Jesus Joseph Jeffery Jonathan Christ 😮💨 I just...omg. I can't believe I read the whole thing 🤦🏼♀️ Where do I even start? So years ago, I read an ARC for Carmen Rosales duet "He loves me /He loves me not" and while it was mostly a hot mess, there were several things that I intrigued me and stuck out to me. So when I was wanting a spicy highschool bully romance, I decided to give this one a go. I think the duet was actually written AFTER this book, something I wish I would have researched ahead of time, but alas, here we are.
So this story is almost EXACTLY the same as the duet. Everything about it. The girl from the wrong side of the tracks goes to an elite school, the rich, manwhore male lead, the gangster friend who is romantically interested in the heroine, the evil dad....ALL OF IT! I could tell where the book was going and what was likely to happen because it was so insanely similar. The things that intrigued me about the duet were not done or done in a way that didn't work in this book, so I guess the good news is she ironed that stuff out, the bad news is that made this book suck 10x worse.
The thing that she hasn't seemed to manage to figure out in this book or the last is the editing. Again, I'm not a stickler for typos and such, so if *I* notice it, it's pretty bad. Names spelled wrong, quotations in the wrong place, the wrong names sometimes, punctuation like a world scramble, just total disaster. The other thing decent editing or maybe even co-writing would do for this author is help her figure out more realistic and natural transitions and timelines. The characters flipped emotions on a dime for completely inexplicable reasons and it wasn't just like messy drama, although there DEFINITELY was that, but it was like the author just wanted to fit shit in the book and didn't care to figure out how to explain its presence. The heroine wasn't supposed to be a doormat character, at first she's painted as this emo hard ass whose been through all this pain, except she literally lets the H go through more mood swings than Britney Spears unmedicated on a 5 day coke bender and just...does absolutely NOTHING, like he doesn't even attempt to grovel, one second she's like "I hate him for life" and then he's like "get in the car!" and she's like "pssh, fine!" and then they're fucking again with no explanation or relationship building or anything. He may be the very worst H ever in the sense that I don't believe a single thing he tells her. He goes from loving and protecting her to at 80% of the book, to suddenly willing to let her die simply because he finds out who her father is, keep in mind, the heroine doesn't even know, has never had contact with him, is in no way associated with him other than they have the same DNA! And it takes NOTHING for him to get her back! The h only puts up token resistance to him, he never even had to grovel! The back and forth emotional whiplash is beyond exhausting and means you can never fully invest any real emotion into the book because it feels so unbelievable. The H commits beyond the pale actions MULTIPLE times and any time you think he can't get worse, he somehow finds a new low. Which is okay, if you can make me believe it in the context of the book world. Like there's dark romance and bully romance and then there's "doesn't even care about you enough to protect you any more and some other guy has to save you" What even was that?? 🤦🏼♀️ Which brings me to the the sharing scene. The other duet ALSO had a sharing scene done at the end, but the execution on that was 💯 better, so I guess I'm glad I know the author does eventually progress at least, but in THIS book, while the scene itself was hot, it made NO SENSE in the context of the book! The 4 guys all share all the girls all the time, so sharing her partially with a buddy just wasn't the big sacrificial, evening-the-score act they tried to make it out to be and it was basically just there for a hot threesome scene.
It's really a shame, because at the core of these books is actually a decent story, but the unrealistic back and forth drama that is never really resolved bogs it down to being near unreadable. If I see the author has made some serious relationship development improvements in a future book, I'd be interested in possibly trying it, but there would have to be significant writing style changes for me to consider giving it another go.