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What is a Family?
All the moving, changing shapes of a family are shown in Edith Schaeffer's imaginative reflections on infancy to grandmotherhood. She gives readers great ideas on how to support their family members and make moments memorable.
220 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1975
114 people are currently reading
1175 people want to read
About the author
Edith Schaeffer
37 books131 followersEDITH SCHAEFFER is the widow of Francis Schaeffer, and with him co-founder of L'Abri Fellowship. Her many books include A Celebration of Children and The Life of Prayer. She passed away in 2013.
Recognized internationally for his work in Christianity and culture, Francis A. Schaeffer authored more than twenty books, which have been translated into a score of languages and sold millions worldwide. He and his wife, Edith, founded L'Abri Fellowship international study and discipleship centers. Schaeffer passed away in 1984, but his influence and legacy continue worldwide.
children: Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
Recognized internationally for his work in Christianity and culture, Francis A. Schaeffer authored more than twenty books, which have been translated into a score of languages and sold millions worldwide. He and his wife, Edith, founded L'Abri Fellowship international study and discipleship centers. Schaeffer passed away in 1984, but his influence and legacy continue worldwide.
children: Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
December 28, 2013
In a society where many young women have never been taught how to make a home, this is a wonderful tool for getting started. It's pro-family and pro-motherhood, but will probably be offensive to those who have been raised to believe that self-sacrifice is a dirty word. A very enriching book.
October 26, 2019
Maravilhoso!! Me senti aos pés da Edith aprendendo sobre essa obra de arte viva que é a família!!
January 11, 2020
Um espetáculo. Criativo, belo, bem escrito, bem traduzido. Recomendadíssimo.
June 6, 2025
Take-Away Notes:
1. Our knowledge of God was supposed to be passed on from one generation to the next, starting with Adam and Eve, like a baton in a race. Think of all the knowledge and wisdom we’ve lost because someone else didn’t take the time to tell their children as they sat, walked, laid down and rose up. Or didn’t think it important enough to remember everything, or because someone else didn’t like the truth, and altered it, like Cain, who decided to deviate from the acceptable sacrifice. It’s so important to pass on (in every form: talking, living, discussing, showing, acting out, writing down) all that we know to actually be true. Chapter: A Perpetual Relay of Truth
2. You are making memories with your children whether you’re being intentional or not. Be purposeful. Don’t think of stopping for donuts as an expense of money or time, think of it as a memory you’re building for your children’s storehouse of memories. Good memories don’t all cost a fortune, just forethought. When the kids look back, will they see themselves as important or the career, the financial budget, your alone time etc. instead? Chapter: A Museum of Memories
3. A family should know when it needs alone time and when it needs to give. Are relationships strained, patience running low? Get alone time with the family (or that family member) to make good memories and smooth things over. Continually watch the cues of your relationship with God, with your spouse, with each of your kids, with your family as a whole to make the necessary time to get relationships close. And when they’re close, look for ways you can give and bless outside of your family. A family is a door with hinges and a lock, hinges for opening up and a lock to keep closed, and it takes discernment to know when to do which. Chapter: A Door that Has Hinges and a Lock
Content Considerations: nothing to note.
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1. Our knowledge of God was supposed to be passed on from one generation to the next, starting with Adam and Eve, like a baton in a race. Think of all the knowledge and wisdom we’ve lost because someone else didn’t take the time to tell their children as they sat, walked, laid down and rose up. Or didn’t think it important enough to remember everything, or because someone else didn’t like the truth, and altered it, like Cain, who decided to deviate from the acceptable sacrifice. It’s so important to pass on (in every form: talking, living, discussing, showing, acting out, writing down) all that we know to actually be true. Chapter: A Perpetual Relay of Truth
2. You are making memories with your children whether you’re being intentional or not. Be purposeful. Don’t think of stopping for donuts as an expense of money or time, think of it as a memory you’re building for your children’s storehouse of memories. Good memories don’t all cost a fortune, just forethought. When the kids look back, will they see themselves as important or the career, the financial budget, your alone time etc. instead? Chapter: A Museum of Memories
3. A family should know when it needs alone time and when it needs to give. Are relationships strained, patience running low? Get alone time with the family (or that family member) to make good memories and smooth things over. Continually watch the cues of your relationship with God, with your spouse, with each of your kids, with your family as a whole to make the necessary time to get relationships close. And when they’re close, look for ways you can give and bless outside of your family. A family is a door with hinges and a lock, hinges for opening up and a lock to keep closed, and it takes discernment to know when to do which. Chapter: A Door that Has Hinges and a Lock
Content Considerations: nothing to note.
**Like my reviews? Then you should follow me! Because I have hundreds more just like this one. With each review, I provide Content Considerations, mentioning any objectionable content I come across so that parents and/or conscientious readers (like me) can determine beforehand whether they want to read a book or not. Content surprises are super annoying, especially when you’re 100+ pages in, so here’s my attempt to help you avoid that!
If you’re considering a book or looking for a new title to read, check out my highly categorized shelves, read my reviews and Friend or Follow me to spiff up your feed with clean, wholesome, living books.
September 3, 2014
Not that I've read a lot of books about "family," but I'd have to rate Edith Schaeffer's What is a Family? as a really unique and valuable find. When I picture your typical book that sets out to both define and celebrate the idea of "family," I get the picture in my mind of a "too perfect" happy nuclear family -- Dad, Mom, 2 kids, and the family dog in their mini-van. A book with parenting tips and little ideas for rainy-day activities for your pre-schoolers, etc, etc.
I love how Schaeffer doesn't for once make these cliche assumptions as she seeks to embrace the concept of family. Nor does she make the sloppy gesture so commonly used as a crutch nowadays of trying to label any group of sexual partners and their dependents as a family. She writes a book that is far more rich and thoughtful. A book that had me (a woman with no children, at that) riveted and excited about the concept of family, as God has designed it.
The author has her own charming style of writing. Her book is full of sample scenes and dialogues that you might hear in the Schaeffer home. The author's purpose I think, is to engage the imagination and to invite you into her home, so to speak... something that she and her husband did countless times with singles, couples and families as they initiated and maintained the still-flourishing L'Abri center in Switzerland.
One thing that blew me away when I read this book was Schaeffer's emphasis on the multi-generational nature of family, and her stressing the fact that family is not just about the perfect, sunny times. A healthy, happy family can be one that comes together day after day supporting a chronically ill or disabled family member. Sickness, disability, and death are a very real part of any family and Shaeffer does not gloss over these points. In fact, she dwells on them gently, but extensively. There is an entire chapter that is largely devoted to ways to care for a family member who may be bed-ridden.
Honestly, reading What is a Family? was the first and only place I've ever had it explained how to lovingly give a bed-ridden person a sponge-bath in step-by-step detail. Wow. And yet, how truly fitting to the concept of living as a God-honoring family. Whether it be a 2-day stomach-flu, a 2-month maternity bedrest, or a 2 year battle with terminal illness, every family will deal with members who genuinely need to know love and care in time of pain. Really good stuff.
The one thing I had to get over was the slight embarrassment of reading this book in public. It's the kind of book that you blush a little to answer when someone tries to strike up book-related conversation. Intelligent co-worker: "So, what's that there you're reading?" Me: "Oh this? (gulp) It's called What is a Family?" Intelligent co-worker: (slightly underwhelmed) "Is that something you're trying to learn more about?" (As if I were reading a book called What is a Ball? or What is a Sofa?)
Anyway, really good read. And, word to the wise -- never be intimidated by the fact that a book was written in the 1970's. Believe it or not, some of the best books ever written were actually penned before the year 2000, despite what the New York Times Bestseller list would have you believe.
--Jen
I love how Schaeffer doesn't for once make these cliche assumptions as she seeks to embrace the concept of family. Nor does she make the sloppy gesture so commonly used as a crutch nowadays of trying to label any group of sexual partners and their dependents as a family. She writes a book that is far more rich and thoughtful. A book that had me (a woman with no children, at that) riveted and excited about the concept of family, as God has designed it.
The author has her own charming style of writing. Her book is full of sample scenes and dialogues that you might hear in the Schaeffer home. The author's purpose I think, is to engage the imagination and to invite you into her home, so to speak... something that she and her husband did countless times with singles, couples and families as they initiated and maintained the still-flourishing L'Abri center in Switzerland.
One thing that blew me away when I read this book was Schaeffer's emphasis on the multi-generational nature of family, and her stressing the fact that family is not just about the perfect, sunny times. A healthy, happy family can be one that comes together day after day supporting a chronically ill or disabled family member. Sickness, disability, and death are a very real part of any family and Shaeffer does not gloss over these points. In fact, she dwells on them gently, but extensively. There is an entire chapter that is largely devoted to ways to care for a family member who may be bed-ridden.
Honestly, reading What is a Family? was the first and only place I've ever had it explained how to lovingly give a bed-ridden person a sponge-bath in step-by-step detail. Wow. And yet, how truly fitting to the concept of living as a God-honoring family. Whether it be a 2-day stomach-flu, a 2-month maternity bedrest, or a 2 year battle with terminal illness, every family will deal with members who genuinely need to know love and care in time of pain. Really good stuff.
The one thing I had to get over was the slight embarrassment of reading this book in public. It's the kind of book that you blush a little to answer when someone tries to strike up book-related conversation. Intelligent co-worker: "So, what's that there you're reading?" Me: "Oh this? (gulp) It's called What is a Family?" Intelligent co-worker: (slightly underwhelmed) "Is that something you're trying to learn more about?" (As if I were reading a book called What is a Ball? or What is a Sofa?)
Anyway, really good read. And, word to the wise -- never be intimidated by the fact that a book was written in the 1970's. Believe it or not, some of the best books ever written were actually penned before the year 2000, despite what the New York Times Bestseller list would have you believe.
--Jen
December 17, 2018
Belíssimo livro. A escrita é tão terna que por muitas vezes tive a sensação de estar conversando com minha avó enquanto ela preparava alguma refeição especial para o neto faminto. A partir de relatos por vezes tão pessoais (a infância dos filhos, as brigas de Francis e Franky, a vida no L'Abri), Edith conseguiu estabelecer caminhos universais para se pensar a família de acordo com os propósitos de Deus. Repito: belíssimo!
Breve em português.
Breve em português.
February 6, 2024
the objects on the cover are not a family
November 12, 2019
Um livro que provoca saudades do que não vivemos. De uma maneira encantadora e prática, Edith nos ensina o que é ser família, ao mesmo tempo que nos traz à memória as bases bíblicas de tão importante móbile, oficina criativa, abrigo no temporal, museu de memória e defensora da verdade eterna.
March 22, 2020
This was a book club book. This is another book that falls into the category of, I’m glad I read it, but I probably wouldn’t reread it. On the plus side, there were a couple of chapters where I wanted to to stand up and cheer,”Yes!” (The 2nd and last chapters concerning balance). But most of the others didn’t resonate with me as much and I didn’t connect with her metaphors most of the time.
September 1, 2022
Loved how this book focuses on the importance of a career in homemaking. Edith gives a beautiful example of what a family should/could be. It was written in the 70s and the writing style was hard to get into, but once I got used to it this book was full of wisdom which I reflected on throughout the day
June 18, 2019
Among the best and most comprehensive Christian books painting a beautiful portrait of Christian family life.
August 23, 2024
Have been re-reading those books which most influenced our home to see how they land now as a grandmother. I’d give it ten stars if I could - still a classic - and I wish every couple would read and discuss it together. It is both worldview-shaping AND inspirational - a rare combination, especially today.
October 30, 2009
I loved this book! Mrs. Schaeffer’s writing style is vivid and poignant. I was immediately drawn into the very scenes she described, watching their family dynamics unfold before me. She captures the essence of family life and the purpose of family in a way I’ve never contemplated before. Each chapter is full of the beautiful possibilities that exist in a family environment, without neglecting the realities of the effects of our sinful natures and the sinful influences of the world around us. The book is full of both inspiration and practical ideas that are relevant for any family.
February 9, 2016
As expected, Edith Schaeffer offers wise counsel for parents raising the next generation. Using Scripture, personal stories, and illustrations (I loved the metaphor of the home being a museum of memories and we are the curators-beautiful), Schaeffer points to the importance of biblical homemaking in shaping the lives of our children. The book was written in 1975, so it is a little dated. Still, the principles are timeless, and if we needed to hear them then, how much more do we need to hear them today?
September 29, 2016
This book is such a thoughtful admonition to be mindful of the "little" things. As a stay at home mother, it's a refreshing reminder of all of the reasons that staying at home is a GOOD choice--even when difficult--in a time when the mothering community has reached record breaking levels of divisive opinions and judgment.
January 30, 2018
This book lived on my nightstand for way too long as I would only ever pick it up to wind down when I was way too tired to read so I never really made any progress. I finally intentionally picked up the book again because I needed to give it back to my friend and I am so thankful that I did because this book has become one of my most treasured recent reads. At first, her writing sort of bothered me because she initially compared a family to a changing mobile and I just could not connect with her example in addition to her real life illustrations that are sometimes hard to follow, but I quickly warmed up to her examples and illustrations and began feeling like I was truly having a conversation with an older Christian woman. She writes just as I imagine she would speak to me. I came to truly love her examples and personal illustrations from her own life. They inspired me without feeling like I had to replicate them. I feel so many female Christian authors today who write books to women concerning all things being a wife and mother stand on the heels of Edith Schaeffer. I am pretty well read on the subject matter, but two areas Edith speaks to that I have not heard addressed before are the family's role in times of illness, disability, and suffering in addition to a family as an economic unit. I also particularly loved one of the final chapters she entitles "A Door That Has Hinges and a Lock" where she describes the balance families need in offering hospitality while also carving out the proper amount of time for one's personal relationship with God, intimacy with one's husband, and "family time"which is often difficult to perceive. I would have loved to meet her in person before her passing, but if you read this book, you feel like you are speaking with her directly over a beautiful cup of tea and tray of food that she would have lovingly put together so one can't ask for much more than that.
April 1, 2020
I started this book whilst participating in a Christian book club with friends. While it wasn't my first pick, I was willing to give it a try. There were some gems in this book that I wholeheartedly agreed with and some analogies that could've been worded differently. The book was worth reading, but not necessarily one I would recommend. *3 1/2 stars*
December 28, 2025
It took me a long time to read this book; despite the engaging and easy to read content. It is just so full of fantastic, logical, and practical advice for families. I wanted to read it over a long period to really digest and take on the various topics Edith discussed.
I only read it on kindle, but now I want to go out and buy it to refer back to again and again.
I only read it on kindle, but now I want to go out and buy it to refer back to again and again.
January 1, 2021
Um livro essencial para quem quer pensar e criar laços com o convívio familiar! Certamente aplicarei com minha futura esposa e família!
December 22, 2024
Loved this and hope to read again down the road.
December 25, 2019
Mas que livro deleitoso! Delícia de ler. Inspirador.
July 4, 2007
Schaeffer seeks to define the family in terms of a balanced environment, birthplace of creativity, formation center for relationships, a shelter, a relay of truth, economic unit, educational control, and museum of memories. She uses heartwarming examples from her own family and once again is quite transparent in her personal struggles in various areas over the years. I resonated with so much of what she said in this book...she is an incredibly wise woman.
Read
October 25, 2008This explains all that a family means and is in very practical terms. I recommend it to anyone getting married or starting a Christian family. A must read!
February 9, 2010
Great book for wives who do not have a lot of older ladies of wisdom to glean from.
July 31, 2012
This helped me understand what a family can be
November 13, 2018
The family as a perpetual relay of truth, a museum of memories, a shelter in the time of storm... just a few of the sweet, inspiring chapters in this book.
January 21, 2025
What Is a Family? by Edith Schaeffer is a must-read for anyone seeking inspiration about the enduring significance of marriage and family life. Schaeffer beautifully portrays how the foundation of a thriving family lies in the humility of a couple, the selfless service of both parents, and the patience and dedication required in raising and educating children.
She describes the family as a "museum of memories," a place where experiences and milestones are preserved. It is an "ecological balance," fostering harmony and growth, a "shelter in the time of storm," providing comfort and safety during life's challenges. Schaeffer also emphasizes the family as a "formation for human relationships," where love, respect, and understanding are nurtured; an "economic unit," where resources and responsibilities are shared; and a "perpetual relay of truth," passing values and wisdom from one generation to the next.
Through her thoughtful and poetic descriptions, Schaeffer reminds readers that the family is a profound and dynamic institution—a blend of purpose, care, and balance that shapes individuals and communities alike.
She describes the family as a "museum of memories," a place where experiences and milestones are preserved. It is an "ecological balance," fostering harmony and growth, a "shelter in the time of storm," providing comfort and safety during life's challenges. Schaeffer also emphasizes the family as a "formation for human relationships," where love, respect, and understanding are nurtured; an "economic unit," where resources and responsibilities are shared; and a "perpetual relay of truth," passing values and wisdom from one generation to the next.
Through her thoughtful and poetic descriptions, Schaeffer reminds readers that the family is a profound and dynamic institution—a blend of purpose, care, and balance that shapes individuals and communities alike.
March 12, 2022
It has been over 20 years since I read this book as a young mother, and I still notice traces of its influence. Edith Schaeffer helps the reader to see the beauty and importance of the many duties of motherhood. Her chapter, "A Shelter for the Sick," has come to mind nearly every time I have had sick children to care for, giving me purpose even when plans have been altered or sleep deprived. The chapter, "A Museum of Memories," is another that continues to shape my thoughts. I need not feel guilty for investing time in writing out memories for my children or creating yearly photobooks. Now that I am in my 50's I realize even more the value of these things.
Not only is the content excellent, but Edith Schaeffer is also a wonderful writer. Her books inspire me to be creative and not to neglect beauty in life.
Not only is the content excellent, but Edith Schaeffer is also a wonderful writer. Her books inspire me to be creative and not to neglect beauty in life.
September 29, 2024
“Giving a piece of time is much more of a gift in a human relationship within a family than giving a sum of money.”
Having loved L’Abri, I was confident I would love this book too - and I did! Edith Schaeffer won’t be for everyone and the book is dated. However, there are timeless truths and wisdoms contained in this book which explores many different metaphors of family life. My favourite was the family being “a perpetual relay of truth”, although I took something from all the chapters. I did find it more balanced than I expected in terms of male/female roles and home/education which was good. This is definitely a book I will want to return to over the years.
Having loved L’Abri, I was confident I would love this book too - and I did! Edith Schaeffer won’t be for everyone and the book is dated. However, there are timeless truths and wisdoms contained in this book which explores many different metaphors of family life. My favourite was the family being “a perpetual relay of truth”, although I took something from all the chapters. I did find it more balanced than I expected in terms of male/female roles and home/education which was good. This is definitely a book I will want to return to over the years.
October 9, 2024
She uses a lot of story to enhance her point and she starts with a long section of that, so take the time to bear with her first several pages (probably the longest story stretch) and then it all fits into place and she adds much commentary mixed with more brief anecdotes throughout. She gives a realistic view of what families look like (not neglecting to address that we’ll fail on a lot of fronts often), but that there’s redemption and every day is a new day. She’s also very inspiring as to how to take the time as a mother to embrace the role of prioritizing the time needed to truly develop a home and family.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews