Even though Ellen was born in Germany, she was raised in New Jersey (insert Jersey joke here). That’s probably why she suffered extreme culture shock when her family moved to South Carolina when she was sixteen.
After all, it's hard to be uprooted from a pretty colonial town, say goodbye to lifelong friends, and be dragged 800 miles south by your parents. Ellen freely admits that the transformation from Jersey Girl to Southern Belle was a rocky one.
But steeped in history, the Lowcountry of South Carolina is the perfect place for a writer to live, because Charleston’s gorgeous historic houses, cobblestone streets, and moss-draped gardens serve as the ultimate “romance laboratory.”
So 40 years later has Ellen acclimated to living here? "Heck yeah, y’all."
I'm not sure what to say about this one. It started off okay (even if overwritten). The protagonist was dumb, but there was plenty of action. Merewyn lives with two doting older brothers on their family estate in Scotland. Life is good...until some English bastard moves into the neighboring castle & starts throwing his weight around. Our young lass makes a Dumb Decision to confront the English Bastard herself...but learns nothing from this error, as she immediately makes yet another Dumb Decision & gets thrown in prison after a false accusation of prostitution. Soon she's tricked into signing indenture papers & hauled away from Glasgow on a slaver ship, thereby receiving horrible treatment from her captors -- culminating in a (genuinely intense) scene of whipping against the mast, which grossly injures the poor nerdy cabin boy & rips her own back to shreds.
Sounds good, right? Well...this is all in the first 100 pages. From there everything goes downhill.
In a civil-minded attempt to win favor with his new Scottish business partners, Merewyn's infamous rival decides to save the day. Not that she didn't need rescuing -- but Merewyn is so indignant to learn her rescuer is that English Jerkoff. She insults the guy like crazy & mopes when his kisses make her ladybits melt. How could she betray her family with feminine feelings?! Meanwhile, the English Jerkoff (whose name already escapes me) has inexplicably decided he won't return this annoying chit until she's learned to humble herself. (Me, now...I'd have dropped her at the nearest port & washed my hands of her shrill Sue'ing.) English Jerkoff's spirit-breaking efforts gradually escalate into forced marriage (though he doesn't actually rape her) & moving her into a rich London townhouse, where he gives her expensive stuff & forbids her to leave. Meanwhile they can't spend five minutes in the same room without degenerating into violent "I HATE SCOTTISH WENCHES/I HATE ENGLISH PEENS" battle-of-the-sexes bickering (which is so damn 21st-c Regency, hence my hating it beyond all reason).
And that, gentle reader, is the entirety of the remaining 300 pages. Tingle from excitement as they discuss how much they hate each other...fifty times over! Revel in Merewyn's refusal to learn the smallest bit of tact! Thrill as English Jerkoff threatens Merewyn into good behavior, tears up her tattered gowns, & spanks her for climbing trees! (Or was it climbing the ship's mast? Whatever. Apparently non-sexual spankings are recommended in the I Want To Bone An Annoying Teenage Heiress handbook.) Gleefully count pages between each oh-so-predictable Big Misunderstanding! Savor each diatribe on Merewyn's ethereal beauty! Take a swig of vodka every time the author reminds her reader that Mereywn has a heart-shaped face with tilted blue eyes & soft golden curls!
(No, seriously...do it. Bribe a couple friends. I bet you'd finish three bottles with very little effort.)
Set roughly in the same period as Aladale, the early pages of this book seemed to want to touch on similar issues re: the displacement of Scottish nobility & the encroaching threat of English power. Oh, hurrah! says I. I'd love to read about that era without the mind-numbing style of that incomprehensible brick. Unfortunately, any & all "deep thoughts" dropped out the window, leaving nothing but a suspicious-looking blood trail, a whiff of wasted potential, & a pile of repetitious insult-building-lurve arguments. If not for the first 100 pages & the couple times our English Jerkoff pretends he's going to choke the heroine, it might have passed for contemp Regency bullshit.
....Have I sworn more than usual in this review? Sorry. I can't help breaking out the colorful metaphors for this one; my feeble optimism was kicked in the balls yet again, & it stings. :P
(N.B.: Merewyn's whipping scars heal without a shred of evidence left behind. Of course they do.)
Oh, goodness. I will always remember this book for being the first historical romance I ever read...and for engraving the phrase "the perfection of her heart-shaped face" so deeply into my mind that the mere sight of the cover brought it back. It also introduced me to the meaning and origin of the term "Sassenach," for which I remain grateful; otherwise, however, I suspect that only nostalgia accounts for any fondness I have for it.
The seventeen-year-old heroine has all the prudence and tranquility of a wet Tasmanian Devil with a particularly acute case of PMS, and the hero has about the same level of emotional maturity (without the excuse of tender years). It's also repetitively written--in addition to the oft-used descriptions of the heroine ("heart-shaped face," et al.), we are informed more than once that a green dress turns the heroine's hair "the color of ripened wheat" (a nicely descriptive phrase, to be sure, but one that loses whatever power it had the second time one runs into it).
Not really recommended, save for rabid fans of Belligerent Sexual Tension, who will find it a bonanza of truly unprecedented abundance.
MY THOUGHTS: I've had this book a little over 1 1/2 years and finally read it. I enjoyed it but not as much as I'd hoped. My favorite part was when William and Elizabeth came up with their plan to ruin Merewyn. William never ended up with her, as planned and Elizabeth never got to be with Ian again.
This novel and Ian definitely fit the criteria for a bodice ripper. Ian is very angry and abusive. Not only did he try to choke Merewyn when they first met but is always threatening to do her harm. He once threatened to box her ears and another time asked her if she was trying to provoke him into murdering her! Say what?! A couple of times he ripped her gown off and even once told an acquaintance that he planned to 'beat her into submission.' Ain't he a keeper?
Merewyn is your typical fiesty heroine, never afraid to mouth off to the hero when necessary. She held her own against him. She was treated badly by him and somehow came to love him in the process. Their love came out of nowhere and wasn't at all believable. But that's OK with me.
It was believed that William murdered the prostitute in Scotland, Nellie Arling, but we never learned of how the authorities discovered that. I guess it's to be assumed he was seen entering the room with her or was seen dumping her dead body.
I can't even believe this book is on here! My friend found it at a thrift store once and we basically read the whole thing. Just a lot of terrible over-description (we get a souped-up ode to her blue eyes every literal three pages)some totally uncalled for fat-hate (everyone who is mildly overweight is HORRIBLE and DISGUSTING) and some casual rape in there, too.
Consent is important, kids.
There are better romance novels to be amusing yourself with!