In the Ever After - Fairy Tales and the Second Half of Life

by Allan B. Chinen

Do adults ever live happily ever after? Interpreted in light of contemporary research on mid-life and aging, these rare fairy tales reveal a deep folk wisdom about the psychological tasks encountered in the second half of life. Collected from around the world, these stories offer an engaging exploration into the problems of adulthood and aging. The author is a psychiatrist practicing in San Francisco. He has published numerous papers on adult development and aging. This book assembles "for the first time" fairy tales in which elders are protagonists. The stories are delightful in themselves, but interpreted under Chinen's skillful hand, they offer a psychology of maturity where wit and wisdom replace the audacity and strength of youth. The book is (according to Jungian Analyst June Singer) in a word wonderful. It is also beautifully written, so heartwarming and so wise.

Genres: Fairy Tales, Nonfiction, Aging

203 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 1989

Reviews

[Lauren Davis]

Wonderful and wise. The book is comprised of a number of 'elder' fairy tales, which are fairly difficult to find among the mountain of youth tales, wherein the hero (rarely the heroine) sets off in search of fortune. These tales explore the themes of age and act as a guide to aging well. They speak of confronting the shadow self, and acceptance, and regaining enchantment and innocence, and wisdom and how to offer that wisdom to the next generation. I was enthralled from beginning to end and felt as though I knew myself better, and was better equipped to navigate the shoals of old age, for having read it.

Highly recommended.

[Beth]

This is Chinen's first book of mid-life fairy tales that came to my attention. He is masterful at finding myths and stories about what happens after "Happily ever after." The story, The Woodcutter, is particularly one of my favorites. I highly recommend this book.

[Chris]

Reading this book led me to: have a little less fear for growing older, appreciate grandparents even more, see facets of personality in a new light, be very curious about the links between developmental psychology and the stories people tell each other, be entertained.

[Gabby Tucciarone]

This book was a combination of psychological symbolism and fairytales and it created magic. I really loved the collections of fairytales about old people and the magic that can come later in life. Some of the analysis can get heavy into psychological theory that I didn’t personally know but I felt that the author did a good job tying the themes together and connecting the overarching beliefs in the book. I really loved how it the heart of this collection was that older individuals should throw away social conventions and embrace innocence and childlike joy.

[Marge]

This book consists of 15 stories chosen by Chinin to explore what happens when an elder is the central character in a story rather than some sort of guide figure for young people or a witch! After each story, Chinin analyzes the story for what it shows about the "second half of life." Chinin notes a fairly constant presence of poverty in the stories, but in his conclusion (p.149), he says, ". . . unlike the hero, the elder does not leave his or her dismal situation seeking better fortune. Instead, fortune comes to him, in the middle of ordinary, everyday chores, and the elder's task is to be open to this unexpected magic. If the virtues of youth are courage, perseverance, and confidence, those of the elder are alertness, openness, and curiosity." I enjoyed reading the tales and the commentaries.

[River King]

Fascinating. great to come across fairy tales for older people, and to have Chinen's interpretations. Very thought provoking

[Lennie Noiles]

When I first finished and put the book down I thought this was an average book (3 stars). But then as I thought about it it did make me think about the tales we tell in midlife, which would push it up to 4 stars based on my rating system. As I reflect I would say the book is solidly between 3 and 4 stars. I would recommend it to the midlife child in each of us for the collection stories alone. The interpretation and analysis, although insightful, could have contributed more for the reader to explore on their journey. The analysis felt a bit too safe inside accepted norms. And stories of the unconscious, midlife or otherwise, are neither. I would have enjoyed more depth and less unequivocalness.

[Miz Lizzie]

An excellent collection of fairy tales, most not well-known, that focus on the journey of the Elder, rather than the Hero. The analysis given by psychiatrist Allan Chinen at the end of each tale draws out the lessons to be learned and integrated into the lives of those in their mid- to elder years who are negotiating the challenges of aging and mortality. A lot of food for thought and, even better, a great source for some Elder tales that deserve to be revived, told, and better known.

Book Pairings:
Another great collection with analysis by Allan B. Chinen is Once Upon a Midlife.

[Zoe]

This is an excellent collection of authentic, international folk tales that have older adults as their main characters. The author groups the stories by theme, gives explanations after each story and ties them together beautifully. This is an essential book for people who work with older adults.

[Tim Mansfield]

A terrific collection of tales about older people which are very hard to find! I appreciated Alan’s careful unpacking of the themes of the stories in terms of his ideas of the key challenges of later life. I read this slowly (one tale per day) and I’m glad I did - it deserves time to soak in

[Lynne Spreen]

What an interesting book. A psychiatrist who is/was on faculty at UC San Francisco, who specializes in adult development and aging, analyzes rare fairy tales from around the world which feature old people working through the challenges of later life. He says just as tales about youth serve as parables to show us how to handle challenges of the first half of life, older-adult tales do the same for the unique challenges of later life.

After each of the fifteen tales, Chinen provides interpretation of the lessons as they apply to older adults. Using Erik Eriksen's developmental stages, and citing Carl Jung and others, he demonstrates how metaphor and symbols depict the continuing development of older people. But with our culture's emphasis on age, these lessons and tales have been lost, until now.

Here's an example: After "The Old Man Who Lost His Wen" (Japan), Chinen explains how many older people (Jung, for example, and Paul Gauguin) in older age break from cultural norms, transcend egocentric concerns, and reach Abraham Maslow's stage of "self-actualization." Another theme prevalent in many of the stories is that of generativity: the mentoring of youth. Chinen summarizes at the end of "The Old Man...": "Although magical, the story of the old man with the wen is more than a fairy tale. It reflects a lofty potential of human development that can be seen in different cultures around the world--a vision of what mature adults can aspire to, and an alternative to the specter of decline."

A thoughtful, reassuring book. I'm thinking of buying the paperback as well, so I can mark it up and refer to it when I'm a very old woman and need a little dose of inspiration.

[A Z]

I love this book. I got more out of it than I thought I even would. It was fuel for my imagination. Plus I love to see work that puts a positive spin on aging since American views on that is kind of mean.