I Brake for Meltdowns

by O'Neal Barbara

Any parent of a toddler knows the you’re having a nice day with your child, then suddenly-meltdown! How to react? Or not react? I Brake for Meltdowns offers parents welcome an annotated listing of all the exasperating things little kids do and step-by-step advice on how to handle each situation. From “Public Meltdowns” to “In Search of Sleep” to “Dinner Disasters,” this book covers every bugaboo by category-including biting, teeth-brushing, refusal to wear a coat, and what to do when your youngster won’t hug Aunt Marge. Handy action points, suggested language, and “Been There” sidebars point the way to resolution. Infused with funny, often commiserating advice, this is an invaluable resource for parents who try their darnedest but need a cheat-sheet for when they’re stumped by their willful tots.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

340 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 30, 2008

Reviews

[Sharla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the better parenting books I've read for the toddler / preschool age. Instead of sticking to one strategy/style, the book presents tips, advice, and methods for discipline and behavior management that span the variety of popular theories. I love the straightforward style, and there are tons of specific situations, ways to handle (varying even for different ages -- taking into consideration a 2 yr old reacts and understands concepts very differently from a 4/5 yr old), and specific messages to deliver to kids to help them understand, cope, re-direct, etc. I dog-eared this book all over the place, and I'm sure I'll be going back to reference it repeatedly over the next couple of years.

The epilogue had some good summary notions, that really resonated with me:
"We build safe borders around these wild bundles of energy; gingerly tweak, redirect, remind, and, of course, love them. Then we wait and watch. As they grow, they surprise us in delightful ways. [...] It's no wonder we glimpse the edge of the cliff sometimes. Young children demand a lot. [...] We soldier on, and know (or hope) that the rewards of growth and self-discovery will sneak up and excite us. [...] Any conscientious parent will sometimes wonder, 'Am I doing the right thing? Should I give in, or should I hold the line?' It helps to be flexible enough to explore ways of improving a situation. But it's also critical to establish reasonable -- but not too restrictive -- boundaries that make sense for your child and your family, and firmly but calmly uphold them. And your positions will sometimes make your child unhappy for a little while. It is not our responsibility to protect our children from disappointment, but it is our job to help them deal with it. Over time - yet another surprise - our children will learn to handle small setbacks with resilience and creativity."

Highly recommended for any parents with the 2-5 age range!

[Laura Hungerford · Rating 2 out of 5]

Picked this one up by chance from the library and didn't love it. The author gives lots of suggestions to quell frustrating behaviors (try A, B, and C) but devotes just a little bit of time to explaining the bigger picture. She also cites a lot of negative personal parenting experiences which made me less likely to want to implement her ideas. Appreciated the different topics, but disappointed with the lack of depth.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Considering that I just stumbled upon this book at the library, I was quite impressed with the author's common-sense approach to parenting. After reading Alfie Kohn's book, which has given me a serious insecurity complex about my ability to be a good parent, this book was a refreshing read. The author doesn't promote any catchy one-step approach to parenting, but instead gives suggestions on how to approach common parenting challenges. It's geared towards parents of toddlers but a lot of the info applies to older kids as well. And throughout the book are reminders that no one can be a perfect parent all the time. I need this forgiving type of approach!

[Stacy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yeah, huh. Well, I have a 2 year old who until just a few months ago was positively sugar coated... now he is 2. So I am looking for whatever insight that I can find to give me a little coaching. This book was not it. The answer to every problem a parent can face with a child is to clearly explain the rules, keep a calm demeanor and don't give in to whining.
Um, duh. Give me something more substantial.

[Elena · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just couldn't get into this so I returned it to the library after reading a chapter or two. Decided I probably have enough patience, creativity and understanding of my two littlet ones needs to make it without this book. Somehow living the stresses of 3-year old tantrums REALLY does NOT make me want to read about them in my already limited free-time. Better for me to read something not-child related that takes me AWAY from stresses. . . .

[Lydia]

This is a great reference book full of PRACTICAL advice for dealing with behavior issues. She gives options of different things to try before getting to the last resort. While she doesn't address every issue we face (like when your toddler doesn't nap AT ALL), there a lots of suggestions for situations we face every day.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great for when your brain is on shut down mode and you need answers and ideas...quick!

***Note added later***
The longer I parent the more I like this book. She skips a lot of the lengthy drawn-out philosophy and addresses things quickly, succinctly, by topic. I can tell if I'm on track, and if not she provides an easy idea.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am really thinking of buying this book because the advice is very practical! I haven't read too many books on this subject yet however I have seen many kids behave the way they describe in this book so it doesn't seem like the authors presented unrealistic situations and how they should be dealt with.

[Mckaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

I borrowed this book from the library, but it would be a good reference book for parenting. I like that it addresses everyday challenges with ideas for solving them. It also has several "If that doesn't work try . . ." for each problem. Great ideas!

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! Each section had several parts to it so I was able to go straight to the issues I was having and did not have to read everything. It had great advice that I am excited to incorporate.

[April Luxner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do not, as a rule, read parenting books (or pretty much anything that is not fiction). But lately I feel like I might need a little help with my almost-three-year-old. I really liked this book and it had a lot of practical tips that I will use.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, full of example phrases, different approaches for different ages. Genius. Had an impact in our house within a day. 2 kids, one parent, school holidays, no raised voices? Thanks, Barbara and Mchelle!

[Laurie]

My child is generally well behaved, but it is always interesting to find out which things are typical for her age and not just her own quirks.

[Chelsea · Rating 4 out of 5]

great to see that I was not the only one with some of these problems (Kadin not liking his daddy . . . hitting us . . . etc.)

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty good, common sense advice.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good thorough book that covers many topics. Will try to get a permanent copy on my shelves as the one I have is from the library.

[Elaina Hogan]

Apparently I'm doing almost everything right.

[Taryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wasn't that in to this book. Her parenting style definitely does not reflect my own, so it wasn't very helpful.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had some great ideas. I found most of her explanations pretty wordy. I’m sure Abby would lose interest in the concept before I got each speech across.

[Gail · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nice table of contents so you can flip to what you want, but not the book I need right now.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book full of suggestions for all those frustrating behaviors of our toddlers and preschoolers.

[Lori Mason · Rating 4 out of 5]

I work with a lot of parents. This book has a lot of practical tips and suggestions.

[Alexandra Chauran · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm sure like the rest of us I was hoping for some sort of magical insight, but there's nothing new in this book. I guess I read too much.

[molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

insightful! and realistic!

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

i will buy this book.