Sexual Authenticity: An Intimate Reflection on Homosexuality and Catholicism

by Melinda Selmys

Real glimpses into the hearts and lives of other people are rare...

Columnist and author Melinda Selmys gives readers an unusual opportunity to explore the topic of homosexuality and the Catholic Faith from a fresh, sincere perspective. Her intensely personal reflections help clarify the misconceptions that have hindered meaningful dialogue between Catholics and homosexuals. Transcending stereotypes and avoiding pat sentiments, she speaks directly to every Christian who has experienced same-sex attraction or knows someone who has.

In addition to her personal story of exchanging secular lesbianism for Catholicism and resolving her own inner conflicts, the author presents an enlightening analysis of history, social theory, and media influence on the subject of homosexuality. She refutes much of the clumsy theorizing and junk science common from both sides of the debate, effectively bridging many gaps between perceptions and reality. Selmys addresses the complexities surrounding sexual identity with pronounced compassion, adding a practical discussion of the Theology of the Body to complete the circle from a Catholic perspective.

Her ground-breaking book expertly walks the fine line between divisiveness and platitudes. A must read for everyone who has ever felt ambiguous about the Church's stance on homosexuality or those who have longed to see the fall of anti-gay iconoclasm that has compromised Christianity.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Religion, Gender and Sexuality, Catholic, Christian, Faith

239 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a necessary read. Melinda writes with compassion and insight, as well as with humor, vulnerability, and yes, authenticity, on such a vital topic. I'm left with a lot to think, write, and pray about.

[Stephanie O'keefe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear, intelligent, and well-written. My only superficial complaint is desiring a bit more cohesiveness between the five parts. Naturally there are plenty of areas where I think Selmys is spot on and I am grateful for her unique insights. But there are other areas where I wasn’t sure she was completely correct. Nevertheless, her arguments are clear enough that one has plenty of room to see where she is comin from and understand where she might be wrong (which is not often). I think many would benefit from reading rhis book and challenging their thiughgs on what society has spoon-fed is about what homosexuality is and what is isn’t. Catholics are just as guilty of these errors as non-Catholics.

[Brett Salkeld · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy to read. Interesting. Contains some real gems, including the chapter on Children and a very clear and concise introduction to John Paul II's Theology of the Body.

On the other hand, idiosyncratic (which I could deal with if it were not also), a bit directionless and occasionally a touch self-indulgent.

Selmys probably has the talent to write a very good book. I'm not sure she's done it yet.

[adele · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not what I was looking for at the time when I bought it, but after a few years of it sitting on my shelf it was alright enough for where I’m at now. The author is very wordy, prosy, and likes to get into metaphors and analogies that occasionally work, and are often beautifully imagined, but in general are not the best as a foundation or “evidence” for an argument. She is more inclined towards a distinct sort of artistry, imagery, and whimsy that I don’t particularly care for so again, while I could appreciate the stories she expressed, I found myself skimming through them, stopping and reengaging when her prose became more concrete and straightforward.

As for the content itself, (and I only realized this halfway through) it is appealing towards individuals who are already Catholic/Christian, “Godly inclined” individuals, so it skipped over a lot of the conversation that I might have been most interested in. However, the themes she explores through that lens is well thought through (as it is retelling her own story and how she came to her own position).

Overall it was fine. This is my first book like this so as I explore this topic more I might come back with a better opinion born of comparison, but for now I’m just walking away with a few choice statements, quotes, and food for thought.

Last comment, but I think one of my favorite bits is from when she briefly touched on Christianity and laws (I think?). She made an explicit point that you can have Cristian morality. All fine and good. But it MUST be balanced with Christian charity (love). You can not have one without the other. And just in an “if/then” situation, but an “and”. Every action of Christian morality must not be merely tempered with Christian charity, but enacted with. Also lead with love. Relationships are the foundation of our society, and a foundation of love and mutual respect of another’s intrinsic and inalienable dignity is paramount for any relationship and conversation

[Lily Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the beautiful story of an atheist woman who converted to Catholicism, having been captivated by the beauty and truth of the church. It is a story that moved my heart because I didn’t necessarily feel as though the aim was to convince me of something. It moreso felt like a friend of mine was telling me the story of her life and the things that she became convicted of along the way. For non Catholics, there are probably aspects of this book that could be a bit difficult to connect with. Regardless, I would still recommend it. What touched me most were the last 5 chapters or so—many reflections on love, marriage, and family. I always love to read of others’ experiences in the church and this was particularly moving. PM was right—it was most definitely a book that I would and did enjoy.

[Raul · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am left speechless by this masterful, honest piece of work. Ms. Selmys is an incredible author and highly intelligent while remaining artistic in her presentation concerning her difficult journey.

[Sasha Wolf · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought-provoking in places, but sometimes rather facile. The best passages are the autobiographical ones.

[Walter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Selmys audacious spiritual honesty rejuvenates the reader—reminds them of what’s most important.

[Lara · Rating 4 out of 5]

The final two sections of this book (on God and on Identity) touched me deeply. There were insights that caused me to reflect, and ultimately helped to increase my humility, sense of worth, ability to love and be loved (by others and by God). I don't know if the author's reflections would do this for ever reader, but this my experience.

The author does write with a particular style, using metaphors heavily saturated in fantasy imagery. At times it felt unrelatable and unnecessary, yet I can also appreciate that it may have been integral to the author being her authentic self. As imperfect or off-putting as some of her ideas (or expression of her ideas) may be, I ultimately appreciated the openness and authenticity of this book. Too often these issues are discussed in a sterile context. Too often only by men. I really appreciate that this book is written from a very real, human perspective. And written by a woman.

[Aaron Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Melinda is a brilliant and thoughtful writer, and tackles a difficult subject with a modicum of sensitivity. However, while she introduces some personal anecdotes, some of them she stretches too far in order to apply them to things which they don't. This book basically explicates basic Catholic doctrine, and, as such, there is no new thought, just well explicated Catholic thought (not necessarily a weakness, just don't look for new insights.) The book also seems to lack a coherent structure at times. That said, it's one of her first books and is a good read, regardless of affiliation. I'll admit, it had me in tears through the final paragraphs.

[Ben Geib · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poetically and with great prose, "Sexual Authenticity" serves as a memoir on the author's transition between homosexuality to Catholicism. Crafting a theology of homosexuality is not the point, rather scattered thoughts on homosexuality's tendrils in everyday culture.

[Erin Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

She is an incredibly smart and gifted writer. There was a lot more philosophy and great thinking on life and gender in general than I was expecting. Even if you don't agree with her, as most non-Catholics won't, it's worth the read.

[Claire Gilligan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my favorite kind of nonfiction: part memoir, part facts, tackling a controversial issue with vulnerable honestly and challenging both sides in the process. I'd forgotten quite how good this book was, and am looking forward to reading its sequel!