Knocked Up, Knocked Down: Postcards of Miscarriage and Other Misadventures from the Brink of Parenthood

by Monica Murphy LeMoine

Monica Murphy LeMoine is used to writing postcards from strange, faraway places. After years of traveling around the world with her Peace Corps sweetheart-turned-husband, she finds herself on a blissfully ignorant journey toward new parenthood. But when the pregnancy ends before it's supposed to, Monica is abruptly launched into a different kind of world that nothing in life has prepared her for. It is up to Monica to navigate this strange land of almost-parenthood, make sense of her own confusing grief for real and imagined lives lost, and-ultimately-learn to move forward without someone she loves. A memoir told in postcards, Knocked up, Knocked Down is about finding solace in the most surprising places when life knocks you to the ground. And if you have ever lost a loved one, this uplifting story will help you move upward, too. "Monica Murphy LeMoine worked all over the world with the Peace Corps and grew up in a family that never had time to 'sit around and wallow.' She never comes close to that in this deeply and darkly funny, anti-trauma memoir. Refusing to accept the grief package defined by well-meaning counselors who said she'd never recover, this book calmly and firmly replies, 'bull#@%&!" -Christina Gombar, prize-winning author, Literary Editor for Exhale, and reviewer for Bookslut and London Review of Books.

Genres: Nonfiction

208 pages, Paperback

First published April 15, 2010

Reviews

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

My good friend Monica wrote this book after surviving the horrors of miscarriage and stillbirth. After being disappointed by the sappy grief literature that didn't really speak to the way she was feeling, she wrote this book for others who might want to be able to laugh a little while recovering from the worst event in their lives.

Throughout her grieving she has held fast to her desire to sustain her sense of humor and to continue having adventures in life. She is a master of retelling her story in a way that makes the reader laugh at the way she handled things while sympathizing and understanding *why* she had to handle things the way she did. While the reader laughs with Monica laughing at herself, s/he also feels deeply sad and cries underneath the veneer of laughing, as Monica herself did.

This is not a Pollyanna story and is also not one that requires a bunch of wallowing. It's just the real experience of a real person who puts herself out there in print at her most vulnerable so other women won't feel so alone or crazy if they're going through the same thing.

[Brandi Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll be honest here: I didn't want this book to end. I devoured it almost whole; I wanted to put it down time and time again and give myself time between parts but I couldn't do it. It was that good.

If you've ever experienced the devastating blow that is having a miscarriage or delivering a stillborn baby, this book is for you. Monica, the author, experienced both, on separate occasions. Yet this book is anything but weepy and depressing. She tells it like it is, with humor and truths that most people won't understand but you will find yourself nodding, crying, and feeling a certain kinship with her situation.

I will probably read this several more times, on particularly tough days; days where I just want to know that there are other people out there who've had it way worse and who have managed to come out better than ok in the end. A definite mood lifter; one that puts you & your own personal situation into perspective, which is something I have so desperately needed.

Also, I definitely read the salsa chapter to my husband. And he laughed with me. Happysigh.

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monica Murphy LeMoine has penned a lovely, honest (and comic) memoir on pregnancy and infant loss. If anyone is discouraged by dripping syrupy sympathies, this short read is definitely for you! I cried and laughed out loud and felt understood. I don't know how this book hasn't been distributed more widely.

[Allie · Rating 3 out of 5]

We have different sensibilities and different senses of humor, but I'm glad this book exists.

[Marisa Rodriguez · Rating 4 out of 5]

How can a book about stillbirths and miscarriages still make you laugh? This book has the perfect amount of humor, with passages that make you weep for the parents (who I happen to know) and their tribulations in dealing with such sad, sad circumstances. The ways that Monica and Kevin deal with the decisions they face make you realize that life really is the way you look at things. READ THIS BOOK!

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monica Lemoine offers her personal story of infant loss with a raucous humor that contains honesty and pathos. Although laugh-out-loud funny, the book does show the serious side of Lemoine's losses.This book has been referred to as an "anti-memoir"; I call it memoir with attitude.

Lemoine is a superb writer. Her tone is chummy and conversational, and her story unfolds gracefully. Although I loved this book, I would not recommend it to a newly bereaved mother.

[Kayleigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book about baby loss. A must read for anyone who has lost a baby or who knows someone who has. Real and heart-wrenching, yet humorous and uplifting.

A quote from this book to describe it perfectly:

"Forgive me when I cry [...] Occasionally, I can't help it. [...] Forgive me when I don't cry [...] I can't help being happy because it's my nature."

[Jennifer D. Munro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Compelling and at times darkly funny read about subject matter that could be a real downer but that LeMoine addresses with black humor and a courageous refusal to apologize for being anyone other than her drinking, fun-loving self.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written about her experiences with a miscarriage and a stillbirth, I found myself both tearing up, and laughing with the author. I appreciated her raw and honest approach to her grief journey. For me, it wasn't a cliche approach, or meant to "fix" you...it was just easy to read and relate to.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very candid, honest, raw account of a couple dealing with the affects of miscarriage & stillbirth.

[Maddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who's had a pregnancy loss should read this book.

[Brittney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what I needed.

[Corinne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. I've read it three times. While my story is quite different from Monica's it still speaks to me. I love that she invokes humour into her situation.

[Chrissy DeVore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this so much!!!!!! I had to pace myself because I didn't want it to be over already. Otherwise, I probably would have read through it in one sitting.