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Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community
2010 Outreach Magazine Resource of the Year Award culture category2010 Golden Canon Leadership Book Award winnerRelevant Top 20 Best Overall Books of 2009 winnerEnglewood Review of Top 20 Best Overall Books of 2009 winnerChristian Manifesto 2009 Lime Award winnerAndrew Marin's life changed forever when his three best friends came out to him in three consecutive months. Suddenly he was confronted with the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community (GLBT) firsthand. And he was compelled to understand how he could reconcile his friends to his faith.In an attempt to answer that question, he and his wife relocated to Boystown, a predominantly GLBT community in Chicago. And from his experience and wrestling has come his book, Love Is an Orientation, a work which elevates the conversation between Christianity and the GLBT community, moving the focus from genetics to gospel, where it really belongs. Why are so many people who are gay wary of people who are Christians? Do GLBT people need to change who they are? Do Christians need to change what they believe? Love Is an Orientation is changing the conversation about sexuality and spirituality, and building bridges from the GLBT community to the Christian community and, more importantly, to the good news of Jesus Christ.
206 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 25, 2009
94 people are currently reading
1028 people want to read
About the author
Andrew Marin
10 books11 followersWhile working towards a doctorate degree at Moody Graduate School, Andrew P. Marin, founded The Marin Foundation a non-profit organization that seeks to build bridges between the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender (GLBT) and religious communities. He and his wife, Brenda, live in the Boystown neighborhood of Chicago.
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July 29, 2011
I read both the advance screener copy provided me by InterVarsity Press and the finished copy. Thoroughly disappointing. The book tries to be friendly to LGBT people but the discrimination (or limitations by the publisher) shows through.
The author routinely insists that Christians (whom he defines as straight) must love "the GLBT community" without an agenda, without expectation that they will change. Though, toward the end of the book, he notes that after years and years of loving on a gay friend and thinking that friend would never change, said friend decides to not be gay anymore. What a nice anecdote.
The other portrayals of "GLBT" people (though, the book is largely about gay men, not really LGBT people) are flat and predictable: the closeted, married pastor; the drug-addicted, depressed club boy. Yes, these very well may be real people that the author interacts, but if you are going to write and publish a book, you have an obligation to serious scholarship to present more than the limited people you expose yourself to in one neighborhood (Boystown) of Chicago.
I left dirty after. Like someone repackaged "Love the sinner, hate the sin" and spent an entire book condescending to me... and then I'm supposed to thank them for being so open-minded. Perhaps this book would have been revolutionary a few decades ago, but today, it's not only unhelpful, it's hurtful because it gives well-intentioned people even more reason to continue "loving" LGBT people while still thinking they are sick and sinful... and impossible situation.
The author routinely insists that Christians (whom he defines as straight) must love "the GLBT community" without an agenda, without expectation that they will change. Though, toward the end of the book, he notes that after years and years of loving on a gay friend and thinking that friend would never change, said friend decides to not be gay anymore. What a nice anecdote.
The other portrayals of "GLBT" people (though, the book is largely about gay men, not really LGBT people) are flat and predictable: the closeted, married pastor; the drug-addicted, depressed club boy. Yes, these very well may be real people that the author interacts, but if you are going to write and publish a book, you have an obligation to serious scholarship to present more than the limited people you expose yourself to in one neighborhood (Boystown) of Chicago.
I left dirty after. Like someone repackaged "Love the sinner, hate the sin" and spent an entire book condescending to me... and then I'm supposed to thank them for being so open-minded. Perhaps this book would have been revolutionary a few decades ago, but today, it's not only unhelpful, it's hurtful because it gives well-intentioned people even more reason to continue "loving" LGBT people while still thinking they are sick and sinful... and impossible situation.
March 6, 2012
I am not the intended audience for this book. I am a lesbian who has always been perfectly content in my identity. I didn't appreciate the condescending and patronizing way he viewed homosexuality. It seemed like his only purpose of making any attempt to understand gay people was to convert them to his view of christianity. I think this book could actually do harm to LGBT people who struggle with their identity and their religious beliefs.
The only redeeming thing about this book is that it is by an evangelical minister who isn't advocating aggressive hate for gay people.
The only redeeming thing about this book is that it is by an evangelical minister who isn't advocating aggressive hate for gay people.
April 1, 2014
I am shocked and perplexed by all the positive reviews I'm reading. This book is rubbish. It is an anti-intellectual, emotions-manipulating fraud of a book that makes one clear point: Andrew Marin is a hack who lacks even the basic ability to interpret a Biblical text.
For the record: I have no sympathies for the way conservative Christians have regarded homosexual men and women in the recent past. The Jerry Falwells and Pat Robertsons of the previous generation were not speaking for the Apostle Paul when they singled out homosexuals as the worst of sinners. So my objections to Marin's book and the foundation it represents are not a rear guard action that is trying to defend the status quo.
All of my objections are based on the book's dreadful theology and embarrassing treatment of the relevant Scripture (relevant as decided by Marin, who completely ignores Genesis 1 and 2 and the NT use of these chapters). Indeed, the book is entirely based on Marin's supposedly God-directed pilgrimage to enlightenment to start a foundation that ... what? builds bridges? No wonder Marin appeals to special revelation at crucial turning points in the story when he confronts obstacles! There is no such ministry in the Scriptures.
That Marin speaks the language of Evangelical gibberish should be no surprise. He knows his audience. But that his Evangelical audience can endure his handling of the Scripture is a scandal. One of the most basic features of Evangelicalism is a belief that God's Word is inspired and inerrant. So why do those who like the book so much calmly accept Marin's ham-handed way of handling it? Why did IVP, with its good reputation, allow this to go through? Marin represents not only the arrival of a post-modern reading of Scripture; he represents its broad acceptance.
The heavily Americanized Christian Church erred badly when it created a sin taxonomy that made some sins acceptable (accumulating vast amounts of wealth) and others unfit for human society (homosexual behavior). This distorts the Gospel. If I give Marin the benefit of the doubt, I can say his intentions were good; he was trying to correct earlier Christian failures. But instead of bringing the matter back into Biblical perspective, he ended up making hash out of the Biblical texts. But I'm reluctant to give him the benefit of the doubt. He has added one more self-named, money-making foundation that functions outside of any church oversight. Recently, he is having private talks with Jesus, who is coaching him on how he should deal with "persecution," which includes the efforts of honest Christian people who critique his irresponsible treatment of Scripture. Aren't Christians tired of self-anointed "leaders" who have private conversations with God and thus place themselves beyond the reach of any church authority?
Marin has rediscovered an American Evangelical axiom: There's a sucker born every minute.
For the record: I have no sympathies for the way conservative Christians have regarded homosexual men and women in the recent past. The Jerry Falwells and Pat Robertsons of the previous generation were not speaking for the Apostle Paul when they singled out homosexuals as the worst of sinners. So my objections to Marin's book and the foundation it represents are not a rear guard action that is trying to defend the status quo.
All of my objections are based on the book's dreadful theology and embarrassing treatment of the relevant Scripture (relevant as decided by Marin, who completely ignores Genesis 1 and 2 and the NT use of these chapters). Indeed, the book is entirely based on Marin's supposedly God-directed pilgrimage to enlightenment to start a foundation that ... what? builds bridges? No wonder Marin appeals to special revelation at crucial turning points in the story when he confronts obstacles! There is no such ministry in the Scriptures.
That Marin speaks the language of Evangelical gibberish should be no surprise. He knows his audience. But that his Evangelical audience can endure his handling of the Scripture is a scandal. One of the most basic features of Evangelicalism is a belief that God's Word is inspired and inerrant. So why do those who like the book so much calmly accept Marin's ham-handed way of handling it? Why did IVP, with its good reputation, allow this to go through? Marin represents not only the arrival of a post-modern reading of Scripture; he represents its broad acceptance.
The heavily Americanized Christian Church erred badly when it created a sin taxonomy that made some sins acceptable (accumulating vast amounts of wealth) and others unfit for human society (homosexual behavior). This distorts the Gospel. If I give Marin the benefit of the doubt, I can say his intentions were good; he was trying to correct earlier Christian failures. But instead of bringing the matter back into Biblical perspective, he ended up making hash out of the Biblical texts. But I'm reluctant to give him the benefit of the doubt. He has added one more self-named, money-making foundation that functions outside of any church oversight. Recently, he is having private talks with Jesus, who is coaching him on how he should deal with "persecution," which includes the efforts of honest Christian people who critique his irresponsible treatment of Scripture. Aren't Christians tired of self-anointed "leaders" who have private conversations with God and thus place themselves beyond the reach of any church authority?
Marin has rediscovered an American Evangelical axiom: There's a sucker born every minute.
October 1, 2010
Like the Ragamuffin Gospel, I found I learn a lot from this book, and not just about the GLBT community and how Andrew Marin encourages us to work with him building a bridge with that community. I learn a lot about myself and how I view the world and how I think God views the world. This is a very good book, a very honest book, and a great message for my generation.
One of my favorite quotes from the book actually comes from the forward by Brian McLaren:
I found this book challenging and grace-filled at the same time. Andrew Marin believes the Bible and does not compromise those beliefs; he acts on them. I would recommend this book to anyone who believes the Bible is the inspired word of God and wants to think about what that means for Christians in America today, where GLBT issues are front and center in what is routinely seen as a culture war.
This book was also important to me along a dimension I think more and more about these days: what is my responsibility when I disagree with someone about something I think is important? Remembering that God is the judge, that the Holy Spirit convicts, and I am called to love is a good plan no matter what the issue. Also, we live in a world of objective truth, despite what post-modern America would like to think. There is a right, there is a wrong. God knows what those are, we think we understand what those are, but we may not. Even if we are right, we don't need to defend ourselves or God--He can take care of Himself.
One of my favorite quotes from the book actually comes from the forward by Brian McLaren:
Whatever your opinion on same-sex orientation, you have to admit that Jesus didn't say 'They'll know you are my disciples by your firm stance on divisive social issues.' No, he said we'll be known as his disciples for another reason...and that's what Andrew is pursing in these pages.
I found this book challenging and grace-filled at the same time. Andrew Marin believes the Bible and does not compromise those beliefs; he acts on them. I would recommend this book to anyone who believes the Bible is the inspired word of God and wants to think about what that means for Christians in America today, where GLBT issues are front and center in what is routinely seen as a culture war.
This book was also important to me along a dimension I think more and more about these days: what is my responsibility when I disagree with someone about something I think is important? Remembering that God is the judge, that the Holy Spirit convicts, and I am called to love is a good plan no matter what the issue. Also, we live in a world of objective truth, despite what post-modern America would like to think. There is a right, there is a wrong. God knows what those are, we think we understand what those are, but we may not. Even if we are right, we don't need to defend ourselves or God--He can take care of Himself.
October 6, 2009
Love is an Orientation is written by an avowed conservative Christian man who attempts to come to terms with his understanding of Scripture in light of his friends and neighbors (he lives in a highly GLBT area in Chicago) as they come out to him. Marin weaves stories of interactions among exegetical research and thought that he has done, and that he has seen demonstrated through other thinkers. Although in the end Marin does not seem to buy into the liberal Christian biblical arguments supporting homosexuality, he concludes that a Christian's ultimate responsibility is to love others accepting them as they are (therefore do not try to change or convert), and that judgment belongs to God and ultimately does not involve humanity.
I borrowed this book from my friend Roberta and I appreciated the thoughtfulness of it. I suppose I would rate it 3.5 stars. Coming from a more liberal viewpoint, and having read many books on the subject, I think I was a bit disappointed in the author's seeming lack of serious consideration of the liberal biblical arguments (which he intentionally gives a brief overview, leaving that work to more serious theological writing). Additionally, I thought that the writing was so-so and, even though one of the book's great strengths is the enormous compendium of real-life interactions he has with members of the GLBT community, I thought that those examples came off from time to time as boasting.
I think what I really appreciate about this book is the author's desire to overcome this issue that divides Christians, and I think that his suggestion that we should be concerned with God's directive to love is an appropriate response that will surely take our whole lives to perfect.
I borrowed this book from my friend Roberta and I appreciated the thoughtfulness of it. I suppose I would rate it 3.5 stars. Coming from a more liberal viewpoint, and having read many books on the subject, I think I was a bit disappointed in the author's seeming lack of serious consideration of the liberal biblical arguments (which he intentionally gives a brief overview, leaving that work to more serious theological writing). Additionally, I thought that the writing was so-so and, even though one of the book's great strengths is the enormous compendium of real-life interactions he has with members of the GLBT community, I thought that those examples came off from time to time as boasting.
I think what I really appreciate about this book is the author's desire to overcome this issue that divides Christians, and I think that his suggestion that we should be concerned with God's directive to love is an appropriate response that will surely take our whole lives to perfect.
June 13, 2010
It's entirely possible that I shouldn't be reviewing this book on the same evening I finished it; after all, this short book took me much longer than I had anticipated to finish off based on how much thinking I did on its content in the process of reading it.
So I think I'll be brief.
If you're a pastor, minister, church leader, or follower of Jesus who cares deeply about seeing all of humanity restored and reconciled to God, please read this book. It stands heads and heels above many I have read on the topic of Christianity and homosexuality as of late. Andrew Marin is someone who has been working in the trenches with the GLBT community for years and his knowledge, compassion, and love for the community are refreshing change of pace from other works on the topic that are filled with the theoretical and postulatory.
I may be walking away from the book with more questions than answers, but I know this for certain: never in my life have I been as excited and prepared to share my faith with a community of people who have been unfairly ostracized for too long.
So I think I'll be brief.
If you're a pastor, minister, church leader, or follower of Jesus who cares deeply about seeing all of humanity restored and reconciled to God, please read this book. It stands heads and heels above many I have read on the topic of Christianity and homosexuality as of late. Andrew Marin is someone who has been working in the trenches with the GLBT community for years and his knowledge, compassion, and love for the community are refreshing change of pace from other works on the topic that are filled with the theoretical and postulatory.
I may be walking away from the book with more questions than answers, but I know this for certain: never in my life have I been as excited and prepared to share my faith with a community of people who have been unfairly ostracized for too long.
November 15, 2018
Andrew Marin's work in and with the LGBT community is significant and valuable and this book left me with a greater burden to engage with the LGBT community. However, he intentionally, and explicitly, avoids giving straight (pun unintended) answers to the "tough questions" and the "big five" relevant biblical passages. Though he is attempting to model how Christ answered questions, which I appreciate, this style comes off as evasive. I understand you can't throw bible verses around, or physical bibles, all the time, but this evasiveness leaves the reader uneasy on where to stand on what the goal is for walking with LGBT people through there same-sex attraction.
His chapter where he addresses the biblical text has extremely little interaction with the text itself and leaves one unprepared on how to wisely interact with those texts with an LGBT person.
The best part of the book is probably the appendix where he records a variety of testimonies from gay Christians. The last of the testimonies is by far, I believe, the most helpful part of the entire book. I wish that Marin would have spoken this concretely on the whole issue.
Overall, I am glad I read this book to gain a better context for this conversations that is on the forefront of society. As I said, I finished reading this book with a greater desire to engage well with the LGBT community. My only wish is that Marin would have actually communicated more clearly about his position, though that is not the intention of the book.
His chapter where he addresses the biblical text has extremely little interaction with the text itself and leaves one unprepared on how to wisely interact with those texts with an LGBT person.
The best part of the book is probably the appendix where he records a variety of testimonies from gay Christians. The last of the testimonies is by far, I believe, the most helpful part of the entire book. I wish that Marin would have spoken this concretely on the whole issue.
Overall, I am glad I read this book to gain a better context for this conversations that is on the forefront of society. As I said, I finished reading this book with a greater desire to engage well with the LGBT community. My only wish is that Marin would have actually communicated more clearly about his position, though that is not the intention of the book.
August 11, 2011
Andrew Marin has written one of the most illuminating and challenging books of the year, pressing his finger in on a sore spot in the side of Christianity with Love Is an Orientation. The church's relationship with the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender community (or lack thereof) has been a black eye for us and a favorite straw man for anyone wanting to bash the church.
I found myself agreeing more often than not with Marin's approach and reasoning, attempting to "elevate the conversation" rather than cut it short. One insightful point was that both the GLBT and fundamentalist communities will often ask closed-ended questions in order to force you to simply "pick a side" in the fight. (Questions like: Do you think homosexuality is a sin? Do you think that someone can be gay and Christian? Are GLBT people going to hell? Hint: there are better answers than a simple "yes" or "no".)
While I agreed and resonated with his approach to love, accept, and build relationships with the GLBT community, there was one full chapter with which I could not agree. When it came time to finally address the passages in the Bible about homosexuality (or the Big 5 as he called them), he considered the particulars, interpreted them into an overarching principle, and then ignored the particulars. In this way, he never addressed the individual verses themselves, bypassing them in a sort of contextual paraphrase with the surrounding verses.
I do feel that Andrew Marin soft-pedalled more than necessary around the homosexuality as sin issue. Since I work in the travel industry, I spend a lot of time around hotel and airline employees where the GLBT percentage is higher than average. Yet I am baffled by the need to treat them any different than any of my other co-workers. I work with one guy who is living with his girlfriend. I work with another who is rumored to be having an affair. Yet I do not feel compelled to go all "fire and brimstone" on them about their sexual deviance. While I am not softening in my mind the fact that they are sinners and in practicing sin, that sin is peripheral when it comes to my relationship with and evangelism towards them. I love my co-workers, I care for them, I want them all to see the superiority and beauty of Jesus. I want them all to believe on Him for salvation.
While Marin (in my opinion) at times erred too far on the side of diplomacy, perhaps he is a product of fundamentalism erring too far in the opposite direction for far too long. This is an important work for the Christian church, not always for the answers he gives, but for the questions he raises and the dialogue he starts.
I found myself agreeing more often than not with Marin's approach and reasoning, attempting to "elevate the conversation" rather than cut it short. One insightful point was that both the GLBT and fundamentalist communities will often ask closed-ended questions in order to force you to simply "pick a side" in the fight. (Questions like: Do you think homosexuality is a sin? Do you think that someone can be gay and Christian? Are GLBT people going to hell? Hint: there are better answers than a simple "yes" or "no".)
While I agreed and resonated with his approach to love, accept, and build relationships with the GLBT community, there was one full chapter with which I could not agree. When it came time to finally address the passages in the Bible about homosexuality (or the Big 5 as he called them), he considered the particulars, interpreted them into an overarching principle, and then ignored the particulars. In this way, he never addressed the individual verses themselves, bypassing them in a sort of contextual paraphrase with the surrounding verses.
I do feel that Andrew Marin soft-pedalled more than necessary around the homosexuality as sin issue. Since I work in the travel industry, I spend a lot of time around hotel and airline employees where the GLBT percentage is higher than average. Yet I am baffled by the need to treat them any different than any of my other co-workers. I work with one guy who is living with his girlfriend. I work with another who is rumored to be having an affair. Yet I do not feel compelled to go all "fire and brimstone" on them about their sexual deviance. While I am not softening in my mind the fact that they are sinners and in practicing sin, that sin is peripheral when it comes to my relationship with and evangelism towards them. I love my co-workers, I care for them, I want them all to see the superiority and beauty of Jesus. I want them all to believe on Him for salvation.
While Marin (in my opinion) at times erred too far on the side of diplomacy, perhaps he is a product of fundamentalism erring too far in the opposite direction for far too long. This is an important work for the Christian church, not always for the answers he gives, but for the questions he raises and the dialogue he starts.
Read
August 3, 2011I gave this book 5 stars, not because it was entertaining (it was anything but that), but because it was engaging. It is a book about how Conservative Evangelical Christians can open up a dialog and build a bridge to the GLBT community. The author has spent the last nine years living with, building relationships, and ministering to this community sharing with them the love of Christ (and yes he is a straight, evangelical christian). The book does not give any definitive answers, but it shows how to begin the journey. It was challenging, provocative, heart-tugging, scary, intelligent book that leaves you thinking about a lot and wanting more than anything to build bridges with those who believe that Christians are not "for them". Can I recommend it? Absolutely, but don't read it if you don't want to have to think, question, challenge yourself or change. I didn't buy into everything he had to say, but he has definitely had an impact on my spiritual journey.
July 3, 2010
I couldn't help thinking that the best that this book has to offer is about 20 years too late. Nevertheless, it's better late than never. And while I don't want to fault the author for not going where he probably intended quite intentionally not to go, I would have like to see him press a little further into the issues of Christian communities wrestling with the question of whether homosexuality is a sin or not.
July 23, 2017
If you consider yourself a Christ-follower, be prepared to change the way you think. Have a posture of prayer and a teachable spirit when you read this book. It's eye-opening and challenging. I read this book at a friend's recommendation, because I want to love ALL people regardless of their orientation ,the way Jesus would, without compromising my Christian beliefs. Two of the most profound statements I read are: 1) The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality but wholeness and 2) it's God's job to judge, the Holy Spirit's job to convict and my job to love. There are 5 scriptures addressed that have been used to bash the gay community that the author believes can be used to build bridges instead. He has clearly done his research. I love that he places each scripture in context, giving the Greek translations of key words in those scriptures. He also cross references parallel scriptures. However, there are scriptures that aren't addressed, and I'm not sure why he left them out. Perhaps, we hold different view on the institution of marriage. None-the-less, Mr. Marin has given me plenty to pray and ponder over. My take away is the best thing I can do is love and guide them into an intimate relationship with the Lord: one that seeks Him above all else and hears His voice, while respecting them where they are on their journey. Let God be God! My job is to love! Love is an action.
January 13, 2021
I was assigned this book for one of my classes this semester. I'd never heard of it before, and honestly, I don't know if I would have chosen to read it even if I had. Not that I was opposed to the subject of sexuality and Christianity, but I just didn't realize it was something that I needed to read. Marin offers incredible insight into both sides of a relationship strife with conflict and tension: Christians and the GLBT community. Truthfully, I avoided thinking about the topic of homosexuality and Christianity because I didn't know how to answer the "hard questions." Instead of informing myself, I just lived in willful ignorance. That's not right, but it's what I did. I'm very appreciative for this book because it offered me a different perspective still grounded in Christian principles. Marin tries to move away from making this a close-ended, one-sided conversation to an open dialogue or "elevated conversation." I know not every Christian will pick up this book, but I will be recommending it to everyone regardless! I didn't know I "needed" to read it, and now I'm so glad that I did!
June 21, 2019
Andrew is a young man who established a ministry with the intent of building a bridge of relationship and communication between the LGBT community and Christians. His approach is to focus on Jesus and what it means to have a growing relationship with Him. This is a great thought, moving people towards Jesus and away from arguing about who is right and who is wrong. Arguing and trying to be right won’t bring people together, but Jesus will. Let’s focus on loving Jesus and each other and let the Holy Spirit convict people of sin.
July 23, 2019
I finished! Oh my goodness, what a ride. It took me a while because the content was so meaty.
I want to own this book. My friend lent it to me to read, and now I want my own copy so I can go back and re-read sections. This is definitely a gem. Highly recommend!
I want to own this book. My friend lent it to me to read, and now I want my own copy so I can go back and re-read sections. This is definitely a gem. Highly recommend!
February 3, 2017
Inconclusive in the best way possible. It doesn't try to answer the question of whether homosexuality is permissible by God or not. As Marin points out, there are over a hundred books that try to answer that question. But in a complicated controversy in which both sides have dug in their heels, Marin tries to make a way forward. So often we lose Jesus in the debates over context and the meanings of words in Greek. The ultimate goal of the church should not be to make everyone straight and married, but to make the appeal to everyone to be reconciled to God. The gospel, that through Christ everyone can have a restored relationship with God, is the only thing that matters, and Marin takes our myopic gaze off of the gay theology debate and onto the gospel. How can the gay community come to know Jesus if Christians are so good at turning them away from the church?
The toughest truth Marin presents is that it's not our job to convict or to change anyone. Instead, we are to surrender all of the work to God, and build bridges by simply loving people and humbly living life with them, so that we can relationally point them to the one thing they need: the gospel.
The toughest truth Marin presents is that it's not our job to convict or to change anyone. Instead, we are to surrender all of the work to God, and build bridges by simply loving people and humbly living life with them, so that we can relationally point them to the one thing they need: the gospel.
October 1, 2013
This book was recommended to me by a number of friends, some of whom heard Andrew Marin speak at a college event. I bought it on their recommendation, then it sat on my desk and on my shelf for a couple of years, until I picked it up and read it yesterday and today.
Marin's book is challenging and helpful, seeking to find a way to bridge the divide between Evangelical Christianity and the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered community, a divide that has a long and storied history, and persists thanks to stereotypes and bad actions on both sides. Rightly so, Marin calls on Evangelicals to be the first to budge, asking us to listen, to repent of our bad actions and attitudes, and to actively look for ways to build connections with people who have long felt rejected by God.
Marin asks the provocative question of whether the top priority of Evangelicals relating to GLBT folks ought to be challenging their sexual orientation, or whether it ought to be introducing them to Jesus Christ, who loves them. I know that the answer many Evangelicals would give is, "both!" but the truth is, if we try to do both at the same time, the latter rarely seems to happen. GLBT folk come in to the conversation believing that God hates them, and that the Evangelical person hates them, and often begin talking (when they will talk at all) primed to bolt as soon as the "sin" word is mentioned.
Marin proposes that instead of answering closed-ended questions with the "yes" or "no" answers the questioner is looking for, Evangelicals pursue a strategy of listening to other people's stories, and broadening out the question beyond yes and no.
I'll be honest, that approach both appeals to me and frightens me. The appeal comes from its intention to treat people as people - and more than that, as people loved by God, and more than that, as people who are desperately seeking a relationship with God - and that is how I believe the Bible portrays them. But the Bible also portrays us all as people willing to keep blinders on in order to prevent God from actually taking control of our lives. Marin calls Evangelicals to respond in love, but I recognize that some times, love means being willing to say hard things. Still, from my work as a pastor and missionary over the last twenty years, I know that the "hard things" are rarely heard and responded to well unless there is a foundation of love and respect out of which they are said.
Marin addresses key questions that hover over every conversation about homosexuality and Christianity, and tackles the "Big 5" Bible passages that address homosexual activity. But in each case, he doesn't give a "yes" or "no" answer, instead opting to broaden the conversation to include deeper issues. This is both great AND problematic, as many reviewers have pointed out. Great, in that it allows the conversation to get to some of those broader issues, but problematic in that it can also feel slippery and dishonest if done primarily to avoid conflict or to obfuscate and temporize.
It's a book that's well worth reading, that raises more questions than it answers, and that challenged me, personally, on many levels.
Marin's book is challenging and helpful, seeking to find a way to bridge the divide between Evangelical Christianity and the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered community, a divide that has a long and storied history, and persists thanks to stereotypes and bad actions on both sides. Rightly so, Marin calls on Evangelicals to be the first to budge, asking us to listen, to repent of our bad actions and attitudes, and to actively look for ways to build connections with people who have long felt rejected by God.
Marin asks the provocative question of whether the top priority of Evangelicals relating to GLBT folks ought to be challenging their sexual orientation, or whether it ought to be introducing them to Jesus Christ, who loves them. I know that the answer many Evangelicals would give is, "both!" but the truth is, if we try to do both at the same time, the latter rarely seems to happen. GLBT folk come in to the conversation believing that God hates them, and that the Evangelical person hates them, and often begin talking (when they will talk at all) primed to bolt as soon as the "sin" word is mentioned.
Marin proposes that instead of answering closed-ended questions with the "yes" or "no" answers the questioner is looking for, Evangelicals pursue a strategy of listening to other people's stories, and broadening out the question beyond yes and no.
I'll be honest, that approach both appeals to me and frightens me. The appeal comes from its intention to treat people as people - and more than that, as people loved by God, and more than that, as people who are desperately seeking a relationship with God - and that is how I believe the Bible portrays them. But the Bible also portrays us all as people willing to keep blinders on in order to prevent God from actually taking control of our lives. Marin calls Evangelicals to respond in love, but I recognize that some times, love means being willing to say hard things. Still, from my work as a pastor and missionary over the last twenty years, I know that the "hard things" are rarely heard and responded to well unless there is a foundation of love and respect out of which they are said.
Marin addresses key questions that hover over every conversation about homosexuality and Christianity, and tackles the "Big 5" Bible passages that address homosexual activity. But in each case, he doesn't give a "yes" or "no" answer, instead opting to broaden the conversation to include deeper issues. This is both great AND problematic, as many reviewers have pointed out. Great, in that it allows the conversation to get to some of those broader issues, but problematic in that it can also feel slippery and dishonest if done primarily to avoid conflict or to obfuscate and temporize.
It's a book that's well worth reading, that raises more questions than it answers, and that challenged me, personally, on many levels.
June 2, 2009
The foreword to this book makes a prediction about the reader's reaction and asks a favor. It predicts that some people will think the author didn't go far enough, and others will think he went too far. It asks that the reader set aside the lists and checklists to measure approval/acceptance and listen to what Andrew Marin has on his heart to share.
But that's the nature of bridge building--connecting two disconnected sides. And from that perspective, Marin does a wonderful job.
This book was clearly written to one side of the bridge, the conservative and traditional Christian population, encouraging them to take a risk and actually love people deeply, in the way of Jesus. (What a novel idea!) Because of that, and because of the stubbornness of conservative Christians to actually take the leap of faith and the "letting go" that unconditional love requires, Marin repeats himself over and over (with minor variations on the theme) in an attempt to convey a fairly simple set of ideas.
I hope and pray it's effective, though it did make the reading a little repetitious.
Marin consistently proposes that gay and lesbian "issues" are not something that can be answered with close-ended questions and answers but rather only in the context of a relationship between individuals. I couldn't agree more.
Unfortunately I'm not hopeful that this book will have a widespread effect on the (huge) crowd of people who don't want to step outside their comfort zones and instead prefer to fire rockets of condemnation from the safety of their gated Christian communities. But to those Christians out there that are willing to ask the hard questions and be open to answers they don't expect from a God who's bigger than we can imagine, I think this book is a great field guide to help get them through the difficult part, the dive in.
But that's the nature of bridge building--connecting two disconnected sides. And from that perspective, Marin does a wonderful job.
This book was clearly written to one side of the bridge, the conservative and traditional Christian population, encouraging them to take a risk and actually love people deeply, in the way of Jesus. (What a novel idea!) Because of that, and because of the stubbornness of conservative Christians to actually take the leap of faith and the "letting go" that unconditional love requires, Marin repeats himself over and over (with minor variations on the theme) in an attempt to convey a fairly simple set of ideas.
I hope and pray it's effective, though it did make the reading a little repetitious.
Marin consistently proposes that gay and lesbian "issues" are not something that can be answered with close-ended questions and answers but rather only in the context of a relationship between individuals. I couldn't agree more.
Unfortunately I'm not hopeful that this book will have a widespread effect on the (huge) crowd of people who don't want to step outside their comfort zones and instead prefer to fire rockets of condemnation from the safety of their gated Christian communities. But to those Christians out there that are willing to ask the hard questions and be open to answers they don't expect from a God who's bigger than we can imagine, I think this book is a great field guide to help get them through the difficult part, the dive in.
August 10, 2011
"All God needs are willing hearts to extend his unconditional love for all of his children -- gay and straight. This is our blessing. This is our bold calling. This is our orientation." So Andrew Marin concludes his seminal book, "Love is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community."
As a "straight, white, conservative, Bible-believing, evangelical male," Marin was incredulous when, in a matter of three short months, three close friends independently confided that they were gay. Not knowing what to think or how to respond, he decided to immerse himself in the local (Chicago) GLBT community in an effort to understand his friends and learn about their struggles, their joys, and their experiences -- their lives. From this humble beginning, he eventually founded The Marin Foundation "to build a bridge between the religious and Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender communities in a non-threatening, research and biblically oriented fashion."
In today's politicized society it is no secret that a great chasm of mistrust, fear, and even outright hatred exists between the GLBT community and conservative evangelical Christians. In this book Marin lays the groundwork to begin bridging that gulf and opening new lines of communication, understanding, and love.
This is an extremely important work. It is one of those rare books that I really think every thoughtful evangelical should read, especially given America's current divisive climate. Whether you find yourself agreeing with Marin or not, it is about time that Christians and the GLBT community stop talking past each other. This book is a great starting point.
As a "straight, white, conservative, Bible-believing, evangelical male," Marin was incredulous when, in a matter of three short months, three close friends independently confided that they were gay. Not knowing what to think or how to respond, he decided to immerse himself in the local (Chicago) GLBT community in an effort to understand his friends and learn about their struggles, their joys, and their experiences -- their lives. From this humble beginning, he eventually founded The Marin Foundation "to build a bridge between the religious and Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender communities in a non-threatening, research and biblically oriented fashion."
In today's politicized society it is no secret that a great chasm of mistrust, fear, and even outright hatred exists between the GLBT community and conservative evangelical Christians. In this book Marin lays the groundwork to begin bridging that gulf and opening new lines of communication, understanding, and love.
This is an extremely important work. It is one of those rare books that I really think every thoughtful evangelical should read, especially given America's current divisive climate. Whether you find yourself agreeing with Marin or not, it is about time that Christians and the GLBT community stop talking past each other. This book is a great starting point.
July 19, 2012
One of the most thought-provoking, challenging books I've ever read. I picked it up after hearing the author speak at my church as part of a series called "Grace, Truth and Homosexuality." While there may be a minor point or two I disagree with, I'm completely in sync with the overall theme, which is God loves those he created. This book breaks through barriers; it gives practical ways for the evangelical Christian community to relate to the GLBT community -- two groups of people (whom God loves) but are often at odds with each other from the get-go. Without condemning or endorsing any sexual identity, the author notes that God wants to be in a relationship with all his children. He describes how each person's journey is unique. He talks about the walls that the evangelical Christian community and the GLBT community have built between them, sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally, with a lot of hurt along the way. He talks about the importance of truly building relationships and bridges by listening to others' stories. The author provides practical steps toward "elevating the conversation" and addresses the importance of not getting sucked into closed-ended questions that serve to divide and justify a position rather than to actually understand where the other person is coming from. I highly recommend this book to any evangelical Christian -- straight, gay, or other -- who is ready to be intellectually challenged and to make some personal changes as a result.
January 21, 2011
Andrew Marin fascinates me. I have been following his blog for quite some time, and so when a very good friend of mine gave me his book, I was quite eager to get into it.
Love is an Orientation is the first non-fiction book I've ever read that doesn't start with the decision to teach/coerce/convince or otherwise. While it's true that Marin seeks to educate, his primary focus is on opening up conversation, and Orientation is rich with assistance in that area. Written to the straight, Christian crowd, Marin spends much time on aiding the straight reader in navigating homosexual culture, ideology, theology and otherwise. He never answers the question that often pervade the conversation: "is homosexuality a sin", because he believes that his answer to that will simply enable a reader/listener to box him up into a set of beliefs and in so doing, ends conversation.
There were parts of the read that seemed to drag, but with a bit of work, and some re-reading of parts, the rest was quite accessible, not requiring any high degree of academic understanding in order to grasp the concepts and to understand the direction Marin wishes to point his readers.
This is high on my list of vital books for anyone seeking to honestly challenge and be challenged in the area of community with the gay community.
Love is an Orientation is the first non-fiction book I've ever read that doesn't start with the decision to teach/coerce/convince or otherwise. While it's true that Marin seeks to educate, his primary focus is on opening up conversation, and Orientation is rich with assistance in that area. Written to the straight, Christian crowd, Marin spends much time on aiding the straight reader in navigating homosexual culture, ideology, theology and otherwise. He never answers the question that often pervade the conversation: "is homosexuality a sin", because he believes that his answer to that will simply enable a reader/listener to box him up into a set of beliefs and in so doing, ends conversation.
There were parts of the read that seemed to drag, but with a bit of work, and some re-reading of parts, the rest was quite accessible, not requiring any high degree of academic understanding in order to grasp the concepts and to understand the direction Marin wishes to point his readers.
This is high on my list of vital books for anyone seeking to honestly challenge and be challenged in the area of community with the gay community.
April 7, 2013
This was easily one of the most important books I read in 2011. I grew up in a very conservative Christian community. When my best friend since the 2nd grade came out in the summer of 2011, I struggled with if I was to condemn her and distance myself and wondered what was loving. Marin opened my mind and heart to a struggle and an identity I do not understand. He gave me the words to have a conversation that transcends barriers and offers love at all times. I so appreciated that he did not give bogus absolutes and cheesy pamphlet answers. My best friend has and will always have first and foremost my love.
May 2, 2013
Listening to this conversation has given much to think about. I learned more about the GLBT community - things I need to know - ought to know. The topic is too relevant to ignore. I'd like everyone to read this and consider what Marin is saying. I highly recommend the book, he is asking that we consider love and listening as a means of communicating with the gay community.
April 2, 2013
OUTSTANDING! A must read.
July 17, 2024
Soooo I think this book will help someone, and by someone I mean some Christian who hates gay people and by help I mean this book will teach them how to act normal in front of queer people instead of calling us slurs or derogatory words. I’m neither a Christian nor a homophobe, and I have some thoughts
Pros:
This book talks in such a delicate way as to appeal to Christians who don’t like, understand or maybe are afraid of queer people, and through that language it teaches people how to respect queer individuals and treat us like humans. Yay, basic human decency!
Cons:
The bias in this book is extremely apparent and harmful. The only people he shows testimonies from are people who eventually go celibate, marry the opposite gender despite being queer or people who are “turned straight in Jesus’ name”. Why can’t people go to church, get married to the same gender, have kids and just be seen as normal? The author mentions “gay Christians” a few times but focuses on gay Christians who aren’t very active in the queer community, and mostly people who don’t want to be a part of our community at all. While their voices are important, so are people who are totally at peace with because both gay and Christian and don’t see those identities as mutually exclusive, and I’m disappointed that those people have no voice in this book.
The examples in this book are also harmful. He talks about how Christian’s shouldn’t stereotype queer people as being queer because of SA, and then the only testimony he talks about after the SA point is a girl who only dates women because she was SA’d even though she has no attraction to them. You’re saying one thing and then providing evidence as to why they SHOULD stereotype us. Another example that is used is a gay person who thinks that gay marriage shouldn’t be legal and that’s all that’s said about gay marriage. Are you serious? Do you not see how that’s harmful?
Overall, I hope that this book makes someone who’s violently homophobic just plain homophobic, because honestly it’s the stepping stone that some people need, but I doubt it’ll truly make someone who isn’t accepting of gay people 100% chill with us like they probably should be
Pros:
This book talks in such a delicate way as to appeal to Christians who don’t like, understand or maybe are afraid of queer people, and through that language it teaches people how to respect queer individuals and treat us like humans. Yay, basic human decency!
Cons:
The bias in this book is extremely apparent and harmful. The only people he shows testimonies from are people who eventually go celibate, marry the opposite gender despite being queer or people who are “turned straight in Jesus’ name”. Why can’t people go to church, get married to the same gender, have kids and just be seen as normal? The author mentions “gay Christians” a few times but focuses on gay Christians who aren’t very active in the queer community, and mostly people who don’t want to be a part of our community at all. While their voices are important, so are people who are totally at peace with because both gay and Christian and don’t see those identities as mutually exclusive, and I’m disappointed that those people have no voice in this book.
The examples in this book are also harmful. He talks about how Christian’s shouldn’t stereotype queer people as being queer because of SA, and then the only testimony he talks about after the SA point is a girl who only dates women because she was SA’d even though she has no attraction to them. You’re saying one thing and then providing evidence as to why they SHOULD stereotype us. Another example that is used is a gay person who thinks that gay marriage shouldn’t be legal and that’s all that’s said about gay marriage. Are you serious? Do you not see how that’s harmful?
Overall, I hope that this book makes someone who’s violently homophobic just plain homophobic, because honestly it’s the stepping stone that some people need, but I doubt it’ll truly make someone who isn’t accepting of gay people 100% chill with us like they probably should be
March 16, 2023
I had two reactions to this book—almost equally strong, almost completely opposite.
On the one hand, I love the message that Christians need to “elevate the conversation with the gay community.” Far too many Christians view this as an “issue” instead of a huge part of many people’s lives and identities. Marin does a wonderful job of showing how these issues change when we know people, especially when we see the difficulty and pain of their situations. I love his willingness to listen, to resist closed questions, to build bridges and make connections and hear stories and get to know people. Gay people are people! I fear Christians have forgotten this and view them as a political movement/agenda or, worse, as deviant.
On the other hand, Marin’s theology is extremely suspect. He has started his foundation because he “heard God tell him to.” He seems to encourage his gay friends to listen for the voice of God too (evidently some kind of combination of feelings, urges, and specific words spoken only in our heads) and describes the difficulty that comes when gay people “hear God” tell them that it’s ok to continue to practice homosexuality. What do we say when “God’s voice” directly contradicts Scripture? He does not present his own views on the biblical passages, but instead details what gay-affirming Christians (in the Matthew Vines vein) say, only so that we can know what they say? His attempt at “elevating the conversation” is to ignore the controversial parts of Rom 1, 1 Cor 6, etc in favor of more vague descriptions (it’s about holiness, it’s about responding well to God, etc). It seems to me like his interpersonal approach of suspending judgment is great for building relationships, but bad for a book.
Christians must learn that our treatment of this topic is alienating and hurting people. We must learn how to show love and support to those who have same-sex attraction. We must remember that God loves gay people. But I don’t think we have to throw the Bible in the trash to do it.
On the one hand, I love the message that Christians need to “elevate the conversation with the gay community.” Far too many Christians view this as an “issue” instead of a huge part of many people’s lives and identities. Marin does a wonderful job of showing how these issues change when we know people, especially when we see the difficulty and pain of their situations. I love his willingness to listen, to resist closed questions, to build bridges and make connections and hear stories and get to know people. Gay people are people! I fear Christians have forgotten this and view them as a political movement/agenda or, worse, as deviant.
On the other hand, Marin’s theology is extremely suspect. He has started his foundation because he “heard God tell him to.” He seems to encourage his gay friends to listen for the voice of God too (evidently some kind of combination of feelings, urges, and specific words spoken only in our heads) and describes the difficulty that comes when gay people “hear God” tell them that it’s ok to continue to practice homosexuality. What do we say when “God’s voice” directly contradicts Scripture? He does not present his own views on the biblical passages, but instead details what gay-affirming Christians (in the Matthew Vines vein) say, only so that we can know what they say? His attempt at “elevating the conversation” is to ignore the controversial parts of Rom 1, 1 Cor 6, etc in favor of more vague descriptions (it’s about holiness, it’s about responding well to God, etc). It seems to me like his interpersonal approach of suspending judgment is great for building relationships, but bad for a book.
Christians must learn that our treatment of this topic is alienating and hurting people. We must learn how to show love and support to those who have same-sex attraction. We must remember that God loves gay people. But I don’t think we have to throw the Bible in the trash to do it.
July 7, 2020
This book opened my heart and mind to accepting LGBTQ 10 years ago. It’s not written for the LGBTQ community. I feel like it was written as a stepping stone for me. I was closed minded and passed judgement on others that were not within my cultural expectations. It’s an invitation to think about other people that don’t fit my expectations of the cultural norm. After getting to know people in the LGBTQ community I decided I needed to study further. This book invited me to open my eyes. It’s a good place to start for conservative Christians but it’s not a stopping point. After faithfully studying scripture translations and the culture with which they were written, I have been moved to the point of not only accepting LGBTQ to loving the LGBTQ community, valuing their contributions to society, to repenting of my bias and self centered behaviors and words, to believing that God lovingly created us all and that’s good. For His sake and the sake of the Holy Scriptures love the creator, love His creation, stop judging! For some this book is a good starting point. Others are beyond it. I’m sad that I had to start here but thankful I did.
October 18, 2022
I read some reviews before I read the book, and there were some negative reviews, which I believe were mostly from the gay community itself. I don't think this book was written for them. It was written for people outside the gay community who, perhaps, are looking for a way to engage or relate to the gay community. Perhaps they have a friend or relative who they recently discovered is gay, and that has caused them to re-think...or seek to re-think...previous conceptions they have about the gay community, especially as a believer in Jesus Christ.
If that's you, read this book. Most books involving the gay community and Christianity that I have read have told me that I have to think one way or another: condemn all gay people OR the opposite. This book mostly stays in the middle. Mostly. It's worth a read if someone you love is gay. Note to the gay community: you might not like it so much, but it is a good stepping stone for people who are seeking to understand what it's like to be a sexual minority.
If that's you, read this book. Most books involving the gay community and Christianity that I have read have told me that I have to think one way or another: condemn all gay people OR the opposite. This book mostly stays in the middle. Mostly. It's worth a read if someone you love is gay. Note to the gay community: you might not like it so much, but it is a good stepping stone for people who are seeking to understand what it's like to be a sexual minority.
August 22, 2018
Having spent most of my life in evangelical Christian communities (which I now find uncomfortable) I believe this book is important and valuable. Audience is an huge factor here. I don’t know that the LGBTQ community at large would greatly enjoy this book or find it enlightening. But I do know that in the evangelical circles I came from, this book would challenge them to put aside theological debate and discrepancies and move towards love. What’s beautiful and challenging about this book is that it does not seek to answer close-ended questions surrounding the issue. Seeking those answers is fine, but the evangelical community and the LGBTQ community will always be at odds of that is the sole interest. Recognizing that, this book seeks to start new conversations that pull us towards each other, rather than push us away.
September 2, 2020
This might have been a revolutionary work at one time. Essentially the premise of the book is that Christians should--wait for it--listen to and LOVE people. Woah.
Aside from the frequent generalizations of LGBTQ+ people and a paternalistic tone of "I know what they need even when they don't," this book had a few good moments. I think Marin is well intentioned and has done a lot to help conservative evangelicals hear a different side.
While the content left a lot to be desired, so did the writing. The last half of the book is basically a repetition of the first. He keeps saying "it's time to elevate the conversation" but never defines what "elevating a conversation" even means.
What I do appreciate about this book are all the stories he tells. Stories build empathy. That's pretty much all this book has to offer, though.
Aside from the frequent generalizations of LGBTQ+ people and a paternalistic tone of "I know what they need even when they don't," this book had a few good moments. I think Marin is well intentioned and has done a lot to help conservative evangelicals hear a different side.
While the content left a lot to be desired, so did the writing. The last half of the book is basically a repetition of the first. He keeps saying "it's time to elevate the conversation" but never defines what "elevating a conversation" even means.
What I do appreciate about this book are all the stories he tells. Stories build empathy. That's pretty much all this book has to offer, though.
February 3, 2021
I do not feel like I was the intended audience for this book. I felt myself growing more and more frustrated with the author’s, “this is how we should do it” tone toward developing a relationship between the Christian and LGBT community (with an undertone of, “if we are friendly to them, maybe they will eventually be saved”). It just felt like a selfish and insincere personal belief. I am trying to keep in mind that this book is over a decade old now and we have come a long way — I would be interested to know if this author’s thoughts have changed at all since penning this.
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