What do you think?
Rate this book
God's Healing for Life's Losses: How to Find Hope When You're Hurting
Are you ready for real and raw, honest and hopeful conversation about suffering, loss, and grief - from a Christian perspective? Here are real answers, for real people, with real struggles. When life's losses invade your world, learn how to face suffering face-to-face with God.Written in a gift book format, this book also includes two built-in application/discussion guides making it perfect for individual or group study. This is a GriefShare book.
128 pages, Hardcover
First published May 25, 2010
34 people are currently reading
171 people want to read
About the author
Robert W. Kellemen
32 books54 followersMy passion is to write, speak, and consult on Christ-centered comprehensive, compassioante, culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation that changes lives with Christ's changeless truth
My web site is: www.rpmministries.org
I have authored:
Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direciton
Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction
Spiritual Friends: A Methodology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction
Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith
My wife, Shirley, and I have been married for 28 years. We have a married son, Josh (to Andi), and a young adult daughter, Marie, who is a college Senior.
My web site is: www.rpmministries.org
I have authored:
Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direciton
Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction
Spiritual Friends: A Methodology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction
Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith
My wife, Shirley, and I have been married for 28 years. We have a married son, Josh (to Andi), and a young adult daughter, Marie, who is a college Senior.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
March 12, 2019
This is a must read book for anyone dealing with grief. It takes you through the 5 stages of grief...from a Biblical perspective. Very encouraging, practical, and deeply convicting. It’s kind of a workbook with questions and things to fill out in each chapter. This would make an excellent gift book for anyone you know dealing with grief.
November 26, 2020
Dr. Kellemen is a personal friend who has been an immense help to me and my wife, as we've encountered pain and the subsequent grief.
In God's Healing for Life's Losses, Dr. Kellemen rewrites Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's popular five-step "Model of the Grief Process"--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance--by using Scripture instead of naked research and reason. The consequence is an eight-step ("step" being used very loosely, these are not experienced one after the other) biblical model of suffering, or "Biblical sufferology," as he calls it.
The steps or stages of this biblical model are: candor, complaint, cry, comfort, waiting, wailing, weaving, worshiping. The alliteration indicates the two broader phases of the model: the c's occur as we are "sustaining" in suffering, and the w's while we are "healing."
I thought the book a gracious, creative, poetic help. There are questions at the end of each chapter for reflection, and that is the act which this book most produces: reflection. This is not a comprehensive guide or a theological compendium on pain, but rather a kind companion on the path of suffering.
In God's Healing for Life's Losses, Dr. Kellemen rewrites Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's popular five-step "Model of the Grief Process"--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance--by using Scripture instead of naked research and reason. The consequence is an eight-step ("step" being used very loosely, these are not experienced one after the other) biblical model of suffering, or "Biblical sufferology," as he calls it.
The steps or stages of this biblical model are: candor, complaint, cry, comfort, waiting, wailing, weaving, worshiping. The alliteration indicates the two broader phases of the model: the c's occur as we are "sustaining" in suffering, and the w's while we are "healing."
I thought the book a gracious, creative, poetic help. There are questions at the end of each chapter for reflection, and that is the act which this book most produces: reflection. This is not a comprehensive guide or a theological compendium on pain, but rather a kind companion on the path of suffering.
February 19, 2025
A compassionate, Biblically wise approach to grieving. I appreciated how the author walked readers through the world’s grieving process, and contrasted it with Biblical grieving steps, which can somehow (praise God) result in worship. The thought-provoking questions for journaling and reflection at the end of each chapter were helpful as well. I recommend this book to anyone who finds themself in any stage of the grieving or suffering process.
June 21, 2010
GOD’S HEALING FOR LIFE’S LOSSES may be small in size but it’s packed full. As I held this little book in my hand and studied the cover, and the title I thought I knew what I’d find inside. Once I began to read, I quickly discovered this book was much more then a book on healing for life’s losses. It’s a book filled with knowledge, hope, love, and faith. A way of dealing with not only death but disappointment on many levels in a way that God desires.
In only a little over a hundred pages this book brought to light many things. It made me realize how human, and normal I am, and how God, and being a Christian plays into it. That what we go through is “normal” but how we handle it is a choice. We can either choose the wrong way/mans way, or the right way/God’s way.
How do you handle trials and tribulations that come your way? Do you suffer, or do you survive? I was able to reflect back on my life and realized that early on, when I was far from God, I chose to suffer alone. Now I chose to survive. I can think of many that are still choosing to suffer.
I believe this book would be an amazing tool for those stuck in suffering, and worthlessness, and despair. Those that have been struck down by addiction, or found themselves behind bars. They need to hear the good news this book has to offer.
One of the many things that stuck out to me was that not only are we given permission to “complain to God” but that we should. God wants us to come to Him in ALL things. So much of what I read is exactly what I’ve experienced in my own life. This book puts it into words, and reaffirms what I already knew deep down. What a blessings that is.
It isn’t often that I wish to be rich for as the Bible says, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” but after reading this book I wish I had the funds to purchase this wonderful book for those in my life, as well as all those that cross my path that I fear are hurt, and suffering.
Not only is this book filled with great information, it also has handy worksheets. Each and every one is packed with amazing questions. It’s not just a worksheet; it gives you questions to ponder within your own life, thus giving you the knowledge and tools to better your future.
Everyone’s grief journey is unique, yet we all have the same choice. To either choose to suffer in handling things mans way, or surviving, doing it God’s way. For me the choice is easy. I’ve learned over the years the rewards of doing it God’s way. Bless Mr. Kellemen for putting this book together to teach those that don’t know, and to remind those of us that do, the importance of it.
I was shocked by the words on page 43. I’d gone through this very thing without even realizing it. How wonderful it is to have a confirmation of what I’d gone through, other have as well, and how blessed I am to have chosen the surviving rout when so many others have not.
Here are just a few great quotes from this wonderful book.
“Faith looks back to the past recalling God’s mighty works. Hope looks ahead remembering God’s coming reward.”
“God is a ‘time God.’ He does not come before time. He does not come after time. He comes at just the right time.”
“Faith is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective.”
“Every problem is an opportunity to know God better, and our primary battle is to know God well.”
I could certainly continue to quote the words written in this book that impacted, and inspired me but in doing so, I’d have written every word from front to cover.
Knowing the truth has a huge way of lifting the heavy burden of life from ones shoulder. This is truly one of those “must reads’ to be placed on your “to read list”.
In only a little over a hundred pages this book brought to light many things. It made me realize how human, and normal I am, and how God, and being a Christian plays into it. That what we go through is “normal” but how we handle it is a choice. We can either choose the wrong way/mans way, or the right way/God’s way.
How do you handle trials and tribulations that come your way? Do you suffer, or do you survive? I was able to reflect back on my life and realized that early on, when I was far from God, I chose to suffer alone. Now I chose to survive. I can think of many that are still choosing to suffer.
I believe this book would be an amazing tool for those stuck in suffering, and worthlessness, and despair. Those that have been struck down by addiction, or found themselves behind bars. They need to hear the good news this book has to offer.
One of the many things that stuck out to me was that not only are we given permission to “complain to God” but that we should. God wants us to come to Him in ALL things. So much of what I read is exactly what I’ve experienced in my own life. This book puts it into words, and reaffirms what I already knew deep down. What a blessings that is.
It isn’t often that I wish to be rich for as the Bible says, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” but after reading this book I wish I had the funds to purchase this wonderful book for those in my life, as well as all those that cross my path that I fear are hurt, and suffering.
Not only is this book filled with great information, it also has handy worksheets. Each and every one is packed with amazing questions. It’s not just a worksheet; it gives you questions to ponder within your own life, thus giving you the knowledge and tools to better your future.
Everyone’s grief journey is unique, yet we all have the same choice. To either choose to suffer in handling things mans way, or surviving, doing it God’s way. For me the choice is easy. I’ve learned over the years the rewards of doing it God’s way. Bless Mr. Kellemen for putting this book together to teach those that don’t know, and to remind those of us that do, the importance of it.
I was shocked by the words on page 43. I’d gone through this very thing without even realizing it. How wonderful it is to have a confirmation of what I’d gone through, other have as well, and how blessed I am to have chosen the surviving rout when so many others have not.
Here are just a few great quotes from this wonderful book.
“Faith looks back to the past recalling God’s mighty works. Hope looks ahead remembering God’s coming reward.”
“God is a ‘time God.’ He does not come before time. He does not come after time. He comes at just the right time.”
“Faith is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective.”
“Every problem is an opportunity to know God better, and our primary battle is to know God well.”
I could certainly continue to quote the words written in this book that impacted, and inspired me but in doing so, I’d have written every word from front to cover.
Knowing the truth has a huge way of lifting the heavy burden of life from ones shoulder. This is truly one of those “must reads’ to be placed on your “to read list”.
July 4, 2023
Kellemen's writes of the nature of God’s use of death and suffering for the purpose of relational reunion with man and man’s proper worship of God. When life is prosperous and man has no need of God, man will not draw near to Him. Rather, he will become more and more self-reliant and self-sufficient, not seeing his desperate need for God.
I especially appreciated the explanations of Jeremiah’s reference to broken cisterns. I understand this concept much more as it relates to the context of worshiping and drawing our sustenance from Him and not false idols that hold no water.
At first, I struggled with the presence of the typical grief responses from psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, in On Death and Dying, which popularized a five-stage model of grieving based upon her research into how terminally ill persons respond to the news of their terminal illness. I was concerned that the prominence and momentum would be in consideration of the secular perspective first, which would be out of character for Robert Kellemen. However, the thrust, prominence, and sufficiency of this work is scriptural. It is understandable in a work that
seeks to respond to the realities of real, felt sufferings, would include typically presumed descriptions of general responses to suffering.
I have generally viewed complaints as wrong and sinful. I had put all the complaints in one basket marked "sin." This book challenged me that I was failing to see the different kinds of
complaints described in Scripture. I do appreciate Kellemen distinguishing these two aspects of complaints. Having known this distinction would have helped my parenting or at least helped by kids. A godly complaint agrees with God about the nature of a wrong as it is experienced; being
honest to God about the pain, hurt, and difficulty one is in. Rather than angrily accusing or cursing God for his allowing problems or evil, biblical complaint constructively pursues honesty with God about the reality of wrong in a fallen world. “Ungodly complaint complains about God
and accuses Him of lacking goodness, holiness, and wisdom” (50). We are to, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Ps. 62:8)
The insight of connecting suffering and death as separation or severing of relationships, impacted my thinking. The tendency of sufferers to isolate (or disconnect) themselves further
challenges me to be more intentional in pursuing the sufferer and connecting the sufferer with advocates that will engage them.
I especially appreciated the explanations of Jeremiah’s reference to broken cisterns. I understand this concept much more as it relates to the context of worshiping and drawing our sustenance from Him and not false idols that hold no water.
At first, I struggled with the presence of the typical grief responses from psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, in On Death and Dying, which popularized a five-stage model of grieving based upon her research into how terminally ill persons respond to the news of their terminal illness. I was concerned that the prominence and momentum would be in consideration of the secular perspective first, which would be out of character for Robert Kellemen. However, the thrust, prominence, and sufficiency of this work is scriptural. It is understandable in a work that
seeks to respond to the realities of real, felt sufferings, would include typically presumed descriptions of general responses to suffering.
I have generally viewed complaints as wrong and sinful. I had put all the complaints in one basket marked "sin." This book challenged me that I was failing to see the different kinds of
complaints described in Scripture. I do appreciate Kellemen distinguishing these two aspects of complaints. Having known this distinction would have helped my parenting or at least helped by kids. A godly complaint agrees with God about the nature of a wrong as it is experienced; being
honest to God about the pain, hurt, and difficulty one is in. Rather than angrily accusing or cursing God for his allowing problems or evil, biblical complaint constructively pursues honesty with God about the reality of wrong in a fallen world. “Ungodly complaint complains about God
and accuses Him of lacking goodness, holiness, and wisdom” (50). We are to, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Ps. 62:8)
The insight of connecting suffering and death as separation or severing of relationships, impacted my thinking. The tendency of sufferers to isolate (or disconnect) themselves further
challenges me to be more intentional in pursuing the sufferer and connecting the sufferer with advocates that will engage them.
June 8, 2023
Excellent.
Some significant points:
The nature of death as the separation of relationships was something I had not thought deeply about before. That this is the basis of grieving is significant. Every departure from what is good and right is a severing or death from it.
The nature of God’s use of death and suffering for the purpose of relational reunion with man and man’s proper worship of God was refreshing. When life is prosperous and man has no need of God, man will not draw near to Him. Rather, he will become more and more self-reliant and self-sufficient, not seeing his desperate need for God.
I especially appreciated the explanations of Jeremiah’s reference to broken cisterns versus the fresh spring of the Lord. I understand this concept much more as it relates to the context of worshiping and drawing our sustenance from Him and not false idols that hold no water.
Some significant points:
The nature of death as the separation of relationships was something I had not thought deeply about before. That this is the basis of grieving is significant. Every departure from what is good and right is a severing or death from it.
The nature of God’s use of death and suffering for the purpose of relational reunion with man and man’s proper worship of God was refreshing. When life is prosperous and man has no need of God, man will not draw near to Him. Rather, he will become more and more self-reliant and self-sufficient, not seeing his desperate need for God.
I especially appreciated the explanations of Jeremiah’s reference to broken cisterns versus the fresh spring of the Lord. I understand this concept much more as it relates to the context of worshiping and drawing our sustenance from Him and not false idols that hold no water.
August 24, 2024
His list of stages seemed rather arbitrary and entirely too neat. Alliteration may be helpful for memorization but generally doesn’t cut it in the complexity of life.
Is it true that worship is “wanting God more than wanting relief” or “walking with God in the dark”? That may be one aspect of seeing the worth of God, but it certainly isn’t an exhaustive definition. This is an example of my big complaint with this book: it takes a point and makes it the Defining Thing. Sure, the point may be part of the thing, but it’s not the entirety of the thing.
Is it true that worship is “wanting God more than wanting relief” or “walking with God in the dark”? That may be one aspect of seeing the worth of God, but it certainly isn’t an exhaustive definition. This is an example of my big complaint with this book: it takes a point and makes it the Defining Thing. Sure, the point may be part of the thing, but it’s not the entirety of the thing.
October 7, 2024
Wonderful book for dealing with grief biblically. It will be one that I will recommend to any Christian dealing with grief or helping someone else deal with their grief. Kellemen does well speaking of the differences between secular grief and godly grief. He also provides a great workbook to go through your own experiences and measure where you are with grief. The scriptures he provides are very thought provoking and solid.
June 3, 2025
Proof that a book can be better than its cover! :) Kellemen takes secular psychology’s stages of grief and helpfully contrasts them with biblical responses to suffering. He maintains a gentle tone and provides journaling prompts after each brief chapter. I certainly recommend! Could be very helpful to work through with a friend or mentor.
July 9, 2025
Excellent little book on how to work through losses that we will all inevitably face in this life. Kelleman argues (briefly) that the traditional paradigm that many of us know of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are truly inadequate and do not have a biblical worldview (not surprising). Kelleman works through alternatives and truly gives hope, not just acceptance.
October 2, 2022
Life means relationships and loss, death is the end of relationships. Whether it is divorce, death, abuse, loss of any kind this book will help you either work through it yourself or help someone else in a sensible, biblical way. Brokenness is all around us. Read this and be blessed.
February 2, 2019
An excellent study for anyone experiencing grief and/or despair. I especially liked how the author explained related scriptures and how they applied to the grieving process.
December 23, 2020
This book was helpful to me in many ways. Sometimes repetative.
January 2, 2022
This helpful book shapes your theology of suffering!
January 21, 2023
Worth reading thru slowly and thoughtfully completing the exercises in each chapter. Anticipate referring to this book for help to give and receive when suffering and/or loss comes.
June 25, 2010
“A book complete on grief, loss, and despair that encourages the reader to seek God as their source of healing.”
Bob Kellemen has compiled an exceptional resource in God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting.
Beginning with identifying grief (the stages and statistics) and moving on to the deeper subjects of how to move oneself from loss to victory by pointing to the Great Physician.
The sections of this book I found particularly interesting were the ones that focused on being honest with God in the tough times of life.
Friendship and love are essential in meaningful relationships. Being honest with God means freedom to be candid and complain, to be open with our deepest thoughts and feelings, and to allow God to shape us through the hard times in life and move us to a new experience of worship.
Times of pain, hurt, and loss come to all of us. Growing through these times is what this book is all about. The saying ‘Pain is inevitable, growth is optional‘ is relative to the instruction contained in this book. Dr. Kellemen directs the reader how to grow through times of suffering and press on to discover a new, deeper relationship with our Creator.
A great resource written by an experienced Christian Counselor who includes personal accounts of periods of grief and sadness in his own life, I would recommend it highly.
Disclaimer:
The review copy of this book was provided free of charge by Bob Kellemen and donated to the library of Westwood Baptist Church.
Reviewed by: Keiki Hendrix
Reviewed for: Bob Kellemen
Bob Kellemen has compiled an exceptional resource in God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting.
Beginning with identifying grief (the stages and statistics) and moving on to the deeper subjects of how to move oneself from loss to victory by pointing to the Great Physician.
The sections of this book I found particularly interesting were the ones that focused on being honest with God in the tough times of life.
Friendship and love are essential in meaningful relationships. Being honest with God means freedom to be candid and complain, to be open with our deepest thoughts and feelings, and to allow God to shape us through the hard times in life and move us to a new experience of worship.
Times of pain, hurt, and loss come to all of us. Growing through these times is what this book is all about. The saying ‘Pain is inevitable, growth is optional‘ is relative to the instruction contained in this book. Dr. Kellemen directs the reader how to grow through times of suffering and press on to discover a new, deeper relationship with our Creator.
A great resource written by an experienced Christian Counselor who includes personal accounts of periods of grief and sadness in his own life, I would recommend it highly.
Disclaimer:
The review copy of this book was provided free of charge by Bob Kellemen and donated to the library of Westwood Baptist Church.
Reviewed by: Keiki Hendrix
Reviewed for: Bob Kellemen
August 20, 2011
Excellent book! Meets you where you are in your grief cycle and guides you to genuinely, in the raw, connect with God to healing. Not a long book, but very impactful!
The two biggest spiritual goals I gleaned from this book are as follows:
1) To repent from ungodly complaint to Biblical compliant where I lament with God about my losses and the fallen world as opposed to accusing God of a perceived lack of goodness, love and wisdom.
2) To better understand God's promises to us about deliverance, blessings and peace in order to have realistic expectations about my earthly life and heavenly hope regardless.
Haven't finished the book yet ... 2 more chapters!
The two biggest spiritual goals I gleaned from this book are as follows:
1) To repent from ungodly complaint to Biblical compliant where I lament with God about my losses and the fallen world as opposed to accusing God of a perceived lack of goodness, love and wisdom.
2) To better understand God's promises to us about deliverance, blessings and peace in order to have realistic expectations about my earthly life and heavenly hope regardless.
Haven't finished the book yet ... 2 more chapters!
November 15, 2016
I may add to this review since I found the book wonderfully useful in my ministry but for now I'll say this right from the Griefshare endorsement:
1. The book, comforts you with biblical truth without trivializing your pain.
2. The book helps you reinterpret your grief experiences in ways that make you more aware of God's role in your healing.
3. The book helps you discover how to experience deep healing and lasting peace in a world of suffering and pain.
The person who takes the book seriously will find their nose in the Bible as the place to find answers for their grief and sorrow. As a certified biblical counselor (ACBC, IABC) I give the book 5 stars.
1. The book, comforts you with biblical truth without trivializing your pain.
2. The book helps you reinterpret your grief experiences in ways that make you more aware of God's role in your healing.
3. The book helps you discover how to experience deep healing and lasting peace in a world of suffering and pain.
The person who takes the book seriously will find their nose in the Bible as the place to find answers for their grief and sorrow. As a certified biblical counselor (ACBC, IABC) I give the book 5 stars.
April 11, 2016
This little book is very good! Aside from introducing a biblical perspective to grief, it also provides the reader with personal journaling questions as well as journaling questions that are reactions to Scripture. This is a book I highlighted/underline quite a bit, and will be revisiting, as the process of grief is rarely linear. I highly recommend this!
January 3, 2015
This book is helpful because it shifts from the 'typical' stages of grief to more biblical stages and in so doing points toward hope and purpose in grief. I don't know that it hit me exactly where I'm at in grieving the loss of my father, but it was helpful and I can see it being helpful to many.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews