Love Warps the Mind a Little

by John Dufresne

The author of Louisiana Power & Light, a New York Times Notable Book, pens a tragicomedy about a divorced, struggling writer who moves in with his girlfriend, who discovers she is dying is from cancer. Reprint.

Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Writing, Marriage, Contemporary, Death, Novels

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

John Dufresne teaches in the Master of Fine Arts Creative Writing program at Florida International University. He is a French-Canadian born in America.

Reviews

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did this book a grave disservice by attempting to read it during the fall semester. This is the type of book that deserves to be read without distraction. Unfortunately, I had to keep putting it down to grade papers and read book club books, so I kept losing the narrative thread. John Dufresne writes beautifully and his book about creative writing, The Lie That Tells a Truth, is one of the best there is. His characters are quirky and real; his writing reflects life as it is truly lived--all the humor, pain, and joy from which daily existence is created. However, having said that, it was at times a little too real with too much description of the minutiae of that same daily existence. I enjoyed the main character, Laf. While flawed and at times careless with the emotions of those who love him, he is a very likable character who offers no apologies.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Death is what keeps me up at night, and so death is what I write about. In fact, it's the only one of the horrors that keeps me awake, that and loneliness, grief, separation, and well, that's enough for now. We're dying and we don't want to be. Everything we care about slips away from us, everyone leaves. That's the awful sadness, at the center of our existence. That's what I believe. And I believe it is our struggle against losses that constitutes the beauty of life. So even in a book that I thought was going to be about love, I knew that death would creep it, I just didn't know how."~ John Dufresne.

That quote and many other memorable quotes summarized this book to me. Introducing Laf, a thirty-sex year old struggling writer that is trying to make a big break. According to his wife Martha, he is a failure who needs to give up on his dream of ever being published. To add insult to injury she walks out of his life after she finds out that he has been unfaithful,. Laf in his defense still loves her, desiring to do anything in his power to win her back. Martha does not want any of it, affirming that he wounded her in more ways than one and he is better off romancing his dog than to make amends with her. Laf makes a silly decision to stay with the girl he has been seeing behind his ex wife back, but he is not fulfilled. Their relationship mainly consist of mundane conversation and awkward intimacy. Laf questions his love for both woman, is he going crazy or is love something to hold on to or something to let go.

Love and loss correlate in this unforgettable novel about redefining what love is.

I really enjoyed this novel, it was witty, poignant and meaningful. There was a lot in this book that made me think,something that is extremely rare in a fiction novel. It raises many questions on why we believe the things we believe, and do we just accept world wide opinions about love or do we have another ideas? It was written in a way that made me feel sympathetic to the main characters.

I read Deep in the Shade of Paradise, it was confusing but decent. However I was very intrigued to read more books from Dufresne; I am very glad that I did. This one was way better and I enjoyed reading the credits about the inspiration behind this book and his approach to writing..

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book held me in its grasp from beginning to end! It is laugh-out-loud funny at times and heart-wrenchingly moving at others. It deals with what it means to truly love another person--all the messiness that that entails as well as how it uplifts and strengthens us. The characters are believable, vulnerable human beings like all of us. A book to remember and talk about for a long time...Be sure to read the author's foreword at the end in which he discusses why he writes fiction. It's something I've long believed--he just says it so eloquently.

[Janet · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this story based on its description--a writer quits his day job, leaves his wife and moves with his dog into his girlfriend's house to write full time. But I immediately could not appreciate the removed tone, and the attempts at humor fell flat. The narrative sounded too much like the ruminations of a man simply going through a midlife crisis, a scenario I really don't want to spend too much time with.

[Holly Rawlins · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, but it just couldn't hold me. One more story about a stupid guy that can't maintain a relationship or stay monogamous. It just old and irritating, or maybe needs to be told in a different way. Whatever. it's up for grabs at New Year's--the pile is growing!

[Ellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. So many odd characters in this book. Kept reading anyway as it tended to be a bit different than a lot the fiction I read. Appreciated the very real description of what happens when someone gets cancer, chooses chemo and how it can ravage the body.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed so much of this book in so many different ways. It was insightful and beautifully written. The story at times was a little slow for my taste but the characters were vibrant and when they spoke, everything they had to say was interesting and made me stop to think.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wouldn't have chosen this book, except for an awed review I read somewhere (here? I can't remember) I'm just really glad I read that review!
I love this book! The narrator is funny and quirky and does stuff he shouldn't do and lots of stuff he should do--he's so real, I feel like I know him as a person. The book is filled with Judi, his girlfriend, her eccentric, to put it mildly, family, and Laf's--short for Layfette, writing, his ex-wife. The characters in the story Laf is writing, Dale and Teresa become characters too. Not in a creepy, supernatural way, just in Laf's head, which is as much the setting of the book as the house he lives in and the places he goes. Spot, the omnivorous, plays a major role as well.
After Laf has been kicked out by his wife for having an affair with Judi, he moves in with her, which was only a temporary arrangement, but the "temporary" part becomes kind of irrelevant when they find out Judi has stage 4 cancer that has metastisized to many different parts of her body. Laf stays and takes care of her until she dies. The description of the illness, what it does to Judi, what it does to Laf, Judi's family--incredible. And the scene where she dies is amazing. I don't think I've ever read a less sentimental,more meaninful description of someone dying, ever.
This book is full of writing and therapy-talk--Judi is a therapist, love, sadness, craziness, happiness, joy, suffering.
I'm really glad I read it and I will find the other books this author has written--soon.

[Cornelio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe one of the best things I could say about a book or anything for that matter is when you're not quite sure what to feel or think, because there's too much to say, and much more to comb thru in the aftermath. That's this novel exactly. So much going on. A lot of funny moments, but certainly a lot of sadness as well. The one thing I admire about Dufresne is while there are lots of big ideas and emotions being bandied about, it never comes across as philosophical lethargy; he cuts to the core with a certain deftness and unique POV, rather than riding lazily on clichés of sentiment. Dufresne can be equally funny, sad, and profound. Sometimes in the same sentence. Lots of sentences to underline in this book; a single one would be worth the price of the book.

The central character is Lafayette Proulx, who has just decided to give up "practicality" and other things to pursue his writing. It's a theme I love encountering, but also know it's a choice wrought with circulative potholes and can be creative quagmire, for both the author and the reader. Lafayette Proulx, though, is rich with humor, insight, imperfection, a speculative wit, and a humble ignorance, a character any writer or reader can relish. Writing, we realize, is another character in the book, one that reminds us art-making (and experiencing art) in whatever form is about engaging life.

And maybe after all that's the most practical thing we can do.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Starts out witty and curious, ends up heartbreaking and hopeless. This is basically one big meditation on love and death. It gets philosophical, but it never feels overly intellectual or dry. Dufresne's observations are incredibly (and painfully) accurate, making the book satisfying in a depressing sort of way.

I typically hate when authors write about characters who are struggling writers, but I got over that pretty quickly while reading this novel. I was drawn in by the fact that all the characters seemed flawed in very real ways. They are confused, uncertain, self-conscious. At times, they're ambitious or optimistic, but those feelings don't last. They're not sure what they're supposed to be doing at any given time. It's refreshing to read about characters who can't be pinned down, because they change in the same ways that real people change.

Fantastic book. A bit of a downer, but in a good way.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had an attitude about this book before I started reading it because it sounded like a male fantasy book - the man is having an affair and he doesn't know if he wants to stay with his wife or lover. Actually, I think he wants both. The book, however, redeemed itself for me because Lafayette's lover (Judi) is dying from ovarian cancer, and the two of them have to resolve their love and infidelity. The book was not a fast read, but it was interesting how Judi, who is a therapist, uses her skills to heal the two of them.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny. Sad. Funny some more. Really, really sad. Characters that are somehow real, even though you hope they aren't people you know sometimes. And you might feel a little like a voyeur in parts -- looking right into someone's head/heart/soul.

I don't know. You're just going to have to read it. DuFresne, luckily, writes in teeny little chapters, which is good. This book is definitely for sipping, not for gulping.

[Esther Lindstrom · Rating 1 out of 5]

Minimal character development and thin allusions make it difficult to become invested in the plot. This book is for people who want literary devices without having to work for them. Dufresne is a blowhard whose prose can be funny. Unfortunately, he likes to remind readers of his wit several times on each page. This book is cheap and one-dimensional.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing book. Very sad and very hopeful at the same time. The fly leaf called it hilarious, which is totally off the mark.
It was funny, sad, irritating, introspective and the best book about dying I have ever read.

[Michael Russell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The funniest sad book I've ever read. It definitely warped my emotions a little.

[Johanna Moran · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5*
Pretty good, nicely paced, though sad all the way through.

[Sarah Brannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny and poignant. I enjoy his humor, although some may find it odd ;)

[Lovett.nicholas · Rating 2 out of 5]

A relative of mine, older and better read, described his thoughts while reading one of the early Cormac McCarthy novels as "a great writer with a terrible book." That's how I would categorize "Love Warps the Mind a Little" a novel set in Worcester, Massachusetts. Lafayette Proulx is a trial-separated English teacher in the midst of a mid-life crisis who decides he wants to be a novelist. He's a philanderer--the cause of his divorce--and during his travails, he meets a psychologist named Judi. She serves as the provider of a crash-pad once Lafayette gets the boot, until she gets Stage IV cancer. The rest of the novel is the twists and turns of caretaking and convalescence.

John Dufrense took risks. Too many of them, in my opinion. I write fiction, and about two years ago, I made the wise decision to buy "A Lie that Tells the Truth," JD's fiction guide. This proved to be the novels undoing, as I recognized a lot of the research elements he describes--buying Gray's Anatomy, Field Guides, Guides to Love, and Guides to Death--and they were just slapped together with little forethought. He had a tedious "story within the story" that bordered on meta-fiction. One of the characters has a series of past lives that take up 5-10 pages and dragged down the narrative. There are academic recitations of faith healing, oncology, and psychology that add depth with a sledge hammer.

I like straight-line narratives. Beginnings, middles, and ends. This novel meandered, and did what could have been done in 220 pages in 315. The last thirty pages are quite good. But like a teacher told a failing student in Q2 of 7th Grade Science "one good week doesn't cancel seven bad ones." The main conflict for me, or at least the interesting conflicts, are Lafayette's relationship with family migrated to South Florida, and the mid-life crisis of a confused man throwing away a marriage and clinging to another relationship that is quite literally dying. These were overlooked. The conflicts of the silly meta-narrative, a real stinker, took up more real estate than what I wanted to learn about this character and the world. A sad ending that hinted at a happier ending down the road, but compared to "The Way that Water Enters Stone" this was just romper room.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Living in central mass, I recognized many of the locations in this book, The Olde Mill, Letriam's, worcester art museum, leominster being my home town, and especially the boyton, which is a regular haunt of mine and the pizza, is in fact, to die for. Taking these factors into account, it was one reason I really enjoyed the book, it was very personal to me. That was until I reached the ending, I felt as though I had a whole in the center of my body.

This is not to disparage the book by any means, it made me feel a wide range of emotions. Leaving me to feel nothing but pity for Laf by the end. Not to say that it didn't have a happy ending because the main character gets what he wants, in an untraditional way.

This novel speaks a lot of truths about life and death because life isn't always pretty and there's no easy answers. This novel felt so real about emotions we may have all felt or have witnessed at some point or another. The author goes about tackling them in an untraditional way, that is comprehendible and not over thought. It's just smart and although the books deals in love is by far from a traditional romance novel.

This book is in fact very different and I can't recommend it enough, I fired through it in two days and it deserved that kind of commitment. Let Lafa and Judi show you the dysfunctional side of life, as we deal with this pandemic it may make you feel better about your situation. I couldn't imagine being quarantined with some of these cast of characters or in the trailer. Maybe it'll inspire you to write or be more attentive to your significant other, maybe you'll end up divorced or single. I can only make one promise, you'll definitely feel something. Cheers!

[Megan Prestridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

This author was recommended to me a thousand times in one year because we are both Louisiana writers. I chose this one because the title interested me, but I was not prepared for what was to come!

I didn’t despise Laf, but I wasn’t in his corner at all. A womanizer is what I thought he was, and I suppose, in part, he is. He’s a writer, and that I obviously resonated with, but the mess of his life pissed me off. Why can’t he just get it together?

The more I read, the more I began to see myself. Stumbling your way through, consumed by your characters because they’re easier to live with than yourself and your real life, and just doing the best you can even if you don’t know what that best looks like or how to do it.

The structure of it all was very meta to me, but once I got used to it, it made so much sense. We are experiencing life as Laf experiences it. I think that would be the only way for him to receive even a little bit of grace and understanding because if we were to look on as an outsider we’d hate his guts and have expectations of him higher than we’d ever have for ourselves.

I give this five stars because I wanted to be whisked away into this nostalgic and romantic life of a writer, but I was doused in painful reality. I came out with a new revival for my own writing journey

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a little while to get into this book and I actually read some Goodreads reviews to make sure it wasn't just another story about an aimless white male American who can't commit. I enjoyed it more and more as I read on and eventually really wanted to find out what happens to the characters. This story is a meditation on the creative process at the same time that it's an exploration of the human experience of love in all its manifestations. It's also really funny. It's got a lot to say about illness, and I read it partly while I was in the hospital, where time passes differently than on the outside. One of the characters is a nurse, and the author captured her no-nonsense nature perfectly.

[LisaMarie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to read this because I lived in Worcester,MA where it’s set for 10 yrs (the area about 20), but after the first 5 chapters I knew it was a DNFer. I didn’t care for the style, and while the MC seemed more hapless than hateable as two-timers go, he wasn’t someone I wanted to follow through the trials I knew from the description were coming.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a strange book but I liked it a lot. His writing style is different and at times a little hard to follow or absorb for me. But I like the way he is constantly psychoanalyzing everything that happens. Definitely going to read something else by him.

[{erika} · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotional book Paula lent me, enjoyed it and Spot was the best!

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was just okay and a little slow and on the boring side for me. However, there were some good parts that stood out and parts which really made me think about the meaning of love.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant, witty, dark and wonderful.

[Q · Rating 5 out of 5]

In honesty this is a 4.75 read for me but I rounded up. The emotions I felt, the way I laughed, the quotes I wrote down and will remember forever... So so so so good.

[David G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found in my little library.
It’s a very free narrative, fun to read.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly, highly recommend! It's been a while since I read a book that made me cry like this one. I don't mean a simple little tear in my eye and a little sniffle in my nose. I mean bawling, complete with sound effects and a ream of tissues. Now, my real life paralleled part of the plot (in a vague way) a couple of years ago, so I'm sure that explains part of my reaction. But still... it takes an incredibly talented author to elicit such a strong reaction from a reader. Despite this, the book is actually more comedy than tragedy.

The strange thing is, I didn't feel that deeply for any of the characters. The main character, Lafayette Proulx (Laf),the narrator of the action, is an aspiring writer who is always observing the world around him; he's more observer than participant so the reader is inherently less involved in the characters'lives than in most books -- more on the outside looking in. Throughout the book Laf is struggling to write a novel and we see his novel as it unfolds: his characters reflect what is happening in his own life, giving the reader another angle of insight into his character. Very well done.

Basic Plot: When Laf fell in love and married his wife Martha, they made a pact. He'd work until she was through school and they were on their feet, then he would start his writing career. After 10 years as a high school teacher, Laf is ready to start his life. Martha still every year tells him to think about their future, don't chase silly dreams, be responsible. He sees his dreams turning into regrets and quits his job without telling her. Fastforward two years. A part-time job at a fishfry place, dozens of stories later and still nothing published, he starts having an affair with Judy. Martha finds out (he tells her in a fit of honesty) and kicks him out. With nowhere to go and no plan, he finds himself at Judy's door with his problem dog Spot. They aren't in love but settle into a friendly rhythm. I won't giveaway more of the plot, but he struggles through the next couple of years writing, learning about the multiple definitions of love, and observing life.

My only complaint about the book is that there were just so many characters that I sometimes lost how they were all connected. It didn't matter that much because, again, the reader is more watching their lives and hearing their stories rather than being involved with them... until the end.

[Marguerite Hargreaves · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a little while to warm up to the characters in this fine, though different, love story. John Dufresne's characters are refreshingly imperfect: a would-be novelist and chronic philanderer who gets his material straight from a reporter's notebook; a therapist born of an extremely dysfunctional family; conventionally unhappy friends and lovers; petty criminals and hangers-on. Though a love story, this also is a novel about choice, pursuit of one's dream, and the havoc imposed by illness. (It also poses the question of whether illness -- physical and psychological -- is a choice, and explores the ties that bind across time and space.) I was too interested in the story to relish Dufresne's writing, especially the interior life of narrator Lafayette Proulx. The pacing was perfect. The musings of "Laf" as writer seemed dead-on. (I could have done without the character's short story, though.) This one merits another, more deliberate, read. And, I'll look for other books by Dufresne.