How to Help a Grieving Friend: A Candid Guide for Those Who Care

by Stephanie Grace Whitson

This quick read will help you know how to act and what to say around a grieving friend. Learn to speak healing words instead of tired clichés, comfort and empathize with others, and break down barriers.

Genres: Nonfiction

102 pages, Hardcover

First published February 17, 2005

About the author

A native of southern Illinois, Stephanie Grace Whitson has lived in Nebraska since 1975. She began what she calls "playing with imaginary friends" (writing fiction) when, as a result of teaching her four homeschooled children Nebraska history, she was personally encouraged and challenged by the lives of pioneer women in the West. Since her first book, Walks the Fire, was published in 1995, Stephanie's fiction titles have appeared on the ECPA bestseller list numerous times and been finalists for the Christy Award, the Inspirational Reader's Choice Award, and ForeWord Magazine's Book of the Year. Her first nonfiction work, How to Help a Grieving Friend, was released in 2005. In addition to serving in her local church and keeping up with two married children, two college students, and a high school senior, Stephanie enjoys motorcycle trips with her family and church friends. Her passionate interests in pioneer women's history, antique quilts, and French, Italian, and Hawaiian language and culture provide endless story-telling possibilities.

Reviews

[Kalli Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty much common sense but it’s nice to have the reassurance because I hate the awkwardness of not being able to do or say anything to fix my friend’s broken heart. Helped put me in an empathetic mindset with the stories and then the tips were practical and straightforward. Bringing all the disposable goods and quick grab food while not offering euphemisms or books on grief. Check.

[Debbie Anstine · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick yet profound guide of recommendations both to do / not to do during a friend’s season of grief. Well done.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

superb

Everything I needed to know,
And yet it hurts me more for my friends that are going through just that!
Thank you I love your books
Linda

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

I checked out this short book from the library because the title was exactly a question I have had weighing on my mind. I have never dealt with grief closely, thus I was curious about ways I could be a better friend to those grieving.

Honestly, although the book is beautiful and well-written, it doesn't live up to the title. A lot of the advice is contradictory, and while I realize this is because the nature of grieving is very complicated, it didn't really help those actively trying to help. Most of the errors seem very obvious mistakes to me, although I am positive people make these errors all the time. I did like being reassured that having nothing to say is just fine, however, as well as the perpetual reminder that your own feelings, even the desire to feel you're "helping," come second.

Ultimately, I felt this book was more of an "Amen" text for those who have gone through grief than those in it. Most of the book is taken up with describing "how it feels" for the reader, which is fine, but again, I was not searching for a book describing the process of grieving. C.S. Lewis's A Grief Observed and Sheldon Vanauken's A Severe Mercy certainly fit the bill moreso for those purposes, anyway. I would have liked a book that was more directly addressing things to do to help.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book written in a journal style. We had a friend tragically killed in an avalanche, leaving a young widow and daughter. I have read several books on helping people through grief and being a friend to them. This book by Stephanie on her journey after losing her husband was by far the most helpful. Stephanie doesn't just lay out advice, naming the dos and don'ts. She takes the reader into her grief and loss. I feel it help me be more sensitive too my friend's loss and journey without her husband.

2021 Again, I found Stephanie Whitson's sharing of her journey through loss and grief so helpful in supporting people in my life.

[Kathleen Sprout · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are you in ministry? You need to read this. Do you have any friends? You need to read this. Everyone is going to attend a funeral, or come in contact with someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. Not everyone knows what to say during these times. Some well-meaning folks say the wrong thing. This book is written from the perspective of a woman who has lost her beloved husband of many years. Her insight and from-the-heart suggestions will help you through the process of providing comfort to othes. Everyone needs this book on their shelf.

[Rosalie Spiteri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the ultimate guide for the 'clueless' well-wishers who genuinely want to help, but do not know how.

The author of this book describes her own grieving experiences; the death of her best friend, the death of her husbands and parents...all at very close proximity of each other. She then provides useful tips of how well-wishers can help.

This is a short book...very concise and to the point which will take you no longer than an hour to read.

[Fran · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful book written in journal style about the author's journey through the loss of her Mother, Father and her best friend, followed a few years later by the loss of her husband. She takes the reader into her grief and loss and helps them see the dos and don'ts of being a true friend throughout the healing process.

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I decided to read this book to learn how to better journey with friends in times of loss and found ,yield being ministered to as well. The author invites you into their journey which I found more helpful than the list of dos and donts other books had offered. I highly recommend this book.

[Whitney T · Rating 3 out of 5]

not as great as I was hoping for. lots of short phrases and anecdotes, but not many great action points.