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Lasting Love: How to Avoid Marital Failure
God created marriages to last. Will yours? While no-rules-just-freedom approaches to marriage may seem good and fun, the state of marital disarray in society proves otherwise. We need an approach that leads to true freedom. Lasting How to Avoid Marital Failure is biblically-grounded, time-tested advice for how to have a marriage that flourishes. Closing the gap between principles and practice, Alistair Begg begins with theological foundations and then builds levels of practical application, showing how God's guidelines are for our good. In this comprehensive yet concise book on marriage, you will Heed the advice of this happily married pastor who has seen more than his fair share of marriages come and go. Let your marriage be one that lasts. Includes a study guide for spouse and group discussion to help you practically apply the book's principles to your marriage.
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
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401 people want to read
About the author
Alistair Begg
164 books343 followersAlistair Begg has been in pastoral ministry since 1975. Following graduation from The London School of Theology, he served eight years in Scotland at both Charlotte Chapel in Edinburgh and Hamilton Baptist Church.
In 1983, he became the senior pastor at Parkside Church near Cleveland, Ohio. He has written several books and is heard daily and weekly on the radio program, Truth For Life. The teaching on Truth For Life stems from the week by week Bible teaching at Parkside Church.
In 1983, he became the senior pastor at Parkside Church near Cleveland, Ohio. He has written several books and is heard daily and weekly on the radio program, Truth For Life. The teaching on Truth For Life stems from the week by week Bible teaching at Parkside Church.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
May 12, 2017
I seem to read a lot of books on marriage lately (well, three so far this year). Alistair Begg’s book is worth picking up. As he notes in the beginning, he’s writing primarily to pre-married or early married folks, and they’re the first people I’d recommend this book to. But I expect anyone who comes with a willingness to evaluate honestly will find food for thought.
Begg did a great job of, as he said, “beginning with theological foundations and then building levels of practical application on the strength of the underlying material.” Once establishing the groundwork for the covenantal aspect of marriage, he didn’t spend much time dwelling on the mystery of it (Eph 5:23), but the reader could consult Piper’s This Momentary Marriage for a thorough visitation of that text.
He addresses a variety of topics ranging from singleness to infidelity to parenthood to practical tips to “hedge” your marriage against the weeds that seek to choke out the life. Certainly some of Begg’s views will not be agreed upon by all readers. I am not as convinced as Begg that women (barring certain extenuating circumstances) are required to remain in the home when they become mothers, but I am willing to hear out his point of view. That particular item isn’t addressed at length in the book, but other readers may find different items to disagree with.
I only noted a few places where the book seemed to show it’s age (original printing in 1997), but overall the topics remained relevant and the advice applicable to a 2015 audience.
I received a review copy from NetGalley
Begg did a great job of, as he said, “beginning with theological foundations and then building levels of practical application on the strength of the underlying material.” Once establishing the groundwork for the covenantal aspect of marriage, he didn’t spend much time dwelling on the mystery of it (Eph 5:23), but the reader could consult Piper’s This Momentary Marriage for a thorough visitation of that text.
He addresses a variety of topics ranging from singleness to infidelity to parenthood to practical tips to “hedge” your marriage against the weeds that seek to choke out the life. Certainly some of Begg’s views will not be agreed upon by all readers. I am not as convinced as Begg that women (barring certain extenuating circumstances) are required to remain in the home when they become mothers, but I am willing to hear out his point of view. That particular item isn’t addressed at length in the book, but other readers may find different items to disagree with.
I only noted a few places where the book seemed to show it’s age (original printing in 1997), but overall the topics remained relevant and the advice applicable to a 2015 audience.
I received a review copy from NetGalley
June 2, 2023
This short little book should be required reading for all couples - from those planning their wedding to those who have been married for years. It’s so easy to fall into a rut where familiarity and predictability can lead to taking one another for granted and all the threats to a healthy marriage that opens up. If you think it can’t happen to you then beware! This gem of a book is full of sound principles and practical ideas, all underpinned by biblical truth from the One who designed marriage.
A quick read - but one with lasting benefits.
A quick read - but one with lasting benefits.
July 25, 2025
Excellent 👌🏽
April 17, 2019
Disclaimer:
I'm not married, therefore all my thoughts on this book are extremely subjective.
Three Pros and Three Pros
Pros:
*Mr. Beggs uses the Bible to back up his information - which really, is there any other way to do it? He's also a pastor who's been married for a long time and counseled a lot of people with marriage issues, so he seems very qualified to write this book
*Other than the beginning, I found this book to be very easy to read, grasp, and be drawn into. The information is imparted in a kind and caring way - you can tell Mr. Begg really cares about people - and yet he also stands firmly on God's Word
*The book has good balance - showing a fairly in-depth look at both the husband and wife's role in marriage
Cons:
*The inside of the book - as in the literal, physical inside of the book - wasn't the easiest for me to read. I'm not sure if it was because of the size of the font or what, but it took a bit for me to get past that and into the content of the book
*Apparently this book was first published in 1997, but I didn't know that while reading. I know that's a little thing, but I think it would have helped the book make slightly more sense to me if I would have known that from the get-go. The con was not being aware of that - not the fact on its own
*The beginning of this book wasn't my style, but as I continued reading I found a trove of great information
CONCLUSION & Rating
This is a marriage book and I don't really recommend those because who am I to recommend a marriage book? But I most certainly don't unrecommend it. ;) I’m giving Lasting Love four out of five stars – Thank you to Moody Press for sending me a copy to review. Y'all are great.
I'm not married, therefore all my thoughts on this book are extremely subjective.
Three Pros and Three Pros
Pros:
*Mr. Beggs uses the Bible to back up his information - which really, is there any other way to do it? He's also a pastor who's been married for a long time and counseled a lot of people with marriage issues, so he seems very qualified to write this book
*Other than the beginning, I found this book to be very easy to read, grasp, and be drawn into. The information is imparted in a kind and caring way - you can tell Mr. Begg really cares about people - and yet he also stands firmly on God's Word
*The book has good balance - showing a fairly in-depth look at both the husband and wife's role in marriage
Cons:
*The inside of the book - as in the literal, physical inside of the book - wasn't the easiest for me to read. I'm not sure if it was because of the size of the font or what, but it took a bit for me to get past that and into the content of the book
*Apparently this book was first published in 1997, but I didn't know that while reading. I know that's a little thing, but I think it would have helped the book make slightly more sense to me if I would have known that from the get-go. The con was not being aware of that - not the fact on its own
*The beginning of this book wasn't my style, but as I continued reading I found a trove of great information
CONCLUSION & Rating
This is a marriage book and I don't really recommend those because who am I to recommend a marriage book? But I most certainly don't unrecommend it. ;) I’m giving Lasting Love four out of five stars – Thank you to Moody Press for sending me a copy to review. Y'all are great.
February 3, 2023
A very quick read, this book should be a requirement for all in pre-marital counseling. Any Christian can glean such wonderful and practical advice on marriage. This is a book that was written for men and women, parents and childless. Truly a gem of Godly advice from a man who has been a pastor, husband, and father for many years, Lasting Love needs to be at the top of all Christian’s books on marriage. Topics of affairs, divorce, parenting, marriage counseling, lasting relationships, and keeping Christ and the vow in front of the Lord at the forefront of marriage, we’re discussed. An absolutely precious book that will be a re-read yearly.
January 30, 2024
The beginning of the book is a review for most married couples but great for newlyweds or married individuals seeking to live out their vow in the covenantal confession before God and man. The middle helps each man and woman understand the God-giving role and responsibility of that relationship of marriage. The end sums it all up and has questions to refresh and reuse for later help.
July 13, 2015
Marriage was created for the lifelong help and comfort which husband and wife ought to give to each other. It exists for the well-being of family life so that children, who are gifts from God, might be brought up in the instruction of the Lord. Marriage strengthens human society, which remains healthy only when the marriage bond is held in honor.
The above statement may be hard to grasp in this day and age but it is a picture of redemption, the gospel and the design of God, the creator for His creation. Ironies among ironies, today I am celebrating along with my husband 30 years of marriage. We have had our share of heartaches and troubles, however, when one has not been committed, the other has. I do believe God’s design for marriage as stated in the bible and the clarification in this study of Lasting Marriage is one that is not made in selfishness but out of sacrifice. Not being a doormat but living together in support of each other. Living in our gender roles to protect, cherish and encourage and partner. However, we are human and our selfishness comes through but only when we empty ourselves and live for Christ can we truly in light of God’s design for marriage.
A high view of marriage is the attitude that helps us see our roles of husband and wife more clearly and appreciation of those roles. The benefits of these roles give family stability and strength and less of chaos that can come from a misunderstanding of these roles. I was encouraged not because I am doing them per se but that there is a better way in trusting God that I can miss.
Communication and togetherness makes a marriage rich and satisfying. Many times there is loneliness in marriage because communication is nonexistent. We must guard our marriages in all areas and never be the one to say “not my marriage”. Begg makes great strides in this study on how and how we do not guard our marriage. This is very insightful and applicable. Sometimes marriage can be one sided and a book like this can discouraging, however, remaining faithful in your walk and making precautions of any abuse is a must. If you find yourself in that, it is suggested and encouraged to get help. We are never encouraged to walk alone and especially when we need the encouragement of Godly people in our lives.
Some of my favorite quotes are:
Greatest opportunities to show the differences Jesus makes in our hearts and in our homes: not in producing perfect children; not in being perfect wives, or perfect mothers, or perfect husbands. Instead, being honest enough to admit our defeats, acknowledge our struggles, and affirm our dependence upon the Lord Jesus.
As a husband and father, I am forced to recognize that “If Christianity doesn’t work at home, then it doesn’t work!
The enjoyment we derive from something is directly related to the time and trouble we take to nurture and care for it.
In the meantime, these healthy marriage ingredients of carefulness, endeavor, communication, sacrifice and imagination must remain priorities whether or not we sense immediate rewards for them. Plant them around your marriage as you would hedge around your property. Paying attention to these principles will ensure that with God’s help you will erect a barrier that will stand the test of time.
Marriage is a gift from God. It is part of the creation that God set forth. It is not a competition but where a man and woman compliment each other where God reveals our strengths and weakness to bring Glory to him and the Gospel.
A Special Thank you to Moody Publishers and Netgalley for ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
The above statement may be hard to grasp in this day and age but it is a picture of redemption, the gospel and the design of God, the creator for His creation. Ironies among ironies, today I am celebrating along with my husband 30 years of marriage. We have had our share of heartaches and troubles, however, when one has not been committed, the other has. I do believe God’s design for marriage as stated in the bible and the clarification in this study of Lasting Marriage is one that is not made in selfishness but out of sacrifice. Not being a doormat but living together in support of each other. Living in our gender roles to protect, cherish and encourage and partner. However, we are human and our selfishness comes through but only when we empty ourselves and live for Christ can we truly in light of God’s design for marriage.
A high view of marriage is the attitude that helps us see our roles of husband and wife more clearly and appreciation of those roles. The benefits of these roles give family stability and strength and less of chaos that can come from a misunderstanding of these roles. I was encouraged not because I am doing them per se but that there is a better way in trusting God that I can miss.
Communication and togetherness makes a marriage rich and satisfying. Many times there is loneliness in marriage because communication is nonexistent. We must guard our marriages in all areas and never be the one to say “not my marriage”. Begg makes great strides in this study on how and how we do not guard our marriage. This is very insightful and applicable. Sometimes marriage can be one sided and a book like this can discouraging, however, remaining faithful in your walk and making precautions of any abuse is a must. If you find yourself in that, it is suggested and encouraged to get help. We are never encouraged to walk alone and especially when we need the encouragement of Godly people in our lives.
Some of my favorite quotes are:
Greatest opportunities to show the differences Jesus makes in our hearts and in our homes: not in producing perfect children; not in being perfect wives, or perfect mothers, or perfect husbands. Instead, being honest enough to admit our defeats, acknowledge our struggles, and affirm our dependence upon the Lord Jesus.
As a husband and father, I am forced to recognize that “If Christianity doesn’t work at home, then it doesn’t work!
The enjoyment we derive from something is directly related to the time and trouble we take to nurture and care for it.
In the meantime, these healthy marriage ingredients of carefulness, endeavor, communication, sacrifice and imagination must remain priorities whether or not we sense immediate rewards for them. Plant them around your marriage as you would hedge around your property. Paying attention to these principles will ensure that with God’s help you will erect a barrier that will stand the test of time.
Marriage is a gift from God. It is part of the creation that God set forth. It is not a competition but where a man and woman compliment each other where God reveals our strengths and weakness to bring Glory to him and the Gospel.
A Special Thank you to Moody Publishers and Netgalley for ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
September 15, 2023
Subtitled, How to Avoid Marital Failure, this is a solid Biblical treatment of the challenge of marriage, from courtship through old age. Replete with Scripture and examples, Begg does an excellent job of laying out the pitfalls and blessings of the marriage union. Chapters include:
When marriage doesn’t go according to plan - when life hits
Before we say “I do” - preparing for the event as designed by God
Sealed with a vow - understand the power of a vow before God
The role of a wife
The role of a husband
Pulling weeds - clearing out what does not need to be there
Planting hedges - protecting the sanctity of your marriage
In his intro, the author writes: “In the chapters that follow, I hope you will discover ‘a relatively small number of true fundamental movements’ that will make your marriage more consistent.”
An excellent resource for couples contemplating marriage as well as those in the throes of the adventure we know as marriage. It also includes a study guide for spouse and group discussion.
When marriage doesn’t go according to plan - when life hits
Before we say “I do” - preparing for the event as designed by God
Sealed with a vow - understand the power of a vow before God
The role of a wife
The role of a husband
Pulling weeds - clearing out what does not need to be there
Planting hedges - protecting the sanctity of your marriage
In his intro, the author writes: “In the chapters that follow, I hope you will discover ‘a relatively small number of true fundamental movements’ that will make your marriage more consistent.”
An excellent resource for couples contemplating marriage as well as those in the throes of the adventure we know as marriage. It also includes a study guide for spouse and group discussion.
September 24, 2018
I love Alistair Begg. He knows how to gently but firmly hit the nail on the head. This book delivers what a biblical marriage is suppose to look like, what we need to do to put God back in our marriage, and how we can avoid marriage pit falls.
I knew that this would be a good read and I went into it expecting to love it, and I did. I know that I can use this on all walks of life: In the struggles of marriage as well as the good times. Enjoyed and will read again.
I knew that this would be a good read and I went into it expecting to love it, and I did. I know that I can use this on all walks of life: In the struggles of marriage as well as the good times. Enjoyed and will read again.
September 3, 2015
Excellent book! Will be one of my go to books for marriage counseling and recommends on the topic.
December 2, 2025
I was disappointed in this book. The conclusion kind of explains the reason for the tone of the book, but it’s quite pessimistic and as the subtitle describes, the book takes a dismal perspective of how to avoid marital failure (emphasizing avoiding affairs, basically). There are some positive recommendations throughout, but that wasn’t the overall thrust of the book. He writes a few times how and why he wrote the book, but much of it seems disjointed. Also, I found a lot of the quotes unnecessary and they dated the book.
Makes me hesitant to read more of Allistair Begg. Should I rate his writing according to this book? I’ve only read his modernization of Charles Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening, which was excellently done.
Makes me hesitant to read more of Allistair Begg. Should I rate his writing according to this book? I’ve only read his modernization of Charles Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening, which was excellently done.
September 23, 2023
Alistair presents a brilliant piece of book about marriage. He briefly covered all the important verses in the bible and correlated to common problems faced in marriage. Marriage joins two stranger into one unit that should last for a lifetime. He provides good examples for the common marital issues faced nowadays. I would appreciate if he can provide some practical marital counseling/ advices for the married couple. I really like his examples at the end of his book. However, if he can go in details for the marital advices given, and the practical steps to save the almost-ruined marriage, this book will be a fantastic book.
January 8, 2020
Nothing earth-shattering about this book, but just good, basic, Biblical and practical reminders about how to continue to love and care and be selfless in one's marriage, from year one to year 50+. This isn't a book one would find helpful if he/she is already on the brink of divorce, but probably better for someone like me who is looking to brush up on good marriage habits, and keep the good times rolling. Good advice to singles as well, and some sound parenting tips.
"Love is not to be a victim of our emotions, but is to be a servant of our wills."
"Love is not to be a victim of our emotions, but is to be a servant of our wills."
March 6, 2022
A very practical book about marriage. I loved the author's method of mostly using real life stories, drawing lessons from them.
I din't agree with the lists shared in the section 'what to look for in a man/woman'. These things don't mostly start from lists, mostly.
Doctrinally I agree with the writer's thoughts especially on the subject divorce. Last story shared was amazing and one everyone should get to hear.
I din't agree with the lists shared in the section 'what to look for in a man/woman'. These things don't mostly start from lists, mostly.
Doctrinally I agree with the writer's thoughts especially on the subject divorce. Last story shared was amazing and one everyone should get to hear.
August 12, 2025
Lots of wisdom and encouragement, also a couple times when I think he conflated historic cultural norms with biblical principles. A few weird moments (ie, at one point he lists 6 important qualities to look for in a husband and wife respectively, and 3 overlap, but really all 9 qualities could have overlapped, and it just felt oddly arbitrary).
June 29, 2022
I’m only giving it three stars because there were parts that really made sense and in those moments, he did a tremendous job. But there are some parts that I can’t get behind. Maybe the fact it was written 25 years ago? But I will use the parts that resonated with me.
June 12, 2019
Good book, very basic. Probably better suited for a younger couple, new in marriage. But still very good and worth the read.
March 19, 2020
Great book
January 18, 2021
Some of this was super good. However, I greatly disliked what he said about woman needing to stay in the home.
July 5, 2021
3.5 stars. A gift from my brother. Biblical based, Christian, lots to think about.
July 31, 2021
A wonderfully written book. Alistair Begg is an amazing preacher and his book doesn't disappoint. I highly recommend this book and Alistair Begg.
September 19, 2021
Excellent book for a quick check up on your marriage. By the grace of God and an extra dose of forgiving a marriage can last!
July 1, 2022
This is a concise, helpful, and enjoyable book to read before marriage. Some remarks about culture he makes are a bit outdated, but they do not deter the reader from the larger points he makes.
December 18, 2022
Read this book. If you’re married, read it. If you’re thinking of getting married, same.,
January 16, 2023
Excellent book to recenter the relationship between husband and wife.
February 8, 2024
Basic supplement to your Bible reading. Would only recommend to single Christians as an introduction to this subject.
November 20, 2024
Not just for people whose marriages are failing! Helpful biblical reminders for everyone.
July 23, 2025
Good!
Useful advice, questions, and reminders.
Useful advice, questions, and reminders.
July 25, 2025
“Love is not to be a victim of our emotions but a servant of our wills”
August 30, 2025
Great insight in preparation for Christian marriage
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews