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Open Me
A debut novel about a young girl at the center of the secret world of professional mourners, where women are trained extensively and paid handsomely to attend the funerals of strangers. Mem is a wailer, a professional mourner hired to cry at funerals. One of the few remaining American girls in this secret, illegal profession, Mem hails from a long line of mourners, including her mother, a legendary master wailer hired for the most important funerals in her hometown of Philadelphia. Though Mem is to eventually become a renowned wailer herself, she at first struggles with her calling. She is a girl who cannot make herself cry, and though her mother loves her fiercely, she must use ancient, emotionally abusive, cultlike rituals to train Mem to weep. When Mem emerges as the greatest wailer that the profession has ever seen, her infamy brings with it unwanted attention, especially from the authorities. Interweaving poetic prose and artifacts spanning six thousand years and seven continents, Open Me is an utterly original novel about mothers and daughters, dark underworlds, and the play between fact and fiction. A Reading Group Guide is including in this edition.
- GenresFiction
230 pages, Paperback
First published June 22, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
December 29, 2010
The prose in OPEN ME is lyrical, poetic, magical, and downright breathtaking. Many sentences I just had to re-read because of the sheer beauty of the words, the cadence of the sentences – but also because of the tangible, brilliant imagery they evoked. OPEN me, however, is much more than laudable literary fiction.
I was drawn in first and foremost by the unique topic: professional wailing. I had no idea such rituals existed in the United States – that women were paid to mourn at funerals as recently as the early nineties. So the story of a young girl ‘born’ into the profession piqued my curiosity immediately. And I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, there were so many things to consider after closing the final page that I’m sure this novel will stick with me for a long, long while.
I see a lot of thematic similarities with this story and Lisa See’s SNOWFLOWER & THE SECRET FAN in terms of the blurred lines between motherly love and cruelty when it comes to practiced ritual/tradition. I think O’Donnell portrayed the complex emotional dynamic of mother and daughter with great skill, showing us that love is never black and white.
While I adored this book, I did feel a personal need for additional explanation as to why professional mourners continued to be sought in the nineties. I understood, historically, their significance and evolution, but never quite connected with the need for a present-day wailer. Even so, I would recommend the book for its lyrical qualities and the complex story (and the brilliant ending).
I was drawn in first and foremost by the unique topic: professional wailing. I had no idea such rituals existed in the United States – that women were paid to mourn at funerals as recently as the early nineties. So the story of a young girl ‘born’ into the profession piqued my curiosity immediately. And I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, there were so many things to consider after closing the final page that I’m sure this novel will stick with me for a long, long while.
I see a lot of thematic similarities with this story and Lisa See’s SNOWFLOWER & THE SECRET FAN in terms of the blurred lines between motherly love and cruelty when it comes to practiced ritual/tradition. I think O’Donnell portrayed the complex emotional dynamic of mother and daughter with great skill, showing us that love is never black and white.
While I adored this book, I did feel a personal need for additional explanation as to why professional mourners continued to be sought in the nineties. I understood, historically, their significance and evolution, but never quite connected with the need for a present-day wailer. Even so, I would recommend the book for its lyrical qualities and the complex story (and the brilliant ending).
March 10, 2017
The writing is this book is so exceptional that I found myself reading and re-reading several passages simply for the beauty of the words and the rhythm of the prose. The book was about Wailing Women, a subculture that I knew nothing about and now find a bit appalling. The book centers around a young girl, Mem, who is a legend in the wailing world. The way they live, the methods used to evoke crying, their lifestyle all formed a complex and damaged psyche in the main character and her inner pondering, her complicated view of the world and of love and death and emotion are brilliantly drawn out, haunting, and disturbing.
August 6, 2007
This is a book about Wailers, people who get paid to cry at funerals. It was exceptional. The book alternates between fact and fiction. The character Mem is based on the last known working wailer in the United States. Wailing is illegal so it starts with a record of her arrest. Mem is the narrator and the chapters alternate her account and historic records, poems and articles about wailers.
I'm not going to reveal anything more about this book. You should read it. Trust me on this one. My IQ just went up 5 points and I actually enjoyed it.
I'm not going to reveal anything more about this book. You should read it. Trust me on this one. My IQ just went up 5 points and I actually enjoyed it.
December 21, 2010
I'm really not sure what to think of this book.
While there were good parts and the characters were well developed, it went on for too, too long and took itself far too, too seriously. Plus, I'm not really sure what to think about the "historical references" since they were only more bits of fiction added to reflect the storyline. It would have been interesting for some actual historical references to be added. The fake ones seemed to be pointless.
It is an interesting population, these professional mourners. But, like every interesting population that is little-known, the reader would like to find more information along the way. The searches I did came up with almost nothing about the modern history of these groups, so it was somewhat disappointing to realize that probably most of what was written in this book was simply made up in the author's head with no outside sources to back it up at all. Which makes it unlike other historical fiction, like that of Lisa See or Ami McKay.
I finished it. But, I wished it had been more than it was.
While there were good parts and the characters were well developed, it went on for too, too long and took itself far too, too seriously. Plus, I'm not really sure what to think about the "historical references" since they were only more bits of fiction added to reflect the storyline. It would have been interesting for some actual historical references to be added. The fake ones seemed to be pointless.
It is an interesting population, these professional mourners. But, like every interesting population that is little-known, the reader would like to find more information along the way. The searches I did came up with almost nothing about the modern history of these groups, so it was somewhat disappointing to realize that probably most of what was written in this book was simply made up in the author's head with no outside sources to back it up at all. Which makes it unlike other historical fiction, like that of Lisa See or Ami McKay.
I finished it. But, I wished it had been more than it was.
June 1, 2009
This is yet another book I read to escape from grief that ended up being about grief. You'd think I'd learn. I was drawn to it because it seemed to take place near my hometown and be about a weird cult thing.
It did deliver on those two items, but the rest of it fell short for me. It was dreamy where I wanted vivid and grim where I wanted peaceful. And there were quite a few times where I just couldn't figure out what was actually happening.
It's a big "meh" for me, but you may like it.
It did deliver on those two items, but the rest of it fell short for me. It was dreamy where I wanted vivid and grim where I wanted peaceful. And there were quite a few times where I just couldn't figure out what was actually happening.
It's a big "meh" for me, but you may like it.
February 4, 2010
The idea of a cult of professional mourners was so intriguing to me. The format of the book was interesting - each chapter was followed by a historical document about professional mourners. Unfortunately, the idea behind the book was much more intriguing than the book itself.
December 5, 2010
disturbing to think that a child has to grow up in this bizarre manner
October 19, 2019
Dark. Strange.
October 3, 2022
My English teacher wrote this!!!!!!!!
She's an amazing teacher and I cant wait to read this
She's an amazing teacher and I cant wait to read this
February 5, 2024
מרתק וסוחט נפשית
February 21, 2024
Fascinating peek into the lives of professional mourners, now an illegal profession.
May 19, 2025
Hauntingly chaotic
December 4, 2007
I can't recommend this book highly enough--it's elegant, informative, evocative, and truly moving. From the press release: "Mem is a wailer, a professional mourner hired to cry at funerals. One of the few remaining American girls in this secret, illegal profession, Mem hails from a long line of mourners, including her mother, a legendary master wailer hired for the most important funerals in her hometown of Philadelphia."
The book opens with a historical note from 2006 that sets the world and the story that we're about to enter. It introduces us to wailing in general, and Mirabelle (Mem) in particular.
"[...] Today, Mirabelle is in her twenties, although--as there is no legal documentation of her birth, life, or education--there is no way to confirm her actual age. Mirabelle continues to refuse to speak to the press and does not allow photographs. [...]"
We then move on to a brief interaction at a funeral where Mem was hired to mourn. This gives us a taste for the simple yet lyrical language Ms. O'Donnell uses to weave her tale, and drops us into a situation that itself weaves in and out of the story. It's a major event that drives much of the development of the story, although you don't see exactly how until the end.
This sets the structure for the rest of the novel, which is the tale of Mem's apprenticeship and eventual mastery: alternating between historical documents (letter fragments, poems, US senate bills, and more spanning thousands of years) and the narrative of her life.
Each chapter of Mem's story is meant to answer a question of the sort a wailer might be asked irrespective of their vow to not speak of such things--"Were you allowed to play like a normal child? Do you believe in ghosts? Have you ever lived in hiding? What happens when you just can't cry?" Some of these questions are answered better than others--the story is more important than attempting to infodump any particular piece of information and/or conjecture.
Ms. O'Donnell does a beautiful job of getting inside Mem's head and making "a normal childhood in the suburbs of Philadelphia in the 1980's" a truly surreal experience. We see everything through Mem's eyes, from simple interactions with the other girls of the neighborhood; to the games she plays with her cousin in their back yard; to her teenage interactions with her mother. Everything is just a little bit different, yet quite believable.
She says in the novel that death is something we're trained to ignore; and then keeps us focused on it throughout. Death has a central importance to the story, regardless of the immediate subject. Your own feelings about death, and death itself, cannot help being a part of the book as you read it, making it a very personal experience.
Again, from the press release: "Interweaving poetic prose and historical fact, Open me is an utterly original novel about mothers and daughters, dark underworlds, and the play between fact and fiction." I agree completely.
The book opens with a historical note from 2006 that sets the world and the story that we're about to enter. It introduces us to wailing in general, and Mirabelle (Mem) in particular.
"[...] Today, Mirabelle is in her twenties, although--as there is no legal documentation of her birth, life, or education--there is no way to confirm her actual age. Mirabelle continues to refuse to speak to the press and does not allow photographs. [...]"
We then move on to a brief interaction at a funeral where Mem was hired to mourn. This gives us a taste for the simple yet lyrical language Ms. O'Donnell uses to weave her tale, and drops us into a situation that itself weaves in and out of the story. It's a major event that drives much of the development of the story, although you don't see exactly how until the end.
This sets the structure for the rest of the novel, which is the tale of Mem's apprenticeship and eventual mastery: alternating between historical documents (letter fragments, poems, US senate bills, and more spanning thousands of years) and the narrative of her life.
Each chapter of Mem's story is meant to answer a question of the sort a wailer might be asked irrespective of their vow to not speak of such things--"Were you allowed to play like a normal child? Do you believe in ghosts? Have you ever lived in hiding? What happens when you just can't cry?" Some of these questions are answered better than others--the story is more important than attempting to infodump any particular piece of information and/or conjecture.
Ms. O'Donnell does a beautiful job of getting inside Mem's head and making "a normal childhood in the suburbs of Philadelphia in the 1980's" a truly surreal experience. We see everything through Mem's eyes, from simple interactions with the other girls of the neighborhood; to the games she plays with her cousin in their back yard; to her teenage interactions with her mother. Everything is just a little bit different, yet quite believable.
She says in the novel that death is something we're trained to ignore; and then keeps us focused on it throughout. Death has a central importance to the story, regardless of the immediate subject. Your own feelings about death, and death itself, cannot help being a part of the book as you read it, making it a very personal experience.
Again, from the press release: "Interweaving poetic prose and historical fact, Open me is an utterly original novel about mothers and daughters, dark underworlds, and the play between fact and fiction." I agree completely.
August 31, 2007
This was one of the best books I've read in an incredibly long time. The voice was fresh, and the concept of adding documents and poetry in between chapters headed by questions worked wonderfully. The book follows the rise of a young girl who works with her mother and other female relatives as a professional mourner (set in 20th century Pennsylvania). The story is not only about Mem, the protagonist, however, as Ms. O'Donnell explores (albeit briefly) relationships between mothers and daughters, sisters, family, friends, and she questions death and how it is handled. Mem remarks in one of the chapters about the different terms used for death - those used by the people performing the service, by children, and by others. This book is the author's debut novel, but she is no stranger to writing. Her poet's voice shines throughout the novel, and rather than detracting from the story, it adds to it. Her use of imagery helps to bring the characters to life, and it poses new ways for readers to look at everyday things. I highly recommend this book. Once I picked it up, I could not put it back down, and I know that I shall read it again.
September 20, 2011
This book was amazing! A definite "must read". I was lucky enough to have this recommended to me by Sunshine's former professor, and he did not steer me wrong. I hope she comes back to the University and does another reading/presentation so that I will be able to be among those discussing this gripping novel.
The story centers around a young girl and her mother, and follows the girl as she grows up. We learn the history of wailers and how her family got wrapped up in it. It is a gut-wrenching story of a child and her mother. I mean this book had me in tears and so angry I wanted to reach out to this girl (I thought it was a true story, at first). I was yelling inside and upset. Ya know how books sometimes give you a horrified feeling, and then run you through the ringer emotionally, but come together in the end? This is one of those books, I'm just sorry that I don't own it, but borrowed it from my professor.
The story centers around a young girl and her mother, and follows the girl as she grows up. We learn the history of wailers and how her family got wrapped up in it. It is a gut-wrenching story of a child and her mother. I mean this book had me in tears and so angry I wanted to reach out to this girl (I thought it was a true story, at first). I was yelling inside and upset. Ya know how books sometimes give you a horrified feeling, and then run you through the ringer emotionally, but come together in the end? This is one of those books, I'm just sorry that I don't own it, but borrowed it from my professor.
March 23, 2008
Picked this up at Barnes & Noble back home... caught my eye, and seemed intriguing enough to actually buy without having read first (I only do that with select authors). I'm really happy that I did.
I've always heard of professional mourners, "Wailing Women", etc. I wasn't aware that it was still existing even into the late 1990s. I associate it more with ancient Rome and Greek than anything else. But Mirabelle, as she's known, worked from 1985 (at 6 years old) until 1999. She's still alive and well, but obviously not doing what she did before.
It's an amazingly lyrical book. The author is a poet first, and it's easy to tell. The words just flow off the page, as if you were having the very same thoughts. And I feel it's educational as well. :)
I've always heard of professional mourners, "Wailing Women", etc. I wasn't aware that it was still existing even into the late 1990s. I associate it more with ancient Rome and Greek than anything else. But Mirabelle, as she's known, worked from 1985 (at 6 years old) until 1999. She's still alive and well, but obviously not doing what she did before.
It's an amazingly lyrical book. The author is a poet first, and it's easy to tell. The words just flow off the page, as if you were having the very same thoughts. And I feel it's educational as well. :)
July 26, 2010
I often steer away from the literary genre due to its tendency to lean toward grim, dense passages of unnecessary metaphor that lend themselves to academically perfect technique, but drop the ball on story. However, after reading the sample of Open Me, I was engaged enough to purchase the ebook. I read from start to finish, unable to put it down. The story of Mem drew me in and resonated in the deepest parts of my soul. Though I am obviously not a professional mourner, every woman understands inherently the complex relationship between mother and daughter. The story was perfectly told, the writing sublime. O'Donnell puts her characters through exquisite torture and soul-rending transformation. I look forward to reading her work through the years.
February 4, 2012
This was a dark book about the training of child professional mourners. The main character is Mem who is trained/indoctrinated by her mother into the "profession". It's tough to read about how vulnerable children like Mem were as a result of the business relationships their "managers" valued over the welfare of the child.
I did like the way the book was organized - alternating the fictional story with artifacts from the near and distant past relative to the subject. This leaves it to the reader to make the connections between fact and fiction.
I wasn't sure by the end if I bought the connections, but feel I learned something about history.
I did like the way the book was organized - alternating the fictional story with artifacts from the near and distant past relative to the subject. This leaves it to the reader to make the connections between fact and fiction.
I wasn't sure by the end if I bought the connections, but feel I learned something about history.
July 10, 2011
Not sure where I picked up this book - I think it was last summer's clearance sale at B&N...... This was interesting but honestly if the book had a preview on the back cover of what it was really about, I don't know if I would have picked it up. Of course I'm trying to "branch out" from what I normally read, so I did finish this and am glad that I did. It is an easy read although a rather interesting topic (women and their daughters paid to wail at funerals and the history of their lineage through ancient times). This was an easy read and one I'll pass along but not one I would read again.
February 2, 2008
This was a fascinating book! I had read one other book with a mention of "wailers" at a funeral. I had no idea it was still going on. I had no idea what the title of "Wailer" meant - the history, the lifestyle, the strangeness of it. Although the story of this little girl, groomed by her mother to be a wailer, is sad I didn't find the book depressing or morbid. It was hard to put down because it was such an interesting glimpse into a completely unheard of world!
October 14, 2010
This book started out OK, but it really never got better than that. And the ending was flat. Honestly, the entire book was flat. The story was never engaging. I was able to put the book down any time I wanted to. I never cared that much for any of the characters, not even enough to dislike them. Even the writing was flat.
March 30, 2009
This book is one of the most original books that I have read in a while, especially due to the subject manner. It is half historical artifacts and half a fictional account of a young wailer. I found it highly engaging and her style of writing easy to read. It is about funerals and wailing so it is not the most uplifting book though.
March 8, 2011
I enjoyed this book. The writing was wonderfully descriptive and full of emotion. I could relate to Mem's relationship with her mother, the affection followed by the unpredictable, and inevitable emotional abuse. I really enjoyed the breaks between each chapter, from the main story to include a poem or article about the history of Wailers. Definitely a pleasant surprise for a bargain book.
December 7, 2010
I could tell right away that O'Donnell was also a poet. Her metaphors and images are dead on and startlingly beautiful. The content of the book was brand new, an interesting mix of fiction and non-fiction, history and created history. The resolution to the book is not anti-climactic. If you enjoy Joyce Carol Oates or Margaret Atwood, you would enjoy Sunshine O'Donnell.
January 20, 2014
Really enjoyed reading this book! First of all the subject matter was very interesting, something I never really knew anything about until now. I also very much enjoyed the way that Sunshine O'Donnell writes, it is very lyrical and mesmerizing. I greatly anticipate her next book, hopefully it is coming out sooner than later.
March 10, 2014
Open Me, by Sunshine O'Donnell, was a very intriguing look into the lives of professional Wailers (Mourners). Prior to reading this book, I never knew that such a profession / service existed! Ms. O'Donnell truly captured the "grooming" of the main character, Mem into this unusual lifestyle, and she also shares actual historical references about professional Wailers. A very interesting read!
July 16, 2007
You can tell it's the debut novel of a poet with its breathtakingly lyrical imageries and sensitivity to the presence of moments. The themes, while interesting, are not explored to a satisfying depth, but provides plenty of food for thought anyway. (Woman's lit; 220 pages)
September 7, 2008
Dark plot - women who are professional mourners (an ancient profession and lineage). Looks closely at the relationship between mothers and daughters.
The book is interjected with odd "historical notes" to make the plot seem more realistic. I am still getting used to this style.
The book is interjected with odd "historical notes" to make the plot seem more realistic. I am still getting used to this style.
August 20, 2008
An interesting premise that may or may not be used to its potential. I don't love it so far, but I'm giving it a fair chance.
Update: I've actually given up on this one without finishing it. I find the writing style too amateurish to lose myself in it.
Update: I've actually given up on this one without finishing it. I find the writing style too amateurish to lose myself in it.
January 24, 2009
What starts off as an interesting concept "wailers hired to wail at funerals" quickly descends into the dysfunctional life of Mem who is about to start her first funeral. Not at all what I expected. I could not finish the book as I saw no value in turning the pages any further.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews