Disobedient Bodies: Reclaim Your Unruly Beauty

by Emma Dabiri

An unmissable essay from Emma Dabiri, Sunday Times bestselling author of Don't Touch My Hair and What White People Can Do Next

'A must-read ... Dabiri writes with empowering enthusiasm on alternatives to the way we look at beauty, and encourages us to rebel against current beauty standards' Psychologies

'Powerful' The i, Best New Books to Read in October 2023

For too long, beauty has been entangled in the forces of patriarchy and objectification, shame, control, competition and consumerism. We need to find a way to do beauty differently.

This radical, deeply personal and empowering essay points to ways we can all embrace our unruly beauty and enjoy our magnificent, disobedient bodies.

It accompanies The Cult of Beauty , a major exhibition at Wellcome Collection, opening in October 2023.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Essays, Audiobook, Health, Womens, Irish Literature

132 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 5, 2023

About the author

Emma Dabiri is an Irish-Nigerian author, academic, and broadcaster. Her debut book, Don't Touch My Hair, was first published in 2019.
Dabiri is a frequent contributor to print and online media, including The Guardian, Irish Times, Dublin Inquirer, Vice, and in academic journals. She is known for her outspokenness on issues of race and racism.
She now lives in London, where she is completing her PhD while also teaching and continuing her broadcast work.

Reviews

[Lisa Wynne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disobedient Bodies is a short publication accompanying an exhibition at the Wellcome Collection in London. It reads like a long essay and though it packs a punch, I found it lacked some depth. That being said, I think it would be an excellent introductory read to the topics of consumed beauty, body image, and the patriarchal capitalist gaze, and Dabiri is explicit in naming those who influence her own work and pointing her readers to their publications, both in the text and endnotes. For me the strongest parts of this text are the first two main sections, where Dabiri lays out the social, economic, and cultural contexts for beauty standards and the knock-on effects for women in society. She uses her winning combination of personal anecdote and researched commentary to fluently explore the topic in urgent and compelling ways.
Less successful, I thought, was the latter section, which was composed of many but shallow suggestions of alternative ways to engage with beauty and the body. While I particularly liked her rejection of the “representation”model of expanding beauty standards, by too often making beauty synonymous with (heteronormative) attraction Dabiri missed an opportunity to speak to a more diverse audience, but also underexplored non-sexualised spaces which the body may occupy. I thought particularly of the bathing culture I enjoyed in Japan, a surprisingly social space where one’s body is neither medicalised nor sexualised (communal bathing gets a mention but little explanation).
I would recommend this quick, compact book to anyone interested in beauty, feminism, or countering patriarchy and capitalism. I think it would be a really approachable, valuable read for young women in particular and older teenage girls. I think I just wanted a bigger, deeper book on this topic from such an excellent writer, but this short, specifically commissioned work is certainly of value.

[Sabrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish all women read this sometime in their lives.

[Mquzama · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I would recommend this for anyone even remotely interested in the politics of beauty. It’s essay-length means no matter how little you end up getting from it, you wouldn’t have necessarily wasted your time.*

I would love to claim that it was my interest in the politics of beauty that made me buy this book, but I would be lying. The truth is that I have a blind faith in Emma Dabiri's writing, simple as that.

And I wasn’t wrong! This was an insanely interesting read. Starting by highlighting the contradictory nature of beauty, how it can be reaffirming & butter us with endorphins, but also (esp. for women) throw us into unhealthy & anxiety-ridden behaviour patterns to fit into (ridiculous) beauty standards.

Addressing this conundrum, Dabiri traces its roots in our adoption of Western philosophies that have informed our notions of beauty. Sprinkling examples of how other (pre-colonial) cultures understood this differently, she lays bare Western culture’s:

*Bifurcation of body & mind - Inferiority of the body in this, meant it was viewed as lacking.
*Ocularcentrism (privileging of sight to other senses)- limited beauty to the visual & made this competitive
*Judeo-Christian notions of time- sharp break between life & death vilified dying & hence ageing

These, she argues, are behind our competitive & constant need to improve (& perfect) our bodies. This insecurity is what the beauty industry capitalises on.

Drawing on this & its adverse impacts, Dabiri offers some suggestions on how beauty can be done differently: from looking at it as a verb - focusing on actions & inward beauty; to rekindling the communal dimensions of beauty to blunt its existing competitive nature.

I must admit that there were bits I wish were elaborated on further, especially her illustration of how modern beauty standards were shaped by capitalism & colonialism. Despite this, I always love reading Dabiri 'cause I not only gain knowledge but also learn new ways of knowing altogether, e.g. here she discusses alternative perspectives on beauty, concepts such as ‘iwa’ & ‘iwutonwonsi’ in Tradition Yoruba culture.

Overall, I would recommend this for anyone even remotely interested in the politics of beauty. It’s essay-length means no matter how little you end up getting from it, you wouldn’t have necessarily wasted your time.

More Reviews: https://mquzama.substack.com/

[Niamh Carey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this. Dabiri's voice is as empowering as it is eloquent, encouraging us to ask how we might live (and flourish!) if we viewed ourselves as more than just objects. A fascinating mini-history and examination of the permeation of the beauty myth, exploring what it means to be beautiful not only in a visual sense, but in action, word, and spirit.

[Ross · Rating 4 out of 5]

a challenging, super engaging exploration of the beauty standard and ways in which we can dismantle it

[silly_ebadu · Rating 4 out of 5]

listened to the audio book. really really loved this. giving it 4 stars though cos i wish it was longer😭

[Clara · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick and hopeful read by Emma Dabiri on beauty and empowerment. Dabiri explores beauty as a concept, historically and sociologically, tapping into works of historians, social scientists and her own personal experiences growing up as a black woman in Ireland. Apart from being informative without being overwhelming (more essay than book, and so limited in length), I really enjoyed the author’s witful writing style — made me curious about her other works.

[Arya · Rating 5 out of 5]

good, very good.

[Chloe · Rating 4 out of 5]

What better day than #InternationalWomensDay to review Disobedient Bodies, the latest thought-provoking work from Irish author, academic, and broadcaster Emma Dabiri. I previously loved Don’t Touch My Hair, so I was greatly anticipating reading this; a deeply personal essay focusing on today’s often unattainable beauty standards and how we can rebel against them.

Dabiri describes how we have come to where we are today; the patriarchy and capitalism keeping women strictly trapped in a euro-centric ideal of beauty, and the far-reaching effects this has on “non-conforming” women.

My favourite parts of this book are Dabiri’s anecdotes from her own life, because I always gravitate towards the lived experience of others with these topics and find they have much more of an impact than say, a more serious but equally important research paper. But you know, Dabiri is an academic so there’s lots of the latter in here too.

This is a short but engaging read. If you’re interested in feminism, race, and beauty, and are new to how these topics intersect, then this is a great place to start.

#Bookstagram #IrishBookstagram

[Crystaline John · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was super underwhelming. I kept waiting for the substance to get deeper but it just kept losing a star as I progressed through the book. It isn’t bad, I just expected a lot more. I would probably give it a 2.5 if I could.

[Laura King · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Emma Dabiri's signature combination of critical theory, popular culture, and sense of humour, and these are more great insights in the vein of "Don't Touch My Hair"

[cami Moortgat · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow. simply wow. highly recommend to anyone aspiring to break free from the way society has conditioned us to feel about ourselves, our relationship to beauty, and our relationship to how men perceive this beauty. personally, i want to let it all go. i want to feel beautiful not because of men, but because of who i am and how i choose to love, respect, and adorn my body. Emma Dabiri writes about the systems that have created this competitive and diminishing dynamic of what beauty means and why our culture has such an obsession with “achieving” a standard. Dabiri cross-culturally examines how Western-capitalist societies place so much emphasis on outward appearance and how the standard of beauty for women was constructed with the purpose of serving men. contrastingly, community based/socialist and tribal societies (such as African or Native American tribes) emphasizes beauty as not only for appearance but for the beautiful things our body do and the ways that our bodies allow us to connect with others.

“What might our relationships to ourselves, our bodies, and each other look like under the light of other suns?
One of the most powerful resources that we have in terms of creating meaningful change is through identifying points of solidarity rather than difference - especially for women whom the beauty regime has pitted against each other and bound up in an enduring dynamic of competition and comparison.
How can we all find and cultivate new spaces in order to come together to think creatively and strategically? How can we break out of the capitalist and patriarchal strictures we've inherited? How can we fully realise that other choices exist? That we can reclaim beauty and enjoy our bodies? That this is our birthright?”

[Ramona · Rating 4 out of 5]

The essay started strong and with an interesting premise, focussing on pleasure and pain in relation to beauty and its direct interlink with the capitalist colonial system. Firstly it explores the underlying dynamics that influenced the formation of beauty standards; mostly historic structural developments. Such as the change from the feudalistic system to current division of labours, how beauty became important when you have no access to property and self sufficiency. And she further explores racial body politics and its impact on how we perceive beauty.

The second half feels less strong, but still enjoyable to read. And I appreciate the focus on alternative approaches and perspectives on beauty that deviate from the western one.

This wasn't as innovating as I hoped it would be, but it's still a good reflection on beauty in our current society and did bring up some points I hadn't considered before. I did like that it mixed theory and personal experience well and made a difficult subject easily digestible.

[Cordelia Simmons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just the long essay I needed to read. As I get older, I’ve been struggling more with the patriarchal concept of beauty and how it has been weaponised to foster insecurity and keep us obedient. Yet in today’s society it is extremely difficult to distance ourselves from the ideals that are being pushed on us (especially if you love TikTok). I liked how this book didn’t denounce beauty wholly but instead asks us to reimagine it and reclaim it in a divine way.

[Lew Stanisława · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a free mind, what beautifully written, brilliant essays. Also: thank you for introducing bits and pieces of Yoruba thinking to my life.

[Anouk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beauty is not the space for my salvation <3

[Charo Havermans · Rating 5 out of 5]

The search for other suns :)

[Lore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Goed om nog eens écht in te zien dat (en waarom) het "normaal" is dat je worstelt met je lichaam en dat dit niet jouw fout is. Oh ja, en kapitalisme suckt.

[Helena]

vägagi underwhelming, ma ootasin ja ootasin, et mõnel teemal peatutaks, et jutt läheks sügavamaks, aga ei läinud ega läinud. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Sian Lile-Pastore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Have loved Dabiri's other books but this one about feminism and the body felt a bit too introductory to me. I liked the intersection of race and feminism, the personal stories and quotes from Toni Morrison, and did not like the quotes/references from Naomi Wolf (Ew).
More like a not aimed at me kind of book rather than a not any good book and this could definitely have an audience that would love it.

[eleanor · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
I did like this and it definitely addressed some interesting topics, but felt more a summary of other people's work than anything to contribute further to the discussion and critique of capitalism/systemic pressures/societal norms and their relationship with people and bodies. I think I expected a little more.

[Elise Mckeever · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good modern introductory and comprehensive essay tracing the history of western beauty standards, and the essential thinkers that have come before on the topic are credited and their works referenced. An updated Beauty Myth for the social media and cosmetic surgery age we find ourselves in. Essentially advocates for play and adorning the body, but asks the reader to consider what is adorning and what is hiding. Validates 'girliness' at the same time as rejecting the insane pressures put on our appearances and the idea that to be taken seriously a woman must reject traditionally 'feminine' acts involving make up, clothes jewellery etc. Title makes it sound more self helpy than it is. Started to lose me when it got a bit too 'alternative' towards the end but still got a lot from it and felt beautifully accurate.

[Marina Oliveras · Rating 4 out of 5]

"When we are anxious, alienated and disconnected from our bodies, we can't appreciate the beauty of what they can do."
"[...] there's a desperate need to reimagine beauty."

De nou, quedo encantada amb la manera d'escriure de l'Emma Dabiri. Tot i que se m'ha fet una mica complicat entrar-hi, he acabat totalment immersa. Parla de la bellesa (què és la bellesa?) des d'alguns angles que no coneixia ni havia considerat mai. També parla de sentiments i fins i tot diria que inseguretats que de jove una pensa que és l'única que ho sent. Et fa parar a pensar sobre el nombre d'experiències que compartim totes.

Quedo amb ganes de llegir més llibre de l'autora.

[Cassandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was illuminating and at times tough. It put me into my feelings, and had me thinking a lot about my own ideas of beauty and my body. While I’m grateful to have not grown up in the age of social media, magazines, television, and movies in the 70’s and 80’s certainly had a profound effect on me. Even now it’s amazing how much old thought patterns still manage to rear their ugly head. I appreciate my daughter sharing this book with me. I pray that she and other young women recognize their power and learn to value their minds and their bodies despite all of the f’ed up messages and backward a** thinking that still exists.

[Johanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

"That inclusion is the best solution we can seemingly come up with powerfully illustrates the need for fresh thinking. I don‘t want to fight to be appreciated as an object. I want to transform the world in which objectification is the default. I don‘t believe the solution to making beauty - as it‘s currently understood, as an abstracted, singularly visual, physical quality - less oppressive is merely to diversify those standards, to expand them to include fat, black, brown, short or disabled bodies."

"Do we want to win, or even participate in a system that has positioned and continues to position women in these ways?"

[Lisi · Rating 5 out of 5]

„Disobedient bodies don’t just look a certain way, they act.“

I am deeply moved and feel a strengthening in the ideas that support my understanding of what beauty is. The author manages to not only convey her ideas in a evidence based way, she is also adorable, hilarious, soft, radical and beautiful in her writing.
I wonder what a world that centres beauty similarly could look like when even only the idea of it transports so much enchantment. I can’t wait for it and to bring it into being day by day.

[kayleigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐

"a deeper connection with the land that we live on, I think, is central in reimagining our relationship with beauty as something more holistic"

fantastic read, loved to see re-enchantment as one of the suggestions. 4 stars as I would have liked a little more depth, but great jumping off point for further reflection/intention setting.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bought this book after I went to Emma Dabiri’s ‘The Cult of Beauty’ exhibition at the Wellcome Collection. I really liked how she balances talking about her own experiences and also the role of beauty in different cultures and points in time. OH how I love being a woman

[Apurva Vurity · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved and resonated with this book because of 2 reasons:
1. The regular referencing a pre-colonial era especially going back to Yoruba culture and Celtic Irish culture to give us evidence of the role of colonialism in giving patriarchy the shape it has taken today.
2. Giving us a vision of how complex the idea of beauty, self care and desirability is and how rooted it has been in helping women build community. Reducing it to just vanity or to consumerism in the modern times might be fair but it doesn't explain so much of its history

[yasmin · Rating 5 out of 5]

this one was super eye opening, in that there’s so many other ways to see beauty away from this patriarchal capitalist structure we currently operate under - she explored other cultures and history and practical ways we can start to feel, see, perceive and share beauty every day :)