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When You See Her
Trapped and isolated in small-town Wisconsin, Sarah wants nothing more than to blend in and lead a normal life away from her abusive brother. Weighing five hundred pounds and having no job or formal education, however, makes this almost impossible.
When Sarah commits an unthinkable act, she seizes the only opportunity available to escape the consequences of her actions. She contacts the carnival man who previously offered her a job as a sideshow act. Burying her guilt, Sarah leaves home and begins performing under the stage name Lola Rolls.
Traveling from town to town, Lola wonders if it’s possible to hide in plain sight and truly outrun her past. She builds lasting friendships along the way, and as the quality of her performances improves, she starts on a path to self-reliance and self-acceptance.
Set in the late 1970s, When You See Her is an immersive page-turner that explores what it means to be both visible and invisible, simultaneously desired and reviled, while carving out a space in a too-small world.
When Sarah commits an unthinkable act, she seizes the only opportunity available to escape the consequences of her actions. She contacts the carnival man who previously offered her a job as a sideshow act. Burying her guilt, Sarah leaves home and begins performing under the stage name Lola Rolls.
Traveling from town to town, Lola wonders if it’s possible to hide in plain sight and truly outrun her past. She builds lasting friendships along the way, and as the quality of her performances improves, she starts on a path to self-reliance and self-acceptance.
Set in the late 1970s, When You See Her is an immersive page-turner that explores what it means to be both visible and invisible, simultaneously desired and reviled, while carving out a space in a too-small world.
- GenresFiction
308 pages, Paperback
Published January 24, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
April 1, 2023
Long before AI started displacing workers, TV did away with whole sectors…namely the traveling carnival sideshows that brought entertainment to small towns in the US not so long ago. Barbara Boehm Miller helps us befriend a small band of these carnival folks, thrown together by dreadful misfortune into a dying carnival life, yet capable of relationships more warm and enduring than many of those forged by people who don’t perform under tents for a living. As a heavy-set person myself, I thought Ms Miller captured perfectly the daily physical struggles of 500-pound Lola, the main character, while leaving Lola’s dignity fully intact. And because I am a child of the 70s, this book was a nostalgia fest that had me ask my mom if my old 45s were still in her basement. I’m a non fiction reader, with only 75 novels under my belt, but this one stood out as one of the best on my list, and I felt a rush of sadness that I couldn’t visit with Lola and her friends anymore when I read the last page. Carnivals always scared me; now I want to run away and join one. And make some really good friends there.
April 19, 2023
Thank you to my partner, Suzy Approved Book Tours, and the author, Barbara Boehm Miller. I appreciate the gifted and signed paperback, and I am leaving this review voluntarily!
1. Taking Advantage - Wow. It seems like Sarah has a place to get away, albeit, to be a spectacle. Yet, right off the bat, Jim takes what he wants and then makes her feel awful shortly after. However, as time goes on, it becomes obvious that it was exactly what she needed.
2. Conflicted - As Lola states, “In that conglomeration of outsiders, I was where I belonged — on the inside.” The camaraderie that the so-called freaks had was so apparent in this book. Obviously, these acts are not allowed any longer; yet, feeling her immediate acceptance, finally, sure makes me think about those times.
3. Found Family - Wow. This is such a reoccurring theme in my reads lately! For Lola, she truly found the only people who would love her for who she was and not try to make her change.
4. Happiness For Everyone - I guess with happily-ever-after books I sometimes find that it can be a tad unbelievable. With this one, however, I cried and rejoiced to hear the wonderful ways in which the characters’ lives all came together in the end.
5. The Reason for Book Tours - These reads are the ones that reinforce my incessant need to sign up for so many book tours. I am confident that I would probably have never read this book had I not taken advantage of the tour. This is a story of redemption through and through and I sure hope you will take a chance on it and read it!
1. Taking Advantage - Wow. It seems like Sarah has a place to get away, albeit, to be a spectacle. Yet, right off the bat, Jim takes what he wants and then makes her feel awful shortly after. However, as time goes on, it becomes obvious that it was exactly what she needed.
2. Conflicted - As Lola states, “In that conglomeration of outsiders, I was where I belonged — on the inside.” The camaraderie that the so-called freaks had was so apparent in this book. Obviously, these acts are not allowed any longer; yet, feeling her immediate acceptance, finally, sure makes me think about those times.
3. Found Family - Wow. This is such a reoccurring theme in my reads lately! For Lola, she truly found the only people who would love her for who she was and not try to make her change.
4. Happiness For Everyone - I guess with happily-ever-after books I sometimes find that it can be a tad unbelievable. With this one, however, I cried and rejoiced to hear the wonderful ways in which the characters’ lives all came together in the end.
5. The Reason for Book Tours - These reads are the ones that reinforce my incessant need to sign up for so many book tours. I am confident that I would probably have never read this book had I not taken advantage of the tour. This is a story of redemption through and through and I sure hope you will take a chance on it and read it!
June 16, 2023
TITLE: WHEN YOU SEE HER
AUTHOR: Barbara Boehm Miller
PUB DATE: 01.23.23 Now Available
SYNOPSIS: Swipe Above
In When You See Her, author Barbara Boehm Miller opened my eyes to the world of the traveling circus as we follow the life of Sarah from a small town in Wisconsin who is trying to escape her abusive brother.
When you see her… Sarah is 500 pounds with no future, no education, and no one loving her
When you see her… Sarah transforms into Lola Rolls as a spectacle in the circus - making friends along the way
When you see her … Sarah finds friendships and more in her found family, among the society’s freaks
When you see her.. is a very unique story that is emotionally charged, gripping, with characters that will stay with you long after you read the last page.
When you see her is a story about a big girl with big dreams fit for the big screen. Big applause for Barbara Boehm Miller!
AUTHOR: Barbara Boehm Miller
PUB DATE: 01.23.23 Now Available
SYNOPSIS: Swipe Above
In When You See Her, author Barbara Boehm Miller opened my eyes to the world of the traveling circus as we follow the life of Sarah from a small town in Wisconsin who is trying to escape her abusive brother.
When you see her… Sarah is 500 pounds with no future, no education, and no one loving her
When you see her… Sarah transforms into Lola Rolls as a spectacle in the circus - making friends along the way
When you see her … Sarah finds friendships and more in her found family, among the society’s freaks
When you see her.. is a very unique story that is emotionally charged, gripping, with characters that will stay with you long after you read the last page.
When you see her is a story about a big girl with big dreams fit for the big screen. Big applause for Barbara Boehm Miller!
July 22, 2024
Good read!
September 16, 2024
Trigger warnings: fat shaming/fat phobia, SA, violence, illegal activity
***************
I read romance almost exclusively, with an occasional biography or cozy mystery for a palate cleanser. But after reading a blurb on this women’s fiction title, I was intrigued. Sarah/Lola is seventeen years old and weighs over five hundred pounds. As a very fat woman myself, I had to read it, as it’s probably the only book I’ve ever read, including those with “plus size representation”, with someone who is bigger than I am. This book is going to stick with me for a long time, but not in a good way.
The narrative, set in the mid nineteen seventies, opens with Sarah needing to escape her extremely sheltered life. In her desperation, she joins the carnival to become a side show fat lady. As the story progresses, we learn why she needed to escape and watch her grow up, learning about herself and making friends, as she travels in the unsavory world of carnies. She experiences more between the ages of seventeen and twenty seven than most people experience over seventy years.
The author employs unfiltered realism and somehow manages to make the unlikeable sympathetic. I didn’t want to like this story with its fallacious characters and gritty chapters, but I found an empathy for Sarah I cannot explain. I even understood the motivations of Jim and GiGi. If this were a movie, I’d rate it R. Overall plot/writing are 4/5 stars, 0/5 hearts for romance (not the point of the book,) 3/5 guns for violence, and I’m not rating for spice because that’s not the point with this one.
Here are a couple significant quotes, ones which I feel are what will stay with me:
“The people I had encountered until this point in my life, fewer and fewer in the growing number of years since I had to leave school, considered me nothing more than a shocking, repellent visual oddity. My fatness was my entire identity to them. They wouldn’t think me competent enough, sentient enough, or even human enough to have a broken heart and execute actions I would regret. Even at five hundred pounds, I was invisible. Performing in front of a crowd probably wouldn’t make me any less so.”
“I looked out at the assembled congregation of people, some of them freaks like Lobster Boy and Stumpy, who had no lower half. Others had unusual bodies, like Ike, Freddy, and me. Still others might have looked normal but nonetheless were unable or unwilling to make a go of it in regular society. It was indeed a hard life—being a spectacle on the one hand but being shunned and disdained on the other, with people willing to interact only under certain circumstances.”
Indeed.
***************
I read romance almost exclusively, with an occasional biography or cozy mystery for a palate cleanser. But after reading a blurb on this women’s fiction title, I was intrigued. Sarah/Lola is seventeen years old and weighs over five hundred pounds. As a very fat woman myself, I had to read it, as it’s probably the only book I’ve ever read, including those with “plus size representation”, with someone who is bigger than I am. This book is going to stick with me for a long time, but not in a good way.
The narrative, set in the mid nineteen seventies, opens with Sarah needing to escape her extremely sheltered life. In her desperation, she joins the carnival to become a side show fat lady. As the story progresses, we learn why she needed to escape and watch her grow up, learning about herself and making friends, as she travels in the unsavory world of carnies. She experiences more between the ages of seventeen and twenty seven than most people experience over seventy years.
The author employs unfiltered realism and somehow manages to make the unlikeable sympathetic. I didn’t want to like this story with its fallacious characters and gritty chapters, but I found an empathy for Sarah I cannot explain. I even understood the motivations of Jim and GiGi. If this were a movie, I’d rate it R. Overall plot/writing are 4/5 stars, 0/5 hearts for romance (not the point of the book,) 3/5 guns for violence, and I’m not rating for spice because that’s not the point with this one.
Here are a couple significant quotes, ones which I feel are what will stay with me:
“The people I had encountered until this point in my life, fewer and fewer in the growing number of years since I had to leave school, considered me nothing more than a shocking, repellent visual oddity. My fatness was my entire identity to them. They wouldn’t think me competent enough, sentient enough, or even human enough to have a broken heart and execute actions I would regret. Even at five hundred pounds, I was invisible. Performing in front of a crowd probably wouldn’t make me any less so.”
“I looked out at the assembled congregation of people, some of them freaks like Lobster Boy and Stumpy, who had no lower half. Others had unusual bodies, like Ike, Freddy, and me. Still others might have looked normal but nonetheless were unable or unwilling to make a go of it in regular society. It was indeed a hard life—being a spectacle on the one hand but being shunned and disdained on the other, with people willing to interact only under certain circumstances.”
Indeed.
January 13, 2023
It’s 1976 in small-town Wisconsin. Sarah is a 500-pound teenage girl, uneducated and isolated, living trapped in a house with an abusive brother since her beloved father died. One night she makes an unspeakable mistake. To escape, she grabs the opportunity of joining a travelling carnival as their sideshow fat lady. Even though “decent people didn’t run away with the carnival”, Sarah literally has nowhere else to turn, and she hopes that the carnival could be the thing she prays will save her.
After a lifetime of trying to be invisible and hiding away from the stares and judgment of other people, Sarah must learn to become “prancing and visible, an abundant sideshow attraction” and perform for her public as Lola Rolls. As she makes true and lasting friends along the way, she grows in confidence. Can she be truly independent? Can she accept herself for who she is? Her journey of self-discovery is as realistic as it is touching.
In When You See Her, author Barbara Boehm Miller creates a rich and colorful world that is inhabited by believable individuals who display remarkable resilience in the face of their difficult lives. Miller’s dialogue is masterful, and she writes with great authority. The first-person point of view and narrative in Sarah’s voice work together to give the reader a profound understanding of Sarah and her motivations.
Sarah’s character is drawn with compelling dexterity and empathy. From the opening scene where she is standing with a skillet in her hand to losing her virginity to a man more than twice her age, to her transformation into a self-sufficient woman, Miller hardly puts a foot wrong. The audience is hooked, drawn in and held to the last page.
When You See Her is a story that is well-written, gripping and emotionally charged.
After a lifetime of trying to be invisible and hiding away from the stares and judgment of other people, Sarah must learn to become “prancing and visible, an abundant sideshow attraction” and perform for her public as Lola Rolls. As she makes true and lasting friends along the way, she grows in confidence. Can she be truly independent? Can she accept herself for who she is? Her journey of self-discovery is as realistic as it is touching.
In When You See Her, author Barbara Boehm Miller creates a rich and colorful world that is inhabited by believable individuals who display remarkable resilience in the face of their difficult lives. Miller’s dialogue is masterful, and she writes with great authority. The first-person point of view and narrative in Sarah’s voice work together to give the reader a profound understanding of Sarah and her motivations.
Sarah’s character is drawn with compelling dexterity and empathy. From the opening scene where she is standing with a skillet in her hand to losing her virginity to a man more than twice her age, to her transformation into a self-sufficient woman, Miller hardly puts a foot wrong. The audience is hooked, drawn in and held to the last page.
When You See Her is a story that is well-written, gripping and emotionally charged.
February 2, 2023
Sarah is such a relatable character and she evokes so much empathy from the reader. You are immediately pulled in to her world from the beginning. This book is a gripping tale of a teenage girl finding her way in the world as she becomes a woman and embraces life. She has some very vibrant experiences with carnival life along the way and this book paints that picture so vividly. I highly recommend this read. I couldn't put it down and I'm thirsty for more from Miller. Share with book clubbers. You don't want to miss this one!
June 7, 2023
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔
❤️ love to see body inclusivity in books
🥶 are from Wisconsin
🎪 enjoy going to the circus
🪩 grew up in the 70s
• 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄
Sarah, 17 years old and a 500 pound orphan, runs away and joins the circus to work the fat lady act.
• 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓
Trapped and isolated in small-town Wisconsin, Sarah wants nothing more than to blend in and lead a normal life away from her abusive brother. Weighing five hundred pounds with no job or formal education makes this impossible though. When the carnival comes to town, the head of the sideshow hears about Sarah and offers her a job as a performer. Despite her desire to escape home, Sarah is repelled by the idea of being made so visible after years of hiding behind closed doors.
When Sarah commits an unthinkable act, however, she must take the only opportunity available to run away from the consequences of her actions. She leaves home, never to return, and performs in the sideshow under the stage name, Lola Rolls. Traveling from town to town, Lola wonders if it is possible to hide in plain sight, and if a person truly can outrun her past. Along the way, Lola also makes lasting friendships, and, as the quality of her performances improve, so too does her ingenuity and her path to self-reliance and self-acceptance.
• 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒
This was such a moving and heartfelt story about a woman trying to find herself in a world that does not accommodate people like her at the time of writing. I really felt so much sorrow for Sarah and wanted to jump between the pages and help her however I could. I loved everything about this book. It also really reminded me of the Freak Show season of AHS (American Horror Story) with the diverse characters and interactions. I loved seeing life from her POV. My empathy levels were going off the chart for her! I can’t wait to read more by Barbara!
❤️ love to see body inclusivity in books
🥶 are from Wisconsin
🎪 enjoy going to the circus
🪩 grew up in the 70s
• 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄
Sarah, 17 years old and a 500 pound orphan, runs away and joins the circus to work the fat lady act.
• 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓
Trapped and isolated in small-town Wisconsin, Sarah wants nothing more than to blend in and lead a normal life away from her abusive brother. Weighing five hundred pounds with no job or formal education makes this impossible though. When the carnival comes to town, the head of the sideshow hears about Sarah and offers her a job as a performer. Despite her desire to escape home, Sarah is repelled by the idea of being made so visible after years of hiding behind closed doors.
When Sarah commits an unthinkable act, however, she must take the only opportunity available to run away from the consequences of her actions. She leaves home, never to return, and performs in the sideshow under the stage name, Lola Rolls. Traveling from town to town, Lola wonders if it is possible to hide in plain sight, and if a person truly can outrun her past. Along the way, Lola also makes lasting friendships, and, as the quality of her performances improve, so too does her ingenuity and her path to self-reliance and self-acceptance.
• 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒
This was such a moving and heartfelt story about a woman trying to find herself in a world that does not accommodate people like her at the time of writing. I really felt so much sorrow for Sarah and wanted to jump between the pages and help her however I could. I loved everything about this book. It also really reminded me of the Freak Show season of AHS (American Horror Story) with the diverse characters and interactions. I loved seeing life from her POV. My empathy levels were going off the chart for her! I can’t wait to read more by Barbara!
May 17, 2025
Set in 1976 during the nation's independence, Barbara Boehm Miller's novel of a 500 pound homebound teenager is one of the most unique coming of age stories I've read. After a tragic altercation with her brother, Sara knows she must flee. With no family or real friends to support her, Her only option in her limited world is to seek the help of a traveling carnival where she is cast as the new fat lady act.
Sara is naive in all things, but not the hurt of being invisible and discarded due to her size. And while we don't learn directly how she became so obese, there are clear hints from her childhood, her abusive brother, late father, a mother who committed suicide, and Miller's portrayal of how Sara feels comfort about food and eating.
Miller's mid-1970s carnival world is a fascinating cultural study of American's shifting entertainment tastes, a post-Vietnman era America. A people no longer naive themselves about the outside word who are no longer interested in seeing the tattooed man, lobster claw family, or the fat lady. But it is with these casts-off and misfits that Sara now reborn as Lola Rolls finds her family. Her size and her internal growth slot her into a world people never see. Miller has done her research and has created a carnival culture that feels authentic as she has created scenes and events based on the people who see everyone as a mark and a means of getting a buck.
But all is not cotton candy and popcorn in this story. Miller doesn't shy away from the harder side of life and women at the center of toxic masculinity. Scenes of sexual assault, drug use, and physical violence and the consequences are here too. This is the carnival life that Lola must navigate as she learns how to survive and reconcile her past with what she wants for her future.
Sara is naive in all things, but not the hurt of being invisible and discarded due to her size. And while we don't learn directly how she became so obese, there are clear hints from her childhood, her abusive brother, late father, a mother who committed suicide, and Miller's portrayal of how Sara feels comfort about food and eating.
Miller's mid-1970s carnival world is a fascinating cultural study of American's shifting entertainment tastes, a post-Vietnman era America. A people no longer naive themselves about the outside word who are no longer interested in seeing the tattooed man, lobster claw family, or the fat lady. But it is with these casts-off and misfits that Sara now reborn as Lola Rolls finds her family. Her size and her internal growth slot her into a world people never see. Miller has done her research and has created a carnival culture that feels authentic as she has created scenes and events based on the people who see everyone as a mark and a means of getting a buck.
But all is not cotton candy and popcorn in this story. Miller doesn't shy away from the harder side of life and women at the center of toxic masculinity. Scenes of sexual assault, drug use, and physical violence and the consequences are here too. This is the carnival life that Lola must navigate as she learns how to survive and reconcile her past with what she wants for her future.
August 9, 2024
Thank you to Bookish Road Trip (FB), the author, and the publisher.
This book was set in the 1970s which is unusual for me with carnivals since the ones I've read are mostly set in the 1940s for some reason.
Sarah lives in a small town in Wisconsin and wants nothing more than to lead a normal life away from her abusive brother. Weighing 500 pounds and having no job or formal education, makes this almost impossible. She seeks out the carnival men who previously offered her a job. They still want her for the side show as the fat lady. She has another reason for joining the circus and since the cops are usually around circuses to shoo them away or otherwise, Sarah always has to be careful and on guard.
The second scene/chapter of the book starts with Jim, who runs the sideshows. I'm not saying this to be gross or anything but the description of him folding her fat and rearranging it was a definite turn off when they were having sex was a bit too descriptive for my taste. I can't unsee it and I've read books with sex and much more in them.
Sarah is sort of quiet and shy and has a hard time warming up to people. They “throw” her on the stage immediately that night when she arrives, and she doesn't know what to do which you can't blame her. With a lot of traveling carnivals, friendships are formed. I've read a few books like this and always enjoyed books with these themes since they are multi-faceted with interesting people and places they travel to. The sideshow characters were the usual you see in carnivals. My favorite character besides Sarah (aka Lola--her stage name) was Gigi her best friend.
Did I enjoy/like this book? It wasn't boring or exciting but just ok. I loved the epilogue as I mostly do in books.
This book was set in the 1970s which is unusual for me with carnivals since the ones I've read are mostly set in the 1940s for some reason.
Sarah lives in a small town in Wisconsin and wants nothing more than to lead a normal life away from her abusive brother. Weighing 500 pounds and having no job or formal education, makes this almost impossible. She seeks out the carnival men who previously offered her a job. They still want her for the side show as the fat lady. She has another reason for joining the circus and since the cops are usually around circuses to shoo them away or otherwise, Sarah always has to be careful and on guard.
The second scene/chapter of the book starts with Jim, who runs the sideshows. I'm not saying this to be gross or anything but the description of him folding her fat and rearranging it was a definite turn off when they were having sex was a bit too descriptive for my taste. I can't unsee it and I've read books with sex and much more in them.
Sarah is sort of quiet and shy and has a hard time warming up to people. They “throw” her on the stage immediately that night when she arrives, and she doesn't know what to do which you can't blame her. With a lot of traveling carnivals, friendships are formed. I've read a few books like this and always enjoyed books with these themes since they are multi-faceted with interesting people and places they travel to. The sideshow characters were the usual you see in carnivals. My favorite character besides Sarah (aka Lola--her stage name) was Gigi her best friend.
Did I enjoy/like this book? It wasn't boring or exciting but just ok. I loved the epilogue as I mostly do in books.
April 2, 2023
🎡🎡🎡
🎡Home. If there’s any better place in the world, I can’t think of where that might be. Although I love to travel, home will always be my favorite destination.
🎡The past few days as I traveled from Florida to my home, with many zigs and zags in between, I read When You See Her by Barbara Boehm Miller. This is the story of Sarah in the late 70’s when she’s about 17. Sarah weighs over 500 pounds. Because of her weight she has a very small life. She had to leave school after 4th grade because she no longer fit in the desks. She lives with her brother but he makes her stay in her room. He’s embarrassed of her. But one day when he pushes Sarah too far, she stands up to him finally- with tragic results. She needs an escape and the only one available to her is joining a traveling carnival- as the fat lady.
🎡I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Sarah’s (Lola) dialogue is spot on for her character. The band of misfits she begins collecting are a true found family for Sarah- a sword swallower, tattoo man, a fortune teller and more. Sarah found her home with these people. I’ve said this a lot lately- but this would make a great movie. Miller’s writing is fabulous and the storyline is like nothing I have read in a very long time.
#whenyouseeher #barbaraboehmmiller #1970s #circus #carnival #fatlady #mystery #foundfamily #home #midwest #murder #whatshouldireadnext #reesewitherspoonbookclub #booktomovie #reesewitherspoon #booklover #bookrecommendations #bookclub #bookclubofinstagram #aprilfools
🎡Home. If there’s any better place in the world, I can’t think of where that might be. Although I love to travel, home will always be my favorite destination.
🎡The past few days as I traveled from Florida to my home, with many zigs and zags in between, I read When You See Her by Barbara Boehm Miller. This is the story of Sarah in the late 70’s when she’s about 17. Sarah weighs over 500 pounds. Because of her weight she has a very small life. She had to leave school after 4th grade because she no longer fit in the desks. She lives with her brother but he makes her stay in her room. He’s embarrassed of her. But one day when he pushes Sarah too far, she stands up to him finally- with tragic results. She needs an escape and the only one available to her is joining a traveling carnival- as the fat lady.
🎡I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Sarah’s (Lola) dialogue is spot on for her character. The band of misfits she begins collecting are a true found family for Sarah- a sword swallower, tattoo man, a fortune teller and more. Sarah found her home with these people. I’ve said this a lot lately- but this would make a great movie. Miller’s writing is fabulous and the storyline is like nothing I have read in a very long time.
#whenyouseeher #barbaraboehmmiller #1970s #circus #carnival #fatlady #mystery #foundfamily #home #midwest #murder #whatshouldireadnext #reesewitherspoonbookclub #booktomovie #reesewitherspoon #booklover #bookrecommendations #bookclub #bookclubofinstagram #aprilfools
May 13, 2023
I have always enjoyed novels about the circus, and this one based in the 70's shows that not much had changed through out the decades. They still traveled from city to city as a vagabond group and often each had something they were running from or looking for. Sarah has had a very hard life with her size and knowing all too well what it feels like to be a freak, but when her brother eventually pushes her too far she finally stands up for herself and in turn gains some self confidence and ventures into the world on her own. Told through the eyes of an obese teenage girl who feels she has no other option but to join the circus quickly gets thrown into the real world of those who take advantage of her, and yet have a soft spot in protecting her as well. Sarah learns that she is not the only one with secrets and a life she ran from, but finally feels at home with these outcast characters, as who else to better understand how she has been treated her whole life. An eye opening read about the struggles of someone like Sarah and the struggle it can be each day to complete simple tasks. Thank you to Suzy Approved Book Tours for the invite and the author for the free novel.
May 26, 2023
Sarah, weighing 500 pounds, has lived a lonely life with her abusive brother. When she finally has had enough and takes action against him, she knows she must leave for good. With no family and no education - she turns to the carnival life.
Sarah, now Lola Rolls, the fat lady in the traveling carnival, hopes she can somehow hide in plain sight from her past.
I’m so surprised that this debut is not getting more buzz! It is written so well, and it has great characters. Not only Lola, who my heart went out to right from the start but also many of the other carnival workers that become Lola’s new found family.
I wasn’t sure I trusted some of them, but it helped Lola to grow strong and self-assured.
The story is also charged with tension as Lola is constantly distressed about being found out for her past crime. And when trouble comes to the carnival… you may find you’re holding your breath. I loved the carnival atmosphere, the 1970s nostalgia, and the small band of misfit friends.
Thank you @suzyapprovedbooktours and @barbboehmmiller for a tour spot and a gifted book.
June 9, 2023
When You See Her reminded me that you can find support in life from the most unexpected of places. Sarah discovers that for herself when she leaves her small-town life in search of safety from within a traveling circus. From the get go, she has various experiences that are pivotal to changing her from a naive, young girl, into a young adult who learns that despite how she might feel about herself, and how society might portray her, she is worthy of acceptance.
This is a gritty story. I don’t know the inner workings of a traveling circus, but I could imagine what is described here could very well be how things worked in the 70s. There was no apology required for that, either. What you see is what you get with Sarah, and the same could be said for the other characters, too. A good example would be the relationship between Sarah and Jim. In the beginning, Jim is Sarah’s distorted salvation, the first person to accept Sarah. Yet as time goes on, she begins to understand what that really means to her, and for him, too.
I couldn’t turn away from When You See Her. Much like the sideshow characters who often elicit a mixture of emotions, but you can’t stop watching the show, that’s how I felt while reading this book. I didn’t want it to end. It was a definite five-star experience!
This is a gritty story. I don’t know the inner workings of a traveling circus, but I could imagine what is described here could very well be how things worked in the 70s. There was no apology required for that, either. What you see is what you get with Sarah, and the same could be said for the other characters, too. A good example would be the relationship between Sarah and Jim. In the beginning, Jim is Sarah’s distorted salvation, the first person to accept Sarah. Yet as time goes on, she begins to understand what that really means to her, and for him, too.
I couldn’t turn away from When You See Her. Much like the sideshow characters who often elicit a mixture of emotions, but you can’t stop watching the show, that’s how I felt while reading this book. I didn’t want it to end. It was a definite five-star experience!
May 5, 2024
I can see the reasons why people have rated this highly, but this was really a different book from what I normally read, and I think that affected my enjoyment of it. I don’t read a lot of historical fiction, and maybe since I would have been only a couple years younger than Lola would have been in the 1970’s, I’m still getting used to historical fiction books being available for time periods that have happened in my own lifetime. I sort of found the story a little slow in parts, and I didn’t really like some of the characters very much. I couldn’t relate too much to any of them. Yes, I can relate to the not being seen or being overlooked or underestimated …but this was really that to an extreme, and a lot of the choices that Lola made in this book, I would not have made if I’d been in her shoes. I’m glad I read it, but I’m also glad I’m finished with it and can go on to something else.
January 1, 2025
Got half way thru and bailed.
So boring.
Thought it would be about a girl trying to become independent but I couldn’t figure out what it was about??
Casual underage sex/assault?
Self-loathing? Lack of confidence?
Sara/Lola had never left her house and claimed ti have trouble moving or walking but as soon as she joins the traveling carnival she is walking and getting around fine-drinking, having sex, throwing out snarky/sexual comments as part of her “act”.
Alm the while we ate to believe authorities are looking for her in connection to her brother’s death??
Her mom committed suicide and dad was her mom’s high school teacher…seems like Sarah would have a multitude of issues and realities to work thru but the book us just a slog of season/off-season/season if the carnival with no real growth any if the characters.
Moving on.
Read Water for Elephants if you are interested in a carnival story.
So boring.
Thought it would be about a girl trying to become independent but I couldn’t figure out what it was about??
Casual underage sex/assault?
Self-loathing? Lack of confidence?
Sara/Lola had never left her house and claimed ti have trouble moving or walking but as soon as she joins the traveling carnival she is walking and getting around fine-drinking, having sex, throwing out snarky/sexual comments as part of her “act”.
Alm the while we ate to believe authorities are looking for her in connection to her brother’s death??
Her mom committed suicide and dad was her mom’s high school teacher…seems like Sarah would have a multitude of issues and realities to work thru but the book us just a slog of season/off-season/season if the carnival with no real growth any if the characters.
Moving on.
Read Water for Elephants if you are interested in a carnival story.
January 29, 2023
"When You See Her" is a beautifully written and compelling story that I highly recommend! From the first few pages I was captivated by Sarah’s/Lola’s character and rooting for her to “get her act together,” literally and figuratively. The rich details in this book immersed me in the carnival life, which the author clearly researched well, and I was delighted by the nostalgic tidbits of 1970s culture and music sprinkled throughout. I enjoyed getting to know all the characters and appreciated how the author humanizes the sideshow performers. I found myself at times cringing and at times laughing out loud (and wishing for more from Reverend Kindheart!). Overall, the author led me to empathize with Lola and understand her journey. “When You See Her” would make an excellent book club selection. I can’t wait for the movie and am looking forward to reading more from this author.
February 2, 2023
I you are looking for that – I can’t put this down need to keep reading book, you need to order and read Barbara Boehm Miller’s novel When I See Her. The plot is incredibly and takes you on twists and turns all through the 1970’s and through the eyes of carnival life. This story is about being seen and the pursuit to be seen for yourself and in the eyes of others. At times I could relate to each character and Barbara has found a way to bring out your emotions for each one- I was brought in and could sense myself amongst the characters. I thought I knew them in the first few pages but learned more about them with each page turn and numerous surprises. Getting to know Lola Rolls and the fragility in all of us and what also binds us together was just the read I needed. It’s great to read for yourself- or to share with a friend and definitely my next book club read! Amy K Dacey
February 19, 2023
A powerful story about a young girl trying to fit in and find her place that weights 500 pounds. Set during the 1970's, Sara lives with her abusive brother after the death of her father. She is isolated, uneducated and wants to be invisible. When she comits an unspeakable act it sends her running away with the carnival circuit. Sara becomes Lola Rolls and performs. She meets new friends, discovers confidence and acceptance. I loved how she took control of her life. I was rooting for her the whole way. I loved the 1970's carnival setting and learning about the other characters who are often thought of as just freaks and outcasts. This was a powerful story and I couldn't put it down. An outstanding debut. I will definitely be looking for more coming from this author. I loved it.
Dawnny Ruby
Novels N Latte
Hudson Valley NY
Dawnny Ruby
Novels N Latte
Hudson Valley NY
April 17, 2023
This is a debut novel that in my opinion needs way more shout outs because this was a favorite read for me.
I loved this eclectic group of characters that include a group of carnies set in the late 1970s.
Lola is the “fat” woman weighing in at 500 pounds and has run away from home after making a life changing decision.
GiGi is a sword swallower who drinks too much and pines for a mother that abandoned her.
Jim has done hard time and keeps the carnival running since the owner, Hinkle, is too busy gambling away everyone’s pay.
This group becomes a family as they stick together in the on season and off season where they stay in Florida at a town that’s a haven for carnies.
This is a book in which characters and plot mix together to make a perfect connection.
This read has all the drama, mystery, and character development that a book with this creative setting deserves.
I loved this eclectic group of characters that include a group of carnies set in the late 1970s.
Lola is the “fat” woman weighing in at 500 pounds and has run away from home after making a life changing decision.
GiGi is a sword swallower who drinks too much and pines for a mother that abandoned her.
Jim has done hard time and keeps the carnival running since the owner, Hinkle, is too busy gambling away everyone’s pay.
This group becomes a family as they stick together in the on season and off season where they stay in Florida at a town that’s a haven for carnies.
This is a book in which characters and plot mix together to make a perfect connection.
This read has all the drama, mystery, and character development that a book with this creative setting deserves.
August 7, 2023
This was such a unique character and premise for a story that as soon as I heard about the book I preordered it. The title says a lot about Sarah's (Lola) world. She wants to be seen, to be loved, to be a part of the world. But at 500 lbs. she's lived a life of seclusion and exclusion... until a tragedy at home forces her to hide out by joining the circus.
There, as the "fat lady," she is seen. But is she? Do we ever really look at people who are unique or different? Sarah's made mistakes in life, but her heart is good, and her intentions are good. And the other characters are as unique and (mostly) loveable as Sarah, making their carnival group a family of sorts that is there for each other when the rest of the world is not.
I absolutely loved this story and the many ups and downs Sarah's life takes as she slowly perseveres to make herself seen and loved in her new world.
There, as the "fat lady," she is seen. But is she? Do we ever really look at people who are unique or different? Sarah's made mistakes in life, but her heart is good, and her intentions are good. And the other characters are as unique and (mostly) loveable as Sarah, making their carnival group a family of sorts that is there for each other when the rest of the world is not.
I absolutely loved this story and the many ups and downs Sarah's life takes as she slowly perseveres to make herself seen and loved in her new world.
August 4, 2024
#16: READ A BOOK BECAUSE OF IT'S COVER: I have to admit that I started this book and then put it aside while I read one other. BUT…am I ever glad I picked it back up again. This debut read explores a girl who wants to be seen for who she is—not what she looks like. Miller takes the reader on Sarah/Lola’s journey from abused sister to performer in a 1970s carnival. Filled with humanity and courage, When You See Her is the story of a girl who finds a place for herself in a world that often doesn’t look beneath the surface. Vivid and well-written! This is a story about several who perform in a carnival. This is a story that I do not recommend to everyone to read. And… It’s a story that if you decide to start it……you need to keep reading it right to the end. And I’m glad I did….. KU
August 31, 2024
This is the story of a girl weighing 500+ pounds that finds herself in a traveling circus. Not knowing how the world works and what to expect from people (let along an audience), her life evolves from isolation to companionship. From being unappreciated and mistreated at home, to surviving in talented and creative ways on the road. Building friendships and togetherness, to forming a family self-acceptance and even love.
A wonderful perspective of the oddities in life. How people perceive and treat those that are different from the norm. Raw emotions spill out on the page with characters that learn to “play up” their differences on stage in order to have work, earn a living and survive a life with few other options. Be prepared to experience difficult situations with well-developed characters you caring about. Highly recommended
A wonderful perspective of the oddities in life. How people perceive and treat those that are different from the norm. Raw emotions spill out on the page with characters that learn to “play up” their differences on stage in order to have work, earn a living and survive a life with few other options. Be prepared to experience difficult situations with well-developed characters you caring about. Highly recommended
September 2, 2024
What an incredible story!
I loved this book. Seventeen-year-old Sarah weighs 500 pounds, and her life is small and restricted. One night everything changes, and she ends up joining a carnival as a sideshow attraction.
Watching this lonely outcast make a whole new life for herself, with friendship, love, and a real family, was exciting, funny, and heartwarming. The carny world is described without fluff or filters. The characters are all real people. There is misfortune and sadness as well as adventure and joy. Lola, the former Sarah, lives a very genuine life.
The writing and editing were excellent, as well. I will eagerly watch for more by this author. If you like Maeve Binchy or Wally Lamb, do yourself a favor and give Barbara Boehm Miller a try. You won't regret it. Highly recommended, a definite 5 stars.
I loved this book. Seventeen-year-old Sarah weighs 500 pounds, and her life is small and restricted. One night everything changes, and she ends up joining a carnival as a sideshow attraction.
Watching this lonely outcast make a whole new life for herself, with friendship, love, and a real family, was exciting, funny, and heartwarming. The carny world is described without fluff or filters. The characters are all real people. There is misfortune and sadness as well as adventure and joy. Lola, the former Sarah, lives a very genuine life.
The writing and editing were excellent, as well. I will eagerly watch for more by this author. If you like Maeve Binchy or Wally Lamb, do yourself a favor and give Barbara Boehm Miller a try. You won't regret it. Highly recommended, a definite 5 stars.
June 16, 2026
This was a different read because of the setting, a carnival. And the protagonist, a 17-year-old who becomes the carnival's 500 lb. fat lady. There were lots of interesting characters, but other than the protagonist's, we don't learn any of the characters' histories. I came away thinking the message of the novel was that everyone, regardless of their physical idiosyncrasies, are just regular people like everyone else.
I was expecting lots of psychological introspection and revelation, but there was none of that. Which is the primary reason I rated this 4 instead of 5 stars. No introspection about weighing 500 lbs, or being ostracized and bullied because of it, or why the carnival people accepted her, or how hurtful it was when her brother was one of her abusers. And lots of other issues. I missed all that. This book was entertaining, but it could have been more.
I was expecting lots of psychological introspection and revelation, but there was none of that. Which is the primary reason I rated this 4 instead of 5 stars. No introspection about weighing 500 lbs, or being ostracized and bullied because of it, or why the carnival people accepted her, or how hurtful it was when her brother was one of her abusers. And lots of other issues. I missed all that. This book was entertaining, but it could have been more.
February 2, 2023
An extremely powerful story of a young girl finding herself in a world in which she literally and figuratively does not fit. After an accident, Lola finds herself on the run with a carnival. Here she finally makes friends, finds herself and avoids the fuzz. For the first time in over a decade, she lives! This supporting cast of characters is excellent. I felt like I was a part of the carnival and couldn’t wait to return to Gulfy for the winter. I wish there were a sequel. This is Boehm Miller's first novel, but she has complete control of her story and her style. I can’t wait for more to read from this author. Enjoy this book, share it with a friend, suggest it for your next book club!
May 27, 2023
This book was an interesting look into the life of a 500-pound teenager who, following a rough home life, runs away with a circus sideshow to escape a big secret. As events transpire, Sarah (who soon takes on the stage name Lola Rolls), goes from being a mousy doormat to a strong woman.
As I read this book, the cast of characters was absolutely memorable. The author wrote this story with such believability and tenderness, one couldn't help but like Sarah/Lola and all of her carnival friends. It was interesting to see the inside of this otherwise unknown world. Even more interesting to find out what it's like to call it home.
I would definitely recommend this to anyone who likes to glimpse another life, if only for a few hundred pages.
As I read this book, the cast of characters was absolutely memorable. The author wrote this story with such believability and tenderness, one couldn't help but like Sarah/Lola and all of her carnival friends. It was interesting to see the inside of this otherwise unknown world. Even more interesting to find out what it's like to call it home.
I would definitely recommend this to anyone who likes to glimpse another life, if only for a few hundred pages.
June 17, 2023
A captivating piece of historical fiction, this book tears up the eyes and melts the heart in ways that cannot be imagined! As we read through Sarah's struggles, our hearts go out to her, and we are genuinely happy for her when she finds solace in the midst of others that the society has mistreated. Sarah's transformation into Lola Rolls - despite the nasty set of circumstances that triggered it - brings her the happiness that she has long forgotten of. The book deals with body shaming, body inclusivity, trauma, coping, and survival, and blends complex human emotions with positivity and hope.
I had a fabulous time reading this book. My thanks to Miller, and the publishers Red Adept Publishing, for gifting me with a copy of this book.
I had a fabulous time reading this book. My thanks to Miller, and the publishers Red Adept Publishing, for gifting me with a copy of this book.
March 22, 2024
The characters in "When You See Her" are not just interesting, though some quite creepy, but extremely engaging. I was drawn in and felt invested in their lives. I was sad to finish because I did not want the story to end. Sarah is a morbidly obese young woman, not quite 18, when she unexpectedly flees home to join a traveling circus as part of their sideshow attractions. Due to the circumstances of her departure, she changes her name to Lola Rolls and does her best to, as she describes it, "hide in plain site". For anyone who has felt like they're invisible, or wished to be invisible but also to be accepted and loved, Sarah/Lola will leave you wanting to do just that, love her, and tell her that she matters, that there IS and will always be a place for her.
March 27, 2024
Good book
When I first started reading this book, I didn't really know where it would go. It had me hooked in the first chapter. Sarah, a 500lb plus girl of 17, has no life, no friends, no parents and just one mean condescending brother, Jared. Jared had been to the carnival and the 'carnies' were looking for a fat lady. Jared told them about his fat sister, Sarah. Sarah refused the 'carnies' offer. Then one night Sarah has had enough of Jared's mean, hateful torments. This is the beginning of Sarah's transformation into "Lola Rolls, the Fat Lady" in the carnival in the early 1970's. Sarah embarks on a life of traveling and meeting other "freaks" like herself and makes lifelong friends and even has the family she always dreamed of! I highly recommend this book!!
When I first started reading this book, I didn't really know where it would go. It had me hooked in the first chapter. Sarah, a 500lb plus girl of 17, has no life, no friends, no parents and just one mean condescending brother, Jared. Jared had been to the carnival and the 'carnies' were looking for a fat lady. Jared told them about his fat sister, Sarah. Sarah refused the 'carnies' offer. Then one night Sarah has had enough of Jared's mean, hateful torments. This is the beginning of Sarah's transformation into "Lola Rolls, the Fat Lady" in the carnival in the early 1970's. Sarah embarks on a life of traveling and meeting other "freaks" like herself and makes lifelong friends and even has the family she always dreamed of! I highly recommend this book!!
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