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The Five Lessons You Learn After You're Dead

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All of us are teachers in a way and also students, you know? If you look hard enough, just about everybody has a stupid lesson to teach, and nearly all of us has a pointless lesson to learn: that the power of love unites us all, I guess; that you're never alone even when you are; that sacrifice is important for some reason; and, of course, that life's greatest lesson is life itself or something.

Death is only the beginning for Old Joe the candyman. When the 75-year-old warehouse foreman is crushed to death by several improperly stacked crates of McConnell Confections' most saccharine, unfulfilling sweets, he begins the greatest journey of the journey to Heaven from Earth. There, he will meet five people and get one last chance to learn life's dumbest lesson.

The Five Lessons You Learn After You're Dead is a completely original work of inspirational fiction. Any similarity to more popular books--such as Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, or For One More Day--is purely the result of the vapid sentiments upon which they are mutually based.

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The Reviews are in! The critics agree that The Five Lessons You Learn After You're Dead is a book of some kind!

"This book is a rip off from Mitch Albom's 'The Five People You Meet In Heaven'" says the Michigan Journal of Obviousness.

"I won't even bother reading it," says Highly Informed Book Reviews Monthly.

"Nice book arrived in great condition in a timely manner," raves a spambot.

"I've spent a buck on a lot of stupid stuff in the past, and I wouldn't add this book to that list," says someone who paid three bucks for this book.

Read more about what Mitch Albom fans have to say about The Five Lessons You Learn After You're Dead below!!

134 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 8, 2010

67 people are currently reading
103 people want to read

About the author

Chris McElwain

9 books2 followers

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5 stars
58 (35%)
4 stars
37 (22%)
3 stars
41 (25%)
2 stars
14 (8%)
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13 (7%)
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
1 review
January 29, 2019
Reading of Five Lessons after you're dead

I think if you for and if everything that happened to you in your life came back when you die that would be a lot to go through . Your childhood and your adulthood would be very much for the Lord to go thru for all the people in the world that is my feeling. This was a very interesting book to read. I have read it from a kindle and from a book.
Profile Image for Reba.
239 reviews1 follower
November 21, 2019
A waste of time

I can't believe I read this book in it's entirety. I guess I kept expecting it to get decent...it didn't. I started it thinking it may be humorous...it wasn't. And it has really creepy artwork.
9 reviews
April 9, 2024
The Five Lessons Your Learn After You're Dead

This book is similarly patterned to Album's book Five People You Meet in Heaven. But the way it was written has lesser impact on the readers. Though easy to read, but I am clamoring for more in the way how the plot was done.
2 reviews
March 27, 2019
This book was to put it bluntly rather dumb. I love Mitch Albom books & this book was an insult to his book & a waste of my day.
Profile Image for Katie.
135 reviews8 followers
August 15, 2011
Ummm... hmm... This book had so much potential to be funny as hell! It had the right set-up, the "chapters in italics," an old guy that worked for a candy factory... but the lessons he learned in heaven were just the same ol' lessons we hear all the time. Love one another, appreciate what you have... blah, blah, blah. Chris McElwain had the perfect opportunity to be funny and find the dark horses (if you will) from life & find their lessons. We already have the "Five People You Meet in Heaven" from Mitch Albom so I was looking for something a bit different.
4 reviews
June 26, 2011
This book is well written, easy to read, interesting, satiric and light. Expect no eye-opening revelations here, but I found it to be a great book between two books of different genres.
Profile Image for Laurie.
894 reviews5 followers
June 19, 2013
Ho hum. Good thing it was short so I finished it. Just didn't float my boat.
1 review
January 16, 2016
Amusing easy read

Similar to Mitch Albom`s The Five People You Meet In Heaven, which I really enjoyed. Fast read too. Enjoy this book
Profile Image for Gita Sturtevant.
268 reviews7 followers
June 21, 2016
Lighthearted mj

Good for any reason or age. We need more than just this. Lots more to fix a bitter. Sociaty g o Amazon
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews

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