What do you think?
Rate this book
The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood is more than a book; it is the centerpeice of a national discussion about what manhood means today. Thirty-one essays by a broad range of men--rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, urban, rural, famous, ordinary--describe the challenges, obstacles, triumphs, failures, and life-changing moments that collectively help define what it means to be a man in America.
Matt Gannon's documentary The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood accompanies the book. DVDs of the film are available at www.goodmenproject.com
Proceeds from sales of the book and the DVD will benefit The Good Men Foundation, a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) corporation supporting organizations that provide educational, social, financial, or legal support to men and boys at risk.
- GenresNonfictionGender
251 pages, Paperback
First published September 8, 2009
6 people are currently reading
193 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
December 14, 2010
Ask most any single woman in her second half of life and she will tell you: a good man is exceedingly hard to find. So, why is that? And just what is a good man? Bad boys are for adolescent girls, for those who are yet too emotionally immature to recognize the lasting value of goodness, and yes, that goodness is about as sexy as it comes. If the good guy finishes last, it is only because once a woman meets one, she holds on. There is no need for anyone to come after him.
This collection of essays isn’t about what women think about good men, however, or how women define goodness in a man. It is about what men think about being a good man. And rightly so, because being a good man begins with the man himself, with his taking more than a moment of introspection to consider what this means. Editor James Houghton, in fact, writes that just asking the question is the seed of being a good man.
As one of the editors, Tom Matlack, states in the prologue—“manhood is at a crossroads in America.” Companion editor James Houghton writes in his prologue: “Might there be something meaningful in gathering a diverse group of men to write essays about difficult or challenging times in their lives and what they had learned from those experiences? Though I had nothing but anecdotal evidence to draw upon, it seemed that the men of our generation spend a lot of time struggling to balance the competing interests of achieving professional success and being good husbands and partners and fathers and sons. And unlike women, who are much better socialized to talk about how these same pressures affect them, we tend to keep those burdens to ourselves. While the stereotype of men retreating to their cave is not new, perhaps if a group of men wrote compelling, well-crafted stories about their lives, other men might recognize a little of themselves in those stories and take comfort in their shared humanity.”
Houghton goes on to say that the book was turned down by some 50 publishers, mainly for the reason that none of them believed men were interested in reading a book written by other men. Sad. One does wonder what the readership demographic might be, male or female, but in the end, it probably matters little. Asking the question seems an excellent beginning, and that these three editors have started this ball rollilng can only be commended. It begins with a thought.
The book is divided into four sections. Essays are grouped under Fathers, Sons, Husbands, and Workers. It is a grouping as good as any, I suppose, although Husbands might have been widened to include mates of all kinds and not just spouses. Heck, there are times that a woman’s best friend is an ex-spouse. Indeed, a section simply entitled Friends might have opened up an interesting door. Personally, I can vouch for finding the most good men under this category.
Reading through this collection of essays, the level of quality in story and style is as changeable as one might expect with so many different authors. Some stories will engage more than others. In many, the concept of goodness is self-evident, while others can leave the reader wondering … where was the goodness in this dude? Out of the four sections, Husbands seems the weakest, while Fathers and Sons dig the deepest into male emotion. These appear to be the roles that touch men the most, and at opposing arcs of the same cycle, being sons and becoming fathers. One suspects that for many men, becoming a father is the one time that society accepts softness, even tears, and a gentle touch without questioning masculinity. Becoming a father does seem to bring out the very best in many men, and society sanctions this, making it easier to be a good man in this category.
Notable are several essays that explore the equation we seem to almost force on boys and men—that of aggression going hand-in-hand with masculinity. Authors Steve Almost and Kent George explore the expectation of aggression in boys and men, and what’s a gentler soul to do? A good man surely asks if there is a better way to solve problems or to succeed in life than by the use of fists (and warfare).
Author John Sheehy writes about being able to say and mean the words “I love you,” and writes convincingly about how difficult it is for a man to do so, in this case, to his father. It is a moving piece.
Then, there are some essays that leave one wondering, huh? How is this relevant? Jesse Kornbluth’s “Sex and Drugs Made Me a Man” is a puzzling essay about sex and drugs that fit more of the male stereotype than not, and what any of his sex and drug experience, wounding more than healing, has to do with being a good man, well, who knows. Essays by Cary Wong and Regie O’Hare Gibson also leave one shrugging. Well enough written, but seem to be more padding for space than about good men.
Yet there are those golden stars in the collection, too. “Blood-Spattered” by Julio Medina is worth the price of the book—which, by the way, is donating proceeds from book sales to organizations helping at-risk boys. Medina writes with raw honesty about his life in prison. He is as hard as men get, tough and gritty-hearted, afraid of nothing, if perhaps only the brutality of fellow convicts. But then, not even that. Watching a fellow convict go down in a prison fight, instead of walking by to preserve his own safety under that code of prisoners, Medina stops to help. The result of that moment is a metamorphosis of a bad man into a good man, of a heart that had its goodness hidden under many layers of scarring into the heart of a hero. One moment became a life cause, and Julio Medina today leads an organization, Exodus Transitional Community, helping inmates transition back into good men. I spent some time exploring his site, and thought that the next book I would like to read on this topic of good men might very well be an autobiography of Julio Medina.
All in all, this is a good book asking a good question and written by more than a few good men. It’s a good start, and we can only hope that good men will find themselves ever more appreciated in a society that, as Matlack observes, is at a crossroads for men seeking guidelines for how to live lives that matter.
To learn more about The Good Men Project, read The Smoking Poet's A Good Cause, Winter 2010-2011 Issue.
This collection of essays isn’t about what women think about good men, however, or how women define goodness in a man. It is about what men think about being a good man. And rightly so, because being a good man begins with the man himself, with his taking more than a moment of introspection to consider what this means. Editor James Houghton, in fact, writes that just asking the question is the seed of being a good man.
As one of the editors, Tom Matlack, states in the prologue—“manhood is at a crossroads in America.” Companion editor James Houghton writes in his prologue: “Might there be something meaningful in gathering a diverse group of men to write essays about difficult or challenging times in their lives and what they had learned from those experiences? Though I had nothing but anecdotal evidence to draw upon, it seemed that the men of our generation spend a lot of time struggling to balance the competing interests of achieving professional success and being good husbands and partners and fathers and sons. And unlike women, who are much better socialized to talk about how these same pressures affect them, we tend to keep those burdens to ourselves. While the stereotype of men retreating to their cave is not new, perhaps if a group of men wrote compelling, well-crafted stories about their lives, other men might recognize a little of themselves in those stories and take comfort in their shared humanity.”
Houghton goes on to say that the book was turned down by some 50 publishers, mainly for the reason that none of them believed men were interested in reading a book written by other men. Sad. One does wonder what the readership demographic might be, male or female, but in the end, it probably matters little. Asking the question seems an excellent beginning, and that these three editors have started this ball rollilng can only be commended. It begins with a thought.
The book is divided into four sections. Essays are grouped under Fathers, Sons, Husbands, and Workers. It is a grouping as good as any, I suppose, although Husbands might have been widened to include mates of all kinds and not just spouses. Heck, there are times that a woman’s best friend is an ex-spouse. Indeed, a section simply entitled Friends might have opened up an interesting door. Personally, I can vouch for finding the most good men under this category.
Reading through this collection of essays, the level of quality in story and style is as changeable as one might expect with so many different authors. Some stories will engage more than others. In many, the concept of goodness is self-evident, while others can leave the reader wondering … where was the goodness in this dude? Out of the four sections, Husbands seems the weakest, while Fathers and Sons dig the deepest into male emotion. These appear to be the roles that touch men the most, and at opposing arcs of the same cycle, being sons and becoming fathers. One suspects that for many men, becoming a father is the one time that society accepts softness, even tears, and a gentle touch without questioning masculinity. Becoming a father does seem to bring out the very best in many men, and society sanctions this, making it easier to be a good man in this category.
Notable are several essays that explore the equation we seem to almost force on boys and men—that of aggression going hand-in-hand with masculinity. Authors Steve Almost and Kent George explore the expectation of aggression in boys and men, and what’s a gentler soul to do? A good man surely asks if there is a better way to solve problems or to succeed in life than by the use of fists (and warfare).
Author John Sheehy writes about being able to say and mean the words “I love you,” and writes convincingly about how difficult it is for a man to do so, in this case, to his father. It is a moving piece.
Then, there are some essays that leave one wondering, huh? How is this relevant? Jesse Kornbluth’s “Sex and Drugs Made Me a Man” is a puzzling essay about sex and drugs that fit more of the male stereotype than not, and what any of his sex and drug experience, wounding more than healing, has to do with being a good man, well, who knows. Essays by Cary Wong and Regie O’Hare Gibson also leave one shrugging. Well enough written, but seem to be more padding for space than about good men.
Yet there are those golden stars in the collection, too. “Blood-Spattered” by Julio Medina is worth the price of the book—which, by the way, is donating proceeds from book sales to organizations helping at-risk boys. Medina writes with raw honesty about his life in prison. He is as hard as men get, tough and gritty-hearted, afraid of nothing, if perhaps only the brutality of fellow convicts. But then, not even that. Watching a fellow convict go down in a prison fight, instead of walking by to preserve his own safety under that code of prisoners, Medina stops to help. The result of that moment is a metamorphosis of a bad man into a good man, of a heart that had its goodness hidden under many layers of scarring into the heart of a hero. One moment became a life cause, and Julio Medina today leads an organization, Exodus Transitional Community, helping inmates transition back into good men. I spent some time exploring his site, and thought that the next book I would like to read on this topic of good men might very well be an autobiography of Julio Medina.
All in all, this is a good book asking a good question and written by more than a few good men. It’s a good start, and we can only hope that good men will find themselves ever more appreciated in a society that, as Matlack observes, is at a crossroads for men seeking guidelines for how to live lives that matter.
To learn more about The Good Men Project, read The Smoking Poet's A Good Cause, Winter 2010-2011 Issue.
August 4, 2015
Wasn't exactly sure what to expect before I started reading this book. Was it going to be a self-help type deal or a critique of modern guys and how we're doing it all wrong? However, it turned out to be a great collection of essays, memories and perspectives that let you know that you aren't alone in your doubts, confusions and quest for seconds chances.
The fact that the essays come from a variety guys in different walks of life, and not just professional writers, gives this book a really authentic and relatable feel.
Definitely brought back thoughts I've had as to how I'm handling/have handled being the son of a single mother, of how to be a decent boyfriend/husband. In one of my recent relationships, my partner said that I had no goals, no ambition and my response to her was that my goal was to be a good man and eventually good father, but she said only professional(ie monetary) goals are truly goals. It's taken me a few years of soul searching and some of the stories in this book to realize that just isn't true.
Guys these tales/doubts should sound familiar, ladies give it a read so you can see what goes on behind the scenes of the male mind and all the things we'll probably never talk to you about or express out loud.
The fact that the essays come from a variety guys in different walks of life, and not just professional writers, gives this book a really authentic and relatable feel.
Definitely brought back thoughts I've had as to how I'm handling/have handled being the son of a single mother, of how to be a decent boyfriend/husband. In one of my recent relationships, my partner said that I had no goals, no ambition and my response to her was that my goal was to be a good man and eventually good father, but she said only professional(ie monetary) goals are truly goals. It's taken me a few years of soul searching and some of the stories in this book to realize that just isn't true.
Guys these tales/doubts should sound familiar, ladies give it a read so you can see what goes on behind the scenes of the male mind and all the things we'll probably never talk to you about or express out loud.
July 26, 2021
I don't quite know what to do out of this. Here's a patchwork of stories from men of all sorts of different backgrounds, relating the key moments in their lives which helped shaping them, or, at least, define them as the men they came to be. Put bluntly, it's a snapshot of how diverse manhood can be, told by men themselves.
The book is straightforwardly divided into four chapters -'Fathers', 'Sons', 'Husbands', 'Workers'. Stories are very personal, so, obviously, some will resonate more than others. You see a dad losing a child; the joy and insecurities that come with fatherhood; the craving for meaningful relationships; a young man stepping up into his family business; relationships, great or strained, with girlfriends and wives; stay-at-home dads; reformed convicts; war reporters; athletes... There's no shortage of diversity!
So, again, I don't quite know what to do out of this, but, then again, I am not really sure what I wanted to find in here in the first place! I am a man, so I know the drill anyway. Maybe this will benefit women? If you're a woman who wants to be like a fly on the wall to know what men truly feel and think, their vulnerability and insecurities, their pride and else, then please go for it. It's as good as it gets.
The book is straightforwardly divided into four chapters -'Fathers', 'Sons', 'Husbands', 'Workers'. Stories are very personal, so, obviously, some will resonate more than others. You see a dad losing a child; the joy and insecurities that come with fatherhood; the craving for meaningful relationships; a young man stepping up into his family business; relationships, great or strained, with girlfriends and wives; stay-at-home dads; reformed convicts; war reporters; athletes... There's no shortage of diversity!
So, again, I don't quite know what to do out of this, but, then again, I am not really sure what I wanted to find in here in the first place! I am a man, so I know the drill anyway. Maybe this will benefit women? If you're a woman who wants to be like a fly on the wall to know what men truly feel and think, their vulnerability and insecurities, their pride and else, then please go for it. It's as good as it gets.
October 10, 2016
My favorite essays were: Here's the Bad News, Son by Steve Almond, Talking Shop by Regie O'Hare Gibson, Blood-Spattered by Julio Medina, BFI by Ben Woodbeck, and Khan without the Wrath by Curtis B. The editors did a good job in getting diverse voices heard. The range of good men was broad.
I wish there were more books like this. We need to hear more good men speak up and take the risk of being vulnerable in sharing their conflicts, insecurities, and doubts.
Just like women, men can be strong and courageous while at the same feeling scared and weak. We all need to embrace our humanity in this range of emotion.
I wish there were more books like this. We need to hear more good men speak up and take the risk of being vulnerable in sharing their conflicts, insecurities, and doubts.
Just like women, men can be strong and courageous while at the same feeling scared and weak. We all need to embrace our humanity in this range of emotion.
April 14, 2012
The Good Men Project is a series of short essays written by men about things they view as important. Some of the essays are very good and brought tears to my eyes. Other essays were, to me, uninteresting. But that really is the point. Men face many different struggles and every man should find at least one essay in this book that he relates to. I don't know how women would relate to this book but I think every man would take something away from reading this book.
Read
February 22, 2010The Good Men Project: Real Stories From
the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
Edited by James Houghton, Larry Bean
and Tom Matlack
The Good Men Foundation
From a single dad’s description of the challenge of untangling his daughter’s hair to a widower’s recounting of the loss of his wife to cancer, these 32 first-person stories debunk
stereotypes of men.
the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
Edited by James Houghton, Larry Bean
and Tom Matlack
The Good Men Foundation
From a single dad’s description of the challenge of untangling his daughter’s hair to a widower’s recounting of the loss of his wife to cancer, these 32 first-person stories debunk
stereotypes of men.
January 19, 2010
I did enjoy reading these short stories. As expected with a collection, some are excellent and some are just OK. It is interesting to see others perspectives about their life and marriages. There are also some heartbreaking tales of loss.
October 3, 2011
If you're looking for a book about radical masculinity, this isn't it. There are some great essays here, some that definitely make me want to go back and take a second pass through. But by and large, it's a fair intro of "men's studies" or in considering modern masculinity.
October 30, 2010
Interesting stories by men about influences in their lives. A bit of insight into male thinking..at least grounded male thinking.
January 8, 2012
Pretty grim
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews