Of Knights and Fair Maidens: A Radical New Way to Develop Old-fashioned Relationships

by Jeff Myers, Danielle Myers

When God brought them together, Jeff and Danielle Myers had both been searching for alternatives to the dating game. OF KNIGHTS AND FAIR MAIDENS is the funny, heart-warming story of how they got to know each other through courtship -- the way people used to meet and fall in love before dating was invented.

Jeff and Danielle offer a radical new approach to this old-fashioned way of developing relationships. Learn fun, creative ways to get to know each other, strategies for developing character together, ideas to help a guy get to know a girls dad, and answers to tough questions about relationships.

Self-published in 1996, this title has sold more than 20,000 copies. It includes a recommendation and a chapter by Joshua Harris, best-selling author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Christian, Parenting

96 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 1996

About the author

Over the last 20 years Dr. Jeff Myers has become one of America’s most respected authorities on youth leadership development and has equipped thousands of people to champion the Christian worldview.

Reviews

[Holly]

While I adore Jeff Myers as a speaker, use his speech materials and think it is fabulous that he heads up Summit Ministries, I have to say that this the worst courtship-themed book I've read to date (and I've read every one that I can get my hands on). Essentially it is Jeff and Danielle Myers telling a bit about THEIR courtship experience--it's a glimpse into HOW they did it. It is even thin on their HOW, while the WHY behind their choices is near to non-existent in this book. Scripture is almost not mentioned, and the Word is most assuredly NOT the backbone of the book, or their personal method. Their lists and suggestions are concise and worth taking into consideration for certain, but the reader had best come to this book with a full-orbed Biblical worldview of marriage already, or they will be putting on black robes and following the Myers' lists like the Pharisees counting the steps they take on the Sabbath! Frankly, I disagree strongly with a few of Jeff's perspectives in the book. In many ways this book is the antithesis of Voddie Baucham and Doug Wilson's courtship books (both of which I consider excellent). Craig Houston's courtship series available to listen to at Westside Baptist (of Bremerton, WA)'s website is also excellent--long on the WHY and WORLDVIEW BEHIND courtship, engagement and marriage. On the whole I am disappointed that a worldview guru has a book so light on Scriptural support (even though I know that I do not have any doubts about their orthodoxy from all I know of them apart from this book). While I think the Myer's courtship (their orthopraxy) is perfectly lawful and good and I appreciate their willingness to share their story and to promote an antidote to the "divorce training" that IS modern dating, I think presenting their preferences in this way is going to lead a bunch of worldview-weak people to seek to use THEIR approach as a checklist for coursthip--which, in the end, misses the heart of relationship!

[Linda]

We read this to our kids when they came into their teen years. This book offers a great perspective and alternative to what has become the custom of dating. In light of the continuing increase in divorce, teen pregnancy and abortions, it has become obvious that something is wrong with the way people pursue relationships with the opposite sex and choose spouses.

I'll never forget reading an article about pre-marital sex that made the statement, "There's no condom for the heart." Forget the possibilities of pregnancy and STD's, sex outside of a lasting commitment leaves emotional scars. You can only give all of yourself completely to someone ONCE, and if that relationship doesn't last, you can never get that part back.

Sorry for getting side tracked, because this book isn't really about sex; but if people would value and respect the other individual they get involved with rather than thinking primarily about what they can get out of the other person, and would think about the purpose of the relationship and where they want it to end up before even starting, I think there might be fewer broken hearts, dysfunctional families, and hurt children.

This may sound so old-fashioned (notice the subtitle) and out of touch with reality, but hey folks, the marriages and families in America are a mess, so something's not working, and I'm just saying this may offer a different way to do things.

[Melanie Fair]

This was an interesting, short read. Do I agree with everything this couple did in their courting? No. Did they sound cheesy in this interview style? Yes.
But did they bring up a valid point? Yes. Honestly, do you want to be the one who had all of these boyfriends when you finally do marry? And are you just dating to fulfill that cuddle need? It gave me something to think about with my own relationship.

[Kaysie]

This is a very interesting approach to courtship and has lots of fun ideas...though some are a bit "uncomfortable" sounding!

[Kara]

Not what I was expecting. Full review coming in a few weeks.

[Erica Slogar]

I feel like courting is such an old fashioned process. There are valuable lessons to be learned from this book. Courting, however, is not on my to-do list.