Not Alone

by Jenny Tomlin

Jenny Tomlin suffered horrendous neglect along with physical and sexual abuse throughout her childhood at the hands of her father. Now a campaigner on behalf of victims of abuse, Jenny is a passionate believer in the absolute necessity of encouraging victims to speak out about their hardships. This belief is brought to fruition in this astonishing collection of narratives that weaves Jenny’s own story of survival with the accounts of many other victims of rape, child abuse, and domestic violence. Powerful and humbling, these are true testimonies of resilience, courage, and sheer determination to find a better future.

Genres: Abuse

256 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 2007

About the author

QUEEN of the misery memoir Jenny Tomlin, mother of actress Martine McCutcheon, is not as tragic as you might imagine.

Upbeat and truly happy in her life now, it's difficult to believe that she was sexually abused by her father, unprotected by her slovenly mother and then married a violent man who battered her senseless even when she was pregnant with Martine.

Her disturbing story was told in her memoirs Behind Closed Doors and Silent Sisters, which became bestsellers, enabling her to buy a 12-acre French farmhouse in the Dordogne with her second husband, Alan Tomlin, a bodyguard she married in Barbados nine years ago.

Then, of course, there's her famous daughter.

You can hear Martine laughing in the background as her mother describes their relationship now.

"She's my best friend. No matter what life throws at her, she has such a positive outlook. She's strong mentally, she's funny, witty, clever. "Because I had her so young [at 19], it's almost like we're mates. I'm so proud of that fact because I never had that with my mother."

At the farm, Jenny, 52, runs an English grocery shop and tea garden, serving up full English breakfasts and afternoon teas to hungry customers. She moved to France to escape the many bad memories, and experience a more tranquil setting.

Reviews

[Cara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked this book, it was an emotional rollercoaster at times, taking us through the author's life from when she was a small child and watching her dad abuse her mum and on occasion her and her sister being the victims of that abuse themselves to then growing up, being a young mum and ultimately going on to be a victim of domestic abuse/violence herself, she has really been honest, with herself and us; the reader.

She also happens to be Martine McCutcheon's mum (those of you who don't know she is a British actress)

There is a real closeness between Jenny and her sister and this comes across in the book, I loved how Jenny managed to portray this close bond over the page to the reader there is no doubt about their relationship.

I loved that even though this woman is the mother of a celebrity she has no air's or grace's she knows who she is and where she came from and she doesn't forget it, even though her life is no longer similar to that of when she was growing up she still remembers the hard times along with the easy ones.

I also liked how although there was a lot of sadness, dysfunction and heartache in Jenny's life and how that is shown in the book it doesn't dwell on it, it could have became a very depressive book about abuse and yet it doesn't.

I recommend to read this book and be uplifted and inspired, this woman shows what it is like to go through hardships in life and come out the other side.

[Gemima · Rating 2 out of 5]

The subject is really important and it does show a lot of different types of survivors of abuse which may be helpful for some people.
I acknowledge that between telling peoples stories, there needs to be a buffer otherwise it can be quite hard hitting with this topic. However, sometimes this is done by relating back to the authors own experience, almost comparing trauma. As it is mainly people the author had known, some of them seem questionable as to if she got consent to talk about their experiences.

[Jade · Rating 2 out of 5]

I understand and appreciate the sentiment behind this book. The mission to give survivors a voice and narrative of empowerment is fine and noble in itself. But there was something uncomfortable and disingenuous about this. I don't recall at any point reading that Tomlin had the permission of the people whose stories she told, especially those that she barely spoke to after hearing these stories. All of them read with the same sort of narrative fingerprint that made it feel like a lot of the stories may have been embellished from memory. I am interested in her previous works written about her own stories but because this reads as disingenuous it doesn't feel empowering, rather a little voyeuristic.

[Carmel Hulse · Rating 1 out of 5]

The subject matter of the book is absolutely appalling but the narrative style is absolute drivel. How this woman expects us to believe she has met all these victims and they've all told her their stories in exactly the same monotone, matter-of-fact style is ludicrous.
I have skipped chunks of the books because it is so unbelievable at points. I feel, and I acknowledge that I could be wrong, that she has met several people who have told the author their history but she has taken those snippets, embellished them and dragged a book out of it. Don't read- it is tedious!

[Jane Woodcock · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed reading this non-fiction book, if that's the right phrase. I mean how can you enjoy reading other peoples' abuse, but it does make you think of, still in this day and age, how many people in all different walks of life are still getting abused!

[Louise Ashdown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a moving book, the courage and strength of all the people who have been abused that have come forward to tell their stories.

[Miss Gucci · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely heartbreaking, emotional, sad & horrific stories told by so many amazing strong people, I have read the book within two days was gripped by every story told people are so cruel and nasty but for every story told there was a light at the end of the tunnel, my heart goes out to every person mentioned in this loving book, you are all true Heroes, a must read and recommended.

[Lucy Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very different.

Sad, heartbreaking and traumatic to all involved very insightful.

💔.

Wish everyone the best of luck 💗.

[Nuraina Akmal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before Not Alone, Jenny Tomlin have written in Behind Closed Doors and Silent Sisters where she told the story about her brutal childhood. She was suffering during her childhood where she was beaten and sexually abused by his father and her mother neglected her from the age of five until 16 where she decided to run away for better life.

Jenny believe it is not only her who faced through the hardship and survived. In Not Alone, she compiled the stories of few people she met who had the almost the same experience with her, which they do not gave up, but fight back and survive to triumph. You will be surprise reading the stories as some cases are like impossible (I never thought this will happen in our society).

Some people kept the stories with them as they feel that it is a shame to share the horrible experience, but it’s actually inspired people who read those stories. We will realize that not only women were abused, but men also abused not by men, but a women!. In addition, abuse is not only about physical but also mental.

Some part of the book almost made my cry and frightened, but the stories grip me and keeping me turning the pages. I would like to recommend this book to any type of readers, as it is not that heavy and easily to be understood. We must have the awareness, there is a possibilities the people around us are being abused or an abuser. Rating: 4/5

[T C Riventyne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished Alone by Jenny Tomlin, and wow — what an emotional ride. This book is heartbreaking, raw, and brutally honest. Jenny’s story of surviving years of abuse at the hands of her parents is incredibly hard to read at times, but it’s told with so much courage that you can’t help but admire her strength.

What really struck me was how vividly she describes the small details — like hiding in her bedroom just to feel a moment of safety, or how even as a child she tried to protect her younger siblings when no one else would. It’s not written in a polished, “literary” way, but that’s actually part of what makes it feel so real and personal — it’s her voice, unfiltered.

There were moments that genuinely broke my heart, especially when she finally escapes but realizes that freedom doesn’t automatically erase the trauma. The part where she goes back to confront her past (no spoilers, but those scenes hit hard) was both painful and empowering.

The only reason I didn’t give it five stars is that the pacing can feel uneven — some sections are a bit repetitive, and I sometimes wished for a little more reflection on how she healed later in life. But overall, Alone is a powerful, gut-wrenching memoir about survival and resilience. Jenny Tomlin deserves every bit of respect for sharing her story.

[Henna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well I wouldn't exactly recommend it to anyone. It's not the best book I've read but maybe I expected it to be alot better than it is. You can't go by what I've said as I didn't finish the book, but maybe someone else who has read it to the end will tell you different. The Beginning isn't great though and it isn't what I expected.

[Kirsty · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't really enjoy this book. I can't understand how a person can know so many people with stories of abuse. And did she have permission to print all of them too?
What annoyed me was how she kept retelling her story. People reading this book would have generally read the other two so they don't need to be told again. I wouldn't recommend this book.

[Zuhal Sultan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Scary

[Vicky Cook]

i thought these peoples stories were told in a compassionate way. it also makes you realise that there has been a lack of support for victims of abuse. it was a good but sad read

[Mariyam Neena · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not really what i expected...