Holy Water

by James P. Othmer

A mordant, ruefully funny novel about downsizing, outsourcing, globalization,  third-world dictatorships, and vasectomies, by the acclaimed author of The Futurist and Adland .

Henry Tuhoe is the quintessential twenty-first-century man. He has a vague, well-compensated job working for a multinational  conglomerate—but everyone around him is getting laid off as the company outsources everything it can to third-world countries.

He has a beautiful wife—his college  sweetheart—and an idyllic new home in the leafy suburbs, complete with pool. But his wife won’t let him touch her, even though she demanded he get a vasectomy; he’s seriously overleveraged on the mortgage; and no matter what chemicals he tries the pool remains a corpselike shade of ghastly green.

Then Henry’s boss offers him a choice: go to the tiny, magical, about-to-be-globalized Kingdom of Galado to oversee the launch of a new customer-service call center for a boutique bottled water company the conglomerate has just acquired, or lose the job with no severance. Henry takes the transfer, more out of fecklessness than a sense of adventure.

In Galado, a land both spiritual and corrupt, Henry wrestles with first-world moral conundrums, the life he left behind, the attention of a steroid-abusing, megalomaniacal monarch, and a woman intent on redeeming both his soul and her country. The result is a riveting piece of fiction of and for our times, blackly satirical, moving, and profound.

Genres: Fiction

304 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Author of the novels THE FUTURIST and HOLY WATER and the nonfiction advertising memoir ADLAND: Searching for the Meaning of Life on a Branded Planet. Also, writing as James Conway, the author of the financial thriller THE LAST TRADE.

Reviews

[Elle Arnot · Rating 4 out of 5]

If what the author describes through the eyes of his protagonist Henry was not all too true, one would laugh more. Author is a master of cynical juxtaposition of words and images that nail the absurdity, twisted logic and shameful operations of American companies who prey on the turmoil and frailties of developing countries. The multinationals' greed and contemptible practices to screw countries and cultures mirror and magnify the contempt they show for their employees. Henry hasn't entirely swallowed the corporatism koolaid and that's his problem. He thinks. And he even excavates a morsel of idealism from his soul. He's developed enough as a character so as not to be a just satirical cartoon, but the women in the novel aren't. If you like Vonnegut and Tom Wolf, you will probably enjoy this novel even if the author does have the constructive genius of Wolf or deep dark angst of Vonnegut quite yet. But he's a shredder and I hope he keeps shredding.

[Hugh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderfully insightful AND entertaining. (I rarely get to pair those two...) smart and funny, but with a human tug of outrage at how we conduct our business overseas.

[Jelliam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Only gets good around page 200 when Henry's annoying ass gets punched by Maya. Up until then it was Incredibly exhausting and painfully white and cishet and I would've much rather read about Rachel's witchcraft than listen to Henry drone on about life. Last 100 pages? Incredible and realistic in that shit in life is fucked and hard and great. Can't reccomend it to anyone because of the terrible first two thirds but I suppose I'll say I enjoyed it .

[Lucretia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is just a strange story. There are messages for readers within the strange story. I hope there are not places in our world like the one described but I suspect there may be.

[Len · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely loved James Othmer's first novel, The Futurist, so I was really looking forward to Holy Water. It didn't disappoint, although it's not as good as The Futurist in my opinion.

Holy Water still includes Othmer's wit and cultural references. It's a thoroughly modern tale of an American male in mid-life crisis mode, with a fun "consumerism" spin and a great story of what my son calls "Capitalism with a Face" as the story revolves around a company doing the socially conscious thing strictly to make itself look good. Hell, even the protagonist, who it's hard to feel sorry for, comes up with the idea to help the people of a poor Asian country simply to bed a beautiful local woman. Surprise -- it all comes crashing down!

Othmer is my kind of writer and I hope he continues to write novels. One of the fun aspects of this book was he occasionally would include references to the music his protagonist was listening to or thinking about and his musical taste is similar to mine. Not too many novelists bring up The National in their stories!

I recommend this novel along with The Futurist.

[David]

This book starts out a strong four stars but with the ending descends to a two star rating. It starts out as a trenchant satire on the work place and home life and turns into action adventure towards the end that isn't in any way a satire, but out and out action adventure. These two styles do not mesch well in this book and became a bitter disappointment. The love interest between Henry and Maya in the end totally feels out of place and designed to satisfy some dipshit hollywood type who wants this book to be a romantic comedy. It totally bored me in the end, and this angers me because the beginning had so much potential. A misfire for Othmer. It is definitely not Vonnegut.

[Judy Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. What an excellent book. Only 146 pages in and I am absolutely taken. Do NOT- I repeat - DO NOT be alarmed or discouraged by the description on the flap of the mythical land of Galado. I was . I almost didn't read it because it sounded like piece a cgi fantasy-with a whole lot of white flowing beards and pink unicorns.
I could NOT have been more wrong. There is NOTHING mythical or computer generated about this book. This guy has written here in this book some of the most accurate and vicious takes on 3rd world exploitation.
Madden- the character? fucking brilliant.
Excellent story. Excellent writing.Brilliant all the way. Read it. JM

[Margee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Henry Tuhoe is a suburban New Yorker with many problems: disappearing job, disintegrating marriage, and lately, disappointing experiences at 'meat night', the neighborhood guy-fest. Despite all this, his life is about to change with his expatriation to a small Indian province to market bottled water. The monumental disconnect between the taken-for-granted modern life Henry leaves behind and the typical subsistence level existence he encounters is eye-opening and hilarious. Henry desperately needs a reason to go on, and it's very entertaining to be along for the revelations.

[Becky C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this dark satire very much. When Henry Tuhoe travels to a third-world country to run a customer service call center, he finds himself in the mind-boggling position of working for a bottled water company in a country where plastic bottles are outlawed and the majority of the population does not have access to potable water.Well-written and humorous, it raises a lot of interesting questions about first-world consumer culture and third-world realities.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Othmer tells the story of a typical, white male yuppie in today's technology and corporate-driven world. Henry is a guy who lives in the suburbs and commutes to the city for his soul-sucking job. He struggles with who he is, why he is here, and why he is so miserable.

This is written in such a way that it seems that it would be easy to transfer it to a movie script. It's funny, sarcastic, and speaks so many truths that I often found myself smiling and nodding.

[Derek · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall a good read. The book is a good statement on the materialistic world we've created and becoming complacent with a job and life that serves the corporate machine.

It was hard to like or feel sorry for any of the characters. It seemed like no one genuinely cared for anyone/anything but themselves.

All in all, the book was well written and definitely an example of how not to live your life...

[Christopher Swann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rarely has existential crisis been so dark and so funny. This novel is as absurd as today's headlines. Othmer knows his subject--the morally bankrupt and irony-soaked machinations of the corporate world--like a surgeon knows the biology of the human body. A compelling, hysterical, and surprisingly uplifting book.

[Shelley Hinojos · Rating 2 out of 5]

Holy Water started out quirky in a good way. Henry was a mess and sparked an interest from the beginnging. Book took a downturn on page 199 when his relationship with Maya got silly without any reason to go there. Quirky Henry was lost for awhile. However the author managed a half arse save at the end.

[Mary Rodeback · Rating 4 out of 5]

Othmer's darkly comic, oddly insightful story of a corporate lackey's accidental redemption is well worth the time. If only it came with a CD containing the allusional soundtrack laced through the text!

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a little deceiving. I expected a comical romp, and although it was quite humorous, it also had a philosophical and spiritual element that made it impossible to put down. Very enjoyable.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

A man suffering from a personal crisis accepts an assignment to bring a call center to a fictional Nepal-like mountain kingdom. This would make a good screenplay and, unfortunately, often reads like one.

[Kirk · Rating 2 out of 5]

Can't hold a candle to The Futurist, which was an excellent book. Still an interesting read, but just a less well done version of his first book in my opinion. It is quick, interesting and entertaining though, so I can't pan it, just not exceptional, but a decent in between books read.

[Paige Murphy]

Didn't finish it. I got this because the back of the book calls him the new Vonnegut. Please!!!!!! Not so good.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprisingly good. Enjoyed the humor and the personalities.