What do you think?
Rate this book
Things Your Mother Never Told You
'I hate you. When I'm a mother, I'm never going to be like you...' These words come back to haunt Ros, years later. As her marriage of twenty years collapses and her beloved twin sons prepare to flee the nest, Ros's world is tilting on its axis.It doesn't help that her dead mother seems to have taken up residence in her head, reminding her of things she once said.
As Ros tries to adapt to sharing custody of the family dog and life without her husband and boys in the house, she embarks on a new regime to stay sane: yoga, herbal remedies,internet dating. But as Ros is trying to find herself, the arrival of a memoir her mother wrote begins to reveal a woman she never
knew, taking her on a journey into her mother's past that will change forever her idea of who she is. A sharp, funny and touching novel about the secrets mothers and daughters keep from each other.
As Ros tries to adapt to sharing custody of the family dog and life without her husband and boys in the house, she embarks on a new regime to stay sane: yoga, herbal remedies,internet dating. But as Ros is trying to find herself, the arrival of a memoir her mother wrote begins to reveal a woman she never
knew, taking her on a journey into her mother's past that will change forever her idea of who she is. A sharp, funny and touching novel about the secrets mothers and daughters keep from each other.
- GenresFiction
288 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2008
4 people are currently reading
129 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
October 28, 2010
I remember texting my mother days -even months- after she's gone, to a number that doesn't exist, hoping against hope that she'll answer with her sweet words like she used to. It never happen, of course. She left me with a hole that could never be completely fulfilled.
Jadi begini, perasaan saya terbelah mengenai novel ini. Saya suka topiknya, bahwa ada beberapa hal yang mungkin tidak akan pernah kita ketahui tentang orangtua kita. Mungkin karena mereka sengaja merahasiakannya, mungkin juga karena hubungan kita tidak pernah terlalu dekat untuk mengetahui isi hati terdalam mereka.
Sepeninggal ibunya, Ros baru menyadari kehilangan besar yang dia rasakan. Meskipun hubungan mereka penuh ketegangan dan kadang-kadang Ros menyesal punya ibu seperti Lilian, namun ternyata kepergian Lilian meninggalkan lubang besar di hatinya. Sampai suatu hari dia menerima surat dari teman lama Lilian, Gloria, berisi bagian pertama tulisan ibunya yang akan dijadikan buku. Lilian rupanya memiliki masa lalu yang 'berwarna' di Afrika Selatan. Sebagai gadis kulit putih yang terlibat perjuangan melawan Apartheid dan jatuh cinta pada seorang pria kulit hitam.
Awalnya cerita berjalan lambat (menurut saya), dengan Ros yang bercerai dari suaminya tak lama setelah Lilian meninggal, anak kembar Ros yang akan keliling dunia sebagai tanda kedewasaan mereka, pekerjaan Ros sebagai guru di sekolah dengan murid-murid dan rekan kerja yang konyol...agak bertele-tele walaupun gaya menulis Lichtenstein enak diikuti.
Cerita jadi sangat menarik setelah surat Gloria datang. Kisah hidup Lilian di Afsel sangat menyentuh. Bayangkan hidup menantang bahaya setiap hari, menjalin hubungan terlarang dengan ancaman penjara dan kehilangan orang-orang yang dikasihi.
Kisah Lilian kemudian berselang-seling dengan kisah Ros yang mencari cinta baru, sambil mencoba mengenal ibunya dengan lebih baik, melalui masa lalunya. Pada akhirnya Ros bisa memahami sikap ibunya yang terkesan aneh sebagai orangtua. Sayang pemahaman itu baru datang setelah ibunya tiada.
If you ever experienced the lost of someone so dear, I think you must find this novel heartwarming. Although you (and me) may not be as lucky as Ros, who can still hear her mother's voice and get to know her mother's story long after she has gone.
*Thanks @Miapras :)*
Jadi begini, perasaan saya terbelah mengenai novel ini. Saya suka topiknya, bahwa ada beberapa hal yang mungkin tidak akan pernah kita ketahui tentang orangtua kita. Mungkin karena mereka sengaja merahasiakannya, mungkin juga karena hubungan kita tidak pernah terlalu dekat untuk mengetahui isi hati terdalam mereka.
Sepeninggal ibunya, Ros baru menyadari kehilangan besar yang dia rasakan. Meskipun hubungan mereka penuh ketegangan dan kadang-kadang Ros menyesal punya ibu seperti Lilian, namun ternyata kepergian Lilian meninggalkan lubang besar di hatinya. Sampai suatu hari dia menerima surat dari teman lama Lilian, Gloria, berisi bagian pertama tulisan ibunya yang akan dijadikan buku. Lilian rupanya memiliki masa lalu yang 'berwarna' di Afrika Selatan. Sebagai gadis kulit putih yang terlibat perjuangan melawan Apartheid dan jatuh cinta pada seorang pria kulit hitam.
Awalnya cerita berjalan lambat (menurut saya), dengan Ros yang bercerai dari suaminya tak lama setelah Lilian meninggal, anak kembar Ros yang akan keliling dunia sebagai tanda kedewasaan mereka, pekerjaan Ros sebagai guru di sekolah dengan murid-murid dan rekan kerja yang konyol...agak bertele-tele walaupun gaya menulis Lichtenstein enak diikuti.
Cerita jadi sangat menarik setelah surat Gloria datang. Kisah hidup Lilian di Afsel sangat menyentuh. Bayangkan hidup menantang bahaya setiap hari, menjalin hubungan terlarang dengan ancaman penjara dan kehilangan orang-orang yang dikasihi.
Kisah Lilian kemudian berselang-seling dengan kisah Ros yang mencari cinta baru, sambil mencoba mengenal ibunya dengan lebih baik, melalui masa lalunya. Pada akhirnya Ros bisa memahami sikap ibunya yang terkesan aneh sebagai orangtua. Sayang pemahaman itu baru datang setelah ibunya tiada.
If you ever experienced the lost of someone so dear, I think you must find this novel heartwarming. Although you (and me) may not be as lucky as Ros, who can still hear her mother's voice and get to know her mother's story long after she has gone.
*Thanks @Miapras :)*
March 3, 2013
A readable novel - brings all of the author's personality into the book. A believable protagonist - with all her foibles and oddities, she is nevertheless a likeable woman. The peculiar relationships of mothers and daughters in a modern setting is well described, although not particular psychological revelations as such, I still read the whole book through.
Read
November 15, 2016Haven't finished reading it. Two of my favorite writers' books are waiting for me!
April 4, 2022
I really enjoyed this book. I thought it would be a light hearted easy read, however it was definitely more interesting. I enjoyed reading Roz discovering her mum had ties in South Africa and was part of anti Aparthied movement. I found this interesting and heartbreaking. We take so much for granted but not everyone had things as easy. A lovely story, that has a way to remind you to appreciate what you have.
August 12, 2025
(5/10⭐)
Książka opowiadająca o trudnej relacji jaką może mieć matka z córką. Ros - główna bohaterka - jest w trudnym momencie swojego życia - synowie wyjeżdżają na gap year, rozwód z mężem i przeszłość zmarłej matki, którą wraz z fabułą poznajemy. Książka momentami jest zabawna i wzruszająca, ale z drugiej strony są też dość niepasujące do klimatu sceny z życia Ros, co mi osobiście odrobinę psuje pozytywny odbiór tej książki.
Książka opowiadająca o trudnej relacji jaką może mieć matka z córką. Ros - główna bohaterka - jest w trudnym momencie swojego życia - synowie wyjeżdżają na gap year, rozwód z mężem i przeszłość zmarłej matki, którą wraz z fabułą poznajemy. Książka momentami jest zabawna i wzruszająca, ale z drugiej strony są też dość niepasujące do klimatu sceny z życia Ros, co mi osobiście odrobinę psuje pozytywny odbiór tej książki.
March 22, 2019
A powerful, moving account of a daughter's discovery of her mother's life. It's not until long after her mother dies, that Ros begins to discover more about her mother Lilian's upbringing in South Africa during apartheid. I don't know about anyone else, but I couldn't put it down! I highly recommend it.
August 16, 2018
The novel really well represents the modern version of the 'uncanny'. Besides I found it funny, easy to read and including many author's private memories and experiences, which visibly stand out on the canvas of the remaining narrative. I recommend this book.
July 29, 2021
Un romanzo che contiene due storie. Ho trovato molto bella la storia del passato sudafricano della madre, mentre tutto il resto mi è sembrato un po' insapore, anche se verso la fine è leggermente migliorato.
March 23, 2018
Interesting book that touches on lots of different issues - divorce, separation, unfaithfulness but also South African politics
I enjoyed it
I enjoyed it
June 16, 2025
“Du kannst nicht jetzt das Rennen aufgeben, wo die Ziellinie schon in Sicht ist.” (S. 313)
June 8, 2013
Als Ros verstorbene Mutter Lillian zu ihrer Tochter spricht und ihr wie zu Lebzeiten Vorschriften macht, Ros sogar durch ein Medium Kontakt zu Lillian aufnimmt, hätte ich das Buch am liebsten ungelesen zurückgestellt. Doch Olivia Lichtenstein hat eine so trockene Art, ihre Figuren zu charakterisieren und handeln zu lassen, dass ich mich trotzdem in der Mutter-Tochter-Geschichte festgelesen habe.
Als Kind fand Ros ihre Mutter mit den ewigen Anekdoten über afrikanische Musik und exotische Lebensmittel extrem peinlich. Roz Freundinnen hingen dagegen gespannt an Lillians Lippen. Ros wollte einfach eine Mutter haben, Freundinnen hatte sie in der Schule, nicht dieses ständige Generve, Lillian sei die beste Freundin ihrer Tochter. Lillians Ratschläge schienen Ros so nutzlos, schließlich lebte sie in der Gegenwart und nicht in den 50er Jahren in Kapstadt. Lillians jüdisches Erbe war offenbar der Grund, dass sie in Gedanken immer nur das Schlimmste erwartete - und ihre Tochter davor warnen wollte. Dennoch hatte Lillian sämtliche Binsenwahrheiten ihrer Mutter exakt abgespeichert. Dazu gehörte, dass Mike nicht der richtige Mann für Ros sei.
Die erwachsene Ros ist Mitte vierzig als ihre Mutter überraschend stirbt. Ros und ihr Mann Mike sind mit Lillians Tod die Elterngeneration in der Familie geworden. Besonders Ros fällt es schwer die neue Rolle anzunehmen. Das familiäre Gleichgewicht gerät vollends aus dem Takt, als Mike sich von Ros trennt und die erwachsenen Zwillingssöhne das Haus verlassen. Ros und Mike können sich nur mit Mühe auf ein gemeinsames Sorgerecht für ihren Hund einigen.
Mit dem drohenden Klimakterium im Nacken tritt Ros jeden Tag mutig ihren pubertierenden Schülern entgegen. Die Kluft zwischen den Generationen löst sich an der Schule offenbar gerade auf, treffen sich doch die frisch tätowierte Lehrerin und gepiercte schlägernde Schülerinnen zum Rapport auf derselben Bank vor dem Zimmer der Direktorin. Ros tritt an, um ihre Midlife-Krise mit einem umfassenden Veränderungsprogramm in Schach zu halten. Esokokolores nennt sie es: Frisör, Yogakurs, Bachblüten, Nahrungsergänzungsmittel, Tattoo. Ros probiert alles aus, was die Kassen der Wellness-Branche füllt. Als Ros sich bei LovingNew.com, einem Internet-Dating-Portal anmeldet, wird ihr klar, dass eine berufstätige Frau wie sie kaum Zeit für einen neuen Lover aufbringen kann. Charlie, der treue schwule Freund der Familie, Pate der beiden Söhne, versteht offensichtlich mehr von Ros Gefühlen als sie selbst. Charlie weiß, dass Gelegenheitssex Frauen nicht glücklich machen kann.
Ein Koffer mit Lillians Erinnerungsstücken aus der Zeit um 1950 konfrontiert Ros damit, dass ihre Mutter als junge Studentin für den ANC in Südafrika arbeitete und einen Schwarzen liebte. Ein ungewöhnlicher Lebenslauf für eine weiße Südafrikanerin - eine völlig andere Person als die nörgelnde Stimme Lillians, die Ros noch im Ohr hat. Ein Brief von Gloria, der Jugendfreundin der Mutter, enthält den ersten Teil eines umfangreichen Manuskripts, das Lillian für die Wahrheits- und Versöhnungskommission in Südafrika über die politische Arbeit ihrer Gruppe geschrieben hat. Ros benötigt erst einen kräftigen Anstoß anderer, um zu erkennen, wie einsam Lillian in England war und wie wenig Ros sich bisher für das Leben ihrer Mutter interessiert hat.
Die Gefahr, dass die Handlung durch Lillians Stimme aus dem Jenseits ins Melodramatische kippt, bekommt Olivia Lichtenstein mit ihrem ausgeprägten Sinn für Ironie in den Griff. Ros Midlife-Krise, die Dialoge, sämtliche Nebenfiguren (Schüler, der Hundetyp, der Babysimulator) wirken mitten aus dem Leben gegriffen - von herrlich exzentrisch (Charlie) bis herrlich bescheuert (Versace). Trotz eines vorhersehbaren Schlusses und einer Hauptfigur, die sich für ihr Alter ab und zu recht blöd anstellt, empfehle ich Ros Spurensuche voller Überzeugung für Ihr Bücherregal "Hühnersuppe für die Seele".
Als Kind fand Ros ihre Mutter mit den ewigen Anekdoten über afrikanische Musik und exotische Lebensmittel extrem peinlich. Roz Freundinnen hingen dagegen gespannt an Lillians Lippen. Ros wollte einfach eine Mutter haben, Freundinnen hatte sie in der Schule, nicht dieses ständige Generve, Lillian sei die beste Freundin ihrer Tochter. Lillians Ratschläge schienen Ros so nutzlos, schließlich lebte sie in der Gegenwart und nicht in den 50er Jahren in Kapstadt. Lillians jüdisches Erbe war offenbar der Grund, dass sie in Gedanken immer nur das Schlimmste erwartete - und ihre Tochter davor warnen wollte. Dennoch hatte Lillian sämtliche Binsenwahrheiten ihrer Mutter exakt abgespeichert. Dazu gehörte, dass Mike nicht der richtige Mann für Ros sei.
Die erwachsene Ros ist Mitte vierzig als ihre Mutter überraschend stirbt. Ros und ihr Mann Mike sind mit Lillians Tod die Elterngeneration in der Familie geworden. Besonders Ros fällt es schwer die neue Rolle anzunehmen. Das familiäre Gleichgewicht gerät vollends aus dem Takt, als Mike sich von Ros trennt und die erwachsenen Zwillingssöhne das Haus verlassen. Ros und Mike können sich nur mit Mühe auf ein gemeinsames Sorgerecht für ihren Hund einigen.
Mit dem drohenden Klimakterium im Nacken tritt Ros jeden Tag mutig ihren pubertierenden Schülern entgegen. Die Kluft zwischen den Generationen löst sich an der Schule offenbar gerade auf, treffen sich doch die frisch tätowierte Lehrerin und gepiercte schlägernde Schülerinnen zum Rapport auf derselben Bank vor dem Zimmer der Direktorin. Ros tritt an, um ihre Midlife-Krise mit einem umfassenden Veränderungsprogramm in Schach zu halten. Esokokolores nennt sie es: Frisör, Yogakurs, Bachblüten, Nahrungsergänzungsmittel, Tattoo. Ros probiert alles aus, was die Kassen der Wellness-Branche füllt. Als Ros sich bei LovingNew.com, einem Internet-Dating-Portal anmeldet, wird ihr klar, dass eine berufstätige Frau wie sie kaum Zeit für einen neuen Lover aufbringen kann. Charlie, der treue schwule Freund der Familie, Pate der beiden Söhne, versteht offensichtlich mehr von Ros Gefühlen als sie selbst. Charlie weiß, dass Gelegenheitssex Frauen nicht glücklich machen kann.
Ein Koffer mit Lillians Erinnerungsstücken aus der Zeit um 1950 konfrontiert Ros damit, dass ihre Mutter als junge Studentin für den ANC in Südafrika arbeitete und einen Schwarzen liebte. Ein ungewöhnlicher Lebenslauf für eine weiße Südafrikanerin - eine völlig andere Person als die nörgelnde Stimme Lillians, die Ros noch im Ohr hat. Ein Brief von Gloria, der Jugendfreundin der Mutter, enthält den ersten Teil eines umfangreichen Manuskripts, das Lillian für die Wahrheits- und Versöhnungskommission in Südafrika über die politische Arbeit ihrer Gruppe geschrieben hat. Ros benötigt erst einen kräftigen Anstoß anderer, um zu erkennen, wie einsam Lillian in England war und wie wenig Ros sich bisher für das Leben ihrer Mutter interessiert hat.
Die Gefahr, dass die Handlung durch Lillians Stimme aus dem Jenseits ins Melodramatische kippt, bekommt Olivia Lichtenstein mit ihrem ausgeprägten Sinn für Ironie in den Griff. Ros Midlife-Krise, die Dialoge, sämtliche Nebenfiguren (Schüler, der Hundetyp, der Babysimulator) wirken mitten aus dem Leben gegriffen - von herrlich exzentrisch (Charlie) bis herrlich bescheuert (Versace). Trotz eines vorhersehbaren Schlusses und einer Hauptfigur, die sich für ihr Alter ab und zu recht blöd anstellt, empfehle ich Ros Spurensuche voller Überzeugung für Ihr Bücherregal "Hühnersuppe für die Seele".
February 5, 2021
Slow in the beginning. I out the book down a few tines as it did not move quicker. The story only came alive once she started reading Lillian's letters. As a South African woman of colour, always stuck between black and white, this was beautiful. Sad, yes but beautiful
March 31, 2012
Rosalind (Ros) finds her world as she knows it falling apart after her mothers' demise. Within the same year she and her husband separate and her twin boys are off on a journey - everything conspires to leave Ros alone with her thoughts, and her deceased mother's voice echoing in her mind.
In her attempt to collect and find herself again, Ros discovers a past of her mothers that she never knew existed and thus embarks upon a journey of learning her mothers' past, and having that past reverberate into her own life. With her best friend Charlie by her side and a newly acquired online love interest reminiscent of pina coladas and getting lost in the rain, Ros embarks on a journey that changes the way her relationship with her mother is perceived.
I went in search of a light, easy read and in Things Your Mother Never Told You I found that and much more. The sentiment in the book is touching and, in my humble opinion, something that most everyone can relate to. Perhaps not the fact of finding a long-lost unknown sister or family past, but of discovering that ones' parents have a history and past of their own of which we are not privy. I enjoyed the read, I enjoyed the writing, and I could see a build of the main characters that was something I could be sympathetic to.
In her attempt to collect and find herself again, Ros discovers a past of her mothers that she never knew existed and thus embarks upon a journey of learning her mothers' past, and having that past reverberate into her own life. With her best friend Charlie by her side and a newly acquired online love interest reminiscent of pina coladas and getting lost in the rain, Ros embarks on a journey that changes the way her relationship with her mother is perceived.
I went in search of a light, easy read and in Things Your Mother Never Told You I found that and much more. The sentiment in the book is touching and, in my humble opinion, something that most everyone can relate to. Perhaps not the fact of finding a long-lost unknown sister or family past, but of discovering that ones' parents have a history and past of their own of which we are not privy. I enjoyed the read, I enjoyed the writing, and I could see a build of the main characters that was something I could be sympathetic to.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 24, 2010
cerita tentang ibu dan anak..*again* :D
setelah tak pernah bosan dengan buku-buku amy tan yg selalu berkisah tentang hubungan ibu & anak, kali ini aku ter-summon oleh judul buku ini :D
kisah hubungan ibu & putrinya yg tidak begitu harmonis. sampai saat si ibu(lilian) meninggal dan ros putrinya menyadari bahwa banyak hal ttg ibunya yg tidak ia ketahui dan kemudian menyesali tingkah lakunya semasa ibunya hidup.
dalam buku ini olivia lichtenstein juga bercerita ttg hubungan ros yg gagal dgn suaminya, kencan via internet, dan kehidupan asmara kaum gay.
ini beberapa quote yg aku suka:
"you're almost there, darling, you can't give up the race when the finishing line is in sight" p.266
"you see, that's the problem with marriage: one loses the art of conversation and assumes that the other person is inside one's head and understand everything" p.302
"I won't become your wife again.thats the trouble with marriage, you stop being girlfriend and boyfriend and become husband and wife, each wanting to change the other instead of accepting them for who they are. p.303
sayangnya buku ini terlalu lambat di 100 halaman pertama :D
so bintangnya 3,5 aja deh..
thanks to mia & uci :D
setelah tak pernah bosan dengan buku-buku amy tan yg selalu berkisah tentang hubungan ibu & anak, kali ini aku ter-summon oleh judul buku ini :D
kisah hubungan ibu & putrinya yg tidak begitu harmonis. sampai saat si ibu(lilian) meninggal dan ros putrinya menyadari bahwa banyak hal ttg ibunya yg tidak ia ketahui dan kemudian menyesali tingkah lakunya semasa ibunya hidup.
dalam buku ini olivia lichtenstein juga bercerita ttg hubungan ros yg gagal dgn suaminya, kencan via internet, dan kehidupan asmara kaum gay.
ini beberapa quote yg aku suka:
"you're almost there, darling, you can't give up the race when the finishing line is in sight" p.266
"you see, that's the problem with marriage: one loses the art of conversation and assumes that the other person is inside one's head and understand everything" p.302
"I won't become your wife again.thats the trouble with marriage, you stop being girlfriend and boyfriend and become husband and wife, each wanting to change the other instead of accepting them for who they are. p.303
sayangnya buku ini terlalu lambat di 100 halaman pertama :D
so bintangnya 3,5 aja deh..
thanks to mia & uci :D
April 3, 2015
I didn't warm to the book from the beginning ,some how it stayed on my night stand for two month and was an on off reading relationship. It could be that the book didn't catch my attention or possibly that life was hectic and busy that reading a book was simply another hard chore rather than a treat. Only by the half of the book that I got hooked up and really wanted to finish it. The bit I loved the most is the sad truth and reality how really most of us don't know our mothers. Because before they were some ones wives and mothers,they too were a person. As Lilian would often say to Ros : I am a person as well you know. There is a whole life they lived and lead before they became mothers and so many things are un known. This is the part I related to, and how I felt after mom passed away and I found about some facts and parts of her life I never knew. And that is sad.
It would be a rather interesting book to all those daughters who lost their mothers too early in life and to any one interested in South African history/past. Since most of the story goes back to Lilian's life back in South Africa.
It would be a rather interesting book to all those daughters who lost their mothers too early in life and to any one interested in South African history/past. Since most of the story goes back to Lilian's life back in South Africa.
March 21, 2011
This book is a light and engaging read that asks the question 'Can one resolve a relationship after it has gone?'. For Ros, there are a couple of relationships she needs to resolve - her difficult, yet close, relationship with her secretive mother, and the relationship with her husband, which breaks down after the death of her mother. The story of Ros's mother growing up in South Africa in the 1950's is the true heart of this story, and is told through the use of a story her mother wrote for publication which keeps appearing in her letterbox. This reveals a side of her mother that she never knew, and gives her a a whole new perspective on the prickly, private person her mother was. The book veers off track a bit (sleazy online dating encounters, staffroom gossip, a small story about the man next door who keeps dogs and can not read), but it was well-written and fast to read, with an interesting insight into what it was like to have a relationship with a black man during apartheid.
August 23, 2013
Middle-aged Ros goes in for computer-dating and hanging out with her ridiculously too-good-to-be true gay friend when her marriage stalls and her mother dies.
Found the author's constant explanations of her characters actions and back-stories tedious. And - SPOILER ALERT - I fear for our schools if dumb Ros is a typical teacher. The "I like that pina colada song" guy she contacts on a dating website sounds like her husband, her husband is there when she goes to meet her date, but it takes her around another fifty pages to realise that, yep, it is her husband.
The story she is drip-fed of her mother's life in apartheid Africa is far more interesting, but that drama just didn't seem to fit in within the chick-lit (woman-lit?) breezy story that surrounded it.
I gave this an extra star, however for Ros's light-bulb moment:"I know where the dead go. They move into the heads of their loved ones"
Found the author's constant explanations of her characters actions and back-stories tedious. And - SPOILER ALERT - I fear for our schools if dumb Ros is a typical teacher. The "I like that pina colada song" guy she contacts on a dating website sounds like her husband, her husband is there when she goes to meet her date, but it takes her around another fifty pages to realise that, yep, it is her husband.
The story she is drip-fed of her mother's life in apartheid Africa is far more interesting, but that drama just didn't seem to fit in within the chick-lit (woman-lit?) breezy story that surrounded it.
I gave this an extra star, however for Ros's light-bulb moment:"I know where the dead go. They move into the heads of their loved ones"
November 23, 2012
3.5 stars. The first 100 or so pages of this book (1/3rd of the total), I wasn't sure whether I liked it or not and certainly it was a solid 3 star read *at best*. It seemed disjointed to me, a bit of a slog to read and I wasn't sure about the characters. It picked up greatly when Ros, the main character, started finding out about her (recently deceased) mother Lilian's early life in apartheid South Africa and the last few chapters were genuinely moving. I would have liked to have read more about Lilian's life and less about Ros' attempts to "find herself" after the break-up of her marriage, personally. Definitely worth reading for the South African chapters - I now want to read more stories about SA under apartheid, as this is something I only know about very superficially.
May 15, 2015
You can tell when reading a book, whether or not the author is truly emotionally invested in what they have written. This book in particular is written with such a delicate poignancy that at times it feels almost autobiographical, or at least based in situations that she has experienced for herself. The vibrant characters and depth of their situations often had me chuckling and occasionally even brought a tear to my eye, though that also could have been allergies. It features the changing relationship between mother and daughter with a scope that traverses continents and decades, and even the very border between the living and the departed, with delicacy and humor in a book that lingers long after the last page is turned.
October 18, 2015
Loved it!!!!
I picked up this book and read a page and thought mmmm maybe not for me and left it on the bedside and read something else. I am glad I came back to it! What a great fantastically written story! I found myself thinking about the book while I was at work etc waiting to come home and finish it. It's a sad but light story about self discovery, letting go of passed loved ones and realizing you never really know your parents history. Keen to read more from this author
I picked up this book and read a page and thought mmmm maybe not for me and left it on the bedside and read something else. I am glad I came back to it! What a great fantastically written story! I found myself thinking about the book while I was at work etc waiting to come home and finish it. It's a sad but light story about self discovery, letting go of passed loved ones and realizing you never really know your parents history. Keen to read more from this author
April 15, 2010
Refreshing take on mother-daughter relationship compared with the daughter's own relationship with everyone else. Got some bits of historical drama thrown in. I wished she had written more about the mother though as I think the mother's life is fascinating. The ending feels a bit rushed for me but satisfying read nevertheless.
July 26, 2010
Olivia is a most successful documentary film-maker in the UK who is turning her talents to writing. This is her second novel. Typical of her writing style it is current, touching, and humorous as it blends the complexities of personal relationships with unexpected insight into the years of the anti-apartheid movement in South Africa.
May 4, 2013
I really enjoyed the book. Nice interwoven story between the past and the present. Really beautiful emotional ending. As a South African, my own faults would be some spelling mistakes of South African things eg. Karoo spelt as Karroo and babootie instead of bobotie. But then maybe I'm just nit-picking!
October 14, 2010
I'm not sure about the confusion in the titles. I read it as Things Your Mother Never Told You. I enjoy this author's writing style and great sense of humour - would read anything of hers.
October 12, 2011
For a more detailed review, please visit my blog -
Debra's Book Cafe
Thank you
Debs
Debra's Book Cafe
Thank you
Debs
January 13, 2011
A light and easy read
Quite a good story, nothing too challenging
Quite a good story, nothing too challenging
July 17, 2018
I couldnt get into this at all, i just couldnt get into the story line or relate to the characters.
Read
February 4, 2013Called "Things Your Mother never Told You"
September 9, 2014
Excellent!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews