A provocative collection of empowering, confessional essays about motherhood and the nature of a life that is constantly interrupted by family and work is comprised of unspoken or taboo thoughts about the impact of motherhood on one's identity, relationships, and prospects as evaluated by women from the arts and media.
Being a new mother, I jumped on the opportunity to read Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood when approached to be a part of the TLC Book Tour. I am eager to read about other mothers' experiences, especially honest ones. In part, I'm seeking out stories that are similar to my own, ones I can relate to so that I know what I'm experiencing is normal--or some semblance of normal at least. For another, I can't help but feel a special bond with other mothers, and I am curious about their stories just as much as my own.
It is easy to talk--and write--about the light and fluffy side of parenthood. About the smiles and milestones reached. It is even easy to joke about bowel movements and leaky breasts. It isn't so easy, however, to talk about the realities, including and especially the struggles of the entry into motherhood. I suppose that is one reason why I found myself clinging to the essays in Between Interruptions. Here were women telling it like it is, saying what I have been wanting to say--but not sure how.
It seems as if this topic has been popping up everywhere these days--in books, the media and around the blogosphere. I wish I'd thought to look for a book like this early on. I might not have felt so isolated and alone. I did talk a little about my own experience early on with Postpartum Depression last summer both on this blog and at Tales from the Toybox. Although, even then, I wasn't quite ready to go into too much detail. It's still difficult for me to talk about.
Between Interruptions offers several different perspectives of motherhood as the contributing writers share their personal stories with the reader. We hear from working mothers and stay at home moms as well as mothers of non-traditional families as they talk about their experiences finding friends, adjusting to work or staying at home, breastfeeding, dealing with anxiety (both general and specific), infertility, and having a child with special needs--among other things. The contributing writers pull no punches. They share their experiences and feelings, offering a real glimpse of the obstacles they have encountered as well as the joys.
The stories of new mothers in the workforce especially touched home for me. I may not have quite as glamorous a job as some of the writers who contributed to the book, but I understand the internal conflicts of being a working mom, of needing (or wanting) to work and of leaving my child in someone else's care. I still sometimes breakdown in my car after saying goodbye to my daughter after our lunch time visits some seven months later. Leaving her in the mornings as she still sleeps in her crib hurts my heart. It makes the mornings I am there when she wakes up, a smile lighting her face, all the more special.
The section on guilt had me in tears, I confess. It hit so close to home: Postpartum Depression, pressures surrounding breast feeding, postpartum sex, and dealing with feelings of inadequacies and jealousy. I could have written any three of those essays. I saw myself in each of them. It was a relief to read stories of other woman who had gone through what I am going through.
I do not think any book about motherhood is complete without touching on non-traditional families. I work with a number of single mothers and have friends in same sex relationships with kids. I also know parents who have adopted children--I even assisted in a few adoptions myself. So, I was glad to see essays devoted to such mothers as well.
One of my favorite essays in the collection was one by Joy Kogawa and her daughter Deidre Kogawa-Canute: Comparing Notes: A Conversation Between Mother and Daughter. The two carried on a conversation about motherhood, the patterns carried down through generations, and about their own expectations and feelings about being a mother and daughter and how our actions impact each other. There was quite a lot packed into their conversation. It was clear the two didn't always get along, and yet the openness with which they shared such a conversation with each other makes if obvious that they respect and love each other very much.
Even with the difficulties many of these mothers faced, one thing shines through in all the essays. The mothers' love for their children and their desire to give them the best life they know how. I came away from the novel feeling a pride I had yet to feel as a mother, feeling stronger somehow.
The initial chapter of this book was title "Ambition" and filled with women that were under the grand delusion that having a child wouldn't actually change their lives that much...oh, and most of them could afford a nanny too. So, I was a little put off at first. But, the essays improved, and I was able to relate to many of them on some level. Definitely the authors expressed some raw honesty about motherhood that I myself would have been afraid to put on paper.
I’ve had such mixed feelings while reading this book, I’m really pleased that I had the opportunity to read such an incredible amount of love, loss, shame, guilt and hope that all comes with motherhood.
Before giving birth I read books about babies and how they grow inside you, what to do when they are here. But nothing about how this changes everything about you. That's it's ok to feel all the things and this doesn't make you any less of a mother!
I learned that the hard way 4 years after being a mother when my youngest daughter got diagnosed with cancer and I had all the time at the hospital to think and to figure out lots of things.
2 years after that I’m reading this book and in a way, I can relate to every mother and I feel sorry that mothers are usually shamed by other mothers instead of being supportive of each other.
Life after children is often something that takes most women completely by surprise. No matter the classes attended, books read and advice from friends nothing ever fully prepares you for those days of self-discovery. In Between Interruptions mothers from all walks of life share their honest and open experiences about this ever changing territory. Their stories range from hilarious to introspective, but their overarching theme remains the same…motherhood is an undiscovered country with a constantly changing environment that requires no less than what each mother has to offer, individually, for their own children and family.
Between Interruptions was a book I picked up because, well, I’m a mother. It goes without saying that I had an immediate interest in relating to other mothers who may have potentially been in my very shoes. As the publishers summary states, “most mothers don’t have time for long conversations”, and perhaps that’s part of the reason why I read so much. Reading is easily accessible, easy to stop and pick up, and it’s something I enjoy promoting to my children. That being said I love the opportunity to gather with friends and fellow mothers to chat about anything from our children to politics (yes, politics). So Between Interruptions was a no-brainer for me and I’m glad I picked it up.
Though I didn’t relate to or even connect with all or many of the mothers in the book I was still able to appreciate each of their stories individually. Before having children I think I was as naive as most of the women in the book, thinking that parenting would be a breeze. I’d simply tote along kiddos to whatever function or I’d get a sitter when needed. Well, surprise surprise my children completely changed the landscape of my life. The Turkeybird, though delightful and one of the two greatest blessings I’ve ever received was/is much more difficult than I could have imagined. He didn’t sleep through the night until almost nine months old, at eighteen months devoured books like candy leaving me at a loss as to how to stimulate him and certainly wasn’t interested in interacting with other children let alone a sitter. His medical diagnosis of Hyperlexia seemed to only bring more questions than answers. All of this aside, I became and am still becoming a different person than I ever thought I’d be. Though it’s been the most difficult transition of my life, motherhood is something I’m growing into and allowing myself to swim in.
Many of the stories that I connected with the most in Between Interruptions were much like my own. For example Carol Shaben’s story and how she related her life to the birth of her son by C-Section was inspiring. She quotes the words of famous American artist Charles DuBois toward the end of her essay:
“The important thing is this: To be able at any moment be able to sacrifice what we are for what we want to be.” (p. 59, Between Interruptions by Cori Howard)
It’s not the first time I’d read the quote, but in the context and feeling connected to this other mother I’ve never met before it became something more. It was stories like Carol’s that gave me that feeling that I’m not alone in this effort, which most of the time is all we need as mothers. A kind word, a phone call, an email or a short story from someone who knows the complexities surrounding the world we live in today as mothers. Now, obviously not all of these stories were like this and some of them quite honestly irritated me. Many of the writers were former journalists either in print or television media of some sort and many lived a life I only dreamed about. That being said, another thing I’ve learned since becoming a mother is to be less judgmental, to know that no one’s experience is the same and certainly of no less value than my own. Though perhaps I didn’t connect with all of the mothers I did connect with quite a few and I absolutely learned something from each one.
Between Interruptions by Cori Howard is a wonderful collection of essays that sheds light on the often difficult but joyous experiences of motherhood. With the demands we place on each other in this day and time mothers need connection, a shoulder to rest on and a listening ear. Each of the stories contained in Between Interruptions will leave readers with a sense of understanding and a feeling of peace knowing they aren’t alone in their experiences. As a mother who is still on her journey to becoming, it was wonderful to find these connections I have with fellow women for one reason or another and I’d certainly recommend Between Interruptions to friends and fellow mothers.
Originally reviewed and copyrighted at my site There's A Book.
Sheree-Lee Olson, Cori Howard and Susanna Kearsley will all join me for an on-line chat at Gail's Kitchen on Saturday, November 8 from 9 to 11 a.m. PST.
The topic of discussion? Finding that time to write within our very busy lives. All three authors are parents but still manage writing careers. How do they do it? Well, that’s what we’ll be chatting about. I’ll have a few ideas to throw in there myself as I’m the mom in a blended family of four!
Sheree-Lee Olson is editor of Globe Style for The Globe and Mail and author of a new novel, Sailor Girl. For more, check out Sheree-Lee’s website at: http://www.sheree-leeolson.com/. Sheree-Lee also has an essay in Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth about Motherhood.
Cori Howard is a Vancouver based journalist, writer and editor who has started up a series of writing courses for moms who are, as Cori puts it, "interested in learning how to translate their personal experience with motherhood into words." The classes are held at coffee shops in Vancouver and Toronto. For more on this, check out the Momoir Project at http://www.themomoirproject.com./. Cori is also the editor of the successful anthology, Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth about Motherhood, and a contributor to the anthology Double Lives: Writing and Motherhood.
Susanna Kearsley is a popular and award-winning suspense author. Her ninth book, The Winter Sea, set on the west coast of Scotland, was released in Canada in May. A lover of history and travel, she still travels widely to research her settings, which are mostly European. She's also a stay-at-home mom to two young children who, she says, keep her very busy when she isn't writing! For more on Susanna and her work, visit her two websites: http://www.susannakearsley.com/ http://www.emmacole.ca/
the first time i read it i had an 18 month old and I loved it. it's like spying on other mothers and reading their diaries. some authors are better than others but it is an interesting collection of essays by women about motherhood (as seen by successful educated older mothers with careers/celebrity status).
Probably an unfair review, but I downloaded it to my Kindle and it was in about 4pt font. Almost completely unreadable. I don't know if Ms Howard's aware of it, but I've not tried to delete and re-download.
Too bad, since I really wanted to read it. Quality assurance by authors would go a long way to getting them better reviews.
I found it very comforting to read stories of women who had to make difficult choices about their careers when they became mothers. I couldn't put the book down as I went from one story to another. For me, this was a pleasant departure from the 'miracle' culture of motherhood.
My kids are older and reading this took me back. It made me wish I had been easier on myself when my kids were small. Beautiful essays of varied experiences. Sometimes touching, sometimes hilarious. A great read.