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What Makes Women Happy
Offering wisdom on the subject of female happiness and how to achieve it, Weldon explores what makes women happy; how our lives, jobs, families, bodies, morals, and responsibilities affect that happiness, and what we can do to lead more rounded and desirable lives. She also delivers short stories to prove her points.
- GenresNonfictionChick Lit
Hardcover
First published September 18, 2006
About the author
Fay Weldon
158 books402 followersFay Weldon CBE was an English author, essayist and playwright, whose work has been associated with feminism. In her fiction, Weldon typically portrayed contemporary women who find themselves trapped in oppressive situations caused by the patriarchal structure of British society.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fay_Weldon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fay_Weldon
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
September 22, 2008
Reading this book was such a strange experience. The author's basic premise - "Be good and you'll be happy; be happy and you'll be good" - seems like a generally sound idea. And in some of the particulars, I agree with her - don't be a self-absorbed twit, don't be nasty or a bully, go see some good art, listen to good music, go to church, help an abandoned child.
But other pieces of advice left me scratching my head: If you sleep with your best friend's boyfriend, don't beat yourself up about it. If you and your husband are struggling to conceive, try having a clandestine one night stand with a random, healthy, virile, young man, preferably one who looks a little like your husband. This is preferable to exposing your husband to the humiliation of fertility treatment. (????) Or it's fine to have a casual affair if you're husband's health problems are leaving you dissatisfied in that arena.
The author recognizes that one cause of women's unhappiness is the unfaithfulness of their husbands/boyfriends. So her cavalier advice about justifiable adultery for women under certain circumstances seems like a really bizarre and disturbing double standard.
Her overall message seems to be this: our behavior and emotions are influenced by a complicated mix of evolution, genes, hormones, environment, conflicting desires, guilt, society, our upbringing, our conscience, etc. And there's rarely one clear path that leads to unsullied happiness. Turn down the chocolate, and we resent foregoing the pleasure. Eat the chocolate, and we feel guilt over our expanding waistline. We have to accept that there are trade-offs to every choice, and just learn to live with that.
Although I was horrified by a lot of her advice, I will admit that I kind of enjoyed her writing style, especially when she wove her brief little character sketches and stories throughout the book. I understand she's mostly a novelist. I might pick up one of her works of fiction someday, and see if I like it any better. Maybe I'd give this book a 1 and a 1/2, if that were an option.
But other pieces of advice left me scratching my head: If you sleep with your best friend's boyfriend, don't beat yourself up about it. If you and your husband are struggling to conceive, try having a clandestine one night stand with a random, healthy, virile, young man, preferably one who looks a little like your husband. This is preferable to exposing your husband to the humiliation of fertility treatment. (????) Or it's fine to have a casual affair if you're husband's health problems are leaving you dissatisfied in that arena.
The author recognizes that one cause of women's unhappiness is the unfaithfulness of their husbands/boyfriends. So her cavalier advice about justifiable adultery for women under certain circumstances seems like a really bizarre and disturbing double standard.
Her overall message seems to be this: our behavior and emotions are influenced by a complicated mix of evolution, genes, hormones, environment, conflicting desires, guilt, society, our upbringing, our conscience, etc. And there's rarely one clear path that leads to unsullied happiness. Turn down the chocolate, and we resent foregoing the pleasure. Eat the chocolate, and we feel guilt over our expanding waistline. We have to accept that there are trade-offs to every choice, and just learn to live with that.
Although I was horrified by a lot of her advice, I will admit that I kind of enjoyed her writing style, especially when she wove her brief little character sketches and stories throughout the book. I understand she's mostly a novelist. I might pick up one of her works of fiction someday, and see if I like it any better. Maybe I'd give this book a 1 and a 1/2, if that were an option.
July 28, 2020
I really did not like this book. Not only was there so much I just didn't agree with but Weldon does not have the grasp of the natural world that she claims to (and as an ecologist I can confirm that I do know this). She's blames so much on 'natural desires/drives/whatevers' that have been shown to apply to lower animals only, not higher pack animals where such drives are actually lower and relate more to the overall pack or tribe and not the individual. For example, Weldon states that every woman has a natural drive to have children and therefore cannot be happy without them. This is biologically inaccurate as people as pack animals have a drive to pass on their genes which can be and is satisfied by assisting in the raising of siblings, nieces, nephews etc. (as seen in numerous other higher pack animals, not just people). It is only disproved by a mounting body of scientific evidence that indicates that many woman (and men) are actually happier when they don't have children just because society tells them they should (there's also an increasing body of evidence that women are happy and live longer when they don't get married but that's a slightly different matter). Because the entire basis for her book is flawed, her statements come across as immature and ill-informed, reeking of white middle-upper class privilege, and somewhat (and weirdly) sexist as it assumes that women cannot be happy regardless of what they do, which as a happy single and child-free woman in her mid to late 30s who has no problem eating the chocolate (or cheese in my case) without feeling the slightest bit of guilt, I object to whole heartedly. For any men who read this, I feel for you too as you are made out to be a bunch of easily please simpletons that have no real purpose or goal in life other than to spread your seed far and wide, again the biological assumptions behind this are flawed and unfounded.
June 22, 2021
Profoundly boring, and at times VERY old-fashioned.
Stuff like 'be good, don't bully, don't tell the truth at any price, go see some art' is very fine and true, but stuff like 'don't beat yourself up about sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend' or 'if you're struggling to conceive, try a one night stand with a random guy' is just... weird.
Stuff like 'be good, don't bully, don't tell the truth at any price, go see some art' is very fine and true, but stuff like 'don't beat yourself up about sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend' or 'if you're struggling to conceive, try a one night stand with a random guy' is just... weird.
December 31, 2010
I came across this book almost completely by accident as it was contained ‘for free’ within the cellophane packet of a British mass-market female magazine at the airport. I like the writing of Fay Weldon and considered it a bonus book that I might have read on holiday – I actually believed it to be one of her works of fiction (as she is rather prolific) but the genre of the book was something new and refreshing. I did read this book while on holiday and it did change my thought processes a little.
The tone of the book is quite feminist but not in a militant or oppressive way. Within the book, Weldon acknowledges and celebrates female differences as well as identifying how much society attempts to harshly influence and change aspects of our everyday life. It would be wrong to label the book as ‘self-help’ but Weldon’s many down-to-earth anecdotes and fictionalized situations do well in offering the reader a range of moral choices and new ways of thinking about unfamiliar and old-hat situations. It would be true to say that Weldon addresses the question of ‘what makes women happy’ within her work but she also answers the ‘what makes women unhappy’ part also often by looking though glasses half-full or half-empty scenarios.
In short, Weldon does not instruct BUT recommends her readers to be happy, make choices, eat chocolate and live life without regret. She offers candid and uncommon advice and via this book of anecdotal evidence on the state of womanhood across continents (ever a volatile and potentially unhappy one) I have been reminded about her writing proficiency, strength of character and gentle state of female genius-ness. I think this book will mainly appeal to woman rather than male readers and will be a good read for those whose contemplate life in a philosophical and hearty way – there is less appeal, I feel, for an under-thirty readership I would say as a certain amount of knockbacks and life-experience will guide your reading. I’ll offer it four stars as a generally good genuine read. Maybe you will laugh and nod your head in agreement as you read through the pages – like I did.
A book to enjoy and appreciate and happily junk/jargon-free!
The tone of the book is quite feminist but not in a militant or oppressive way. Within the book, Weldon acknowledges and celebrates female differences as well as identifying how much society attempts to harshly influence and change aspects of our everyday life. It would be wrong to label the book as ‘self-help’ but Weldon’s many down-to-earth anecdotes and fictionalized situations do well in offering the reader a range of moral choices and new ways of thinking about unfamiliar and old-hat situations. It would be true to say that Weldon addresses the question of ‘what makes women happy’ within her work but she also answers the ‘what makes women unhappy’ part also often by looking though glasses half-full or half-empty scenarios.
In short, Weldon does not instruct BUT recommends her readers to be happy, make choices, eat chocolate and live life without regret. She offers candid and uncommon advice and via this book of anecdotal evidence on the state of womanhood across continents (ever a volatile and potentially unhappy one) I have been reminded about her writing proficiency, strength of character and gentle state of female genius-ness. I think this book will mainly appeal to woman rather than male readers and will be a good read for those whose contemplate life in a philosophical and hearty way – there is less appeal, I feel, for an under-thirty readership I would say as a certain amount of knockbacks and life-experience will guide your reading. I’ll offer it four stars as a generally good genuine read. Maybe you will laugh and nod your head in agreement as you read through the pages – like I did.
A book to enjoy and appreciate and happily junk/jargon-free!
February 20, 2025
'What Makes Women Happy' (2006) is Fay Weldon's examination of the where's, the why's and the how's of women's happiness...
It's disappointingly conservative, reactionary, retrograde and traditionalist in content and doesn't feel like a feminist approach at all, let alone analysis...
I'm not in a position to patronise and want to absolutely avoid mansplaining and therefore allegations of same, and I don't feel in a position to adequately deconstruct and review.
Therefore these are merely my initial thoughts and observations. Whilst Weldon is acknowledged to be an accomplished writer, this book is hugely disappointing.
The 'parable' are the most interesting if viewed as standalones, rather than the basis for the 'morals' Weldon quotes to be learnt - in somewhat of a patronising way. It is these parables which raises the book from a 1 to 2 star rating.
It's disappointingly conservative, reactionary, retrograde and traditionalist in content and doesn't feel like a feminist approach at all, let alone analysis...
I'm not in a position to patronise and want to absolutely avoid mansplaining and therefore allegations of same, and I don't feel in a position to adequately deconstruct and review.
Therefore these are merely my initial thoughts and observations. Whilst Weldon is acknowledged to be an accomplished writer, this book is hugely disappointing.
The 'parable' are the most interesting if viewed as standalones, rather than the basis for the 'morals' Weldon quotes to be learnt - in somewhat of a patronising way. It is these parables which raises the book from a 1 to 2 star rating.
March 15, 2013
There wasn't much to this book which makes it a quick read. That's a good thing considering that it basically doesn't make a lot of sense. The description makes it sound much more coherent and serious than it is, although, to be honest, I had a hard time figuring out just how much was tongue-in-cheek and how much was legitimate advice. For instance, did the author really advocate that you seek out a lover to impregnate you if you can't get pregnant by your husband and then let your husband unwittingly raise the child as his own??
I do enjoy Weldon's writing, especially the short passages which were more like vignettes from various women's lives. But her talent is wasted on this mostly frivolous mish-mash of observations and so-called advice.
I do enjoy Weldon's writing, especially the short passages which were more like vignettes from various women's lives. But her talent is wasted on this mostly frivolous mish-mash of observations and so-called advice.
December 19, 2014
This author truly understands what it is like to be a woman and that it is OK that we are different. Hilarious and true and a breath of fresh air. Definate Must Read! You can thank me later!
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March 23, 2019I have the german edition.
February 20, 2018
I feel badly that I have abandoned one of my favorite writers while she has been doggedly writing book
after book. The main message is be nice to people and there is not one insipid moment in the book.
after book. The main message is be nice to people and there is not one insipid moment in the book.
Read
September 15, 2023Ausalt, ma arvasin sellest autorist paremini. Aga leheküljeks 14 olin saanud aru, et tegu pole, keel põses, muigamisega teemal "mehed marsilt, naised veenuselt, isssssver küll" vaid päriselt Jan Uuspõllu stiilis sisemiste koopainimeste kirjeladamisega ja sellise asjaga pole mul küll midagi teha.
December 18, 2020
Utter trash
April 16, 2022
A very outdated sort of feminism.
January 20, 2013
Fay Weldon se měla narodit na Novém Zélandu, místo toho se ovšem narodila roku 1931 v Anglii. Když byla 5 týdnů stará, vrátila se s matkou na Nový Zéland. Její otec byl doktor a její matka spisovatelka, rozvedli se, když jí bylo pět let. Bydlela se svou sestrou, matkou a babičkou do doby, než šla na vysokou školu. Do té chvíle žila v přesvědčení, že svět dělají ženy. Vrátila se s matkou do Anglie a studovala ekonomii s psychologií na University of St. Andrews ve Skotsku.
Byla dvakrát vdaná, má čtyři syny a ve třiceti si prošla jakousi "krizí". Tehdy se rozhodla, že začne psát knihy o ženách, pro ženy. První román byl publikován v roce 1967. Od té doby napsala přes padesát her pro rozhlas (například i velice oblíbnou Pýchu a předsudek), více jak dvacet novel či kratších příběhů a v roce 1994 se rozvedla, aby se po čase znovu vdala. Tentokrát za básníka Nicka Foxe.
Už jste si někdy lámaly hlavu nad tím, v čem tkví to správné štěstí? Jak jej vůbec dosáhnout? Proč nebýváme spokojené se svým životem a toužíme po změně? Proč někdy chceme to, co nemůžeme mít? A jak se dostat z prekérních situací, které se nám v životě přihodí? A je jedno, jestli se t��ká o rodinné, milostné či pracovní vztahy. Jestli ano, pak je tahle kniha právě pro vás.
Autorka se s důvtipem sobě vlastním dívá na obyčejné překážky života jako je nespokojenost s opačným pohlavím, jak vlastně ženy vnímají muže, co máme společného a co ne, co s pocitem viny, žárlivostí, nemocemi, výchovou dětí, partnerským soužitím a jak se na svět dívat vesele, i když vám do smíchu třeba není. A nezapomínejte, že vždycky všechno zachární čokoláda!
Knihu jsem v originále nečetla, ale předpokládám, že se v překladu ničím výrazně neliší. Stále si zachovala svižnost, reálnost, uvěřitelnost a jakýsi spád. Ve chvíli, kdy jsem se dostala k pasáži o sexu, jsem se musela přece jen pousmát tomu procentuálnímu přehledu o tom, jak to vlastně ženy mají s orgasmem.
Když jsem knihu začínala číst, tak trochu jsem nevěděla, co přesně očekávat, protože šlo o první knihu, kterou jsem od této autorky měla v rukou. Bylo mi jasné, že to nejspíš bude nějaký ten filozofický pohled na ženský život, ale netušila jsem, že se při čtení budu tak bavit. Došlo mi totiž, že nejsem sama.
Každá ženská má v něčem pochybnosti a s něčím zkušenosti a je hezké vědět, že opravdu není jediná, komu se to děje. Líbilo se mi zjištění, že lidé, kteří se řídí instinkty, jsou spontánní a roztomilí. Navíc mi došlo, že jsem jasná endomorfka. Kniha možná není přelomová, ani vám neodpoví na všechny otázky života (ani smrti), ale přesto jsou v ní obsaženy zajímavé a častokrát pravdivé myšlenky. Autorka si na nic nehraje, ani se čtenářům nesnaží vtloukat moudra do hlavy. A to mi bylo sympatické.
Podobných knih od ženy, o ženách a pro ženy, je hodně. I mně se už několik takových dostalo do rukou a i když jsem si vybírala spíše takové, u kterých jsem se bavila, někdy jsem samozřejmě narazila i na ty horší. Po čem ženy touží patří ovšem mezi ty lepší a vtipnější kousky. Autorka ví, o čem mluví a vy se při čtení přistihnete, že s ní v mnoha názorech souhlasíte.
Negativum knihy se začíná projevovat ve chvíli, kdy dojde na ukázky ze života v podobě krátkých a srozumitelných příběhů. Většina z nich na mě totiž působila spíše depresivně. Ale tak už to tak v životě chodí. Kdykoliv dojde na nějakou vážnou otázku či problém, není rozhodování žádné peříčko. Určitě bych se obešla i bez poslední části knihy, která je věnovaná spíše duši a smyslu života. I když se to dá pochopit, protože si podle svých slov autorka dvakrát prošla klinickou smrtí. A to se přece jen na člověku nějak podepíše. Proto dávám knize 4 hvězdičky.
--------------Reakce po dočtení--------------
Nebýt těch místy zdlouhavých příběhů ze života a podivnému konci s cestami do duše a jak to vypadá na druhé straně (i když to chápu, jelikož autorka podle svých slov dvakrát prošla klinickou smrtí), možná bych knize dala i plný počet. Je to přesně ten typ knihy, který by si měla přečíst každá ženská. Není možná přelomový, ani vám neodpoví na všechny otázky života (ani smrti), ale přesto jsou v ní obsaženy zajímavé a častokrát pravdivé myšlenky. Autorka si na nic nehraje, ani se čtenářům nesnaží vtloukat moudra do hlavy. Bavila jsem se a hlavně mi došlo, že nejsem sama... každá ženská má v něčem pochybnosti a s něčím zkušenosti a je hezké vědět, že opravdu není jediná, komu se to děje. Milá a zábavná kniha ze života od ženy pro ženy.
Byla dvakrát vdaná, má čtyři syny a ve třiceti si prošla jakousi "krizí". Tehdy se rozhodla, že začne psát knihy o ženách, pro ženy. První román byl publikován v roce 1967. Od té doby napsala přes padesát her pro rozhlas (například i velice oblíbnou Pýchu a předsudek), více jak dvacet novel či kratších příběhů a v roce 1994 se rozvedla, aby se po čase znovu vdala. Tentokrát za básníka Nicka Foxe.
Už jste si někdy lámaly hlavu nad tím, v čem tkví to správné štěstí? Jak jej vůbec dosáhnout? Proč nebýváme spokojené se svým životem a toužíme po změně? Proč někdy chceme to, co nemůžeme mít? A jak se dostat z prekérních situací, které se nám v životě přihodí? A je jedno, jestli se t��ká o rodinné, milostné či pracovní vztahy. Jestli ano, pak je tahle kniha právě pro vás.
Autorka se s důvtipem sobě vlastním dívá na obyčejné překážky života jako je nespokojenost s opačným pohlavím, jak vlastně ženy vnímají muže, co máme společného a co ne, co s pocitem viny, žárlivostí, nemocemi, výchovou dětí, partnerským soužitím a jak se na svět dívat vesele, i když vám do smíchu třeba není. A nezapomínejte, že vždycky všechno zachární čokoláda!
Knihu jsem v originále nečetla, ale předpokládám, že se v překladu ničím výrazně neliší. Stále si zachovala svižnost, reálnost, uvěřitelnost a jakýsi spád. Ve chvíli, kdy jsem se dostala k pasáži o sexu, jsem se musela přece jen pousmát tomu procentuálnímu přehledu o tom, jak to vlastně ženy mají s orgasmem.
Když jsem knihu začínala číst, tak trochu jsem nevěděla, co přesně očekávat, protože šlo o první knihu, kterou jsem od této autorky měla v rukou. Bylo mi jasné, že to nejspíš bude nějaký ten filozofický pohled na ženský život, ale netušila jsem, že se při čtení budu tak bavit. Došlo mi totiž, že nejsem sama.
Každá ženská má v něčem pochybnosti a s něčím zkušenosti a je hezké vědět, že opravdu není jediná, komu se to děje. Líbilo se mi zjištění, že lidé, kteří se řídí instinkty, jsou spontánní a roztomilí. Navíc mi došlo, že jsem jasná endomorfka. Kniha možná není přelomová, ani vám neodpoví na všechny otázky života (ani smrti), ale přesto jsou v ní obsaženy zajímavé a častokrát pravdivé myšlenky. Autorka si na nic nehraje, ani se čtenářům nesnaží vtloukat moudra do hlavy. A to mi bylo sympatické.
Podobných knih od ženy, o ženách a pro ženy, je hodně. I mně se už několik takových dostalo do rukou a i když jsem si vybírala spíše takové, u kterých jsem se bavila, někdy jsem samozřejmě narazila i na ty horší. Po čem ženy touží patří ovšem mezi ty lepší a vtipnější kousky. Autorka ví, o čem mluví a vy se při čtení přistihnete, že s ní v mnoha názorech souhlasíte.
Negativum knihy se začíná projevovat ve chvíli, kdy dojde na ukázky ze života v podobě krátkých a srozumitelných příběhů. Většina z nich na mě totiž působila spíše depresivně. Ale tak už to tak v životě chodí. Kdykoliv dojde na nějakou vážnou otázku či problém, není rozhodování žádné peříčko. Určitě bych se obešla i bez poslední části knihy, která je věnovaná spíše duši a smyslu života. I když se to dá pochopit, protože si podle svých slov autorka dvakrát prošla klinickou smrtí. A to se přece jen na člověku nějak podepíše. Proto dávám knize 4 hvězdičky.
--------------Reakce po dočtení--------------
Nebýt těch místy zdlouhavých příběhů ze života a podivnému konci s cestami do duše a jak to vypadá na druhé straně (i když to chápu, jelikož autorka podle svých slov dvakrát prošla klinickou smrtí), možná bych knize dala i plný počet. Je to přesně ten typ knihy, který by si měla přečíst každá ženská. Není možná přelomový, ani vám neodpoví na všechny otázky života (ani smrti), ale přesto jsou v ní obsaženy zajímavé a častokrát pravdivé myšlenky. Autorka si na nic nehraje, ani se čtenářům nesnaží vtloukat moudra do hlavy. Bavila jsem se a hlavně mi došlo, že nejsem sama... každá ženská má v něčem pochybnosti a s něčím zkušenosti a je hezké vědět, že opravdu není jediná, komu se to děje. Milá a zábavná kniha ze života od ženy pro ženy.
February 26, 2023
it’s one of those books that make you sigh and say to yourself internally: “so much to unpack…”
November 14, 2008
I was expected “What Makes Women Happy” to be similar to other positive thinking books with the usual advice about positive thoughts and living in the moment. Fay took a different approach and looked at the circumstances and things that make women un-happy with short stories to emphasis her points. I suppose the intent was humorous but I found it rather negative. The prevailing theme that Fay incorporated in her analysis and antidotes was “Be good and you’ll be happy. Be happy and you’ll be good”.
September 21, 2012
So according to this book, all that I, as a woman, need to be happy is sex, shopping, and chocolate. Wow. How stereotypical is that. Nothing I couldn't have learned from a bad tv sitcom. Good job, Fay Weldon! (Note: I am also NOT a feminist, so I really did not like the pro-feminist angle this book had)
May 20, 2011
The basic premise of the book is good and would have made an extremely good essay / magazine piece - but it feels like it has been over extended (lots of sections that feel like superfluous) to make a book.
June 6, 2011
A complete joke. Weldon, a successful novelist, advises that all it takes for women to be happy is chocolate, shopping, and good sex (though she's not above suggesting that we fake it for "our man)." Sure, let's all go back to the repressed 1950s. What a waste of paper, not to mention my time.
August 21, 2012
I was reading it in estonian language
Title is: Mis teeb naised õnnelikuks?
Some good thoughts and good stories, but author is very estimating and doesn't look very happy herself. Belittle other thoughts.
I didn't get answer What makes women happy?
Title is: Mis teeb naised õnnelikuks?
Some good thoughts and good stories, but author is very estimating and doesn't look very happy herself. Belittle other thoughts.
I didn't get answer What makes women happy?
August 16, 2013
Tämä Weldon ei ole iskenyt yleisöön, mutta vanha gradukirjailija sykähdyttää edelleen. Luonto vs. kulttuuri -dilemma aukeaa vanhemman naisen silmin eri tavalla kuin nuorena, mutta hyperbola, luettelot ja sarkasmi pistelevät edelleen vanhaan malliin.
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January 27, 2008felt like a chicken soup type of book.. lotsa stories.
Currently Reading
March 4, 2010???
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July 8, 2020I did not identify with this book whatsoever. While some of the passages gave me a wry smile, the overall tone of the book just stands at odds with my beliefs. I struggled to get to the final page.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews