The Man of the House

by Stephen McCauley

Stephen McCauley's much-loved novels The Object of My Affection and The Easy Way Out prompted The New York Times Book Review to dub him "the secret love child of Edith Wharton and Woody Allen." Now McCauley stakes further claim to that title -- and more -- with a rich and deftly funny novel that charts the unpredictable terrain of family, friends, and fathers.

Thirty-five-year-old Clyde Carmichael spends too much time at things that make him miserable: teaching at a posh but flaky adult learning center; devouring forgettable celebrity biographies; and obsessing about his ex-lover, Gordon. Clyde's other chief pursuit is dodging his family -- his maddeningly insecure sister and his irascible father, who may or may not be at death's door. Clyde's in danger of becoming as aimless as Marcus, his handsome (and unswervingly straight) roommate, who's spent ten years on one dissertation and far too many fizzled relationships.

Enter Louise Morris. Clyde's old friend and Marcus's onetime lover is a restless writer and single mother, who shows up with Ben, her son and a neurotic dog in tow. The looming question of Ben's paternity nudges Clyde back into the orbit of his own father -- and propels our endearing hero into the kind of bittersweet emotional terrain that McCauley captures so well.

Genres: Fiction, LGBT, Gay, Contemporary, Queer, Gay Fiction, Novels

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

Reviews

[Ian "Marvin" Graye · Rating 5 out of 5]

How We Became Acquainted

Since reading this book, I have bought everything that Stephen McCauley has written. I love the insight he has into people generally and the people in this book. You get to know the full dimension of his characters. Nobody is fundamentally good or bad, everybody is human and interesting. You get the impression that you are living in a real world and that these people are (your) real friends or acquaintances.

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a comic masterpiece. It's the funniest, sad novel I've ever read.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a title that caught my eye while walking through the library stacks, so I literally had no idea what to expect. First the positive: I love McCauley's writing style. I felt like I was reading Literature with a capital 'L'. The narrator's descriptions and wry observations were humorous and evocative. The recipe thread running through the novel was hilarious. Now the negatives (note the plural): Every character in the book was dysfunctional, several of them extremely so. When you add in the enormous weight of the under-achievement, personality problems, and daddy issues the whole books sinks below the bar for comedy and ends up a lot closer to quiet tragedy. Not that I have a problem with that, but I would've liked an ending with more positive change than simple recognition. The characters, even the narrator, were difficult to care about because their lives were just so pointless (and pathetic). The lack of maturity in every single character (except the kids, ironically), including the narrator, was really irritating to try to identify with. I'm conflicted in my feelings about this book, but I'm glad I picked it up. The writing was terrific, but the characters and lack of a plot definitely held it back. ;)

[Gochrisgo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Stephen McCauley has a great gift for witty observation. His books are always well written without becoming over-stuffed.

I've read nearly all of his novels. Unfortunately I have to say this is the least successful of his books. It is packed with characters, but none of them feel vivid. I am most interested in the boy, but he drifts around the book without definition.

McCauley is so good with pop culture references. It is interesting to read one of his older books and see what parts stay relevant and what references fade.

[Joyceling]

What a waste of a good writer. All the non-functioning characters become incredibly boring - not outweighed by clever phrases and amusing bits.

[Michele Dancer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clyde Carmichael is a 35-year-old gay adult education teacher living with a straight roommate in a small apartment in Cambridge, MA. His lover broke up with him a year ago and getting over it has been difficult, not helped by Clyde's general dissatisfaction with his life. He also has a decidedly unpleasant father, a slightly bonkers sister, and a sullen teenage niece. Enter into this mix the sudden return of an old friend and her teenage son, the paternity of whom is an issue which complicates Clyde's already off-kilter life.
This book is well-written enough for me to try another by the author, though it tends to get a bit repetitive in the last quarter. The characters were interesting, and the story alternated between amusing and sad which, to be fair, is life, but the ending is just too sad, even for life.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

How can a comic novel be such a bummer? The narrator’s voice is wry-droll-sarcastic-ironic, so I guess that’s the comedy. The dog is endearing. The human characters are not people I would want to spend time with. The plot set-up goes nowhere. The settings are vividly described but most of them are so ugly and smelly and humid/dank that I felt kind of claustrophobic.

I guess it’s a really bleak comedy of Acceptance rather than Resolution. None of the main characters end up what they thought they wanted. Are they better off at the end? Were their wishes and motives only delusions? Were their attachments only anchoring them to unhappiness? Seems that way.

I am outraged that this lesson about the futility of attachment had to be taught through the dog, the only really pleasing character in the book.

[K · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a really weak book. I'm astonished that it has positive reviews. It has a few funny or snarky moments, but mostly they feel very strained. And the interior monologue of the main character is about as deep as a blog post.

I guess this fits into some genre of gay literature, and maybe this ranks pretty well in that genre. It is ironic (to me) that there are at least a half-dozen books with the same name that are romance novels, either straight or gay.

But this book is so bland and rambling that i finished it only because it was short, and I have a bit of a "completist" streak. As a reference point, I'd call it a tepid version of an Anne Tyler novel. There are people rooted in place (Cambridge, Mass. and nearby), and stumbling in a slightly humorous way through life. As the plot develops, a few of them make good changes in their lives, and a few of them make minor changes that suggest a slightly brighter horizon.

So here goes a short summary. Like too many novels, it is set in a college town (Harvard) with grad students struggling to embark on their lives. In this case, gay Clyde and straight Marcus share an apartment. Clyde is teaching evening classes in literature at a non-credit "Learning Annex" program, where the real draw for students is possible dates. Marcus is a possibly genius student who hasn't written a word of his psych Ph.D. thesis in a decade but is amazingly good at finding beautiful Harvard and Radcliffe girls to date for a year or two. They're both going nowhere.

In pops Louise, a novelist with critical acclaim (wishful thinking on the part of this book's author?) and a 12-year-old son, Ben. It turns out that when Louise dated Marcus when she was an undergrad, she got pregnant, but never told anyone he was the dad. Now she tells him and wants to see if he'll step up in some way. He doesn't.

Meanwhile, seeing Louise also forces Clyde to confront his gnawing suspicion that he's wasted nearly 20 years since he graduated college by just hanging around, dropping out of graduate programs, and having some good and some not-so-good romances. The fact that these romances came during the height of the AIDS epidemic adds some poignancy to his dilemma.

So we follow Clyde's musings about Marcus, who Clyde and all his friends find very attractive. We learn about Clyde's obsession with his former boyfriend Gordon, who -- and I guess this is meant to be funny -- Clyde just wants to once say "I want you back" so that Clyde can say no and get on with his life. We get lengthy descriptions of Louise being paper thin and pale, but strangely magnetic in her smoker-hoarse voice way. And we have the attempted comic relief of Clyde's sister, Agnes, who turns every statement into a paranoid rant, and who takes care of their angry father, bitchy teenage goth daughter, and has several pathetic personal service businesses on the side. She winds up dating a goofy guy who Clyde knows and who sells hair replacement treatments --- this relationship is the biggest Anne Tyler ripoff in the book.

And towards the end of the book, Clyde gets very attached to Ben's dog, which he is keeping because the apartment that Louise rented doesn't allow dogs. This dog-attachment signals Clyde's deep need to be attached to something that loves him -- and just in case we don't get this subtle point, it's basically stated in that way three or four times.

In the end, after the dog is lost, Clyde moves out of his apartment, which suggests some type of growth, I guess. Louise leaves town with her son, not having received any type of affirmation of anything from Marcus. Marcus loses another stunningly gorgeous girlfriend because he can't commit to anything. And Clyde's jerk of a dad finds a new love and moves to a pleasant retirement community, where he tries to help that woman's ne'er-do-well son in ways that Clyde would have appreciated over the years.

[Neet · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Stephen McCauley and his sad sack characters that find humor in their situations. Our MC this time is Clyde. Clyde lives in an old broken down apartment with his straight and handsome roommate Marcus. Marcus is 39 years old and has been working on his dissertation for over ten years and has a steady stream of young college student that he can never have a lasting relationship with. Clyde has broken up with a lawyer named Gordon who has turned buff from exercise and eating healthy, and in a relationship with someone else. Clyde greatest wish is that Gordon beg for him to come back so he can say "no" and break his heart. Clyde is a teacher at a learning annex, a job he seems embarrassed by. He is also addicted to reading biographies of politicians, artists, musicians, or actors. Clyde has a cruel and homophobic, widowed father who pretends he's ill and destitute and lives with Clyde's older sister and her rebellious daughter. Agnes, (the sister) seems to have had all the self confidence beaten out of her, and is determined to write a cookbook of her late mother's strange recipes. Clyde has received a letter from a college friend who with her 12 year old son is coming to Boston. Louise is a writer who received a grant and comes to town with big news. This book had me laughing and wishing that Clyde and Agnes would tell off their cruel father and stop moping. Highly recommended.

[Thom Mckiernan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book definitely has very funny observations about paternity but the lead character, Clyde is a loser living with another loser and is friends with a bunch of other losers. If it wasn't for the humour I think it would have been a very depressing and pointless tale.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Found this in the library after reading another book by the same author. Couldn't really get into it. Ended up skipping to the end after the dog went missing. Not sure I missed too much in the middle.

[Tiago Amaral · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the best comparison i can find for this book is one of those quirky millenial comedies with a protagonist moving through life in this kind of "adult but with soooo much to discover" stage (think please like me, insecure, or even girls). The big city this one takes place in is Boston; our narrator-protagonist is Clyde, a mid-thirties gay literature professor at one of those cheap-ish schools for adults; and instead of the mid-2010s, we're in the late 90s/early 2000s.

the biggest thing that drew me to the novel was the very sharp wit that Clyde has. Every description, sequence and scene is peppered with funny observations and reflections on the culture filtered through the narrator's voice. He's supposed to be this kind of frustrated gay intellectual and you can definately tell that by the way he speaks and moves about.

In fact, most If not all the cast feels very well thought out, defined and fleshed out in their flaws, hypocrisies and moments of kindness. It's ultimately a story about people moving on, growing up, leaving the state of suspension that sometimes follows greif, a breakup or even a child; and i think it accomplishes that beautifully, especially with Clyde and his sister Agnès.

Due to its slice-of-life, very "chill" nature, It did kinda feel like Reading through fluff in the First half, and It only really had a grip on me towards the end. I'm happy to say that the last few chapters were a real "cant put the book down" moment.

I'm glad i read this. Seasons pass, years go by, and things change. It's always nice to be reminded that change can be good.

[Tom · Rating 3 out of 5]

The cover blurbs hail the book as extraordinarily funny but I found it to be on the melancholy side -- a tale of unfulfilled academic life in Cambridge, Mass. True, the book is fully of witty observations by Clyde, the gay narrator, about the other sad-sack characters in the story but gradually the reader realizes Clyde is resorting to putdowns of others to avoid confronting his own deficiencies in any serious way. Two problematic father-son relationships provide the backbone of the novel. One is Clyde's own inability to secure even occasional expressions of affection from his own elderly father, who has become a domineering crank. The other is a teenager, Ben, who has never met his biological father but latches onto Clyde as a part-time father substitute. It was a letdown to happen to finish this book on Father's Day without either relationship showing promise of improvement. The text is heavy on dialogue, often caustic and reading more like a play than a novel. McCauley deftly aims a satirical spear to mock the minor characters of the novel, especially the superficial adults enrolled in the literature course that Clyde teaches, and narcissistic Gordon, Clyde's ex-lover. In contrast, he is more forgiving of the two lead female characters -- his sister Agnes and his longtime bohemian friend, Louise. Unable to obtain the male bonding he craves, he settles for a BFF role with the women, but by the conclusion, even those less satisfying sources of support have faded away.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this novel by Stephen McCauley. Its compelling reading as these quirky but endearing characters struggle to connect and make their lives work. McCauley's descriptions are as always razor sharp and witty.

"The mothers were either morbidly obese or amphetamine-thin. The former made rare public appearances, and the latter tended to spend eight or nine hours a day washing clothes at the laundromat on the corner, hooked up to Walkmans."

This novel is moving and sad, insightful and funny. I've read it several times and think you should do.

[melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engrossing

Like all of Stephen McCauley’s novels, this book pulls you in to all of the characters lives, each acts as metaphor for some aspect of the main characters own psyche. McCauley has that wonderful gift of creating characters that are so real you miss them terribly when the book is through. And through their experiences you learn, alongside the main character, about life, about yourself. A truly gifted writer. Thank you, Stephen!

[Kathryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this. It’s beautifully written and the dialogue is often quite funny. Yet the characters are so sad and there’s so much misery heaped on them that it was very hard to keep going, and it dragged the plot down. I’ll try other works by this author, because I’m impressed by the style, but this one just didn’t work for me.

[Tom Leland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not much happens, and no one is particularly likable, and issues I longed to have resolved either aren't, or become worse. But the writing and human observations were clever enough to keep me mildly interested throughout.

[Agoaye Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

En commençant ce roman, je l'ai trouvé long et peu palpitant.
C'est vrai !
Mais il est certain aussi qu'on s'attache à ces personnages écorchés et finalement tous seuls.
C'était un bon moment, émouvant finalement.

[Susan Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

McCauley writes a wonderful, funny, breezy novel and this one is no different. Clyde Carmichael is a man with issues who is surrounded by a wild cast of characters who also have issues. This is the simple story of how they all interact and face life. It's just a nice, easy, fun read.

[Margie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed My Ex-Life and Stephen McCauleys's writing style. This one, not so much. Too many neurotic, depressing characters.

[Amandine Denis · Rating 3 out of 5]

On en ressort avec une certaine tristesse. Bien écrit mais pas fou non plus.

[Moira · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a snapshot of what the mid-90s felt like in a college town: unimpeachable. As a comedy of manners with ambitions of social commentary: uneven.

[Richard Jespers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written but predictable. One feels there is a serious novelist lurking just beneath the surface of this work [in my considered opinion].

One Fabulous Quote of Many:

"I went to a bank of pay phones discreetly tucked into one corner of the lobby and took my place in a row of business-suited men and women, the men all mumbling into the mouthpieces and the women talking loudly. In hotel lobbies, women are usually calling home to check on their kids and the husbands they're about to betray with their business partners, and men are phoning their mistresses to make tortured, whispered promises that it's only a matter of time before they leave their wives. If the religious fruitcakes in this country are really as concerned with saving the American Family as they claim, they'd be well advised to get off their Kill Faggots platform and start lobbying against pay phones" (194-5).

Of course, the passage is totally anachronistic today, but that makes it even better, and you can change "pay phones" to "cell phones," and well . . . .

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was taking me forever to get through this book. So I stopped reading it. At the rate I was going, it would have taken me another month.
Not saying it was a bad book, per se, but...
The author is wonderful at descriptions of the things that are going around him (the main character 1st person POV). But there was just too much. It took away from the plot. Actually, I have no idea what the plot was.
This guy missed his boyfriend. He was taking care of a dog for a boy whose mother was a good friend and couldn't keep the dog. Those were the main plot points.

It was a fun read, while it lasted and I have been debating for over a week to set it down.

169 of 287 pages. So close, yet so far.

[Deana · Rating 2 out of 5]

If this novel is even close to accurate remind me to never move to Cambridge, the people sound awful! There were funny bits in the book here and there but overall it's a mildly dull story about immature, entitled and uninspired people. The main character Clyde is an ass who thinks he's clever ( he's not) and the only person with a hint of self confidence and goal setting abilities gets mocked throughout the story. The writing style keeps the book from being terrible.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has been languishing on my shelf for quite a long time so it's not like I was really excited to read it, but glad I did. It's an amusing tale of 35-year-old gay man named Clyde who teaches listlessly at an adult education facility, while dealing with a cantankerous father and other assorted odd characters. McCauley's writing style so entertained me that I put several of his other books on my TBR list.

[John Bateman · Rating 4 out of 5]

The comic aspect of this novel is earnest and fun, without dismissing the real struggle of imperfect relationships and family. I had a strange empathetic crush on Clyde, and felt optimistic over his budding paternalistic friendship with Ben. This is one of the stories that forced me to care enough about the characters to wonder what happened after the last page.

I wish someone had introduced me to Stephen McCauley sooner.

[Suzan Poisner · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I didn't really like any of the characters, the story was so well written that I was drawn in, looking forward to what was on the next page. The author did a wonderful job laying out the environment in such exquisite detail that I could smell the leaves underfoot as Clyde went on his walks around town, and watch the dust swirl as his antique fans stirred the heavy air in his sharply angled attic ceilings. I'll be on the lookout for another book by Stephen McCauley.

[Suzanne Macartney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unlucky in love and life, Clyde teaches at an adult learning center, his roommate is a gorgeous, procrastinating PhD student, and he is reunited with an old pal, a single mother in Boston. Father issues arise. Touching, sad, funny. Sometimes when I can't sleep I reread pages of this adorable novel.

[Hope · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice little read. I liked the main character and felt like the story line and he were not treated like this is "queer fiction." It's just who he is and a part of his life. His romantic or want-to-be-romantic relationships are just that, and he is influenced in them by his past with his family or origin and his life experiences just like anybody else.