After The Freemasons denied me admittance due to my ongoing Catholicism, I found myself preparing an acceptance speech for The Society of Abstract References and Uncommon Puns.
Robed in the standard uniform, I then proceeded to commence with my pun-laden acceptance speech:
Mr. Cutlery, a forked radish of a fellow, was spooning his loved one several nights ago when he exclaimed "Spooning doesn't cut it." His loved one disapproved of his statement, jumping up, stating "Have a knife night," and leaving the premise.
"Boy, can she dish it out," our scorned fellow did bellow before attempting to ring her mobile. Unable to recall her cellular number, the recently scorned fellow had to internally admit that he fork-got (sic) her number.
Staring in the mirror, Mr. Cutlery convinced himself that losing his loved one was no big deal because ultimately she really didn’t "look very knife." Laughing aloud due to what he believed to be a very cutting edge remark, Mr. Cutlery found himself ultimately bowled over by his own witticism.
I was denied admittance to the club due to my speech containing no abstract references. And, on top of that, a senior board member stated that, regardless of any lack of abstraction, my speech simply wasn't "too sharp." Ouch.
Walking home alone later that evening I probably figured that it was "...one too many fork references that did me prong."