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Autobiography Of Countess Tolstoy, Sophie Andreevna Tolstoy
This autobiography of Count Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy's wife contains much material with regard to Tolstoy which has not previously been available for English readers. The question of Tolstoy's "going away" and of his relations with his wife, Countess Sophie Tolstoy, and other members of his family, has roused the most passionate interest and controversy in Russia. This is partly due, no doubt, to the dramatic and psychological interest of the whole story, but is also due very largely to the fact that Tolstoy's actions were bound up with his teachings, and his numerous disciples and opponents were watching the struggle of the preacher to put his principles in practice in his own life. The importance of this book lies in the fact that in it for the first time Countess Sophie Andreevna Tolstoy herself states her own case in full.
Published by Virginia & Leonard Woolf at the Hogarth Press.
Published by Virginia & Leonard Woolf at the Hogarth Press.
- GenresNonfiction
160 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1922
About the author
Sofia Tolstaya
21 books45 followersSophia Andreyevna Tolstaya (née Behrs) (Russian: Со́фья Андре́евна Толста́я, sometimes Anglicised as Sophia Tolstoy), was the wife of Russian novelist and thinker Leo Tolstoy. Sophia was one of 3 daughters of physician Andrey Behrs, and Liubov Alexandrovna Behrs.
Sophia was first introduced to Leo Tolstoy in 1862, when she was 18 years old. At 34, Tolstoy was 16 years her senior. On 17 September, 1862 the couple became formally engaged, marrying a week later in Moscow. At the time of their marriage, Leo Tolstoy was already well-known as a novelist after the publication of The Cossacks.
On the eve of their marriage, Tolstoy gave Sophia his diaries detailing his sexual relations with female serfs. In Anna Karenina, 34 year old Constantine Levin, a semi-autobiographical character behaves similarly, asking his 19 year old fiancée Kitty to read his diaries and learn of his past transgressions.
The Tolstoys had 13 children, only 8 of which survived childhood. Tolstaya tried to convince her husband to use birth control but he refused. Fortunately, the family was prosperous, owing to Tolstoy's efficient management of his estates and to the sales of his works, making it possible to provide adequately for the increasing family.
Tolstoya was a devoted help to her husband in his literary work. She acted as copyist of War and Peace, copying the manuscript seven times from beginning to end.
In 1887, Tolstoya took up the relatively new art of photography. She took over a thousand photographs that documented her life, including with Tolstoy, and the decline of pre-Soviet Tsarist Russia.
She was also a diarist and documented her life with Leo Tolstoy in a series of diaries which have been published in English translation.
After many years of an increasingly troubled marriage - the couple argued over Tolstoy's desire to give away all his private property - Leo left Sophia abruptly in 1910, aged 81, with his doctor, Duchan Makovicki, and daughter Alexandra Tolstaya. Tolstoy died 10 days later in a railway station, whilst Sophia was kept away from him.
Following the death of her husband, Sophia continued to live in Yasnaya Polyana and survived the Russian Revolution in relative peace. She died in 1919.
Sophia was first introduced to Leo Tolstoy in 1862, when she was 18 years old. At 34, Tolstoy was 16 years her senior. On 17 September, 1862 the couple became formally engaged, marrying a week later in Moscow. At the time of their marriage, Leo Tolstoy was already well-known as a novelist after the publication of The Cossacks.
On the eve of their marriage, Tolstoy gave Sophia his diaries detailing his sexual relations with female serfs. In Anna Karenina, 34 year old Constantine Levin, a semi-autobiographical character behaves similarly, asking his 19 year old fiancée Kitty to read his diaries and learn of his past transgressions.
The Tolstoys had 13 children, only 8 of which survived childhood. Tolstaya tried to convince her husband to use birth control but he refused. Fortunately, the family was prosperous, owing to Tolstoy's efficient management of his estates and to the sales of his works, making it possible to provide adequately for the increasing family.
Tolstoya was a devoted help to her husband in his literary work. She acted as copyist of War and Peace, copying the manuscript seven times from beginning to end.
In 1887, Tolstoya took up the relatively new art of photography. She took over a thousand photographs that documented her life, including with Tolstoy, and the decline of pre-Soviet Tsarist Russia.
She was also a diarist and documented her life with Leo Tolstoy in a series of diaries which have been published in English translation.
After many years of an increasingly troubled marriage - the couple argued over Tolstoy's desire to give away all his private property - Leo left Sophia abruptly in 1910, aged 81, with his doctor, Duchan Makovicki, and daughter Alexandra Tolstaya. Tolstoy died 10 days later in a railway station, whilst Sophia was kept away from him.
Following the death of her husband, Sophia continued to live in Yasnaya Polyana and survived the Russian Revolution in relative peace. She died in 1919.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
April 23, 2021
Although it takes only an hour to read, it is questionable whether this short document is worth the trouble except for someone doing advanced studies in Tolstoy. One sees little of Sophie's real literary talent and none of her stormy personality. It is a restrained effort on her part to tell her side of the story of her marriage to Tolstoy and to identify the significant turning points. She chooses to present Tolstoy as a man who drifted away from her as he become increasingly obsessed with his own esoteric doctrines. In reality, the real Tolstoy was a domestic monster and Sophie was pulling her punches.
If this document is dull to read, it is because Sophie was playing an inherently difficult game. She was trying to justify herself without revealing any of her husband's tremendous faults. She wanted him to be remembered for his better days and best works.
To compensate for the tedious nature of Sophie's text, the editor chose to add letters from various other members of the Tolstoy entourage which revealed the hysterical and bitter nature of the relations between the spouses in the decade before Leon's death. For an additional bonus, copies of Tolstoy's notorious final two wills are included.
If this document is dull to read, it is because Sophie was playing an inherently difficult game. She was trying to justify herself without revealing any of her husband's tremendous faults. She wanted him to be remembered for his better days and best works.
To compensate for the tedious nature of Sophie's text, the editor chose to add letters from various other members of the Tolstoy entourage which revealed the hysterical and bitter nature of the relations between the spouses in the decade before Leon's death. For an additional bonus, copies of Tolstoy's notorious final two wills are included.
October 24, 2017
I found it very interesting to read Countess Sophie Tolstoy's take of her life, even though, brainwashed as she is by her upbringing in a patriarchal society (19th Century, too) and huge emotional dependence/longing for affection issues :(, she focuses mainly on her husband and his work and, even though readers can easily see Tolstoy described as clearly problematic, entitled, self-centred and sexist, she still justifies many of his doings and is always ready to edit his writing, focus on his work and take care of him when he's ill.
Sophie's writings, however, still succeed in critisizing her pitiable and unequal position full of gender roles, and the tale is full of blatant double standards: While Sophie spends ample time editing her husband's work after the children and servants had gone to bed, and bears and rears multiple children, and takes care of the household, and worries about her husband's career, work, health and state of mind, meanwhile Tolstoy neglects his wife and children time and time again, cares 0% and actually mocks and puts obstacles to the talent and interests of Sophie, and never seems to help Sophie when she's ill or needs support (and with 13 pregnancies and the burden of husband, childrearing and household all on herself, she was, understandably, frequently ill).
This is another example of an invisibilized woman who, thanks to her patriarchal upbringing, thought her husband's life and career were far more important than she or her interests were. And she had many interests - writing, photography, music, art, etc -, interests that she could hardly develop or find time for because 1) She was so busy with her husband's actual interests and career, plus all the children and household time-consuming work and 2) She underestimated her talent and thought her interests 'silly' and 'a joke' because she was taught that as a woman she could never aspire to be much or do much.
Meanwhile, male authors such as Tolstoy are everywhere known, allowed to spend their whole lives writing if they wish (often with women to correct their work and inspire and encourage them), and so glorified hardly anyone stops to critisize their very problematic behaviour in their actual lives (and yes, I know one should also separate the author from the work, and that's why I also say I think Tolstoy does write very well - but why is this kind of problematic behaviour and double standards outright ignored or excused so often? I've actually seen Tolstoy painted as a victim, with Sophie demonized).
Tolstoy might have written interesting social critic and even some content that could be called 'feminist' in the sense that he seems to sympathise with the situation of some characters such as Anna Karenina, or Dolly (ah the irony). But he sure as heck didn't sympathise with the real women in his life, and I find that problematic and worthy of some discussion. Let's not outright glorify a male author just because he's a man and writes well. This helps both erase a large number of the women with stifled potential who were behind these men, and also promote the fact that as long as a man writes well or does good art, his problematic traits are wholly justifiable - and worse, this thinking normalizes them.
There are many women like Sophie Tolstoy. Many invisibilized women who had to priorize their husbands' dreams, careers, jobs and desires above their own, women who lost their lives' potential thanks to gender roles and societal norms, who never had a chance to develop their talents, who actually thought their interests and wishes were worth less and 'silly trifles' with no importance because they were women. Women who spent their intelligence and talent working on their hubands or other men's work, their contributions and hard work erased from the final product. Women whose contributions and talents (to me often way more meritory because of their many obstacles) are invisible or little known because they're not men.
Sophie's writings, however, still succeed in critisizing her pitiable and unequal position full of gender roles, and the tale is full of blatant double standards: While Sophie spends ample time editing her husband's work after the children and servants had gone to bed, and bears and rears multiple children, and takes care of the household, and worries about her husband's career, work, health and state of mind, meanwhile Tolstoy neglects his wife and children time and time again, cares 0% and actually mocks and puts obstacles to the talent and interests of Sophie, and never seems to help Sophie when she's ill or needs support (and with 13 pregnancies and the burden of husband, childrearing and household all on herself, she was, understandably, frequently ill).
This is another example of an invisibilized woman who, thanks to her patriarchal upbringing, thought her husband's life and career were far more important than she or her interests were. And she had many interests - writing, photography, music, art, etc -, interests that she could hardly develop or find time for because 1) She was so busy with her husband's actual interests and career, plus all the children and household time-consuming work and 2) She underestimated her talent and thought her interests 'silly' and 'a joke' because she was taught that as a woman she could never aspire to be much or do much.
Meanwhile, male authors such as Tolstoy are everywhere known, allowed to spend their whole lives writing if they wish (often with women to correct their work and inspire and encourage them), and so glorified hardly anyone stops to critisize their very problematic behaviour in their actual lives (and yes, I know one should also separate the author from the work, and that's why I also say I think Tolstoy does write very well - but why is this kind of problematic behaviour and double standards outright ignored or excused so often? I've actually seen Tolstoy painted as a victim, with Sophie demonized).
Tolstoy might have written interesting social critic and even some content that could be called 'feminist' in the sense that he seems to sympathise with the situation of some characters such as Anna Karenina, or Dolly (ah the irony). But he sure as heck didn't sympathise with the real women in his life, and I find that problematic and worthy of some discussion. Let's not outright glorify a male author just because he's a man and writes well. This helps both erase a large number of the women with stifled potential who were behind these men, and also promote the fact that as long as a man writes well or does good art, his problematic traits are wholly justifiable - and worse, this thinking normalizes them.
There are many women like Sophie Tolstoy. Many invisibilized women who had to priorize their husbands' dreams, careers, jobs and desires above their own, women who lost their lives' potential thanks to gender roles and societal norms, who never had a chance to develop their talents, who actually thought their interests and wishes were worth less and 'silly trifles' with no importance because they were women. Women who spent their intelligence and talent working on their hubands or other men's work, their contributions and hard work erased from the final product. Women whose contributions and talents (to me often way more meritory because of their many obstacles) are invisible or little known because they're not men.
February 8, 2017
It's well-known in literary circles that at the end of his life Tolstoy had a nasty estrangement from his wife after decades of a seemingly happy marriage. Several plays and movies have been made on this theme.
Written a few years after his death with the question of Tolstoy's estate and papers still unsettled, this is his widow's short attempt to tell her side of the story and rehabilitate her reputation in the face of some harsh criticism.
That last point is essential because overall this autobiography is pretty short on substance or detail and unusually packed with quotes about how marvelous the Countess was, which are attributed to various visitors to the Tolstoy residence over the years.
Her childhood was a happy and privileged one. It's interesting how she notes that in 'my youth Tolstoy's Childhood and Dickens's David Copperfield made the greatest impression on me.' Tolstoy met her, fell madly in love, and they were married when she was just eighteen, he thirty-four.
They had many children, some of whom died young. She would write his works into shape for publication, a task she loved. On War and Peace she says:
'This work, which Leo Nikolaevich did not like to be called a novel, he wrote with pleasure, assiduously, and it filled our life with a living interest.'
She says their love for each other never suffered, even as Leo grew separate from her and the children due to his rejection of everything, which she calls 'my husband's spiritual going away'.
The testimony of others tends to disagree with this assertion. As Tolstoy made a concerted attempt to break from the Orthodox Church and actually live like Christ it became harder for him to sympathise with religious conservatives such as his wife. In truth she does acknowledge this at one point:
'He was often angry with me. We were what stood in the way of his carrying out his dream of a free, new life, of an act of renunciation.'
For me the highlight of this autobiography was the following quote for the insight it gave into the contradictory nature of Tolstoy's rejection of property, how the political generosity of his philosophy could have a less than generous interpretation closer to home:
'Once Leo Nikolaevich called me into his study and asked me to take over in full ownership all his property, including his copyrights. I asked him what need there was for that, since we were so intimate and had children in common. He replied that he considered property an evil and that he did not wish to own it. "So you wish to hand over that evil to me, the creature nearest to you," I said, in tears; "I do not want it and I shall take nothing."
The story of their last year's together at Yasnaya Polyana are very sad; of the further deaths of some of their children, their own illnesses, the cloak-and-dagger conflict over his papers and various wills, and his eventual desertion of her, literally sneaking off in the night.
An appendix includes insight into Tolstoy's own opinion of his wife's behaviour in their last year's together, taken from a letter to one of his daughters in 1910 he speaks of his desire for 'freedom from her, from that falsehood, pretence, and spite with which her whole being is permeated.'
Who knows the truth of it.
Written a few years after his death with the question of Tolstoy's estate and papers still unsettled, this is his widow's short attempt to tell her side of the story and rehabilitate her reputation in the face of some harsh criticism.
That last point is essential because overall this autobiography is pretty short on substance or detail and unusually packed with quotes about how marvelous the Countess was, which are attributed to various visitors to the Tolstoy residence over the years.
Her childhood was a happy and privileged one. It's interesting how she notes that in 'my youth Tolstoy's Childhood and Dickens's David Copperfield made the greatest impression on me.' Tolstoy met her, fell madly in love, and they were married when she was just eighteen, he thirty-four.
They had many children, some of whom died young. She would write his works into shape for publication, a task she loved. On War and Peace she says:
'This work, which Leo Nikolaevich did not like to be called a novel, he wrote with pleasure, assiduously, and it filled our life with a living interest.'
She says their love for each other never suffered, even as Leo grew separate from her and the children due to his rejection of everything, which she calls 'my husband's spiritual going away'.
The testimony of others tends to disagree with this assertion. As Tolstoy made a concerted attempt to break from the Orthodox Church and actually live like Christ it became harder for him to sympathise with religious conservatives such as his wife. In truth she does acknowledge this at one point:
'He was often angry with me. We were what stood in the way of his carrying out his dream of a free, new life, of an act of renunciation.'
For me the highlight of this autobiography was the following quote for the insight it gave into the contradictory nature of Tolstoy's rejection of property, how the political generosity of his philosophy could have a less than generous interpretation closer to home:
'Once Leo Nikolaevich called me into his study and asked me to take over in full ownership all his property, including his copyrights. I asked him what need there was for that, since we were so intimate and had children in common. He replied that he considered property an evil and that he did not wish to own it. "So you wish to hand over that evil to me, the creature nearest to you," I said, in tears; "I do not want it and I shall take nothing."
The story of their last year's together at Yasnaya Polyana are very sad; of the further deaths of some of their children, their own illnesses, the cloak-and-dagger conflict over his papers and various wills, and his eventual desertion of her, literally sneaking off in the night.
An appendix includes insight into Tolstoy's own opinion of his wife's behaviour in their last year's together, taken from a letter to one of his daughters in 1910 he speaks of his desire for 'freedom from her, from that falsehood, pretence, and spite with which her whole being is permeated.'
Who knows the truth of it.
March 10, 2023
I don't know if hyperlinking is safe or ok on goodreads, but I read a publicly available copy on archive.org. This autobiography was written towards the end of Sophie Tolstoy's life after her famous husband's death. At this point, a succession crisis has broken out: Tolstoy wishes to give away all of his possessions (books, land, etcetera) whilst Sophie wishes to retain them. Sophie explains her position in a concise retelling of her life. She lists her unpaid work as Tolstoy's secretary and copyist. She recalls the raising of her children and how it affected her marriage, health, and mental wellbeing. What's fascinating, in the way finding a 20 karat diamond wrapped in shit would be, is the misogynistic condescension by Vasili Spiridonov. He accuses Sophie of being "unhinged" and suffering from "hysteria." Rereading that passage to get the correct wording has me shaking with rage. Judging from Sophie's own words, she would prefer if readers referred to her book, My Life, for a more thorough and less political rendition of her life. In this book, she is on a political defensive.
**Rough Draft
**Rough Draft
August 15, 2025
5 star book, but what a 3 stars life this Countess lived.
October 6, 2020
It was very interesting to read Sonya’s side of this story! When reading this, know that she is of course a bit biased against how her family treated her at the end of Tolstoy’s life, so you definitely won’t be getting an objective story. It is clear that she was a bit bitter while writing her autobiography, especially in its ending. I highly recommend reading this if you’re looking to understand Sonya’s voice and side of Tolstoy’s story.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews