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Stay Here with Me: A Memoir
Olmstead journeys back to his youth on his grandfather's New Hampshire dairy farm to confront the ghosts that continue to afflict him, laying bare the acute pain of his father's alcoholism and the decline of his grandfather, the family patriarch. Authentic, intimate, and intense, Stay Here with Me is about growing up and leaving home and about the acts of rebellion that free the body even as they bind the soul to a place forever.
- GenresMemoir
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1996
2 people are currently reading
109 people want to read
About the author
Robert Olmstead
25 books150 followersRobert Olmstead (born January 3, 1954) is an award-winning American novelist and educator.
Olmstead was born in 1954 in Westmoreland, New Hampshire. He grew up on a farm. After high school, he enrolled at Davidson College with a football scholarship, but left school after three semesters in which he compiled a poor academic record. He later attended Syracuse University, where he studied with Raymond Carver and Tobias Wolff and received both bachelor's and master's degrees, in 1977 and 1983, respectively.
He is currently the Director of Creative Writing at Ohio Wesleyan University. He has also served as the Senior Writer in Residence at Dickinson College and as the director of creative writing at Boise State University. Olmstead teaches in the Low-Residency MFA program in creative writing at Converse College .
Olmstead is the author of the novels America by Land, A Trail of Heart's Blood Wherever We Go and Soft Water. He is also the author of a memoir Stay Here With Me, as well as River Dogs, a collection of short stories, and the textbook Elements of the Writing Craft.[2] He was the recipient of a Guggenheim Fellowship in 1989 and an NEA Literature Fellowship in 1993.
His novel Coal Black Horse (2007) has received national acclaim, including the 2007 Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize for Fiction[7] and the 2008 Ohioana Book Award for Fiction; it was also selected for the "On the Same Page Cincinnati" reading program and the Choose to Read Ohio’s 2011 booklist.
Booklist has named his latest novel Far Bright Star (2009) (the second book in the Coal Black Horse trilogy) as one of the Top Ten Westerns of the Decade; the book also received the 2010 Western Writers of America Spur Award. One reviewer praised Olmstead's ability to "translate nature's revelatory beauty into words", commenting that Coal Black Horse evokes what Henry David Thoreau described in Walden as "the indescribable innocence and beneficence of Nature"; by contrast, the Mexican desert of Far Bright Star is "the place of the sun shriveled and the dried up". The Chicago Tribune review praised the authenticity of the imagery and experiences in Olmstead's writing, while also comparing his writing to that of Ernest Hemingway. It noted the influence of contemporary events, such as the guerrila warfare during the U.S. occupation of Fallujah during the Iraq War.
Olmstead was born in 1954 in Westmoreland, New Hampshire. He grew up on a farm. After high school, he enrolled at Davidson College with a football scholarship, but left school after three semesters in which he compiled a poor academic record. He later attended Syracuse University, where he studied with Raymond Carver and Tobias Wolff and received both bachelor's and master's degrees, in 1977 and 1983, respectively.
He is currently the Director of Creative Writing at Ohio Wesleyan University. He has also served as the Senior Writer in Residence at Dickinson College and as the director of creative writing at Boise State University. Olmstead teaches in the Low-Residency MFA program in creative writing at Converse College .
Olmstead is the author of the novels America by Land, A Trail of Heart's Blood Wherever We Go and Soft Water. He is also the author of a memoir Stay Here With Me, as well as River Dogs, a collection of short stories, and the textbook Elements of the Writing Craft.[2] He was the recipient of a Guggenheim Fellowship in 1989 and an NEA Literature Fellowship in 1993.
His novel Coal Black Horse (2007) has received national acclaim, including the 2007 Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize for Fiction[7] and the 2008 Ohioana Book Award for Fiction; it was also selected for the "On the Same Page Cincinnati" reading program and the Choose to Read Ohio’s 2011 booklist.
Booklist has named his latest novel Far Bright Star (2009) (the second book in the Coal Black Horse trilogy) as one of the Top Ten Westerns of the Decade; the book also received the 2010 Western Writers of America Spur Award. One reviewer praised Olmstead's ability to "translate nature's revelatory beauty into words", commenting that Coal Black Horse evokes what Henry David Thoreau described in Walden as "the indescribable innocence and beneficence of Nature"; by contrast, the Mexican desert of Far Bright Star is "the place of the sun shriveled and the dried up". The Chicago Tribune review praised the authenticity of the imagery and experiences in Olmstead's writing, while also comparing his writing to that of Ernest Hemingway. It noted the influence of contemporary events, such as the guerrila warfare during the U.S. occupation of Fallujah during the Iraq War.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
July 2, 2012
I had a really great poetry teacher in school. Funny. Smart. Great bullshit detector. Seriously, almost frighteningly attuned to suss out if you were full of it.
One of our assignments was a poetry portfolio, one where we were to collect a couple dozen poems we loved, then supplement them with a few of our own.
It was easily one of the most difficult assignments I'd ever done.
The thing is, filling the binder with a couple dozen poets was easy. Philip Levine, Denver Butson, Donald Hall. And Raymond Carver. Because there always has to be Raymond Carver.
In the portfolio she wrote notes on some things. Not everything. Just a few. On the Donald Hall, she wrote, I like him, but I miss Jane Kenyon. On one of mine, she wrote something about how it sounded like something written by someone much older.
On the Raymond Carver, she wrote only, "Oh, Ray..."
Because what else can you say?
The thing that made the assignment so impossible was being a student and putting your own words next to someone like a Raymond Carver. Who has it in them to think they deserve to be right there next to Raymond Carver, a man whose power is such that when confronted with him, a woman of many incredible words can only say, "Oh, Ray..."?
Reviewing books is the same way. How do you talk about something really beautiful without tarnishing a little bit about what makes it so gorgeous?
Stay Here With Me is gorgeous, and it's unforgiving in being so damn pretty.
It's a great read if you're the kind of person who rereads sentences. Like this one:
"I knew no one who spoke as she did, whose words were like touch."
See? What the hell am I supposed to do with that?
One of our assignments was a poetry portfolio, one where we were to collect a couple dozen poems we loved, then supplement them with a few of our own.
It was easily one of the most difficult assignments I'd ever done.
The thing is, filling the binder with a couple dozen poets was easy. Philip Levine, Denver Butson, Donald Hall. And Raymond Carver. Because there always has to be Raymond Carver.
In the portfolio she wrote notes on some things. Not everything. Just a few. On the Donald Hall, she wrote, I like him, but I miss Jane Kenyon. On one of mine, she wrote something about how it sounded like something written by someone much older.
On the Raymond Carver, she wrote only, "Oh, Ray..."
Because what else can you say?
The thing that made the assignment so impossible was being a student and putting your own words next to someone like a Raymond Carver. Who has it in them to think they deserve to be right there next to Raymond Carver, a man whose power is such that when confronted with him, a woman of many incredible words can only say, "Oh, Ray..."?
Reviewing books is the same way. How do you talk about something really beautiful without tarnishing a little bit about what makes it so gorgeous?
Stay Here With Me is gorgeous, and it's unforgiving in being so damn pretty.
It's a great read if you're the kind of person who rereads sentences. Like this one:
"I knew no one who spoke as she did, whose words were like touch."
See? What the hell am I supposed to do with that?
February 14, 2008
This was a WONDERFUL book. Thanks Sarah for sending it to me, I might otherwise not have read it. I absolutely loved his style of writing and now I can't wait to read everything else he has written.
For sure one of my favorite books.
For sure one of my favorite books.
September 17, 2025
This was a very random pull from a spontaneous bookstore trip and it made me soooo nostalgic for New Hampshire summer 🥲
“We did the shadow of things, lived in the small, poised moments like this, listened to a few innings on the radio. It was here where life could be paused over and held and wondered on.”
“We did the shadow of things, lived in the small, poised moments like this, listened to a few innings on the radio. It was here where life could be paused over and held and wondered on.”
December 25, 2025
I loved this book and would read it again.
I might even order that signed copy I've seen floating around.
Just beautiful. Everything about it.
I might even order that signed copy I've seen floating around.
Just beautiful. Everything about it.
January 15, 2026
Beautiful writing on a New Hampshire summer. Youth and love, difficult relationships, something for everyone.
November 27, 2019
My first encounter with Robert Olmstead's published work was Elements of the Writing Craft, which sometimes helps guide me in my dabbles with writing. He is an English teacher, an endearing quality for me. In 2010 I discovered his memoir, Stay Here with me. Nearly 10 years later, the book dwells in my spirit with such sweet sorrow. His gift to transport you into his vivid memory with such detail is mesmerizing the way he tells it. "...suddenly the whole universe was there to behold, all diesel fumes and noise and frozen blue mist, and the colors were black and white and green and blue, and each thing looked to not have color but to be color itself, to have color drilled into it." I hung on every word and my emotions arose and plunged as his stories plotted along the lines of his nostalgic past. I keep a hard copy in my private library and I've got a paperback on my guest browsing bookshelf. From time to time I'll pull it just to be reminded... he is one of my favorite.
January 14, 2025
The author recounts a summer working on his grandfather's dairy farm in New Hampshire. In this last summer before Olmstead heads to prep school, he contends with his father's alcoholism, his grandfather's illness and a romance with a local girl.
Beautifully rendered. The author wrote about the land, his family members and romance with equal authority and insight. I was particularly moved by Olmstead's recollections of time spent with his father, brother and grandfather. His compassion and love for his damaged father was poignant. Olmstead's grandfather was vividly portrayed. "He enjoyed his mind better than anyone I ever knew." My esteem for the author continued to grow after reading this.
Beautifully rendered. The author wrote about the land, his family members and romance with equal authority and insight. I was particularly moved by Olmstead's recollections of time spent with his father, brother and grandfather. His compassion and love for his damaged father was poignant. Olmstead's grandfather was vividly portrayed. "He enjoyed his mind better than anyone I ever knew." My esteem for the author continued to grow after reading this.
July 13, 2019
A seemingly fond and bitter remembrance of the author’s younger years with all the wonder and angst that accompanies a coming-of-age time in one’s life. Anyone familiar with the author’s work will discover the source of many themes in past works including having to live down legacies and trying to re-capture or reconcile the past. The writing is unapologetic and almost dispassionate in the way it captures the prejudices, misconceived notions, and rebellions of the past avoiding anachronisms and just baring his life for what it was for better or otherwise.
July 18, 2022
A memoir of a young man working a farm in the 70's in NH. It explores the decline of his autocratic grandfather and his father's alcoholism as he approaches the end of HS. He faces maturity with his relationship to his college girlfriend and two guy buddies whose lives are to be short.
January 28, 2010
(Slow start only because the descriptions of nature go over me as I don't have the vocabulary for horticulture and vegetation and all that—I wish I did). This book is beautiful and overwhelming in a good way, because it's so truthful. Olmstead captures his life at 18, his first love, his farm life, his friends, his family. The dichotomy of Olmstead is that he writes about a man's world with such preciseness and fine expression and feeling, yet does not lose any manliness in doing so.
September 11, 2007
I'm ashamed to admit how long I've had this book on my shelves without reading it. It's a really gorgeous Southern Gothic memoir that doesn't fall prey to sentimentality or Prince of Tides-style grandiosity. Just a gorgeous, heart-wrenching story about being tied to the land and tied to people who can't live without hurting themselves and each other.
February 28, 2009
One of my favorite books, ever (maybe because it's set in the rural New England of my childhood). I love the narrator's voice: it's a coming of age story told with bravura and sentimentality but also with honesty and a reverence for a way of life that's dying out.
June 23, 2010
A very easy, but touching read. Not 'light reading', but the author is very unpretentious while sensitive and articulate. Enjoyed it very much. Thanks, Lesley!!
August 17, 2010
A memoir. Very well done. His descriptive power is enviable. However, I found myself wanting to skip through parts (I didn't) but by the end I did not want it to end
September 10, 2016
Coming of age novel of young man working on a dairy farm in NH.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews