Belonging Beyond Borders: How Adult Third Culture Kids Can Cultivate a Sense of Belonging

by Megan C. Norton

Third Culture Kids (TCKs) have typically spent a significant part of their upbringing crossing cultures. Their experiences can make it challenging to find, form, and sustain a sense of belonging to place and to people. Belonging Beyond Borders supports the journey of Adult Third Culture Kids in unpacking what it means to belong in their multiple personal, professional, familial, cultural, spiritual.

Questions and self-reflection exercises invite you to get curious about how to belong, where to belong, and why to belong. Using analogies from the garden, Megan creates imagery for you to explore patterns in belonging and opportunities for belonging. As an Adult TCK, Megan shares in a deeply spiritual and cultural way how she has navigated and grown in belonging to people and to place. In a polarized world, this book offers love and encouragement about how to see and bridge differences.

Genres: Nonfiction

312 pages, Paperback

Published December 10, 2022

Reviews

[Kaitlin Ernest · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been a treasured companion of mine the past few years. Its words, like the author, have enveloped me in warmth, acceptance, and generous hospitality. I have felt seen and known in its pages as I have reflected on my own contradictions and curious nature cultivated through the places and spaces that have held me throughout my life. Megan is a master of intentionality, always offering a sense of belonging through her detailed expressions of kindness. This book feels like the coziness of sitting down for coffee with a friend, but also the compelling force of a friend who calls you up to your best self.

“I feel like I’m a walking contradiction with all of my paradoxical belongings and expressions of identity in and through those communities. In some spaces, communities, and places I am brave; in others, quiet…For all of us, life is full of paradoxes. And that’s OK. We are intersectional beings when it comes to belonging to communities, places, and cultures, and we can shift our minds to view these as “productive tensions” instead of pesky paradoxes.“ -Megan Norton

[Anna Redsand · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's rather serendipitous that I, an Adult Third Culture Kid (ATCK) began reading Belonging Beyond Borders in the midst of my 72nd move. I am one of those ATCKs who exhibits the restlessness shared by some other ATCKs; I have lived in all four hemispheres, on three continents, in four countries (counting the Navajo Nation as a country––the land that made me a TCK), six US states, and eighteen US cities or communities. I definitely find Megan's book relatable, not just because of my experiences, but also because of her clear and deep understanding of the TCK experience and her tightly focused, essential topic of belonging. A commonly held definition of TCKs is that we've spent a good portion of our developmental years in culture(s) other than our parents' culture(s) and as a result do not experience full belonging in any one culture.

Megan has chosen a form that is something like a course on how TCKs (and plenty of others) can use intentionality to create belonging; in fact, she emphasizes that we don't simply find belonging, even by searching; we create it. Megan offers gentle but firm support through narrative and via many exercises that can be used (or not, as she points out) to explore identity, which is much broader than the TCK identity. Being fully aware of our own identity can help in the formation of belonging wherever we find ourselves.

Many books on the TCK experience explore how it has impacted us both negatively and positively, as well as how it equips us with gifts we can offer the world. I've read very few books that address how our often-privileged status can affect how we relate and try to belong in our host countries. Belonging Beyond Borders stands out in this respect––a big plus, in my opinion. I recommend the book highly. And a shout-out to Maya Ilunga, who did the outstanding cover art.

[Mdmaurer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Megan is an adult TCK and writes from experience, but also uses research in this book that helps TCKs transition into adulthood. It's is not bogged down in research though, but filled with practical tips and reflection questions. Megan uses the analogy of a garden throughout the book, but not in a way that one needs to be a gardener to understand it. She explains the various aspects of gardening well and incorporates the transition into adulthood in a creative, yet practical way.
There are five sections to the book. The first section is an introduction to the garden analogy and how to use the book. The second, "Principles for Belonging" has components of values and identity. I love that she points out that we each have values and gives space for each reader to look at what their values are and their core identity. Sections three and four and explanatory by their titles: "Practical Strategies" and "Particular Challenges to Belonging in Adulthood". And the final section, "Peace of Belonging", gives space to what is it to belong.
I recommend this book to anyone making that transition into adulthood because I think most everyone, whether they are a TCK or not, struggles with identity and has the need to belong. Megan's book provides guidance, or at least conversation starters for those who work with this age group.

[Shalini Perumal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Belonging Beyond Borders is a detailed, phenomenal self-help book for Third Culture Kids and Adults on how to cultivate a sense of community and belonging through the innovative analogy of a garden. I deeply enjoyed reading this book and the wisdom it carries. I feel myself already envisioning the garden at my house in New Delhi and how gardeners tend to it through hope, perseverance and love. Megan C. Norton's lyrical writing and prayers made me feel a sense of home and purpose after a long time and left me with deep personal musings on how I show care to my relationships with others and myself that will stay with me in the days and weeks to come.

[Tanya Crossman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Belonging Beyond Borders is a thoughtful book to help people who grew up with mobility consider how that mobility has impacted their connections to people and places. It is a practical tool, more flexible workbook than linear text. Norton offers compassionate insight along with practical activities for self-reflection.

[Kendal Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book for adult TCKs who are navigating finding their place and navigating relationships. Lots of practical ideas and processing activities to help ATCKs understand themselves and others. Good insights as well for those who care for TCKs.

[Tim Wester · Rating 4 out of 5]

well done and worth reading and some good resources