What do you think?
Rate this book
Why Do Fools Fall In Love: A Realist's Guide to Romance
From the first flirtatious text message to dodging insults in divorce court, this cheerful book about the horrors of love explains why the romantic idea of falling in love (and staying in love forever) continues to seduce us, even in the face of all experience. Falling in love is a complicated, messy, mad endeavor―and staying in love is even worse. But while bitter experience and brutal statistics may tell us that it will probably all end in tears, we still continue to believe in and pursue romance, even if it means losing sleep, friends, or our sanity in the process. In this nimble and original exploration of love’s hidden motivations and manifestations, Anouchka Grose tries to get to the heart of its hold over us. This straight-talking, sympathetic book sifts through the combined wisdom of philosophers and poets, scientists and shrinks to offer some serious solutions to the conundrum of love. Guiding us from the first flirtatious text message to dodging insults in divorce court, through swooning, stalking, and swearing undying devotion, this cheerful book about the horrors of love is essential reading for anyone who has ever loved and lost. And then loved all over again.
- GenresNonfiction
304 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
3 people are currently reading
132 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
February 28, 2011
In her "self-help" book, "Why Do Fools Fall In Love: A Realist's Guide to Romance", Anouchka Grose employs wit, charm, and a fairly comical outlook to aid the reader in his/her search for love and romance in our complicated world.
The author implements various theories into her prose, taking history and mythological characters as examples, taking some difficult subject matter and elaborates on them with relative ease. Instead of being verbose, or even condescending, Grose is empathetic and endearing in her humor - goading the reader only for being too expectant of the idea of romance, and being too hard on oneself.
She tackles Freud and his theories, the lives and actions of Greek Gods, mythological entities and their epic quests, and just the general every day human being - and she handles it all with much grace and charm. In a friendly, simple language Grose manages to coax the reader into pondering, "Why is it that we do the things we do, when in love?". She tries to explain the impulses via which we act when feeling the emotion of love, desire, lust etc.
I received this book as part of a "First Reads" program through Goodreads, and although I am not a fan of "self-help" novels - this book absolutely barreled through my automatic aversion to liking it, and I fell quite in love with it. I loved the humor, the sensibility and the general lack of obtuseness for the sake of sounding like an "expert" on the matters of love. This book is a wonderfully simple and charming read, especially if you are trying to understand your actions, or the actions of others, when in love or when in the pursuit of love/romance. I say, read it - it may not make you an expert on love, but it is sure to make you smile.
The author implements various theories into her prose, taking history and mythological characters as examples, taking some difficult subject matter and elaborates on them with relative ease. Instead of being verbose, or even condescending, Grose is empathetic and endearing in her humor - goading the reader only for being too expectant of the idea of romance, and being too hard on oneself.
She tackles Freud and his theories, the lives and actions of Greek Gods, mythological entities and their epic quests, and just the general every day human being - and she handles it all with much grace and charm. In a friendly, simple language Grose manages to coax the reader into pondering, "Why is it that we do the things we do, when in love?". She tries to explain the impulses via which we act when feeling the emotion of love, desire, lust etc.
I received this book as part of a "First Reads" program through Goodreads, and although I am not a fan of "self-help" novels - this book absolutely barreled through my automatic aversion to liking it, and I fell quite in love with it. I loved the humor, the sensibility and the general lack of obtuseness for the sake of sounding like an "expert" on the matters of love. This book is a wonderfully simple and charming read, especially if you are trying to understand your actions, or the actions of others, when in love or when in the pursuit of love/romance. I say, read it - it may not make you an expert on love, but it is sure to make you smile.
February 22, 2011
I very much wanted to give this book 5 stars, as the first few chapters are excellent. It does seem as if she loses steam towards the end, but the book, overall, is a charming, witty exploration of romance and the search for love. Many of her theories make sense, and it's refreshing to see someone not only defend but elaborate on Freud's ground-breaking work.
Most of what I love about the first few chapters is that she takes some fairly complex theories and relates them not only to examples with which the reader may already be familiar, but then breaks down the lessons learned into even simpler steps for, sigh, "self-help," as this book has been categorized. She breaks from this winning formula in the last few chapters, hence why I didn't feel it earned 5 stars, though I can see why she would feel it difficult, if not impossible, to make similar plans when faced with the vacuity of using Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus as her jumping-off point.
Overall, a great book for people who want to understand their own romantic impulses and, perhaps, the impulses of others. Ms Grose doesn't make any claims to helping you understand a particular person, but understanding just the motivations behind why people do what they do is a really helpful start. That said, I did spend a goodly portion of the book being thankful that I am no longer a reactive being, overtly working out my issues with my parents through my relationships with others.
I received this book gratis as part of GoodReads' First Reads program.
Most of what I love about the first few chapters is that she takes some fairly complex theories and relates them not only to examples with which the reader may already be familiar, but then breaks down the lessons learned into even simpler steps for, sigh, "self-help," as this book has been categorized. She breaks from this winning formula in the last few chapters, hence why I didn't feel it earned 5 stars, though I can see why she would feel it difficult, if not impossible, to make similar plans when faced with the vacuity of using Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus as her jumping-off point.
Overall, a great book for people who want to understand their own romantic impulses and, perhaps, the impulses of others. Ms Grose doesn't make any claims to helping you understand a particular person, but understanding just the motivations behind why people do what they do is a really helpful start. That said, I did spend a goodly portion of the book being thankful that I am no longer a reactive being, overtly working out my issues with my parents through my relationships with others.
I received this book gratis as part of GoodReads' First Reads program.
April 9, 2012
Full disclosure: free copy received for review via Goodreads.
A clever book written the inconsistencies and paradoxes of love and life.
Never once does this author point at these inconsistencies or doubts as if they were failings. On the contrary, she shows us how to look in the mirror without being too critical, how to look past the mess and shame to see the intriguing nature of humanity and its endless search for love, and security. It is a bridge between what the clever academics think and that which the laymen do. A middle ground where page by page her writing helps one to make sense of why 'being in love' might not be working and how, buoyed by new learning, we might stoically re-approach this playing field.
A clever book written the inconsistencies and paradoxes of love and life.
Never once does this author point at these inconsistencies or doubts as if they were failings. On the contrary, she shows us how to look in the mirror without being too critical, how to look past the mess and shame to see the intriguing nature of humanity and its endless search for love, and security. It is a bridge between what the clever academics think and that which the laymen do. A middle ground where page by page her writing helps one to make sense of why 'being in love' might not be working and how, buoyed by new learning, we might stoically re-approach this playing field.
April 25, 2011
I won this on GOODREADS and it took forever to get to me in Okinawa, as I had it sent to my family in the USA in order to win it! AH the life of a military spouse.
I am not sure why it's a 'Self-help' but I enjoyed it. I did a lot of agreeing and groaning and laughing. I thought- 'My God, is love really this ridiculous' and yes, it is. And yet, we do everything to attain it, don't we? And then take it for granted, abuse it, get sick of it, worship it, placate it... well... That said, it's a fun and painful little read. Different.
I am not sure why it's a 'Self-help' but I enjoyed it. I did a lot of agreeing and groaning and laughing. I thought- 'My God, is love really this ridiculous' and yes, it is. And yet, we do everything to attain it, don't we? And then take it for granted, abuse it, get sick of it, worship it, placate it... well... That said, it's a fun and painful little read. Different.
April 27, 2013
I wanted to like this book, because the title alone really felt like it would be right up my alley. However, as I got into it, it just didn't flow easily for me, and I found it a bit laborious to read through; I kept losing interest. There were good and interesting segments speckled in the first 100 pages I read, but I decided not to keep reading because the "meh" factor just kept persevering.
July 28, 2011
Thank you goodreads for this selection! I will update my review when I'm done reading! Thanks again!
**UPDATE**
Very interesting theories and explorations on why people tend to fall in love. I really enjoyed it.
**UPDATE**
Very interesting theories and explorations on why people tend to fall in love. I really enjoyed it.
May 6, 2011
I won this on Goodreads (yay!) and really enjoyed it. I do agree with the others who posted that the book slowed down after awhile. The info and insights are great, but after awhile this book started to feel a bit dry.
July 12, 2016
Nice book, a little bit depressing at the beginning but nonetheless very interesting with witty comments.
interesting-possibilities
February 2, 2011Nonfiction "In this nimble and original exploration of love's hidden motivations and manifestations, Anouchka Grose tries to get to the heart of its hold over us."
April 15, 2012
I feel like this book made a whole lot of sense as I was reading it, but the second I put it down I forgot what it was about. It wasn't memorable for me. It was just okay.
September 23, 2011
A funny and realistic look at love. A good cure for a broken heart.
August 14, 2012
Loved this book
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews