Ourselves As Mothers: The Universal Experience Of Motherhood

by Sheila Kitzinger

Explores motherhood around the world, including India, China, Zambia, and Israel in addition to European and American practices, and advocates adapting the best mothering traditions from each society

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Feminism

288 pages, Paperback

Published November 20, 1994

About the author

Sheila Kitzinger M.B.E, M.Litt is a social anthropologist of birth and author of 24 books published internationally, most on the emotional journey through this major life experience. At Oxford in the 50s she discovered that the social anthropology of that time was almost entirely about men. She decided she would do research to discover what was important in women's lives, and focused on pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding.
Her five children were all born at home. She lectures widely in different countries and has learned from mothers and midwives in the USA and Canada, the Caribbean, Eastern and Western Europe, Israel, Australia and New Zealand, Latin America, South Africa and Japan, and from women in prison and those who have had a traumatic birth experience.

Reviews

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kitzinger tackles a far bigger subject that can even begin to be addressed by this 300-some page book. She looks at the commonalities and differences in mothering/motherhood in many different cultures, always coming round to highlight the serious gaps between the motherhood styles of pre-(or non-)industrial society and our own industrial technocratic society. She seems to be pretty adamantly against the standard makeup of the general life of the industrial society mother -- though she doesn't glamorize the life of the peasant/non-industrial mother either.

One of her points that really struck home was her assessment of the isolation of the "ideal" (industrial society) mother. It is only in industrialized societies that the mother is alone with her child(ren) for extended periods of time. In all other cultures, mothering/parenting takes place communally, with a tribe of other women and children who provide companionship, support, advice, and form a sisterhood. These mothers, due to the support and the public nature of their motherhood, are significantly less prone to baby-shaking and child battering -- unlike the mothers of our culture that spend 8 or more hours each day alone with just an infant to talk to. Motherhood is tribal -- it is simply too grand a task to do sanely by one's self -- and that is the way it makes the most sense.

I would say that anyone with an interest in parenting should jump into this book for a new perspective of what it means to be a mother.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was interesting, and sometimes difficult to read because of all of the social injustice Kitzinger discusses. I found myself going to bed angry after reading certain chapters, particularly the state of the birth culture in the US and the way that men have taken over as birth attendants in western societies.

There is a lot to be angry about, for sure, but the more I read, the more I heard Kitzinger's own voice - a voice filled with almost hatred for men. She did make many good points, and cited relevant research, but I couldn't help but think that some of her conclusions were a bit of a stretch, based on her own *extreme* feminism.

Overall, I didn't learn much more than I have in other books related to childbirth and mothering, but I enjoyed this book less than the others.

[Angie Moulton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Required reading for DONA doula certification, it took a while to really get into this one. The beginning chapters seemed irrelevant and foreign to me, but by the end of the book you realized the information and multicultural awareness you have amassed. I especially loved the final few chapters on working mothers, fathers, and the future for motherhood, brilliant!

[Jenne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kitzinger's Rediscovering Birth is my favorite book about cultural, emotional and social aspects of pregnancy and childbirth, mainly because of her expertise in anthropology and history. I looked to Ourselves As Mothers to fulfill the same role in my life in the context of early mothering and transition to motherhood. I was unfortunately disappointed in a couple of regards. Her scholarship appeared lacking in the discussion of child abuse in traditional societies. She made the claim that abuse was not observed by anthropologists. Perhaps it is due to the intervening years since this was published, but studies of sexual abuse in traditional societies are know available. While she mentions fatherlessness (and the exploitation of mothers for up to 80% of income) in the context of traditional and Western societies, she leaves out the effects of substance abuse on father child relationships. By doing this, traditional societies are not just compared but idealized in an inaccurate way. The work of Jared Diamond is more recent and in depth about family dynamics in a traditional society. I read this for DOÑA certification as a postpartum doula and very little was new to me. The strength of this book is the descriptions of mother support practices in traditional societies.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit outdated, but gives some excellent perspective about motherhood as it exists across cultures. The anthropological perspective that Kitzinger gives is interesting but at times seems a bit removed from the day-to-day experience of real people. It is a big-picture view of motherhood around the world with a limited sample (she only goes over a few representative cultures to examine the concept of motherhood). Excellent read for anyone who is staying home with children as a primary occupation.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book probably 25 years ago when Hanna was born. Its out of print now. Very fascinating exploration of the mothering experience over the world. I may have a dusty copy somewhere deep in my stacks.

[Fiona Endsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sheila Kitzinger at her best! A must read for any future or current mother.

[Danielle Rich · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most Amazing. book i have ever read thst covers motherhood in a cultures and tribal experience. ..i cry and laugh. as i read this book . highly highly highly recommend !!!!!