Motherhood can be one of the most intense and transformative experiences of a woman's life. While there are many books that offer the "do's and don'ts" of effective parenting, few offer guidance on navigating the tumultuous inner experience of being a mother, with all its joy, pain, change, and uncertainty. This collection of writing by psychologists, poets, novelists, spiritual teachers, and everyday moms explores the rich, transformative journey of motherhood.
• Poet and novelist Louise Erdrich captures the sheer wonder and awe of early motherhood. • Self-described "hip momma" Ariel Gore reflects on the challenges of dealing with her daughter's adolescent rebellion. • Journalist Joan Peters highlights the rise of the "Power Mom" and the risks of overparenting to our children and ourselves. • Zen teacher Cheri Huber shares a spiritual sometimes it's us parents who need a "time out" so that we can be more fully present and loving with our children. Previously published in hardcover under the title Your Children Will Raise You.
I am really loving this book. I don't usually read parenting books, since I'm not a parent yet, but I had found this book when I was still working as a family therapist. I got it because one of my favourite writers ever, Cheri Huber, had written a chapter in it. The first few chapters were okay, but didn't move me in any particular way. Lately though, each essay is better than the last. I'm currently on Part 2, The Inner Work of Motherhood, and these essays are truly fascinating. My two favourite thus far are "Responding to 'Bad' Behavior" by Wendy Mogel and "Parenting with Mindful Awareness" by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. I'm looking forward to the other things this book will teach me because I'm finding it to be great information not just for being a parent but also for being mindful towards all people.
I loved loved loved a lot of the essays in this book. The ones that I loved the most led to me marking a lot of the books by those particular authors as "to-read" here on Goodreads (a feature that I am in love with and wish had been around for my entire life...as well as the ability to mark books as "read", so that I can finally remember the titles of some of those books I adored in elementary and middle school!), like Ariel Gore and Joan K. Peters. I think Miss Peters' essay struck me as one of the best ones, purely because I've spent a lot of time as a therapist having to deal with my fair share of helicopter parents. I think, in large part, that's why the concept of parenting at some moments strikes me with terror...this whole concept of losing your identity within your children has never sat well with me. I loved seeing how other moms and other cultures interpret that and what some of the results can be. This is definitely a good book - I will pick it up and read it again for sure, and I'm guessing I'll see something "new" in it every time.
These days, I check most books out from the library before I decide to buy them. We bought a house. We have our own library's worth of shelves and they are already full. So, if I buy a book, I pretty much have to get rid of one to fit the new selection in. For that kind of sacrifice, the book had better be good. I'm going to buy Finding Your Inner Mama and make space on my shelves. It's not that every one of the essays speaks to me, but the ones that do go a long way because they are well written by smart women who help me feel seen as a mother and a person. Also, many of the essays are gently prescriptive in that they offer advice about how to accept life as it is, to review our expectations of motherhood, of our children, and of ourselves as mothers. And truly important, they remind us to breathe more.
My Cliff's Notes version of this book will have me reread all of Part One "The Reality of Being a Mother." In Part Two, "The Inner Work of Motherhood," I especially liked "Dawn," "Children as Spiritual Teachers" and "Parenting with Mindful Awareness." All of the essays in Part Three "Why is Being a Mother So Hard?" were focused on the politics of motherhood: the messages mothers are given through the media, society, lack of social services and workplace benefits for mothers. Though it was all informative, it just made me tired. The ward between stay-at-home and working mothers, single mothers, do-it-all mothers are just not battles I want to fight or spend much time on. The essays were worth a first read, but won't be reference material for me in the future. Part Four, "Finding Balance" started with an essay by Ariel Gore called "Tell Your Secrets" that brought me to tears. "I'm Breathing, Are You?" uses the tenets of Buddhism to put forth the four noble truths of motherhood, and "Good-bye Herd" is a recommended read for pregnant women.
I found this motherhood book very insightful, relatable, and soothing. Take aways are to accept your children and yourself as you and they are, be present to yourself so you can be present for them, and embrace simplicity. Does have a lot of talk of Zen Buddhism which isn’t my thing, but is interesting nonetheless.
THIS is the book I had hoped for when I read "At Work in Life's Garden: Writers on the Spritual Adventure of Parenting" a few months ago. That book left me disappointed, but this one more than made up for the other. It is full of thought-provoking essays by well-known writers on parenting; essays that touch on the pure joys of raising children as well as some of the stumbling blocks. Almost every selection spoke to me in some way. My favorites were: "Responding to "Bad" Behavior" by Wendy Mogul, "Parenting with Mindful Awareness" by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, "Power Moms and the Problem of Overparenting" by Joan K. Peters, and "Good-bye Herd" by Muffy Mead-Ferro.
It's taken me a while to work my way through this book - just picking it up when the mood strikes to read one of the essays in contains. Like any collective, some were better than others, but overall it was a really good and nurturing read on all things motherhood.
The title of this book embarrasses me. But so far, the essays are wonderful, especially a thoughtful, humorous piece by Harriet Lerner and a beautifully written almost dreamlike essay from Louise Erdrich.
Each contribution makes for a nice quick read. Unfortunately, I had already read a number of books from which this book's chapters were excerpted, so Finding Your Inner Mama didn't contain a lot of new material for me.
This was one of the nicest essay collections about motherhood I've read. I learned about some new resources for parents that I've found helpful as well.
Oh I loved this book. Every essay was different and powerful. And... there were 2 by Ariel Gore who I am mad about. So well done, and so very much needed.