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Heart Tantrums and Brain Tumors: A Tale of Misogyny, Marriage and Muslim Feminism
When Aisha Sarwari moved to America as a young woman, she set out to create her own identity and story. Born in Uganda, she had never lived in South Asia, yet struggled to reconcile the cultural expectation to be a "good Muslim girl" with her desire for equality and acceptance.
After she met Yasser, a Pakistani law student, they returned to their ancestral country and married. Little did they know that a brain tumor would become a near-lethal third wheel in their relationship. The cancer gnawed at Yasser's personality, provoking aggressive outbursts. Was the illness still the explanation for his violence, or had it become an excuse? Aisha began to see their marriage within a bigger picture--of an oppressive society, and of the tug between feminist principles and personal happiness.
Between Africa, America and Pakistan, Heart Tantrums and Brain Tumors is a unique story of identity and belonging, misogyny and motherhood, patriarchy and partnership. Its searing honesty and political passion reveal one woman's battle to redefine the rules--by fighting for, and sometimes with, the man she loves.
After she met Yasser, a Pakistani law student, they returned to their ancestral country and married. Little did they know that a brain tumor would become a near-lethal third wheel in their relationship. The cancer gnawed at Yasser's personality, provoking aggressive outbursts. Was the illness still the explanation for his violence, or had it become an excuse? Aisha began to see their marriage within a bigger picture--of an oppressive society, and of the tug between feminist principles and personal happiness.
Between Africa, America and Pakistan, Heart Tantrums and Brain Tumors is a unique story of identity and belonging, misogyny and motherhood, patriarchy and partnership. Its searing honesty and political passion reveal one woman's battle to redefine the rules--by fighting for, and sometimes with, the man she loves.
- GenresMemoir
256 pages, Paperback
Published October 1, 2023
5 people are currently reading
98 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
November 4, 2023
Heart Tantrums by Aisha Sarwari is a memoir and it was my first read of #nonfictionnovember.
Aisha was raised in the US and fell in love with a fellow Pakistani student there. Their mutual love for Pakistan was extremely motivating and they end up marrying each other. The married life in Lahore was very different to the upbringing Aisha had earlier in her life. Moreover, a tumor made her life more miserable there.
I can see how deeply hurt she had been throughout her marriage and each page showcases her anger and irritation. But, too much of complaining, especially when she could envision her future with her husband just before her marriage, why didn't she take any action!
The writing was problematic to me as the author kept jumping to and fro in time in her narratives and at times I felt she gave away more before time. The book felt too heavy due to an extremely melancholic ranting over her husband's erratic behaviour and societal pressure. But, as the title suggests, I couldn't find anything feminist, especially against misogyny or marriage. I was confused about her toxicity as she behaved in a certain manner to complain later in the book.
It could be a powerful memoir as it had all the elements and emotions but the sheer lack of representation left it as an one act show of abuse and afterward ranting. I don't know who to blame, the writing or the editing!
Thank you @penguinindia for this review copy.
Aisha was raised in the US and fell in love with a fellow Pakistani student there. Their mutual love for Pakistan was extremely motivating and they end up marrying each other. The married life in Lahore was very different to the upbringing Aisha had earlier in her life. Moreover, a tumor made her life more miserable there.
I can see how deeply hurt she had been throughout her marriage and each page showcases her anger and irritation. But, too much of complaining, especially when she could envision her future with her husband just before her marriage, why didn't she take any action!
The writing was problematic to me as the author kept jumping to and fro in time in her narratives and at times I felt she gave away more before time. The book felt too heavy due to an extremely melancholic ranting over her husband's erratic behaviour and societal pressure. But, as the title suggests, I couldn't find anything feminist, especially against misogyny or marriage. I was confused about her toxicity as she behaved in a certain manner to complain later in the book.
It could be a powerful memoir as it had all the elements and emotions but the sheer lack of representation left it as an one act show of abuse and afterward ranting. I don't know who to blame, the writing or the editing!
Thank you @penguinindia for this review copy.
November 27, 2023
- Book Review: "Heart Tantrums" by Aisha Sarwari - 📚❤️🇵🇰
Sometimes facts are stranger than fiction. And such is the case with Ugandan born Pakistani author Aisha Sarwari's sensational 2023 memoir.
The book touches on numerous themes: living in a hostile Pakistani community as a half-caste, navigating through the nuances of Pakistani society as a virtual outsider, all the while suffering from systemic misogyny and caregiver fatigue for an ailing husband with a personality altering brain tumor.
One simply cannot script a better story than this. But for Aisha, this was neither a Bollywood script nor a distant memory but rather living history.
Speaking of which, students of history will vicariously enjoy the extreme banter (read: borderline harassment) that is faced between Aisha and her husband - Barrister Yasser Latif Hamdani - between their Pakistani Muslim community and the Indian Muslim community over the earth-shattering question of Mahomed Ali Jinnah's creation of Pakistan and whether the very existence of Pakistan itself was warranted or not.
In fact, it is the mutual love for Mr. Jinnah and this existential question of what it means to be a Pakistani that brings Yasser and Aisha together for the first time and serves as the bedrock of the book.
While Aisha herself is the narrator and main protagonist, the one person who really steals the show in the book is Yasser himself, whose character oscillates between lovable Romeo to loathsome Lucifer himself.
There are large sections of the book that are decidedly difficult to read, namely Yasser's abrupt turn to the dark side that greatly impacts Aisha's mental health and well-being, leaving the reader nothing short of feeling apoplectic.
Yet at the same time, it is juxtaposed with Yasser's just as abrupt switch to a comic relief character; a mercurial performance that would make any Pakistani cricket fan proud of their national team's ability to surprise on their day.
At the end of it all, we are left with a book that has something for everybody, with some themes resonating more than others depending on every reader's unique orientation / interests.
The only negative critique I would have is the length of the book, which at times seems to favour verbosity over paucity.
But length notwithstanding, the book does not fail to deliver in any of it's narratives and is a must read for all who want to be privy to an extraordinary story about two star-crossed lovers that is still playing itself out in real time.
As such, the book is fully deserving of full marks (with great distinction).
My rating: 5/5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (with great distinction)
#hearttantrums #aishasarwari #yasserlatifhamdani #books #booklover #bookreviews #pakistan #pakistani #reviews #lovetoread #book #booknerd #booksbooksbooks #bookstagrammer #booknerd #booksbooksbooks #bookcommunity #bookblog #bookobsessed #bookdragon #bookcover #bookblogger #bookphoto #bookgeek #bookme #booknerdigans
Sometimes facts are stranger than fiction. And such is the case with Ugandan born Pakistani author Aisha Sarwari's sensational 2023 memoir.
The book touches on numerous themes: living in a hostile Pakistani community as a half-caste, navigating through the nuances of Pakistani society as a virtual outsider, all the while suffering from systemic misogyny and caregiver fatigue for an ailing husband with a personality altering brain tumor.
One simply cannot script a better story than this. But for Aisha, this was neither a Bollywood script nor a distant memory but rather living history.
Speaking of which, students of history will vicariously enjoy the extreme banter (read: borderline harassment) that is faced between Aisha and her husband - Barrister Yasser Latif Hamdani - between their Pakistani Muslim community and the Indian Muslim community over the earth-shattering question of Mahomed Ali Jinnah's creation of Pakistan and whether the very existence of Pakistan itself was warranted or not.
In fact, it is the mutual love for Mr. Jinnah and this existential question of what it means to be a Pakistani that brings Yasser and Aisha together for the first time and serves as the bedrock of the book.
While Aisha herself is the narrator and main protagonist, the one person who really steals the show in the book is Yasser himself, whose character oscillates between lovable Romeo to loathsome Lucifer himself.
There are large sections of the book that are decidedly difficult to read, namely Yasser's abrupt turn to the dark side that greatly impacts Aisha's mental health and well-being, leaving the reader nothing short of feeling apoplectic.
Yet at the same time, it is juxtaposed with Yasser's just as abrupt switch to a comic relief character; a mercurial performance that would make any Pakistani cricket fan proud of their national team's ability to surprise on their day.
At the end of it all, we are left with a book that has something for everybody, with some themes resonating more than others depending on every reader's unique orientation / interests.
The only negative critique I would have is the length of the book, which at times seems to favour verbosity over paucity.
But length notwithstanding, the book does not fail to deliver in any of it's narratives and is a must read for all who want to be privy to an extraordinary story about two star-crossed lovers that is still playing itself out in real time.
As such, the book is fully deserving of full marks (with great distinction).
My rating: 5/5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (with great distinction)
#hearttantrums #aishasarwari #yasserlatifhamdani #books #booklover #bookreviews #pakistan #pakistani #reviews #lovetoread #book #booknerd #booksbooksbooks #bookstagrammer #booknerd #booksbooksbooks #bookcommunity #bookblog #bookobsessed #bookdragon #bookcover #bookblogger #bookphoto #bookgeek #bookme #booknerdigans
December 5, 2023
When you love someone, you easily forget their bad side, not just sometimes but often and much.
Book - Heart Tantrums by Aisha Sarwari.
Published by @penguinindia
NonFiction / Memoir
Aisha was a media student in college in california. Yaseer was majoring in economics in New Jersey. Their common love for pakistan and constant bullying by the Indians in US brought them together. Later they met in pakistan and got married.
Her memoir follows her conservative upbringing, life after marriage and what happens thereafter.
This book is divided into 3 parts -
The 1st part is about Yaseer's brain tumor and the violence and hurt that he meted out on her because of his strange behaviour caused by the tumour. It was like she was living with two Yaseer's ( loving and violent). Yet she choose to stuck around and took in all the abuse (physical and emotional).
The 2nd parts narrates her upbringing in Uganda. Her relation with her parents. Losing her father at an early age and so on.
In the 3rd part she talks about how after marriage she was burning in an underdeveloped economy(pakistan), her workplace problems, What it was like living with Yaseer and his mom, her seperation fron Yaseer etc.
___
#bookreview
In her Memoir, Aisha Sarwari, takes us through the painful episodes of her life with raw and poignant words. Its about tolerance, pain, loneliness, helplessness, angst and what not. Can you imagine the pain of a girl whos own mother would let others berate her and wouldn't speak for her, who was routinely humiliated. It's not easy to share about one's family, especially one with bad side. But the author is quite honest while painting the bad side. She writes without any filters.
This book is not only about Yaseer's tumour but also about family oppression, caregiver fatigue, immigration woes.
Although i liked the book, the only downside was the length which made me lose interest sometimes. Sometimes it also got depressing for me so i had to put it down for a while. If you like to read Memoirs which highlight marriage problems and misogyny then you can pick this up
Book - Heart Tantrums by Aisha Sarwari.
Published by @penguinindia
NonFiction / Memoir
Aisha was a media student in college in california. Yaseer was majoring in economics in New Jersey. Their common love for pakistan and constant bullying by the Indians in US brought them together. Later they met in pakistan and got married.
Her memoir follows her conservative upbringing, life after marriage and what happens thereafter.
This book is divided into 3 parts -
The 1st part is about Yaseer's brain tumor and the violence and hurt that he meted out on her because of his strange behaviour caused by the tumour. It was like she was living with two Yaseer's ( loving and violent). Yet she choose to stuck around and took in all the abuse (physical and emotional).
The 2nd parts narrates her upbringing in Uganda. Her relation with her parents. Losing her father at an early age and so on.
In the 3rd part she talks about how after marriage she was burning in an underdeveloped economy(pakistan), her workplace problems, What it was like living with Yaseer and his mom, her seperation fron Yaseer etc.
___
#bookreview
In her Memoir, Aisha Sarwari, takes us through the painful episodes of her life with raw and poignant words. Its about tolerance, pain, loneliness, helplessness, angst and what not. Can you imagine the pain of a girl whos own mother would let others berate her and wouldn't speak for her, who was routinely humiliated. It's not easy to share about one's family, especially one with bad side. But the author is quite honest while painting the bad side. She writes without any filters.
This book is not only about Yaseer's tumour but also about family oppression, caregiver fatigue, immigration woes.
Although i liked the book, the only downside was the length which made me lose interest sometimes. Sometimes it also got depressing for me so i had to put it down for a while. If you like to read Memoirs which highlight marriage problems and misogyny then you can pick this up
December 9, 2023
Name : Heart Tantrums
Author : Aisha Sarwari
Genre : Feminist memoir
My 💭 :
First of all, can we all "ooh and aah" at the cover? Isn't it do gorgeous 😍? I had (metaphorically) ran towards this book because of the cover and the beautiful abstraction it portrays. Then I saw that it's a feminist memoir, which was the final nudge for me to get the book.
What do we do if life forces us to fulfill a duty that's literally killing our physical and mental health? Seriously, what do we do? Especially if it's a loved one. People easily vow to care for their loved ones in sickness and in health, but how many of us can actually do so? I have no idea what I will do honestly if I ever face this survival vs duty scenario. But looking at my mother, I think I will let duty win.
I am still 20% in the book. Yes, I am reading it at an extremely slow pace because of the heavy topics this book deals with. Marriage, society ideals, brain tumor ridden violent husband, strong patriarchy, gender discrimination, you name it. I will have sleepless nights if I read it daily at my normal pace. This book needs to be read slowly so that you can absorb its emotions correctly. I was feeling a bit monotonous after a couple of chapters but I hope I get engaged more later on. Honestly, it felt like a book of complaints after sometime. But that's life. Our lives are books of complaints because of the severe hand that deal us time to time.
Whoever is planning to read, I will say this : this book is very raw and heavy. So please take your time and read it slowly. I have paused my reading of this book for the time being because it got a bit heavy for me. Whenever I am in the right headspace, I will restart.
Author : Aisha Sarwari
Genre : Feminist memoir
My 💭 :
First of all, can we all "ooh and aah" at the cover? Isn't it do gorgeous 😍? I had (metaphorically) ran towards this book because of the cover and the beautiful abstraction it portrays. Then I saw that it's a feminist memoir, which was the final nudge for me to get the book.
What do we do if life forces us to fulfill a duty that's literally killing our physical and mental health? Seriously, what do we do? Especially if it's a loved one. People easily vow to care for their loved ones in sickness and in health, but how many of us can actually do so? I have no idea what I will do honestly if I ever face this survival vs duty scenario. But looking at my mother, I think I will let duty win.
I am still 20% in the book. Yes, I am reading it at an extremely slow pace because of the heavy topics this book deals with. Marriage, society ideals, brain tumor ridden violent husband, strong patriarchy, gender discrimination, you name it. I will have sleepless nights if I read it daily at my normal pace. This book needs to be read slowly so that you can absorb its emotions correctly. I was feeling a bit monotonous after a couple of chapters but I hope I get engaged more later on. Honestly, it felt like a book of complaints after sometime. But that's life. Our lives are books of complaints because of the severe hand that deal us time to time.
Whoever is planning to read, I will say this : this book is very raw and heavy. So please take your time and read it slowly. I have paused my reading of this book for the time being because it got a bit heavy for me. Whenever I am in the right headspace, I will restart.
November 2, 2023
It's a heartfelt narrative from a girl who is US educated but married
and trying to fit into a completely different culture in Lahore after marriage.
This book didn't work for me because I was expecting something literary but this narrative is ranting. Aisha Sarwari described her pain, misogynist behaviour in her in-laws but everything felt ranting, 320+ pages of ranting isn't what I was expecting from this book.
While reading, sometimes I feel the author lost her track of narration.
Could have been better if they edited this book, this book would be easily fitted into 200 pages.
I wanted to give it a 2s but since it's true story, a memoir, so I am giving it 3/5
and trying to fit into a completely different culture in Lahore after marriage.
This book didn't work for me because I was expecting something literary but this narrative is ranting. Aisha Sarwari described her pain, misogynist behaviour in her in-laws but everything felt ranting, 320+ pages of ranting isn't what I was expecting from this book.
While reading, sometimes I feel the author lost her track of narration.
Could have been better if they edited this book, this book would be easily fitted into 200 pages.
I wanted to give it a 2s but since it's true story, a memoir, so I am giving it 3/5
April 10, 2024
I had the privilege to attend a book club where Aisha came to present her book and answer our questions. She did so in such an earnest way, I had to give the book another chance and it was worth it.
Here are some notes I took during the book club that I feel shed some light on her writing style.
Sarwari never meant to write a book in the 1st place, it was litterally pulled out of her.
She had reached a point where she had care giver fatigue from supporting her husband with his tumour and she first published texts in The Scroll.in.
It seems to have hit a nerve in many people and she was asked to write a book. She first resisted and said "no, there is no story there".
For her, a good wife must cover up all the bad stuff. But then she had a really persistent editor with whom she had sort of written conversations, half therapy, half writting, where Aisha would tell her about her story. That's how it "unspooled" itself.
The fact the editor was another "brown woman", with a similar experience, made it easier to share, especially when she was torn between the modern and the traditional sides of herself.
Some quotes from Aisha Sarwari:
- "It's very confusing to me where I am today. Being with the person who hurt me".
- "This is a coming out story, in so many ways. There is a you before, and a you after".
- "I think, the thesis of the book, is that misogyny is a tumour"
Here are some notes I took during the book club that I feel shed some light on her writing style.
Sarwari never meant to write a book in the 1st place, it was litterally pulled out of her.
She had reached a point where she had care giver fatigue from supporting her husband with his tumour and she first published texts in The Scroll.in.
It seems to have hit a nerve in many people and she was asked to write a book. She first resisted and said "no, there is no story there".
For her, a good wife must cover up all the bad stuff. But then she had a really persistent editor with whom she had sort of written conversations, half therapy, half writting, where Aisha would tell her about her story. That's how it "unspooled" itself.
The fact the editor was another "brown woman", with a similar experience, made it easier to share, especially when she was torn between the modern and the traditional sides of herself.
Some quotes from Aisha Sarwari:
- "It's very confusing to me where I am today. Being with the person who hurt me".
- "This is a coming out story, in so many ways. There is a you before, and a you after".
- "I think, the thesis of the book, is that misogyny is a tumour"
January 28, 2025
My last review of 2024 is Aisha Sarwari's appropriately-dubbed memoir 'Heart Tantrums' and it did not disappoint!
The book delves into Aisha's sense of displacement which arises from a fractured family unit. Having grown up outside of Pakistan, Aisha struggles with cultural expectations when she comes back to her own country, along with battling her own sense of belonging in a place she desperately wants to call home.
In this deeply personal memoir, Aisha has laid bare the raw and the messy realities of navigating grief, confronting gender-based expectations, and grappling with the complexities of a long-term relationship - so much so that the book leaves a lasting impression. One of my favorite chapters from the book is 'What You Cannot Afford, You Must Return' and suffice to say, this is the one that pulled on my heartstrings the most!
If I had to summarize the book in a sentence, I'd say that 'Heart Tantrums' is a powerful read about the power of self-discovery and resilience.
The book delves into Aisha's sense of displacement which arises from a fractured family unit. Having grown up outside of Pakistan, Aisha struggles with cultural expectations when she comes back to her own country, along with battling her own sense of belonging in a place she desperately wants to call home.
In this deeply personal memoir, Aisha has laid bare the raw and the messy realities of navigating grief, confronting gender-based expectations, and grappling with the complexities of a long-term relationship - so much so that the book leaves a lasting impression. One of my favorite chapters from the book is 'What You Cannot Afford, You Must Return' and suffice to say, this is the one that pulled on my heartstrings the most!
If I had to summarize the book in a sentence, I'd say that 'Heart Tantrums' is a powerful read about the power of self-discovery and resilience.
March 26, 2024
Heart Tantrums: A Feminist's Memoir on Misogyny and Marriage is capable of many things. But the one thing it does is to make us dissect the institution of marriage where compromise, adjustment and alterations affect the nature of love, individuals and the existence of a wholesome compassion.
It has been said that the book is exhaustive and could have been chopped into a book of 200 pages. But, while going through it, I seldom felt that the work is tiring me up since to talk about such a culturally inbuilt oppression, one has to really exhaust the readers. It helped me to feel the very natural kind of claustrophobia Aisha had to go through. If the road isn't smooth, then both the writer and her readers must know what it feels like to bleed through the stone.
A deeply personal memoir has to speak about our own self. Heart Tantrums does justice to the core of personal literature.
It has been said that the book is exhaustive and could have been chopped into a book of 200 pages. But, while going through it, I seldom felt that the work is tiring me up since to talk about such a culturally inbuilt oppression, one has to really exhaust the readers. It helped me to feel the very natural kind of claustrophobia Aisha had to go through. If the road isn't smooth, then both the writer and her readers must know what it feels like to bleed through the stone.
A deeply personal memoir has to speak about our own self. Heart Tantrums does justice to the core of personal literature.
November 4, 2024
People say this book is unputdownable, but I found myself putting it down several times. There’s so much depth here—it needs weeks to digest, ponder, and truly relate to. After all, it’s about generational trauma, and Aisha does it full justice. I kept returning to the story, every time. Heart Tantrums is like staring into the sun: intense, mesmerizing—you can’t look away.
November 20, 2024
Heart Tantrums is an honest, raw look at the challenges women face—whether it's in love, loss, or finding ourselves. Aisha’s story about balancing what society expects from us with what we truly need is so relatable. Her journey of standing up for herself and embracing her own voice is inspiring. This book is a beautiful reminder that women deserve to prioritize their own happiness and strength.
March 12, 2024
I loved this book. I’ve been a victim/survivor advocate for years, and I can think of several survivors I’ve worked with who I wish I could’ve given this book to. Sarwari captures the messy nuances of experiencing abuse, healing from trauma, and the daily struggle of living in a feminist way.
November 12, 2024
Heart tantrums is an emotionally charged and beautifully written memoir. Aisha’s raw vulnerability and strength shine through every page. I found myself deeply moved by her journey of loss, love and resilience . A must read for anyone seeking inspiration and deeper understanding of mental health.
November 20, 2024
Heart Tantrums is an insightful and introspective journey through some of life’s toughest challenges. Aisha’s honesty about her struggles with loss and identity is both inspiring and relatable. The only reason I’m giving it 4.5 stars is because I wanted more insight into her personal triumphs.
January 15, 2024
A searingly honest account of love and family. Aisha Sarwari writes beautifully about determination when it feels as though that’s all that is left.
November 12, 2024
A deeply moving and powerful memoir. Heart Tantrums is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. This book left me inspired.
October 30, 2023
Heart Tantrums is a memoir of Aisha Sarwari’s life, the extreme tumultuous times faced by her, the catastrophic events that unfolded in her life and the manner in which she navigated her way through whatever life threw at her. The book also, in specific, deals with the multitude of issues that Aisha faced in her domestic life and all the abuse that she had to encounter and how she dealt with it all, while being a staunch feminist. With themes such as the experience of living as immigrants, establishing one’s identity, oppression faced in families, systemic misogyny, motherhood, caregiver fatigue, various kinds of grief, etc., Heart Tantrums is an honest and raw memoir, one that really can jolt the emotions of its readers.
Memoirs are easily one of my favorite kinds of non-fiction books to read and Heart Tantrums stands as a testament to what I love about memoirs. It is raw, powerful, moving, disturbing in some aspects and definitely impactful. It deals with extremely heavy themes and to me, it felt like it does it quite delicately as it does not attempt to justify the horrible actions that the author has faced, but rather lay open to the readers what she has faced, with the readers being left to decide what they feel about it. Being a strong, independent woman who is also a feminist and having to deal with a husband who suffered through a life altering and personality altering brain tumour, Aisha’s method of dealing with everything she went through is definitely fierce and awe inspiring. It also helps readers understand the conflict that arises when there’s a clear battle between the principles that you stand so firmly by and all the moments in your life that challenge these very principles. Although a lengthy read, Heart Tantrums has everything which creates an impactful memoir, and is one I definitely think is worth reading.
Memoirs are easily one of my favorite kinds of non-fiction books to read and Heart Tantrums stands as a testament to what I love about memoirs. It is raw, powerful, moving, disturbing in some aspects and definitely impactful. It deals with extremely heavy themes and to me, it felt like it does it quite delicately as it does not attempt to justify the horrible actions that the author has faced, but rather lay open to the readers what she has faced, with the readers being left to decide what they feel about it. Being a strong, independent woman who is also a feminist and having to deal with a husband who suffered through a life altering and personality altering brain tumour, Aisha’s method of dealing with everything she went through is definitely fierce and awe inspiring. It also helps readers understand the conflict that arises when there’s a clear battle between the principles that you stand so firmly by and all the moments in your life that challenge these very principles. Although a lengthy read, Heart Tantrums has everything which creates an impactful memoir, and is one I definitely think is worth reading.
November 4, 2024
Heart Tantrums by Aisha Sarwari is a beautifully written memoir that deeply resonates with anyone who has experienced the complexities of love, loss, and resilience. Aisha’s candid reflections on her personal journey are both touching and empowering. I found myself connecting with her feelings on many levels, particularly her struggles with devotion and the challenges of navigating life’s uncertainties.
The way Aisha articulates her experiences is nothing short of inspiring. Her honesty about mental health and emotional healing opens a vital dialogue that is often overlooked. This book is not just a narrative; it’s an invitation for readers to reflect on their own journeys and find strength in their stories.
I highly recommend Heart Tantrums to anyone seeking inspiration and a deeper understanding of the human experience. Thank you, Aisha, for sharing your story with us!
The way Aisha articulates her experiences is nothing short of inspiring. Her honesty about mental health and emotional healing opens a vital dialogue that is often overlooked. This book is not just a narrative; it’s an invitation for readers to reflect on their own journeys and find strength in their stories.
I highly recommend Heart Tantrums to anyone seeking inspiration and a deeper understanding of the human experience. Thank you, Aisha, for sharing your story with us!
September 30, 2023
“A woman knows very well that, though a wit sends her his poems, praises her judgement, solicits her criticism, and drinks her tea, this by no means signifies that he respects her opinions, admires her understanding, or will refuse, though the rapier is denied him, to run through the body with his pen.”
Heart Tantrums: A Feminist's Memoir of Misogyny and Marriage by Aisha Sarwari is a deeply poignant and raw exploration of one woman's tumultuous journey through life, love, and identity. Sarwari's narrative voice is both large and messy, reflecting the scatter of catastrophic losses she has endured, from the early loss of her father to leaving her family home in East Africa and attempting to adapt to a different culture after marriage.
The book delves into the complexities of Sarwari's marriage, which is further challenged by her husband's personality-altering brain tumor. Throughout her life, Aisha navigates the fine line between being a good woman and a bad woman, determined not to let life's hardships define her. However, the cost of self-respect in the face of mental health chaos is explored in a compelling and often heartbreaking manner.
Sarwari's portrayal of Pakistan as a place of self-exile for a couple deeply committed to their country is both thought-provoking and deeply personal. The book captures their struggles to find belonging, occasionally finding solace in the warmth of parenting and the bonds of friendship.
Heart Tantrums is more than just a memoir; it's a prayer on paper. It follows the journey of an immigrant girl navigating the darkness, addressing themes of grief, hybrid identity, immigration challenges, family oppression, caregiver exhaustion, and the ever-present fear of oblivion. Sarwari's writing is a powerful testament to resilience and the enduring human spirit.
Heart Tantrums: A Feminist's Memoir of Misogyny and Marriage by Aisha Sarwari is a deeply poignant and raw exploration of one woman's tumultuous journey through life, love, and identity. Sarwari's narrative voice is both large and messy, reflecting the scatter of catastrophic losses she has endured, from the early loss of her father to leaving her family home in East Africa and attempting to adapt to a different culture after marriage.
The book delves into the complexities of Sarwari's marriage, which is further challenged by her husband's personality-altering brain tumor. Throughout her life, Aisha navigates the fine line between being a good woman and a bad woman, determined not to let life's hardships define her. However, the cost of self-respect in the face of mental health chaos is explored in a compelling and often heartbreaking manner.
Sarwari's portrayal of Pakistan as a place of self-exile for a couple deeply committed to their country is both thought-provoking and deeply personal. The book captures their struggles to find belonging, occasionally finding solace in the warmth of parenting and the bonds of friendship.
Heart Tantrums is more than just a memoir; it's a prayer on paper. It follows the journey of an immigrant girl navigating the darkness, addressing themes of grief, hybrid identity, immigration challenges, family oppression, caregiver exhaustion, and the ever-present fear of oblivion. Sarwari's writing is a powerful testament to resilience and the enduring human spirit.
October 28, 2023
It's a heartfelt narrative from a girl who is US educated but married
and trying to fit into a completely different culture in Lahore after marriage.
This book didn't work for me because I was expecting something literary but this narrative is ranting. Aisha Sarwari described her pain, misogynist behaviour in her in-laws but everything felt ranting, 320+ pages of ranting isn't what I was expecting from this book.
While reading, I feel the author lost her track of narration.
Could have been better if they edited this book, this book would be easily fitted into 200 pages.
and trying to fit into a completely different culture in Lahore after marriage.
This book didn't work for me because I was expecting something literary but this narrative is ranting. Aisha Sarwari described her pain, misogynist behaviour in her in-laws but everything felt ranting, 320+ pages of ranting isn't what I was expecting from this book.
While reading, I feel the author lost her track of narration.
Could have been better if they edited this book, this book would be easily fitted into 200 pages.
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