Life After Birth: What Even Your Friends Won't Tell You About Motherhood

by Kate Figes, Jean Zimmerman

The turmoil of new motherhood is still a taboo subject. After her first baby, author Kate Figes was unprepared for the physical, sensory, emotional, and psychological upheaval that followed it. She imagined she would carry on working, thinking, feeling, and socializing as usual and felt inadequate as a mother and as a woman when she didn't. Life After Birth is the first thoroughly honest book to examine the transition into motherhood. Using interviews, medical and anthropological research, and her own experience, Figes tackles problems facing new moms such as: Experiencing anger and hostility toward the child after expecting to feel unconditional love; how the attitudes of friends, both childless and with children, change toward the new mother; Feeling bone-tired and unsexual even after the infant sleeps through the night. Life After Birth illuminates these realities so that new mothers will feel reassured, less alone, and ready to enjoy motherhood.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Feminism, Sociology

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 19, 2002

Reviews

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a great book! I think some people may find it depressing or dark (because it departs from our widespread cultural values/fantasies/ideals of the archetypal mother & infant spending their days together in blissful harmony) but I thought it presented a very realistic and honest discussion about the challenges (and joys- she gets to those near the end) of parenthood. I am impressed that she so accurately describes many aspects of this experience and explains why it is so exhausting, what happens to our relationships with other people, and what it means for us as individuals. There were so many passages I wanted to jot down because they so perfectly captured parenting's essence and resonated with me. I'd recommend this for new parents, parents-to-be, and anyone else interested in the topic.

[Blueberry · Rating 3 out of 5]

At the beginning of the book, there's so much about the history of motherhood & especially post-partum-ness that I gobbled up greedily and quickly! Then, when I was too exhausted 3 nights in a row to finish the chapter called "Exhaustion", something also happened to my ability to finish the last third of the book. I got pretty tired of the writing style. However, I would reccommend this for all new parents (new moms especially) and all of those who know new moms. This book actually made me think about how I hadn't been taking care of myself--so obsessed with baby Finn--and that I needed to take iron supplements and continue to focus on recovering from birth. Birth takes a long time to recover from and it's okay. Yeah!

[Vicky Ashwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

By far the best book I have read so far for first time mum's. Thoroughly researched each chapter looks at a different issue faced by first time Mum's. The structure is basically the same for each chapter: the issues generally faced, the various ways this can make you feel, the history and reasons behind this, what you can do to help yourself and finally encouragement that you will come through the other side and if you find this aspect tough it really will get better.

Very informative and positive without sugar coating the issues, I would highly recommend reading this book.

[Frangipani · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book as part of my preparation for becoming a parent for the second time. I wanted as much information as possible. Although this book alternately enraged me and reassured me I would still recommend it. Everyone's experience is different, and the author pays only lipservice to this concept IMHO.

[Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book contains tons of factual information, about the history of motherhood up to our modern day vision of what motherhood should be. I enjoyed all the information like others have said it is a bit on the dark side and meant to reassure you that if you aren't enjoying every moment of this experience you are not the first to encounter health, emotional and other difficulties.

[Cheryl Griffith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always thought Motherhood would come naturally for me. When I had a hard time with my new role, I was surprised. This book touched on every aspect I was having a hard time with, it helped me work through it, and see motherhood in a new light. For anyone with post-traumatic stress or postpartum depression, this is the book I'd recommend.

[Zoe · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is quite British, no-nonsense, and funny. It's a very realistic, unromantic view of what it's like to be a mother. I especially love Chapter Nine: "Friends And The Outside World." I wish I had read it as a young woman who totally romanticized motherhood.

[Michele · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book can be summarised in one key line which unfortunately doesn't come until page 143: "Perhaps I am my own worst enemy." Provoked a few thoughts, almost all of them about how my life is very different from the model that the author is working from.

[Elyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is really accurate and it continues to frustrate me that the challenging realities of becoming a parent are not discussed more openly.

[Manuel Valencia · Rating 5 out of 5]

GREEAAT

[Alaxeria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though nothing can prepare you for life after birth.. it makes you feel better prepared at the least. mentally.

[Soumiya Hussain · Rating 3 out of 5]

The harsh truth about life after delivering a child

[Ms.soule · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had read this before having my first child!

[Barbc]

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