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The Kobayashi Maru of Love
Javier’s post-breakup essays, universal in scope and galactic in magnitude, trace the chronological arc from the lover’s disconnection notice, the final severance, and the getting by- which, depending on one’s predilections, can be the road to ruin or the ultimate fast track to freedom. By turns elegiac riff and breezy romp, these essays are the work of an original mind at play.
- From the introduction by Mookie Katigbak-Lacuesta
- From the introduction by Mookie Katigbak-Lacuesta
- GenresEssaysNonfiction
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First published January 1, 2010
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October 16, 2010
Originally posted here.
You’re better off not having a writer for a lover. At least that’s what advocates of the “Thou Shalt Not Date a Writer” semi-fictitious quasi-movement think. They maintain that because a writer, by definition, writes, a writer with whom you’ve entered an intimate relationship is bound at some point to write about you. Further, they believe that writers possess an inherent tendency for fictionalization. Even those who claim to be ‘memoirists’ or ‘nonfictionists’ tend to fabricate their own realities in their efforts to inject a certain degree of drama or so-called raw humor into their work. Just ask James Frey, who, after a flurry of lawsuits and allegations against him, admitted that he made up some key parts in his account of his rehabilitation from alcohol and drug addiction in his bestselling book, A Million Little Pieces . Or ask David Sedaris, who confessed that he “exaggerates for effect” and famously said, “Memoir is the last place you’d expect to find the truth.”
These claims are all very well when everything between you and your writer-beau is running smoothly; perhaps he’ll write about how it’s all sunshine and rainbows and blossoming bluebells every time you’re together. But just you wait till your relationship hits a particularly rough patch and falls apart altogether; he’ll probably write about how manipulative you can be and how you’re a major obstruction in his creative process. And if you’re especially unlucky, maybe he’ll even cook up a treatise proving you’re a direct descendant of the Lernaean Hydra.
Carljoe Javier is a writer. A woman named Cha made the ostensible mistake of falling in love with him -- and out of it. Proving members of the “Thou Shalt Not Date a Writer” group right with regard to the first part of their argument above, he did write about her, in his new book of essays called The Kobayashi Maru of Love. But proving the same people wrong with regard to the other part of their argument, he did not need to densely fictionalize his experiences with Cha and expose her shortcomings as far as their ill-fated relationship is concerned. Unlike most writers, Carljoe is a true-blue geek, and in Kobayashi Maru, his sort-of-sequel to his first book called And The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth, he is more inclined to infuse his essays with contemporary popular and, far more often, not-so-popular culture references than to sprinkle it with impertinent embellishments. He chooses not to make up a troubled history between him and his ex-girlfriend or draw a family tree that traces her genealogy to a many-headed monster in Greek mythology, although it’s quite clear from his breezy writing that either task is well within his capacity. This is -- dare I say it -- his Eat, Pray, Love , except that it deals with post-breakup misadventure rather than post-divorce hedonism, that it’s told with a voice that’s sincere rather than annoying. Kobayashi Maru is dripping with honesty: undiluted, unpretentious, and occasionally uncomfortable geek honesty.
The geekiness of this book is impossible to miss. Just look at the title: The Kobayashi Maru of Love. Made up of just five words, already it’s a self-contained remark on the complexity of intimate relationships. But the essence of the title (and, by extension, of the book itself) is lost if you’re in the majority of the world’s population who still don’t know their Vulcans from their Romulans. The foreign-sounding phrase in the title comes from the science-fictional universe of Star Trek and pertains to an elaborate simulation used to train Starfleet Academy cadets. During the Kobayashi Maru test, they’re forced to go under extreme pressure of choosing between rescuing the eponymous ship which is rendered inoperative within enemy territory or just leave the ship behind to ensure their own safety. It’s a no-win situation, a puzzle, a game. And to Carljoe, it sounds a lot like love.
In The Kobayashi Maru of Love, Carljoe chronicles his journey from being truly, madly, deeply-doo in love with Cha -- so in love that he was willing to suspend his firm sense of masculinity and accompany her to the spa -- to being lost in the emotional and existential fallout from their breakup -- as evidenced by the second part of the book, which is in fact the result of a week-long exercise in creative nonfiction, a total of seven meditative essays that are also melancholy and at times suggestive of the tearful sentimentality of the recently widowered Rob Sheffield in Love is a Mix Tape -- to being hopeful upon his discovery of an otherwise obvious truth that is as much about life, the universe, and everything as it is solely about himself -- although his ultimate realization comes rather abruptly in the book, a glitch that is less ascribable to the recounting of his epiphany in an essay with not much incident than to the book’s lack of a strong sense of cohesive progression. But throughout the book Carljoe makes certain that the story of his eye-opening trek inside the labyrinth of life and love is told with a mixture of allusive intelligence and self-deprecating humor topped with honesty so unabashed that among his compositions that made the cut is a brief anecdote that appears at first to be a discourse on self-exploration but soon enough turns into a conversation making euphemistic use of the compound term (wink, wink).
Carljoe is a geek, proclaimed as such not only by himself but also by close friends and mere acquaintances alike. Kobayashi Maru is proof of that. Every essay in Kobayashi Maru, most notably the one called "Attribute Point Allocation," where he authoritatively laments the “inverse proportionality between how good we look and how intelligent we are,” is proof of that. I had the pleasure of meeting Carljoe during a meet-up of local book bloggers and independent publishers last month, and this was what I gathered: He’s a geek all right. He showed up looking coolly casual, carrying the sort of scruffiness normally attributed to persons primarily involved in nonsocial pursuits. True to his nerdy persuasion, he was quiet around strangers, i.e, us, but he was more than willing to sign my copy of his new book. In it he embeds the famous blessing that accompanies the equally famous Vulcan salute from Star Trek: “Live long and prosper.” It’s the same blessing I suppose he bestows upon himself from time to time as he goes about his quest not to find an easy way out of the many entanglements of romantic relationships but to fully embrace the intricacy of this thing we like to call love in English, pag-ibig in Filipino, ai in Japanese, and parmaq in Klingon -- this thing that, by any other name, would remain a Kobayashi Maru, a test of character, a beautiful mystery.
You’re better off not having a writer for a lover. At least that’s what advocates of the “Thou Shalt Not Date a Writer” semi-fictitious quasi-movement think. They maintain that because a writer, by definition, writes, a writer with whom you’ve entered an intimate relationship is bound at some point to write about you. Further, they believe that writers possess an inherent tendency for fictionalization. Even those who claim to be ‘memoirists’ or ‘nonfictionists’ tend to fabricate their own realities in their efforts to inject a certain degree of drama or so-called raw humor into their work. Just ask James Frey, who, after a flurry of lawsuits and allegations against him, admitted that he made up some key parts in his account of his rehabilitation from alcohol and drug addiction in his bestselling book, A Million Little Pieces . Or ask David Sedaris, who confessed that he “exaggerates for effect” and famously said, “Memoir is the last place you’d expect to find the truth.”
These claims are all very well when everything between you and your writer-beau is running smoothly; perhaps he’ll write about how it’s all sunshine and rainbows and blossoming bluebells every time you’re together. But just you wait till your relationship hits a particularly rough patch and falls apart altogether; he’ll probably write about how manipulative you can be and how you’re a major obstruction in his creative process. And if you’re especially unlucky, maybe he’ll even cook up a treatise proving you’re a direct descendant of the Lernaean Hydra.
Carljoe Javier is a writer. A woman named Cha made the ostensible mistake of falling in love with him -- and out of it. Proving members of the “Thou Shalt Not Date a Writer” group right with regard to the first part of their argument above, he did write about her, in his new book of essays called The Kobayashi Maru of Love. But proving the same people wrong with regard to the other part of their argument, he did not need to densely fictionalize his experiences with Cha and expose her shortcomings as far as their ill-fated relationship is concerned. Unlike most writers, Carljoe is a true-blue geek, and in Kobayashi Maru, his sort-of-sequel to his first book called And The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth, he is more inclined to infuse his essays with contemporary popular and, far more often, not-so-popular culture references than to sprinkle it with impertinent embellishments. He chooses not to make up a troubled history between him and his ex-girlfriend or draw a family tree that traces her genealogy to a many-headed monster in Greek mythology, although it’s quite clear from his breezy writing that either task is well within his capacity. This is -- dare I say it -- his Eat, Pray, Love , except that it deals with post-breakup misadventure rather than post-divorce hedonism, that it’s told with a voice that’s sincere rather than annoying. Kobayashi Maru is dripping with honesty: undiluted, unpretentious, and occasionally uncomfortable geek honesty.
The geekiness of this book is impossible to miss. Just look at the title: The Kobayashi Maru of Love. Made up of just five words, already it’s a self-contained remark on the complexity of intimate relationships. But the essence of the title (and, by extension, of the book itself) is lost if you’re in the majority of the world’s population who still don’t know their Vulcans from their Romulans. The foreign-sounding phrase in the title comes from the science-fictional universe of Star Trek and pertains to an elaborate simulation used to train Starfleet Academy cadets. During the Kobayashi Maru test, they’re forced to go under extreme pressure of choosing between rescuing the eponymous ship which is rendered inoperative within enemy territory or just leave the ship behind to ensure their own safety. It’s a no-win situation, a puzzle, a game. And to Carljoe, it sounds a lot like love.
In The Kobayashi Maru of Love, Carljoe chronicles his journey from being truly, madly, deeply-doo in love with Cha -- so in love that he was willing to suspend his firm sense of masculinity and accompany her to the spa -- to being lost in the emotional and existential fallout from their breakup -- as evidenced by the second part of the book, which is in fact the result of a week-long exercise in creative nonfiction, a total of seven meditative essays that are also melancholy and at times suggestive of the tearful sentimentality of the recently widowered Rob Sheffield in Love is a Mix Tape -- to being hopeful upon his discovery of an otherwise obvious truth that is as much about life, the universe, and everything as it is solely about himself -- although his ultimate realization comes rather abruptly in the book, a glitch that is less ascribable to the recounting of his epiphany in an essay with not much incident than to the book’s lack of a strong sense of cohesive progression. But throughout the book Carljoe makes certain that the story of his eye-opening trek inside the labyrinth of life and love is told with a mixture of allusive intelligence and self-deprecating humor topped with honesty so unabashed that among his compositions that made the cut is a brief anecdote that appears at first to be a discourse on self-exploration but soon enough turns into a conversation making euphemistic use of the compound term (wink, wink).
Carljoe is a geek, proclaimed as such not only by himself but also by close friends and mere acquaintances alike. Kobayashi Maru is proof of that. Every essay in Kobayashi Maru, most notably the one called "Attribute Point Allocation," where he authoritatively laments the “inverse proportionality between how good we look and how intelligent we are,” is proof of that. I had the pleasure of meeting Carljoe during a meet-up of local book bloggers and independent publishers last month, and this was what I gathered: He’s a geek all right. He showed up looking coolly casual, carrying the sort of scruffiness normally attributed to persons primarily involved in nonsocial pursuits. True to his nerdy persuasion, he was quiet around strangers, i.e, us, but he was more than willing to sign my copy of his new book. In it he embeds the famous blessing that accompanies the equally famous Vulcan salute from Star Trek: “Live long and prosper.” It’s the same blessing I suppose he bestows upon himself from time to time as he goes about his quest not to find an easy way out of the many entanglements of romantic relationships but to fully embrace the intricacy of this thing we like to call love in English, pag-ibig in Filipino, ai in Japanese, and parmaq in Klingon -- this thing that, by any other name, would remain a Kobayashi Maru, a test of character, a beautiful mystery.
August 31, 2012
Oh to be the writer’s (former) other. I suppose the ex (“Cha”) mentioned in this collection of essays understood what she was getting into when she first started dating author Carljoe: she would be written about, turned into a muse and exalted during moments of glory, and destroyed after that final act of departure.
But fear not, “Cha” and friends of “Cha” – she isn’t murdered here. She is alluded to, cried over, pined for (sometimes), but this book, ultimately, isn’t about her. It’s about Carljoe. The object of the (Kobayashi Maru) game is not to malign the girl, but to let her go.
The book is divided into three parts. Part I, two essays written while C and C were still together, was the book that never came to be. Carljoe said in his preface that he originally wanted to write a book about his relationship, but alas, the relationship ended in a break-up. We will not be told what happened exactly, but there are references to “infidelity”.
Part II are seven short essays written (presumably) a week after the break-up. The pain is here. Heavy stuff. But Part III shows Carljoe escaping the shackles and the hurt of that week, trying to pick up girls in bookstores, dancing with metrosexuals, etc.
(Venson Evangelista, a trader burned to death in January, was a high school friend of Carljoe’s and is mentioned in one of the essays. It was rattling, saddening, to see his name.)
It’s a fun read, bright and breezy. This is a self-published book, so it might be hard to find. I bought my copy in Sputnik in Cubao X, but you can go message Carljoe on his FB here to ask how you can buy his book.
But fear not, “Cha” and friends of “Cha” – she isn’t murdered here. She is alluded to, cried over, pined for (sometimes), but this book, ultimately, isn’t about her. It’s about Carljoe. The object of the (Kobayashi Maru) game is not to malign the girl, but to let her go.
The book is divided into three parts. Part I, two essays written while C and C were still together, was the book that never came to be. Carljoe said in his preface that he originally wanted to write a book about his relationship, but alas, the relationship ended in a break-up. We will not be told what happened exactly, but there are references to “infidelity”.
Part II are seven short essays written (presumably) a week after the break-up. The pain is here. Heavy stuff. But Part III shows Carljoe escaping the shackles and the hurt of that week, trying to pick up girls in bookstores, dancing with metrosexuals, etc.
(Venson Evangelista, a trader burned to death in January, was a high school friend of Carljoe’s and is mentioned in one of the essays. It was rattling, saddening, to see his name.)
It’s a fun read, bright and breezy. This is a self-published book, so it might be hard to find. I bought my copy in Sputnik in Cubao X, but you can go message Carljoe on his FB here to ask how you can buy his book.
January 14, 2013
Complete review here
It has to be said: I did not pick this up because the author was my Creative Writing teacher when I was a junior in college and he gave me a high grade in that class. I will admit, though, that I couldn't read the essays without picturing him and comparing how I know him with how he is in this book. Not that they're complete opposites, it's just that I've never witnessed the vulnerability that was so present in the narrative. You know how we always think that teachers are boring, always surrounded by their books and never go out to parties, and Gandalf-wise, knowing the answers to everything. I probably shouldn't have been surprised that I was wrong (because, yeah, they were kids once), but I was still surprised. Maybe its especially true when we're talking about the subject of love.
The essays are divided into three parts. Part 1 was about the pre-break up, Part 2 was the week post-break up, and Part 3 was about dating new people. I suppose that's what drew me in about this book, the fact that it was about a real person that I know, going through stuff that I could relate to. That it was written by a dude and this dude was a geek was another factor since, first, I have no idea how boys think and, second, I think geeks are cool. I don't consider myself a geek, but I know the basics: Star Wars, Star Trek, Marvel, DC, Stargate, Battlestar Gallactica, and the like. So, the references to these in the book as they play a role in how he thought about love was a fascinating application of what would've been an esoteric point of view.
What I really like about this book is how honest and insightful it was. My favorite part was Part 2. It's not because I enjoyed his suffering, okay. It's just that there was so much craft that played into it. Seven essays for each of the days of the week and all in 700 words? Whow. You can read it individually or altogether and its still works. I felt the restraint in how that part was written and it added to the heaviness of the whole section. I could tell, being a sort of writer myself, how hard it was to distance oneself from that event. Part 1, for me, was the funniest. (Choco-pits! Lol.) And Part 3 was the most insightful because it was then that he came into the realization that you have to learn to love yourself first before you can open up and start looking for The One again. I also like the ultimate conclusion of the whole thing, that you cannot beat the Kobayashi Maru of Love but its there to teach you how to handle heartbreak, disappointment etc.
What I didn't like about the book was some of the video game references weren't explained as much as I would've liked in order for me to get what he was saying about them. And I thought the additional bonus material of the 4th edition felt a bit unconnected from the overall atmosphere of the book. Also, the bonus material wasn't as funny-- which, maybe, wasn't the intention in the first place. But still.
It has to be said: I did not pick this up because the author was my Creative Writing teacher when I was a junior in college and he gave me a high grade in that class. I will admit, though, that I couldn't read the essays without picturing him and comparing how I know him with how he is in this book. Not that they're complete opposites, it's just that I've never witnessed the vulnerability that was so present in the narrative. You know how we always think that teachers are boring, always surrounded by their books and never go out to parties, and Gandalf-wise, knowing the answers to everything. I probably shouldn't have been surprised that I was wrong (because, yeah, they were kids once), but I was still surprised. Maybe its especially true when we're talking about the subject of love.
The essays are divided into three parts. Part 1 was about the pre-break up, Part 2 was the week post-break up, and Part 3 was about dating new people. I suppose that's what drew me in about this book, the fact that it was about a real person that I know, going through stuff that I could relate to. That it was written by a dude and this dude was a geek was another factor since, first, I have no idea how boys think and, second, I think geeks are cool. I don't consider myself a geek, but I know the basics: Star Wars, Star Trek, Marvel, DC, Stargate, Battlestar Gallactica, and the like. So, the references to these in the book as they play a role in how he thought about love was a fascinating application of what would've been an esoteric point of view.
What I really like about this book is how honest and insightful it was. My favorite part was Part 2. It's not because I enjoyed his suffering, okay. It's just that there was so much craft that played into it. Seven essays for each of the days of the week and all in 700 words? Whow. You can read it individually or altogether and its still works. I felt the restraint in how that part was written and it added to the heaviness of the whole section. I could tell, being a sort of writer myself, how hard it was to distance oneself from that event. Part 1, for me, was the funniest. (Choco-pits! Lol.) And Part 3 was the most insightful because it was then that he came into the realization that you have to learn to love yourself first before you can open up and start looking for The One again. I also like the ultimate conclusion of the whole thing, that you cannot beat the Kobayashi Maru of Love but its there to teach you how to handle heartbreak, disappointment etc.
What I didn't like about the book was some of the video game references weren't explained as much as I would've liked in order for me to get what he was saying about them. And I thought the additional bonus material of the 4th edition felt a bit unconnected from the overall atmosphere of the book. Also, the bonus material wasn't as funny-- which, maybe, wasn't the intention in the first place. But still.
August 8, 2014
I received this book as a birthday gift. I am terribly unfamiliar with modern titles, more so local ones, so I was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed reading this. I constantly find myself in an entanglement of complicated relationships, so to have read essays written by someone who had gone through the same sort of emotional hellhole-- it was serendipity at its finest. To keep things straight to the point, this book was an unexpectedly good read with some damn honest insight into waiting, searching, and eventually getting by. If you've had a love life or just generally love life, this collection of essays make you undergo a wonderfully painful (or reminiscent; whatever floats your boat) retrospect of past feelings and associations.
October 1, 2013
One of the best collection of essays I've read. Seriously I re-read random essays when I wanted to unwind or if ever I wanted a feel good time. Ang ganda ganda niya po! Huhu!
Alam mo yung the things and thoughts you always think about or wonder about are right there in the pages, well written for you. Nakakaiyak. Nakakatawa. Nakakabaliw. Seriously don't read this alone, in the public, ang hirap hindi tumawa at maiyak, hehe.
And this might sound cheesy but, this book gave me some new insights about love, life, love-life ahhh.
Alam mo yung the things and thoughts you always think about or wonder about are right there in the pages, well written for you. Nakakaiyak. Nakakatawa. Nakakabaliw. Seriously don't read this alone, in the public, ang hirap hindi tumawa at maiyak, hehe.
And this might sound cheesy but, this book gave me some new insights about love, life, love-life ahhh.
October 7, 2010
A geek writing about love is always awesome.
May 28, 2013
Javier's KMoL has sent me to his starship of post-break up. I am used to reading post break up books by female authors but this one has put me in his geek writer shoes.
September 2, 2013
Ah, good ol' geek love.
December 15, 2020
KOBAYASHI MARU OF LOVE by Carljoe Javier. Looking for geeky love story and heartbreaking moments? Come, come , come. This book is for you.
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In this collection of anecdotes, fvlash fictions and essays, Carljoe expertly toured us through the ups and downs of (young) love from the point of view of a geeky man.
.
It felt like listening to Big Bang Theory yang share their love shenanigans in a very Filipino way. My geeky self felt so indulged after reading this book.
.
This book is what you get when you date (and dump) a writer. Haha! Although it was set after a major break up, I didn’t feel bitterness, revenge, or anger in the tone of the writer. It focused more on how he dealt with the aftermath of the breakup, how he tried to regain his composure but failed repeatedly and how in the process he found himself and epiphanies of self-worth. It illustrated more on how lost we feel after the greatest love of our life leaves us and how even if we try to meet up with others, it is naturally difficult to be actually interested and committed again...and that’s okay. This book felt so organic that I so enjoyed every page.
.
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It’s a 5/5-star read! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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#philippineliterature #wikathon #wikathon2020 #kobayashimaru #darkacademiaesthetic #lovestory #selfdiscovery #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #bookstagramph #booklover #bookish #readersofinstagram #booksofinstagram #booksofig #bookphotography
.
In this collection of anecdotes, fvlash fictions and essays, Carljoe expertly toured us through the ups and downs of (young) love from the point of view of a geeky man.
.
It felt like listening to Big Bang Theory yang share their love shenanigans in a very Filipino way. My geeky self felt so indulged after reading this book.
.
This book is what you get when you date (and dump) a writer. Haha! Although it was set after a major break up, I didn’t feel bitterness, revenge, or anger in the tone of the writer. It focused more on how he dealt with the aftermath of the breakup, how he tried to regain his composure but failed repeatedly and how in the process he found himself and epiphanies of self-worth. It illustrated more on how lost we feel after the greatest love of our life leaves us and how even if we try to meet up with others, it is naturally difficult to be actually interested and committed again...and that’s okay. This book felt so organic that I so enjoyed every page.
.
.
It’s a 5/5-star read! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
.
.
#philippineliterature #wikathon #wikathon2020 #kobayashimaru #darkacademiaesthetic #lovestory #selfdiscovery #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #bookstagramph #booklover #bookish #readersofinstagram #booksofinstagram #booksofig #bookphotography
September 6, 2013
I got tickled pink when I first came across the title of this book. I am no Trekkie (Trekker?) but I am an voracious consumer of pop culture and all things geek. So I know that, more or less, this is a book that takes a hackneyed theme like love and treat it with the same passion as geeks do their own fandoms.
Okay so here's the breakdown:
Part I consists of two stories when the author is still with his girlfriend.
Both stories are light hearted and humorous, largely in part because a geek guy thrust into situations that he is not accustomed to (e.g.taken put of his habitat and onto a a SPA jungle), or prodded to use unusual objects (like a chocolate flavored deodorant), hilarity almost always ensue.
Part II chronicles the first week, just right after the breakup, where the heartbreak wound is still fresh. It has 7 essays, with each day of the week as their titles (Sun-Sat).
I was quite surprised by a change of tone in this part. Gone is the lightness and humor of Part I. Instead the 7 essays have this sense of despondency, and loneliness, and a great deal of longing for the girl. The reminiscing of old memories: their DVD-Video Game Saturdays, their old haunts in the mall, their hopes and dreams for a future family. Come Saturday, the 7th day of the break-up, the man still has the rain cloud on top of his head but the rain has let up a bit, at least enough to enjoy Guitar Hero and a carefree night. I appreciated how the 7 essays are written. They are separates pieces really, but has a greater power collectively. I like that the once lovers are enigmatically called "the man" and "the girl" which, as someone in the book points out denotes the disparity in age, and perhaps gives the readers the idea of it being one of the reasons of the relationship's failure. Plus I think it makes the essays much more relatable and real. It is like saying "the man" represents anybody who ever went through a breakup. It could be me, it could be you, it could be anyone.
Part III is still on the post breakup stage, but this time the author starts dating and meeting women. Putting himself out there.
This part reverts back to the fun and happy tone as was in Part I. A few were anecdotal. Stories of picking-up girls in bookstores, of double dates, and set-ups, and going to clubs, and encounters with metrosexuals. The other essays are musings, thoughts and theories regarding dating and relationships, all told using various pop culture/geeky references like RPG video games, X-Men, Star Wars, and Shakespeare. And nothing is more hilarious than when I read stories about fandoms seeping into real life. Or when you use them to explain real life scenarios. I know, because I do that. Haha. But what is great in Part III aside from the wit and the humor, is that you get this sense of earnestness, and honesty, and at times 'cluelessness'. And just an all around adorkableness.
Others Parts:
1.The various pieces written by the author's friends: Introduction, Afterword, etc. They were very enjoyable to read and nothing is more welcome than having your homies pimp your book.
2. KMOL Bonus Stage (contains a few new essays for the 4th edition) - I do love anything that says BONUS. The essays here talks more about family and friends but still very much relationship-related. save for The Permanent Address piece which I thought appeared a bit disjointed from the whole theme.
3. Interview with the Author - I always like books with author interviews because I enjoy reading about the writer's thought process which gave birth to their book. A plus if the interview has some light and fluffy and uncomfortable questions, thrown in.
The Conclusion is where the author walks us through his writing process, explains why the book is structured the way that it is structured, as well as how much he has changed since the breakup, and lastly tells us if he has finally found a way to beat the unbeatable "no-win" test that is the Kobayashi Maru of Love.
His conclusion/answer has a certain world-weariness to it, a sense of resignation, but also, there is a spark of hopefulness. Perhaps it is best summed up in what Mikey said in The Goonies movie: "Goonies Never Say Die!"
One the downside, I still found the incoherent arrangement of the essays a bit disconcerting despite that the author explained the reason behind it. That's my only beef. All in all KMOL is a treat to read. The earnestness and honesty clearly shines through the essays. You can feel it there, even under the jokes and the quips. I do hope non-geeks will not be intimidated by this book. I think it speaks to any human being and not just geeks and fanboys because well, as cliche as this may sound, we all experience love and Carljoe Javier shares us his own experience. And his, is worth reading because he makes us feel like we are blood brothers.
Okay so here's the breakdown:
Part I consists of two stories when the author is still with his girlfriend.
Both stories are light hearted and humorous, largely in part because a geek guy thrust into situations that he is not accustomed to (e.g.taken put of his habitat and onto a a SPA jungle), or prodded to use unusual objects (like a chocolate flavored deodorant), hilarity almost always ensue.
Part II chronicles the first week, just right after the breakup, where the heartbreak wound is still fresh. It has 7 essays, with each day of the week as their titles (Sun-Sat).
I was quite surprised by a change of tone in this part. Gone is the lightness and humor of Part I. Instead the 7 essays have this sense of despondency, and loneliness, and a great deal of longing for the girl. The reminiscing of old memories: their DVD-Video Game Saturdays, their old haunts in the mall, their hopes and dreams for a future family. Come Saturday, the 7th day of the break-up, the man still has the rain cloud on top of his head but the rain has let up a bit, at least enough to enjoy Guitar Hero and a carefree night. I appreciated how the 7 essays are written. They are separates pieces really, but has a greater power collectively. I like that the once lovers are enigmatically called "the man" and "the girl" which, as someone in the book points out denotes the disparity in age, and perhaps gives the readers the idea of it being one of the reasons of the relationship's failure. Plus I think it makes the essays much more relatable and real. It is like saying "the man" represents anybody who ever went through a breakup. It could be me, it could be you, it could be anyone.
Part III is still on the post breakup stage, but this time the author starts dating and meeting women. Putting himself out there.
This part reverts back to the fun and happy tone as was in Part I. A few were anecdotal. Stories of picking-up girls in bookstores, of double dates, and set-ups, and going to clubs, and encounters with metrosexuals. The other essays are musings, thoughts and theories regarding dating and relationships, all told using various pop culture/geeky references like RPG video games, X-Men, Star Wars, and Shakespeare. And nothing is more hilarious than when I read stories about fandoms seeping into real life. Or when you use them to explain real life scenarios. I know, because I do that. Haha. But what is great in Part III aside from the wit and the humor, is that you get this sense of earnestness, and honesty, and at times 'cluelessness'. And just an all around adorkableness.
Others Parts:
1.The various pieces written by the author's friends: Introduction, Afterword, etc. They were very enjoyable to read and nothing is more welcome than having your homies pimp your book.
2. KMOL Bonus Stage (contains a few new essays for the 4th edition) - I do love anything that says BONUS. The essays here talks more about family and friends but still very much relationship-related. save for The Permanent Address piece which I thought appeared a bit disjointed from the whole theme.
3. Interview with the Author - I always like books with author interviews because I enjoy reading about the writer's thought process which gave birth to their book. A plus if the interview has some light and fluffy and uncomfortable questions, thrown in.
The Conclusion is where the author walks us through his writing process, explains why the book is structured the way that it is structured, as well as how much he has changed since the breakup, and lastly tells us if he has finally found a way to beat the unbeatable "no-win" test that is the Kobayashi Maru of Love.
His conclusion/answer has a certain world-weariness to it, a sense of resignation, but also, there is a spark of hopefulness. Perhaps it is best summed up in what Mikey said in The Goonies movie: "Goonies Never Say Die!"
One the downside, I still found the incoherent arrangement of the essays a bit disconcerting despite that the author explained the reason behind it. That's my only beef. All in all KMOL is a treat to read. The earnestness and honesty clearly shines through the essays. You can feel it there, even under the jokes and the quips. I do hope non-geeks will not be intimidated by this book. I think it speaks to any human being and not just geeks and fanboys because well, as cliche as this may sound, we all experience love and Carljoe Javier shares us his own experience. And his, is worth reading because he makes us feel like we are blood brothers.
February 9, 2015
I have never been in a relationship and I am in no way a geek, so for a moment, I thought I wouldn’t be able to relate to this book. However, this book is more than what I have expected for.
I have to admit that the only reason I bought the book is because of its cover and its interesting title. I have mentioned, I am no geek, so I don’t know what Kobayashi Maru is about, but the word “love” in the title gives me an idea that at some point this book would be relatable even for a single person like me.
Surprisingly, even though the articles are centered on post-break up experiences and dating rules that are mainly on the perspective of a man, it is still a helpful material for single girls out there on how to understand boys, geeks or not.
It also doesn’t end here. More than about relationships, the book is also about self-reflection and exploration that can help us to realize the hidden lesson on simple experiences, thus making it more relatable.
I am not sure, but I think the copy that I have secured is the second edition of the original one. It has a lot of introductions from people.
Their introductions have made me create a certain level of expectations towards the content of the book. I thought it was an exaggeration, but after reading the book, the introductions are so apt and sufficient that I couldn’t agree more.
The articles and flash fictions in the book are personal. But even though they are personal they reflect the realities of a relationship and of breakups.
Breakups no matter what their shapes or looks are - are all the same. They are all painful. They impose pain on us in different levels. However, the emotions and feelings in the book are not just rants on how the author suffers. Its creative genuity and humor made every article a beautiful literary pieces.
Moreover, even though it was about breakups and heartbreaks you will not find a trace of bitterness and vengeance. It was more centered on personal realizations on how someone loses himself in the process of loving someone and possible ways on how to cope up with it.
While reading I can’t help but sympathized with the author for what he has gone through. I have felt the emotions in every article that I just want to hug and comfort him. There was even I time when a certain article has left me teary eyed and I have to stop reading to collect myself.
I know there is no way that I could fully understand his situation, but I know and understand something like this is not easy. I am single and young but still the dating world has not given me any consolation of filling the gaps of loneliness that sometimes strike me from time to time.
This book is also a guide or somewhat “dummies for dating geeks” or as the others put it, an encyclopedia for geeks on dating and relationships.
I like how the author admits that there were a lot of clichés used in the book. But it doesn’t make the book less interesting for clichés are true and have been tested.
This book is a gift to all hopeless romantic, to those who still have faith in love and to those geeks and non-geeks out there who are suckers for love.
It is funny but very witty. More than the content, the weaving of the words is excellent. I think for the first time, I have found the book that I won’t get tired of rereading again.
I have to admit that the only reason I bought the book is because of its cover and its interesting title. I have mentioned, I am no geek, so I don’t know what Kobayashi Maru is about, but the word “love” in the title gives me an idea that at some point this book would be relatable even for a single person like me.
Surprisingly, even though the articles are centered on post-break up experiences and dating rules that are mainly on the perspective of a man, it is still a helpful material for single girls out there on how to understand boys, geeks or not.
It also doesn’t end here. More than about relationships, the book is also about self-reflection and exploration that can help us to realize the hidden lesson on simple experiences, thus making it more relatable.
I am not sure, but I think the copy that I have secured is the second edition of the original one. It has a lot of introductions from people.
Their introductions have made me create a certain level of expectations towards the content of the book. I thought it was an exaggeration, but after reading the book, the introductions are so apt and sufficient that I couldn’t agree more.
The articles and flash fictions in the book are personal. But even though they are personal they reflect the realities of a relationship and of breakups.
Breakups no matter what their shapes or looks are - are all the same. They are all painful. They impose pain on us in different levels. However, the emotions and feelings in the book are not just rants on how the author suffers. Its creative genuity and humor made every article a beautiful literary pieces.
Moreover, even though it was about breakups and heartbreaks you will not find a trace of bitterness and vengeance. It was more centered on personal realizations on how someone loses himself in the process of loving someone and possible ways on how to cope up with it.
While reading I can’t help but sympathized with the author for what he has gone through. I have felt the emotions in every article that I just want to hug and comfort him. There was even I time when a certain article has left me teary eyed and I have to stop reading to collect myself.
I know there is no way that I could fully understand his situation, but I know and understand something like this is not easy. I am single and young but still the dating world has not given me any consolation of filling the gaps of loneliness that sometimes strike me from time to time.
This book is also a guide or somewhat “dummies for dating geeks” or as the others put it, an encyclopedia for geeks on dating and relationships.
I like how the author admits that there were a lot of clichés used in the book. But it doesn’t make the book less interesting for clichés are true and have been tested.
This book is a gift to all hopeless romantic, to those who still have faith in love and to those geeks and non-geeks out there who are suckers for love.
It is funny but very witty. More than the content, the weaving of the words is excellent. I think for the first time, I have found the book that I won’t get tired of rereading again.
May 3, 2016
"If only this isn't too geek, I would've have enjoyed it more." -My first thoughts as I was starting the book, just because I couldn't relate to some references on the book. I bought it because of the cover. (because, here we go again, explaining that I judge books by its cover). And also the title was appealing (reading the last part of the book, indeed, the author succeed in getting the attention of non-geek readers). Honestly I thought it was like a Super Mario based story wherein a main character will have to save a princess. I'm not into romance, but the feeling of the cover and the title just set my mood for an adventure like that of a Neverending Story (which I haven't finished yet so don't ask me), or as I was saying a Super Mario like game that is set into the future like some 3000 years forward. But with all that, slowly I find myself enjoying the book. And I was thinking was my geek switched just turned on because suddenly I was able to relate to some things. And I was thinking maybe, if it were not of the age, I could have relate more to what the author was talking about.
But this book didn't just talk about being geek, in fact I realized after finishing the book that it wasn't geek so much as I thought it was in the first few chapters of the book. It also talked about love. "In all its maddening, inscrutable, exquisite permutations: requited, unrequited, elusive, gone missing, left for dead, held hostage, lost, found." As what Dodo Dayao said in the Introduction to the fourth edition. So let's us talk about love, like it's a common topic among men, during inuman sessions, or whenever they have some time to talk about anything. Yeah, because Carljoe just defined love here, well he tried to, just like what everyone else tries to, to understand the understandable. A show off? Nah, I think he's just being human after all, just like everyone else. A human and a geek. (I'm sorry I just can't take that word - geek.)
I think I've got so much to say about this one, but time has been my enemy for quite some time so for now, let us stop here. Because like the book, it takes some time to get into the fourth edition (which is quite confusing for me, is this the fourth edition?) What happened to the first three editions?
But this book didn't just talk about being geek, in fact I realized after finishing the book that it wasn't geek so much as I thought it was in the first few chapters of the book. It also talked about love. "In all its maddening, inscrutable, exquisite permutations: requited, unrequited, elusive, gone missing, left for dead, held hostage, lost, found." As what Dodo Dayao said in the Introduction to the fourth edition. So let's us talk about love, like it's a common topic among men, during inuman sessions, or whenever they have some time to talk about anything. Yeah, because Carljoe just defined love here, well he tried to, just like what everyone else tries to, to understand the understandable. A show off? Nah, I think he's just being human after all, just like everyone else. A human and a geek. (I'm sorry I just can't take that word - geek.)
I think I've got so much to say about this one, but time has been my enemy for quite some time so for now, let us stop here. Because like the book, it takes some time to get into the fourth edition (which is quite confusing for me, is this the fourth edition?) What happened to the first three editions?
January 14, 2013
KMoL is a wonderful gem of a book.
It was such a surprise to find out that what I thought were lighthearted essays were really insightful, relatable, sad feels-filled works by Carljoe Javier.
You can't help but feel for the man who lost, who tried to move on and the one who was ready to dip back in the sea of dating. And a little bit annoyed at the ex. Okay, more than a little annoyed.
The bonus essays were a wonderful addition. Though they seem a bit more disjointed from the whole, ultimately, they are about love. And isn't that the point of it all?
It was such a surprise to find out that what I thought were lighthearted essays were really insightful, relatable, sad feels-filled works by Carljoe Javier.
You can't help but feel for the man who lost, who tried to move on and the one who was ready to dip back in the sea of dating. And a little bit annoyed at the ex. Okay, more than a little annoyed.
The bonus essays were a wonderful addition. Though they seem a bit more disjointed from the whole, ultimately, they are about love. And isn't that the point of it all?
March 26, 2024
Essays written by a man immersed in self-pity. One of his essays is about his feelings of emasculation over buying hygiene products because his girlfriend previously bought them for him. That’s right. He has to rely on his company giving away chocolate-scented deodorant to use deodorant at all.
Another essay is about him complaining about being unable to pick up women in a bookstore. Suffice to say, he’s nothing more than a walking red flag of a man, and allowing him to be a part of the dating pool just sets the bar lower for everyone else.
Another essay is about him complaining about being unable to pick up women in a bookstore. Suffice to say, he’s nothing more than a walking red flag of a man, and allowing him to be a part of the dating pool just sets the bar lower for everyone else.
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September 4, 2014Amazing, funny and I really had fun reading it! I'm happy to know that the ending didn't end with the usual where the guy finds a new girlfriend. The ending is really touching in Carljoe's realization. :)
August 26, 2014
it just tells us to really get a life, especially on the partnof allocating our attributes, just like in an RPG, we must have strengths on thing that we lack in our real lives..
February 24, 2016
Ex's diaries. :D LOL
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