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The Big Book of How to Say It
The Big Book of How to Say It features the complete texts of How to Say It by Rosalie Maggio and How to Say It at Work by Jack Griffin.
How to Say It is a practical, easy-to-use book that tells you what to say and how to say it. It features comprehensive, versatile lists of words, phrases, sentences, and paragraphs that allow you to express yourself on any subject in your own voice and style.
How to Say It at Work is a contemporary guide to persuasion, offering a minimum of theoretical speculation and a maximum of practical tips, advice, and examples taken from the real world for use in the real world.
How to Say It is a practical, easy-to-use book that tells you what to say and how to say it. It features comprehensive, versatile lists of words, phrases, sentences, and paragraphs that allow you to express yourself on any subject in your own voice and style.
How to Say It at Work is a contemporary guide to persuasion, offering a minimum of theoretical speculation and a maximum of practical tips, advice, and examples taken from the real world for use in the real world.
890 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2001
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
November 1, 2011
It's probably strange of me to give such a negative view to such an unoffensive book, I mean, it's a book about how to say things, how bad could it be? But really, my issue is with one specific section of the book, and since I can't give the book two reviews, let me give the review 3/4s of the work earns. It'd probably be four or five stars, and I'd definitely recommend the advice it offers. It's a helpful resources for any foreseeable professional or personal situation- from how to deal with hecklers when giving a speech to how to help a friend who has been sexually assaulted.
I was perusing it one night (mostly the personal sections), storing away the information so, if I ever encountered these situations, I could be a sensitive to a friend or family member. But then I came across the section about mental illness, and I was excited to read it as the stigma against those with any mental illness (ranging from anxiety to manic depression or schizophrenia) is something I am concerned with, as a sufferer myself. This section appears along with seven other chapters ranging from topics about illness to miscarriage to death of an adult, etc. The chapters are an average of 9 pages each (excluding the reference section), and the mental illness section is the shortest at four pages (by comparison, the second shortest section is on pet loss and comes in at seven pages). One feature that makes this book great is the heartfelt explanations of the many challenges your loved one is facing and how you can help. For example, the section on miscarriage tells us, "Medical professionals might view the miscarriage experience in clinical terms and suggest it really isn't a baby but a 'product of conception.' But to the parents who hope and dreamed for this pregnancy, this miscarriage is a death in the family and should be treated as such." This intimate explanation is so helpful in understanding and is invaluable. Compare this treatment to the section on mental illness, which includes no opening section about what the sufferer may be experiencing personally. The majority of the intro includes statistics about mental illness, and only in the last paragraph does it become personal at all- "Individuals experiencing mental illness and their loved ones need your caring support. You can help them best by demonstrating your love through verbal and nonverbal communication." Granted, this is true and very needed, but that's as personal as it gets. It gives no example of the specific challenges they might face, for instance, someone with bipolar disorder may have an episode where they will have to take time to recover, sometimes requiring hospitalization. Because of stigma, the person may have to hide their illness from their employer for fear they will be seen as "making it up" or that they are "crazy" and could lose their job.
This chapter is also the only place where the "Special Situations" and "Sample Letters" are not included. Why is this? Considering our society gives little to no framework on how to comfort the mentally ill, I would think there would be no end to special situations! How does one help a veteran who is enduring that hell that is post traumatic stress but comes from an army culture where admitting he needs help is considered a weakness? And would a neighbor who has returned from an eating disorder treatment center not appreciate a note letting them know they are in your thoughts and you care about them?
I was, obviously, disappointed with it treatment since first, the author made no recommendation to the readers to actually try and understand what illness their loved one may have and to respond accordingly. In fact, the author shunned the formula of the previous chapters- you know, respond with empathy, focus on them, don't judge- and recommended treating the sufferer with borderline suspicion and to withhold empathy. It's yet another depressing example of mental illness being denied the validity that someone with a physical illness is allotted. Among other things, the book recommends making clear boundaries with your time and willingness to listen (nowhere else is this admonition given, as if someone who has experienced a death or other trauma has never infringed on a family member's time), and, in the event your friend cancels plans with you at the last minute, to tell them how disapointed you were and that you would appreciate forewarning should it happen again. Why is this necessary? It is mentioned in several other chapters that someone who, for example, experiences the death of a child may be unable to continue the activites they once enjoyed with you, but to be empathetic because these events are reminders of what they have lost and are too painful to resume. I wish the author understood that a person with mental illness may be acting out of the same instinct of self preservation. I have several friends with social anxiety disorders, and sometimes they cancel plans with me, even some I was looking forward to. I, however, understand that they are cancelling because the anxiety is so great that a social engagement is not worth a panic attack, which may spur additional anxiety for days or even weeks afterward. Sometimes they cancel at the last minute because they were really trying to making the engagement work or because they are embarrassed of their illness.
I really wish the author would revise the chapter on mental illness and give it the same empathy and validation that every other chapter recommends, especially considering the great shame that these people face. Though the chapter does mention briefly the stigma a person faces, as well as recommendations to listen and help them find support, this is not given as much emphasis as other chapters. In other chapters, readers impressed upon to listen carefully and not interrupt and let the person vent their frustrations, fears, etc. The mental illness section just mentions to listen, nothing else included. It's also ironic that stigma is mentioned, though not explained, as the warnings to limit your time and understanding are influenced by and contribute to that very stigma! Instead of helping all of us to lend a hand to those suffering mental distress, I was left angry that yet another book encourages people to follow their first instinct of dismissal and distrust when learning that someone that they love has a mental illness.
I was perusing it one night (mostly the personal sections), storing away the information so, if I ever encountered these situations, I could be a sensitive to a friend or family member. But then I came across the section about mental illness, and I was excited to read it as the stigma against those with any mental illness (ranging from anxiety to manic depression or schizophrenia) is something I am concerned with, as a sufferer myself. This section appears along with seven other chapters ranging from topics about illness to miscarriage to death of an adult, etc. The chapters are an average of 9 pages each (excluding the reference section), and the mental illness section is the shortest at four pages (by comparison, the second shortest section is on pet loss and comes in at seven pages). One feature that makes this book great is the heartfelt explanations of the many challenges your loved one is facing and how you can help. For example, the section on miscarriage tells us, "Medical professionals might view the miscarriage experience in clinical terms and suggest it really isn't a baby but a 'product of conception.' But to the parents who hope and dreamed for this pregnancy, this miscarriage is a death in the family and should be treated as such." This intimate explanation is so helpful in understanding and is invaluable. Compare this treatment to the section on mental illness, which includes no opening section about what the sufferer may be experiencing personally. The majority of the intro includes statistics about mental illness, and only in the last paragraph does it become personal at all- "Individuals experiencing mental illness and their loved ones need your caring support. You can help them best by demonstrating your love through verbal and nonverbal communication." Granted, this is true and very needed, but that's as personal as it gets. It gives no example of the specific challenges they might face, for instance, someone with bipolar disorder may have an episode where they will have to take time to recover, sometimes requiring hospitalization. Because of stigma, the person may have to hide their illness from their employer for fear they will be seen as "making it up" or that they are "crazy" and could lose their job.
This chapter is also the only place where the "Special Situations" and "Sample Letters" are not included. Why is this? Considering our society gives little to no framework on how to comfort the mentally ill, I would think there would be no end to special situations! How does one help a veteran who is enduring that hell that is post traumatic stress but comes from an army culture where admitting he needs help is considered a weakness? And would a neighbor who has returned from an eating disorder treatment center not appreciate a note letting them know they are in your thoughts and you care about them?
I was, obviously, disappointed with it treatment since first, the author made no recommendation to the readers to actually try and understand what illness their loved one may have and to respond accordingly. In fact, the author shunned the formula of the previous chapters- you know, respond with empathy, focus on them, don't judge- and recommended treating the sufferer with borderline suspicion and to withhold empathy. It's yet another depressing example of mental illness being denied the validity that someone with a physical illness is allotted. Among other things, the book recommends making clear boundaries with your time and willingness to listen (nowhere else is this admonition given, as if someone who has experienced a death or other trauma has never infringed on a family member's time), and, in the event your friend cancels plans with you at the last minute, to tell them how disapointed you were and that you would appreciate forewarning should it happen again. Why is this necessary? It is mentioned in several other chapters that someone who, for example, experiences the death of a child may be unable to continue the activites they once enjoyed with you, but to be empathetic because these events are reminders of what they have lost and are too painful to resume. I wish the author understood that a person with mental illness may be acting out of the same instinct of self preservation. I have several friends with social anxiety disorders, and sometimes they cancel plans with me, even some I was looking forward to. I, however, understand that they are cancelling because the anxiety is so great that a social engagement is not worth a panic attack, which may spur additional anxiety for days or even weeks afterward. Sometimes they cancel at the last minute because they were really trying to making the engagement work or because they are embarrassed of their illness.
I really wish the author would revise the chapter on mental illness and give it the same empathy and validation that every other chapter recommends, especially considering the great shame that these people face. Though the chapter does mention briefly the stigma a person faces, as well as recommendations to listen and help them find support, this is not given as much emphasis as other chapters. In other chapters, readers impressed upon to listen carefully and not interrupt and let the person vent their frustrations, fears, etc. The mental illness section just mentions to listen, nothing else included. It's also ironic that stigma is mentioned, though not explained, as the warnings to limit your time and understanding are influenced by and contribute to that very stigma! Instead of helping all of us to lend a hand to those suffering mental distress, I was left angry that yet another book encourages people to follow their first instinct of dismissal and distrust when learning that someone that they love has a mental illness.
September 5, 2015
Great book when you need tips on writing personal or business letters. I think everyone should have this book and share with others to present yourself in the best way with your words and thoughts. The author did a great job on each chapter on all the letters you could ever think of writing. From resumes, love letters, sales letters, advice letters too fundraising letters. Best tips and examples in all. I highly recommend this book for students, young adults, adults, and business. It's a keeper you'll want to keep on your shelf that will be used over and over again.
August 9, 2011
Every house should have this, it is a huge resource. Even in this age of emails and twitters, you still have to be able to write a note, a letter, a complaint, advice and references. This book tells you how. Whether you are at school and as student council secretary have to write letters, or you are working and have to deal with customers or suppliers, if you are a teacher and have to write a reference - this book tells you how.
January 2, 2017
I have used this book as a reference So many times over the last decade. Very well worth the investment
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews