The Secret of Loving

by Josh McDowell

McDowell explores the values and qualities that will help the reader, whether single or married, be the right person for someone else.

Genres: Christian, Marriage, Nonfiction, Relationships, Christian Living, Love, Christianity

333 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1985

About the author

Josh McDowell is a bestselling Christian apologist, evangelist, and author of over 150 books, including Evidence That Demands a Verdict and More Than a Carpenter. Once an agnostic, he converted to Christianity while investigating its historical claims. He went on to earn degrees from Wheaton College and Talbot Theological Seminary. For decades, McDowell has been a prominent speaker with Campus Crusade for Christ, addressing issues of faith, character, and youth culture worldwide. His work emphasizes historical and legal evidence for Christianity and tackles challenges posed by skepticism and non-Christian beliefs. He lives in California with his wife, Dottie, and is the father of four children, including fellow apologist Sean McDowell.

Reviews

[Rebecca]

This book is really great to read whether you are thinking about a serious relationship, about to get married or currently married. McDowell's insightful and heartfelt honest approach is uplifting and engaging. Christian and non-Christians alike can gain an immense amount of advice and encouragement by reading this book.

[Silvia]

I loved it. It's not so easy to read as a novel is, because you have to stop and think about what you read, and it contains a lot of information. It covers a lot of aspects in the marriage life and it gives you great advice too. If you are not married, you can totally benefit from this book too, by applying these aspects to your life. Actually, this book is helping you see the things YOU have to change in your life, rather than expecting the other one to change. Search in being the right person, not searching for the right person.

[Emily Mills]

I think the content is great, but since I'm not dating and certainly not married, it doesn't really apply. I read this on the suggestion of "this great is book is great for anyone- married or single." I'd disagree. Read it if you're dating or married. If you're single, find other books.

[Maria Cherry]

This is an awesome book. I loved many years ago.. and will pick up again and again to serve as a life's journey daily reference.

[Andrii]

I got this book as a birthday gift from religious friends of my parents in 2005. Though the book is full of religious content it has a lot of useful advices in order to find or to become a person worthy of unconditional love. Sometimes the author gets sexist remarks like "the husband has the leading role in marrige but the wife should be able to take part in taking decisions". Still the book is from 1980es so you need to more accepting regarding that time culture. Actually this was one of the best advice - try to understand and accept your partner, try giving more and not calculating who did more or less.
It seems obvious, but it is always better to repeat some universal truths. If you have time to spare, take your time reading it. But the "Art of loving" by Erich Fromm should be more straightforward and without regious content.

[Cristy]

Bastante bueno en cuanto a fuentes de investigación de comportamiento humano. Y creo que hace un buen trabajo al siempre plantearlo con la palabra de Dios. Solo a veces persigo que la sabiduría que aporta está más en la experiencia que en la verdad. Pero muy útil y necesario para nuestras relaciones sociales de todo tipo. Sobretodo si eres soltera o soltero y anhelas casarte.

[Bob Wolniak]

I read this during the time I was wrestling with these issues just out of college and before marriage.

[Miriam Florescu]

So very helpful!!!

[Karina Heng]

So long ago I read this one.

[Jonathan]

Great book

Great book for couples, helped me a lot in my relationship with GOD and the girl I’m praying for as well !

[Yvonne]

Read this as a teenager and remembered it as helpful for my growing up years.

[Mariam]

The book is nice

[Mihai Anca]

Good tips about a biblical relationship, according to God.

[Ronnie Stark]

Mm mehh, self-help books are definitely not for me... but this it was ok

[Emily De Herbas]

Es un libro que te ayuda a ver las relaciones qué tienes con otros desde otra perspectiva con consejos bíblicos y ejemplos de vida.

[Ihor Khomiak]

Любов - це віддавати, ставити інтереси коханої людини вище за свої. Часом може здаватись, що воно того не варте, або що віддаємо, проявляємо ініціативу, виходимо із зони комфорту здебільшого тільки ми, а от наш партнер вважає, що так і має бути. Так от, навіть коли нам так здається (а часто це просто викривленні відчуття, які швидко минуть), нам потрібно все рівно продовжувати віддавати. Яке гігантське число випадків, коли чоловік чи дружина, котрі зробили перший крок до примирення, врятували свій шлюб. І при цьому робили вони це не через те, що були(чи відчували себе) більш винними, але тільки тому що хотіли зберегти любов і витягнути стосунки з вогню.
В стосунках приречених на успіх немає умовної любові. Навіть найприкріша людина у випадку, коли її люблять без умов, не може продовжувати стояти на місці. Щось починає з нею відбуватись. Тут тільки питання часу чи динаміки. Льод всерівно починає танути.
Хороші стосунки потребують сто-відсоткової віддачі незалежно від того, що ми отримаємо взамін. У таких стосунках ми любимо без “Якщо” і без “Тому, що”. Тут є люблю і крапка. Любов заразна, і це одна з її найкращих якостей.
Справжня любов - це марафон на довгу дистанцію. Це не біг на 100 метрів. Цей біг водночас прекрасний і складний. Всього два учасники. Тільки та людина котра біжить разом з нами, нам не опонент. Тут успіх - це тільки, якщо фінішували обоє.

[Samuel Muñiz]

Uno de los libros que más influenciado en mi vida. Lo leí atravesando una situación compleja y, sin duda, fue útil. Me ayudo a liberarme de la carga, en busca de crecimiento. Es cierto que nunca estamos listos para amar, debido a nuestra corrupción; sin embargo, podemos aventurarnos y dar lo mejor de sí.

A parte de que me ayudo a escribir algunas de mis mejoras notas. Espero en Dios, quien sí sabe amar, que éstas puedan ofrecer un fruto literario.

[Sandra]

One of the best books on understanding love, and why some people are incapable of ever loving at certain levels. WONDERFUL! If you are struggling with relationship problems, feel unloved, or want to grow your inner self----read this book.

I RECOMMEND IT!

[Rebekah]

This was a great book on loving in a relationship. It is very important to love yourself and you'll be better able to love others.

[Galen Olson]

best book i've read on relationships

[Valeria]

This is a book for younger people but even so I was able to find few practical advice and enjoy the reading.

[Yosef]

Excelente. Todos deberían leerlo, estén o no casados.