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Girlfighting: Betrayal and Rejection among Girls
Offers a developmental explanation for girlfighting and pathways to build girl allies
For some time, reality TV, talk shows, soap-operas, and sitcoms have turned their spotlights on women and girls who thrive on competition and nastiness. Few fairytales lack the evil stepmother, wicked witch, or jealous sister. Even cartoons feature mean and sassy girls who only become sweet and innocent when adults appear. And recently, popular books and magazines have turned their gaze away from ways of positively influencing girls' independence and self-esteem and towards the topic of girls' meanness to other girls. What does this say about the way our culture views girlhood? How much do these portrayals affect the way girls view themselves?
In Girlfighting , psychologist and educator Lyn Mikel Brown scrutinizes the way our culture nurtures and reinforces this sort of meanness in girls. She argues that the old adage “girls will be girls”―gossipy, competitive, cliquish, backstabbing― and the idea that fighting is part of a developmental stage or a rite-of-passage, are not acceptable explanations. Instead, she asserts, girls are discouraged from expressing strong feelings and are pressured to fulfill unrealistic expectations, to be popular, and struggle to find their way in a society that still reinforces gender stereotypes and places greater value on boys. Under such pressure, in their frustration and anger, girls (often unconsciously) find it less risky to take out their fears and anxieties on other girls instead of challenging the ways boys treat them, the way the media represents them, or the way the culture at large supports sexist practices.
Girlfighting traces the changes in girls' thoughts, actions and feelings from childhood into young adulthood, providing the developmental understanding and theoretical explanation often lacking in other conversations. Through interviews with over 400 girls of diverse racial, economic, and geographic backgrounds, Brown chronicles the labyrinthine journey girls take from direct and outspoken children who like and trust other girls, to distrusting and competitive young women. She argues that this familiar pathway can and should be interrupted and provides ways to move beyond girlfighting to build girl allies and to support coalitions among girls.
By allowing the voices of girls to be heard, Brown demonstrates the complex and often contradictory realities girls face, helping us to better understand and critique the socializing forces in their lives and challenging us to rethink the messages we send them.
For some time, reality TV, talk shows, soap-operas, and sitcoms have turned their spotlights on women and girls who thrive on competition and nastiness. Few fairytales lack the evil stepmother, wicked witch, or jealous sister. Even cartoons feature mean and sassy girls who only become sweet and innocent when adults appear. And recently, popular books and magazines have turned their gaze away from ways of positively influencing girls' independence and self-esteem and towards the topic of girls' meanness to other girls. What does this say about the way our culture views girlhood? How much do these portrayals affect the way girls view themselves?
In Girlfighting , psychologist and educator Lyn Mikel Brown scrutinizes the way our culture nurtures and reinforces this sort of meanness in girls. She argues that the old adage “girls will be girls”―gossipy, competitive, cliquish, backstabbing― and the idea that fighting is part of a developmental stage or a rite-of-passage, are not acceptable explanations. Instead, she asserts, girls are discouraged from expressing strong feelings and are pressured to fulfill unrealistic expectations, to be popular, and struggle to find their way in a society that still reinforces gender stereotypes and places greater value on boys. Under such pressure, in their frustration and anger, girls (often unconsciously) find it less risky to take out their fears and anxieties on other girls instead of challenging the ways boys treat them, the way the media represents them, or the way the culture at large supports sexist practices.
Girlfighting traces the changes in girls' thoughts, actions and feelings from childhood into young adulthood, providing the developmental understanding and theoretical explanation often lacking in other conversations. Through interviews with over 400 girls of diverse racial, economic, and geographic backgrounds, Brown chronicles the labyrinthine journey girls take from direct and outspoken children who like and trust other girls, to distrusting and competitive young women. She argues that this familiar pathway can and should be interrupted and provides ways to move beyond girlfighting to build girl allies and to support coalitions among girls.
By allowing the voices of girls to be heard, Brown demonstrates the complex and often contradictory realities girls face, helping us to better understand and critique the socializing forces in their lives and challenging us to rethink the messages we send them.
- GenresFeminismNonfiction
259 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 2003
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77 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
October 4, 2019
Me tardé muchísimo en acabarlo pero realmente es el libro más claro que he leído sobre el tema. Metodológicamente se parece a Women's inhumanity to Woman, pero, donde el libro de Phyllis Chesler puede resultar un tanto problemático e incluso racista, el punto más fuerte de este libro es justamente su planteamiento interseccional. Además, no sólo se limita a exponer la rivalidad y enemistad entre mujeres, si no que también intenta plantear soluciones y maneras de poner en práctica la sororidad, desde lo personal hasta lo político.
August 21, 2014
The author claims that girls grow up being taught to distrust other women. Indirect aggression or “girlfighting” is complicated. Brown explains how, why it occurs. She describes this type of aggression as contradictory because girls are constantly turning their backs on one another. Brown focuses on culture, media and biological influences. Near the end of the book, there is a chapter containing steps and ideas for individuals, parents, and groups to take to decrease indirect bullying. Some ideas offered are addressing bullying, developing safe spaces for girls, not discriminating in friend choices, developing media literacy, being honest, using your voice, and taking yourself and other women seriously.
March 11, 2016
Girlfighting is not the essential nature of girls. Brown delves deep into analysis of why girls fight and how a white patriarchal capitalist society influences them to use misogynistic tactics on each other. In order to obtain power, girls can't beat out boys, so they beat out other girls. This book is a call to action and gives hope that traditional white femininity doesn't have to be girls' and women's demise.
July 8, 2018
It felt a little dry and redundant, but I appreciated the action steps to support girls in questioning the racist, sexist, classist status quo. Helpful for educators
November 12, 2017
I rate books based on personal enjoyment, and a three is actually a decent rating, considering that I don't have any issue with the content. I just am not big into non-fiction.
Has really great concepts, a good introduction to the issues it brings up. Not ground-breaking, but solid.
Has really great concepts, a good introduction to the issues it brings up. Not ground-breaking, but solid.
May 2, 2009
Looks at the reasons girls often behave so awfully towards one another during their formative years (8-18). Blames the popular press for stripping girls of authentic, multidimensional, and critical voices while forcing them into the "sugar and spice and everything nice" mold. Girls, the book says, are taught to hate themselves and to compete with one another in unhealthy ways due to media exposure.
August 29, 2011
This book's subject interested me, but I found myself skimming through many sections. There was a lot of redundancy and authorial bias. It also has a pretty clear feminist agenda and many times the author uses personal beliefs as fact with no proof to back it up.
January 28, 2008
This book is pissing me off! It seems like each page is barely a variation on the previous page, and the author's bias bleeds into her research. I can't stop reading it.
August 27, 2008
The reading is in progress - so far, so good.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews