What do you think?
Rate this book
Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child
Required reading for parents who want to give their child the best start in life!
Must your charming five-month-old turn into a tiny terror? Are the "terrible twos" and public tantrums inevitable? Burton White, author of the classic The First Three Years of Life , doesn't think so. Basing his recommendations on thirty-seven years of research and observation, White shows how to bring up an independent, socially secure, and delightful child.
In his groundbreaking and easy-to-follow book, White takes parents through the normal development stages of their child's first thirty-six months, recommending the best ways to:
—React to a child's intentional cry
—Cope with stranger anxiety, separation anxiety, and sibling rivalry
—Manage unacceptable behavior without causing emotional harm to a child or damaging the parent/child relationship
—Handle challenging sleep situations, calm a cranky newborn, and deal with the toddler's fine art of the whine
All parents who want a peaceful, loving relationship with their child instead of a constant emotional tug-of-war will find that Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child is the one book that must have a place on their shelf.
Must your charming five-month-old turn into a tiny terror? Are the "terrible twos" and public tantrums inevitable? Burton White, author of the classic The First Three Years of Life , doesn't think so. Basing his recommendations on thirty-seven years of research and observation, White shows how to bring up an independent, socially secure, and delightful child.
In his groundbreaking and easy-to-follow book, White takes parents through the normal development stages of their child's first thirty-six months, recommending the best ways to:
—React to a child's intentional cry
—Cope with stranger anxiety, separation anxiety, and sibling rivalry
—Manage unacceptable behavior without causing emotional harm to a child or damaging the parent/child relationship
—Handle challenging sleep situations, calm a cranky newborn, and deal with the toddler's fine art of the whine
All parents who want a peaceful, loving relationship with their child instead of a constant emotional tug-of-war will find that Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child is the one book that must have a place on their shelf.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1994
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
October 24, 2009
Life saver!
March 10, 2025
In addition to this book, my wife & I took the “New Parents As Teachers” class with Dr. White that the book mentions on page 225. NPAT was with 9 other first time parents (so the parents wouldn’t have to break bad habits) of nearly identically aged newborns (so the babies were in the same stage). We met at Dr. White’s home monthly, and Dr. White instructed us on what was coming and what to buy {and not buy). He would come to our home monthly with a grad student to observe and make suggestions. Results: 35 years later all 5 of my kids graduated from the top Magnet School with 49 other brilliant students in a university city of more than 300,000. First child is Pediatric Cardiologist with 18 published journal articles from THE top program. Second is Mechanical Engineer with Master's & 2 patents, Third is Electrical Engineering grad with 1 patent, 2 papers, and 2 promotions in 3 years, Fourth and Fifth (twins) are getting Masters in Engineering. 1 of the 2 says his advisor told him he was the most brilliant student he’s ever had.
The socialization principles from the class are the same as in the book. The class is mentioned as well in his “The New First Three Years” (p. 167) book which covers more broadly the development stages so the above academic achievements are more related to that. The fact that we never had “Terrible Twos” is because of the principles in this book.
The results are so good I am concerned humanity may lose Dr. White’s advances. Please buy the book to keep it in print!
Best toys:
Unbreakable mirror so the image is always changing
Beach ball once the baby is crawling.
My phone number is (859) 699-6666 if you want to call me and talk about Dr. White’s work. I feel that strongly about it
The socialization principles from the class are the same as in the book. The class is mentioned as well in his “The New First Three Years” (p. 167) book which covers more broadly the development stages so the above academic achievements are more related to that. The fact that we never had “Terrible Twos” is because of the principles in this book.
The results are so good I am concerned humanity may lose Dr. White’s advances. Please buy the book to keep it in print!
Best toys:
Unbreakable mirror so the image is always changing
Beach ball once the baby is crawling.
My phone number is (859) 699-6666 if you want to call me and talk about Dr. White’s work. I feel that strongly about it
February 18, 2019
Good overview of child development and an important actionable message, but the thesis could have been presented more clearly and with examples. Also, for parents of older children (+3 years), no actionable advice.
May 17, 2017
A really interesting book. There were some slow parts. But I think it'd be useful if one were raising a child. Perhaps I'll pick it back up one day.
August 22, 2008
This was a helpful book for me since I am a first-time parent and really have no idea what to expect from my son now that he is entering the toddler stage. I have seen other toddlers that are extremely spoiled and I want to prevent that as much as possible.
My son just turned one, so I just quickly skimmed the part on birth to 14 mos. The author says there are three major goals for a 14 month old, which are satisfying curiosity, developing motor skills and enjoying social interaction. He state these must all be in balance. With first children and children of stay-at-home moms, often the social interaction is the child's main focus and this can lead to a spoiled child if not handled properly. The author goes on to give suggestions on how to prevent a child from becoming spoiled and tips on how to have the child well developed and unspoiled by 22-24 months of age.
I liked the book, but felt it was a bit wordy and repetitive and that is why I am only giving it 3 stars.
My son just turned one, so I just quickly skimmed the part on birth to 14 mos. The author says there are three major goals for a 14 month old, which are satisfying curiosity, developing motor skills and enjoying social interaction. He state these must all be in balance. With first children and children of stay-at-home moms, often the social interaction is the child's main focus and this can lead to a spoiled child if not handled properly. The author goes on to give suggestions on how to prevent a child from becoming spoiled and tips on how to have the child well developed and unspoiled by 22-24 months of age.
I liked the book, but felt it was a bit wordy and repetitive and that is why I am only giving it 3 stars.
March 3, 2016
I think every parent should read and follow Burton White's advice. I give this book to all expectant mother's I know. If only I could get them all to sit down and read it... :\
I followed Dr. White's advice for each stage of my kids first 3 years and I had two kids who garnered compliments where ever we went. Their pre-school teacher actually asked me to give a talk to the other pre-school parents on how to have happy, well disciplined kids (I didn't do it, I thought that would be the equivalent of a pre-school parent hanging). I owe these things to just following this book.
I will say, he is not a fantastic writer and often repeats himself but if you can get past that to the meat of the book and use his specific, unbelievably effective disciplining methods your first 3 years will be so much easier.. I promise.
"Don't take anything from a 6 month old that you wouldn't take from a 6 year old." Words to live by. :)
I followed Dr. White's advice for each stage of my kids first 3 years and I had two kids who garnered compliments where ever we went. Their pre-school teacher actually asked me to give a talk to the other pre-school parents on how to have happy, well disciplined kids (I didn't do it, I thought that would be the equivalent of a pre-school parent hanging). I owe these things to just following this book.
I will say, he is not a fantastic writer and often repeats himself but if you can get past that to the meat of the book and use his specific, unbelievably effective disciplining methods your first 3 years will be so much easier.. I promise.
"Don't take anything from a 6 month old that you wouldn't take from a 6 year old." Words to live by. :)
January 20, 2013
Aurgh this book was awful! While I agree with the scant concrete advice the author has to offer, this is the structure of each chapter:
Lots of ways in which your child can be spoiled, manipulates you and generally can ruin your life FOREVER
A page or so on some lame techniques to supposedly prevent the above
I don't believe my one year old wants to ruin my life- I think he is developing like a normal toddler and therefore feels frustration, etc. This book encouraged me to view my child with suspicion and not trust them or feel close to them. It sucked. Don't read this.
Lots of ways in which your child can be spoiled, manipulates you and generally can ruin your life FOREVER
A page or so on some lame techniques to supposedly prevent the above
I don't believe my one year old wants to ruin my life- I think he is developing like a normal toddler and therefore feels frustration, etc. This book encouraged me to view my child with suspicion and not trust them or feel close to them. It sucked. Don't read this.
December 10, 2008
I thought that most of the advice in this book was very practical. I do think he is right about letting babies explore, not giving them another obstacle to conquer by putting socks or shoes on their feet, not apologizing for putting diapers on them. etc. However, I will not be sitting my daughter down and holding her by her shoulders tight enough so she doesn't move after she does something I don't like.
February 6, 2010
My MOL gave me this book and I read it while pregnant and continue to read it now that my baby is toddler. I shared this book with several friends since I thought it gave valuable information to prevent raising a spoiled brat. Some of the research is dated to the 70's but, it still applies to today. Also respecting this author's opinion, i went out and purchased "The NEW First Three Years of Life".
July 2, 2009
Very practical and realistic information....I am a first time parent so I'm still searching and molding my own parenting style, this gave me some good tidbits to include and I refer back to it quite often.
October 5, 2009
I learned that avoiding the terrible twos can start as early as 5 months when babies discover the "intentional cry for company." This is a parred down version of "The New First Three Years of Life" and easier to read when sleepy.
February 13, 2008
John and I really liked the ideas in this book and it gave us an feel for how our baby was developing socially which was really helpful.
September 16, 2009
I enjoyed reading this book. I didn't gain a lot of new information out of it however it did make me a bit more diligent in the methods we were already using to raise our son.
June 23, 2011
cliffs notes:
be firm, set boundaries. don't let your kids walk all over you.
pretty good stuff.
what I got out of it?
dustin throws his food on the floor, mealtime is OVER.
the end.
be firm, set boundaries. don't let your kids walk all over you.
pretty good stuff.
what I got out of it?
dustin throws his food on the floor, mealtime is OVER.
the end.
April 11, 2013
3.5 stars for me.
January 2, 2014
Interesting commentary on a question I've wondered about: they always say you can't spoil a baby, so when can you spoil a child? Read this book for the answer. (It's earlier than you might think.)
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews