On Becoming Preteen Wise: Parenting Your Child from Eight to Twelve Years

by Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam

The author of On Becoming Childwise explores the challenging world of preteens, offering parents of children ages eight to twelve effective tips and advice on communication, peer pressures, friendship, rebellion, approaching adolescence, respect, and other topics. Original. 35,000 first printing.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

231 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2000

Reviews

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was one of the camp that loved "Babywise" and also their series "Growing Kids God's Way". A few pages into this book, I decided it was one of those books I would need to underline in, so I could remember the things that really stood out to me. Very quickly, I found myself underlining and dog-earring pages about as often as I had with my college textbooks. Let me tell you this is good stuff! The most helpful book I've read for the tween years recently. I'm still soaking it in and I will need to review all the pages I marked. But this was a great book! I highly recommend it.

Note:
Babywise isn't something everybody enjoyed because of the more structured sleep/eat cycles that they recommend in it. But, even if you didn't like Babywise, I recommend giving this book a good look if you have preteens especially since there is no mention of that kind of structured training.

[Kathy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just about the WORST guide to raising teens that I have ever read.
I should have known since his Babywise book borders on child abuse.
Don't be pulled into this fanatisism. He has been kicked out of 3 churches he and his wife belonged to(and excommunicated from one of them) being deemed 'unfit for public ministry'.
Dr. Ezzo has been estranged from his own adult children for many years.
Guess his advice isn't working too well.
BE CAREFUL, this is dangerous.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The questions in the first chapter alone are great conversation-starters with your child. It has been a long time since I read a parenting book, and this is quite good.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book immensely helpful, even without reading all the preceding books. It never dawned on me that my middle years child, who is on a developmental journey, needs a style of parenting that develops with them as well. I feel so much better equipped to give her what she needs and have seen positive changes in our relationship as I’ve approached issues differently even in just a few days. I’m so glad I read this book.

[Cindy Davis- Cindy's Book Corner · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must read for parents especially, but also those who work with preteens. So much wisdom in this book. I read it multiple times when my children were this age. One quote I loved, "If you have a child struggling with selfishness, teach generosity; with anger, teach self-control; with revenge, teach forgiveness." So many great nuggets of wisdom in this book.

[Lisa Zheng · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book with curiosity and I’m undecided. The info seems genuine, but a web search seems that he is estranged from both his children and much controversy about his ethical and moral character as a public figure. I it seems hypocritical taking advice on parenting when there’s mixed reports on his own character?

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've enjoyed all of the "-wise" books as my children have grown and, while this book contained good information, none of it was very new to me. The most helpful piece was the admonishment to begin moving to parenting from influence rather than from authority and to make this transition during the middle years rather than trying to do so during the turbulent teen years.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once in awhile, a book will come along that is just perfect for what I am dealing with at that moment, this was what happened when I read this book. I knew I was doing things wrong with my middle children, but I wasn't sure what, now I have some concrete simple ideas of how to parent them better.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. I highly recommend this series to all parents!

[Kirstin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some nice conversation starters as well good insight.

[Christina HowMc · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contains some simple, easy to implement tools for parenting tweens.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little dorky at times but this was one of the more helpful in the series. So much important info in here.

[Paula O. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for parents of pre-teens!

[Julieta Ho · Rating 5 out of 5]

This booked helps a lot with my pre-teens, to understand a little about what they were getting into and how to guide them through the process

[Ashley Lancaster Burgos · Rating 5 out of 5]

wisdom

Practical guide to an important and often overlooked time in a child’s life. Wisdom comes from a multitude of counselors.

[Stephanie Maerzke]

Wonderful resource for parents of preteens! Highly recommend reading before child turns 8!

[Rachael · Rating 1 out of 5]

A book on how to psychology mess up your kids. Covert child abuse guide.

[Jamie Hatfield · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book, while riddled with typos (they need a better editor), was as all Ezzo books are - encouraging.
I came away with a healthy appreciation for how Tim and I are doing as parents of our 7 and 9 year old, and some encouragement to do better in certain areas of courtesy and interaction with others.
In fact, I was inspired to create a little "courtesy curriculum" this summer to teach my kids common courtesies like shaking hands, initiating and responding in conversations with adults, and independent thinking on moral matters.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been a fan of this whole series. I read BabyWise over and over with each baby and all of my kids became great sleepers on a schedule. ToddlerWise and PreschoolWise both helped us as well. This book gave me some things to think about and I'll definitely need to review it often. If you're scared to have "the talk" with your kids, this has good advice for that as well.

[April Barber · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't read many self help books, and I finish even less. This was a really good book though. I was reassured that I was doing things right. I also learned some new things, and some things I can do better. I plan on taking the one for teens too. I would recommend this, and the whole line, if only to learn new and better ways of raising and talking to your children.

[Elsa K · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have found all the books in this series practical and helpful. But on this one I think the author has gotten lazy. There are some good points, but other parts of it lift verbatim chapters from earlier books. I know because I just read the previous one and some chapters are completely repeated. Still good stuff, but not as much new information in this one.

[Karrie]

I'm really loving this book and I'm not usually into self-help books. It is interesting and helpful. I actually enjoy reading it. It has really helped me understand Lexi better and in turn helped my patience.

[Kayleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I thought Babywise was unique and must-have information, this seemed largely a compilation of old news. Valuable but not new information.

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a pretty good book, but I don't agree with everything they wrote. Still worth the read for some general guidelines!

[Lisa Bodner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm reading all of his books now. I think every parent should read this series. The earlier the better!! Over the years I've read a lot of parenting books and these are the best.

[Mandy J. Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

More wonderful advice from Gary Ezzo on raising a pre-teen.

[Larisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Their writing style is easy to read and straight forward. This is a great handbook as you prepare for these formative years, which are molding what our kids will be as teens.

[Jodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has so many great ideas that I had to take notes. This immediately helped our family.

[Amanda]

I only skimmed, but there's lots to think about here.

[Sandi]

it's time! should have read this one already.... but better late than never