipes were nice, the check list at the beginning was very helpful, and the history was pretty interesting. I also appreciated her section on the commitment aspects of handfasting, and the making of vows and oaths, and the wording that should be considered.
The four issues, however, are as follows;
The color magic section. I just got like, basic descriptions, but no indicator as to why. I primarily practice with color, and I have found many, more thorough help sheets concerning color magic. The chapter explaining it didn’t really help either, it was much too short.
The herb lore was non-existent. There was only the section on plant magic and the Victorian Flower language bit which, though cool, was not what I actually needed. I practice herb lore and plant magic often, so I was really hope for a concise guide on what flowers I may like for my wedding ceremony. She does admit it’s not, like, based in magical purposes, it just for fun, but I borrowed this book for help.
Her descriptions of the ritual space, i.e. how you should set up the space, rubbed me the wrong way. This may just be a personal thing, but being told exactly what crystals and exactly what flower petal I need to spread around my circle, just seemed a little too much, to me anyway. That’s a minor issue though, and it may have been helpful to another person in the end.
No, the thing that really got me, was the section of love goddesses. I am of the Norse persuasion, and the descriptions of Freya and Frigga, was astonishingly lacking. Freya got an entire 2/3 of the page for a descriptor, with her lore and her story, even info on her husband. Frigga got two freakin' sentences! Whaaaaaat? Frigga, the goddess of marriage, the goddess you would want to look at, and study, and work with for this day, gets two sentences. I wouldn't have minded, since this isn't an encyclopedia of the gods, but a handfasting book, but seriously, none of the other goddesses got that much attention either. I worship Freya, but for real, to give that much lip service to one, when all the others get at most, five sentences, seems absurd to me.
Not bad, but not good. I would recommend it to someone who has an idea of where to start, but needs to structure and maybe even some recipes.
It wasn't bad...wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. There were parts that were helpful, the recipes were nice, and the structure for the Pagan Handfasting was pretty good, though Anna Franklin's Wicca kind of bled through to that example. But I was mostly looking for a structure to work with, so it really doesn't bother me, as much as it would if I were going to just straight up use it.
I had at least three or four issues with the book overall. The book was harmless and helpful in some respects; the recipes were nice, the check list at the beginning was very helpful, and the history was pretty interesting. I also appreciated her section on the commitment aspects of handfasting, and the making of vows and oaths, and the wording that should be considered.
The four issues, however, are as follows;
The color magic section. I just got like, basic descriptions, but no indicator as to why. I primarily practice with color, and I have found many, more thorough help sheets concerning color magic. The chapter explaining it didn’t really help either, it was much too short.
The herb lore was non-existent. There was only the section on plant magic and the Victorian Flower language bit which, though cool, was not what I actually needed. I practice herb lore and plant magic often, so I was really hope for a concise guide on what flowers I may like for my wedding ceremony. She does admit it’s not, like, based in magical purposes, it just for fun, but I borrowed this book for help.
Her descriptions of the ritual space, i.e. how you should set up the space, rubbed me the wrong way. This may just be a personal thing, but being told exactly what crystals and exactly what flower petal I need to spread around my circle, just seemed a little too much, to me anyway. That’s a minor issue though, and it may have been helpful to another person in the end.
No, the thing that really got me, was the section of love goddesses. I am of the Norse persuasion, and the descriptions of Freya and Frigga, was astonishingly lacking. Freya got an entire 2/3 of the page for a descriptor, with her lore and her story, even info on her husband. Frigga got two freakin' sentences! Whaaaaaat? Frigga, the goddess of marriage, the goddess you would want to look at, and study, and work with for this day, gets two sentences. I wouldn't have minded, since this isn't an encyclopedia of the gods, but a handfasting book, but seriously, none of the other goddesses got that much attention either. I worship Freya, but for real, to give that much lip service to one, when all the others get at most, five sentences, seems absurd to me.
Not bad, but not good. I would recommend it to someone who has an idea of where to start, but needs to structure and maybe even some recipes.
August 24, 2023
As with most Llewellyn books on pagan customs, this is a lovely reference book with a light overview on a wide variety of European traditions around marriage. Lots of associations provided, and a great central resource for info to jump off from.
I will give brief note that this is the first of any of their books I’ve read that start to give nod to slightly more inclusivity around gender and sexuality (although the whole thing still uses man and woman instead of the more appropriate masculine and feminine). My copy is 2nd printing, 2015.
I’m glad to have this book in my collection now to reference, but also glad I purchased it from ThriftBooks.
I will give brief note that this is the first of any of their books I’ve read that start to give nod to slightly more inclusivity around gender and sexuality (although the whole thing still uses man and woman instead of the more appropriate masculine and feminine). My copy is 2nd printing, 2015.
I’m glad to have this book in my collection now to reference, but also glad I purchased it from ThriftBooks.
May 15, 2018
Wonderful advice
I’m so happy to have read this before my wedding! I’ll be using these and some other ideas in my own wedding this coming year ( 2018) would recommend for anyone else wanting to do a handfasting.
I’m so happy to have read this before my wedding! I’ll be using these and some other ideas in my own wedding this coming year ( 2018) would recommend for anyone else wanting to do a handfasting.
December 25, 2023
This book was very helpful in our wedding planning this year. I’m a big fan of Anna Franklin’s writing, and this did not disappoint. A good reference to stay on my shelf if the time comes to help others plan their weddings.
March 4, 2008
I like Anna Franklin's books. This is a nice combination of customs about weddings and handfastings. Aimed at those who may be planning such a ceremony. Lots of recipes, suggestions, and ways to make the ceremony memorable. A very good resource for a clergy person (which is what I was looking for).
June 7, 2008
This is a small book, but it's got a lot of useful information. There's a little bit of everything you need in order to plan your handfasting/wedding. She provides lots of little ideas that can give you the inspiration to customize your special day to fit you and your partners needs.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews