Dear Sound of Footstep: Essays

by Ashley Butler

In her daring essay collection Dear Sound of Footstep , author Ashley Butler engages the reader in an exploration of her mother's death and an estranged paternal relationship. As illusions of a celestial umbrella slowly disappear, she begins a search for answers within the infinite. The candid narrative evolves into a stunning, abstract deconstruction of time and space, piloting the reader precariously close to the unanswered question, "Why are we here?" Among the subjects she touches the fastest man on earth, wind farms and tunnels, and the anechoic (without echo) chamber at Harvard University. We hear about some of history's oddest seekers of spiritual and scientific Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, the father of cosmonautics; Yves Klein, the "artist of space"; Russian futurist Nikolai Federov; and Harry Houdini, hanging headfirst over a crowd in Times Square. The essays are a blend of conventional narrative, aphorism (“The aphorism is a form of eternity,” said Nietzsche), lyrical imagery, and language, with insights like, "A voice begins with the thought that must be set apart from a body." Butler's collection has a true magic of its own, at times both brutal and gorgeous, but always coming back to an empathy of spirit and intelligence far beyond Butler's years. Ashley Butler was born and raised in Virginia. She has a BA from Columbia University and an MFA from the University of Iowa. Her work has appeared in Ninth Letter , jubilat , Gulf Coast , Creative Nonfiction , and POOL . She lives in Texas.

Genres: Nonfiction

128 pages, Paperback

First published September 11, 2009

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I have yet to finish reading this book. Also, this review contains many spoilers.

I adore this book, truly. It is incredibly gripping, extraordinarily complex and extremely addictive. I find myself hating this book - I feel confused, perplexed, upset and somewhat baffled by everything in this text- yet, I cannot for the life of me bring myself to leave it alone. I wade through Butler's muck, struggling as I go but the experience is not unpleasant.

When I read the first couple of essays, they really hit home. Breast cancer has touched my family and the matter, to me, is extremely personal. Butler goes into depth describing the decay of her mother, both mentally and physically, and it reminds me of my own experience with the matter. However, as I stated before, this does not avert me from the text. The way that Ashley Butler throws herself into the book is so intimate, it creates a sense of discomfort. But, I love it.

I also love her use of motifs and themes; the two that I most focus on are the concept of flight and space and her intense and inescapable attention to death. It appears everywhere, and when thinking about how the two themes overlap, the soul comes to mind. This, in turn, leads to a plethora of questions: do we have souls? Where do we go after we die? Is there an afterlife at all? And Butler states her view on these outright in her essay "Crime Scene". However, these are her views from when she was twelve and, frequently, these views change. Her sister also seems to firmly establish her views on the matter, and those seem to be consistent throughout the book. Not only that, but Butler and her sister seem to have polar opposite views on the matter. This could be a theme in and of itself. Or, possibly a subtheme. I will have to finish the book to know for sure though.

Another interesting thing that came to my mind as I was reading this is that Butler seems to lose coherency as we read further into the text. In the beginning, he stories were relatively straight forward, but as the book progresses, I begin to lose a grasp on what Butler is saying regardless of the number of times I reread the text, be it a sentence, essay or section of essays. But, the final essay that I read for the text could serve as an explanation for why this is the case. I felt as if Butler was going insane the more I read and, when I read the essay detailing her mother's descent into madness, I felt as if by writing what she did, Butler was preparing us for said madness - as if the text going insane is a direct reflection of her mother's insanity. At one point, Butler has a complete disregard for formatting, and at another, she entirely neglects the rules of grammar. Then suddenly, they're back. I, again, will have to finish the text to see if this is true, but as it stands, I think this is the case.

Overall, I feel as if this book is a phenomenal book. It just has to be seen in the proper light. It is not a book for the tenderhearted, nor is it one for those who are not prepared to tough it through a text. But, the gems in this text make it truly worth it for me.

[Rebekah Tadych · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I am in the middle of reading Dear Sound of Footstep. However, what I have read so has been an interesting diary-like entry about trying to understand her mothers death by disease. Some say that Butlers book is a collection of essays because the story of her past (usually memories with her mother or family) is broken with short chapters on flight, space, or random facts. With a second glance you notice that the facts glaze over - and it becomes part of the search for something more - a purpose in life. So in all I am appreciating Ashley Butler's book and her brutally honest introspective in the wake of tragedy and explanation for some of life's deepest questions.

In Ashely Butlers book of essay's, Dear Sound of Footstep, you find your self on adventure. The adventure is to find yourself amidst tragedy, amidst the loss of a loved one. The subject of death by cancer has been well written upon but Butler finds a way to bring the emotions of loss and searching to a new light. She does this by splitting up detailed chapters of her mother's sickness with chapters of her personal exploration (of space, flight, the horizon). Both melt together as the reader realizes that her exploration of the things known is Butler's way of figuring out the unknown.

Dear Sound of Footstep is a good read for any lazy rainy day. Be ready to struggle for answers, witness graphic scenes, explore and research, and commemorate lost loved ones right alongside Ashely Butler.

[Brandi Jurek]

This book grabbed my attention at the beginning. I was really excited because there was real life events and emotion. I was thrown off for a few chapters and then she kind of got back into her family and such. This event Butler is experiencing is one that would definitely be hard to put into words which is maybe why she seems to be almost just throwing things out there. I feel like the more random things she talks about helps her to draw away from the question of the reading that is 'what are your emotions?' or 'how are you dealing with this?'because she doesn't address her emotion much at all. And of all the things to happen to someone at a young age this is a very emotional event. Even after her mother's death she fends off her sister's concern and questions about her mother. She is blunt and almost bitter. She has not dealt with the situation or the feeling. Some of the random thoughts are pulling together for me. I get the space thing after reading about her discussion with her mother about life after death. This book is like a therapy session almost and you get little incites to emotion without her actually saying it. But the way her mother fits into random conversations or just comments shows she is there in everyday life. The real issues with the way Butler is dealing with the loss have yet to be addressed.

[Mike Vogler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Right now I am 3/4 of the way through Dear Sound of Footstep. This book is a collection of essay's in which the author, Ashley Butler, explores the death of her mother from cancer, as well as the relationship between herself and her father. Butler presents a wide variety of stories and topics, she seems to be fascinated by the idea of space exploration and attempts to relate the emptiness of space with her emotions. At some points in the narrative I felt an incredible feeling of depression brought on by the death of the author's mother. Butler successfully illustrates and conveys the emotions that go along with losing a parent, which at times can be heart wrenching. At the same time the author demonstrates some fantastic lyricism, most notably in the chapter entitled "Reality is Recognizing Resemblances in Those Things Without Us." This chapter contains short paragraphs of poetic writing. At times it seems that Butler may be using a technique known as stream of consciousness writing to express herself. For example "...A shot of the hairiest man in China bidding to relay the torch a man claiming to be the sailor kissing the women at the end of the war a man has just left a mine collapsed on six workers, what must one Think? Says the voice over for a sleep aid to know one in particular." (p. 69) Fans who favor a linear story may find the writing hard to follow.

[Wesley Bos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disclaimer, I am only half way through this book. As of now I am having mixed feelings about the book. In one hand I find its personal nature very appealing when I read, compared to John D'Agata's About a Mountain where I find myself reading more information than feeling. Here, Butler's most inner emotions are in full text in front of you and she has no bounds in what she will share, whether it be her mother and fathers relationship or sickness, or the loneliness she may experience. On the other hand, I am finding myself confused, always lost in trying to relate topics and subjects that may or may not have common ground. Some of the essays short length cause me to forget when I read when I have to read another much longer one. One thing I did find interesting was Butler's mentioning of birds dying in Texas, a phenomena that occurred probably two or three years ago. I was living in the same city when that happened, and I remember this strange occurrence, local news and theory was that it was a bolt of lightning that struck them all together, but in her book she does not mention any of the theories. So overall I give this book a thumbs up.

[Kelsey]

I am currently in the middle of reading the book and so far I don't like it very much. Butler's style is to jumpy and confusing and it doesn't catch my attention. I don't care enough for the style and topic to take as much time as I need to make sense of some of her paragraphs. I think she has too many different topics and themes in such a short book that it is jumbled and confusing.

Even though it is a very personal topic, the book doesn't seem personal to me. It seems like she is just listing off random events not caring how they come across. She pulls herself out of the story. It creates the illusion of losing herself, which I think is the point, but it makes it difficult to get into the story. I feel like I'm not involved but just watching the events occur from a distance, not really caring. I don't find it grabbing my attention.

I do like the essays added that are about space and flight. I find the information more interesting than the story she has included. She grabs my attention with the interesting facts and quotes from different scholars. I think these parts are the only thing that make me able to keep reading the book.

[Kellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm about two thirds of the way done with Dead Sound of Footstep, I'm not really sure what to think. On one hand, I like how Butler is candid about the death of her mother and distant relations with her unloyal father. But, the way she describes things, perhaps poetically, can be extremely detailed yet so vague, many times I feel the point is avoided. The book is comprimised of very short essays, sometimes not more than a paragraph long. You can tell she writes as she thinks, going off on little tangents of barely related ideas, forgetting to come back to the question at hand. Though, a grieving woman isn't expected to always have her head on straight. Butler has reoccuring themes, many of hardship, her parents, loss, pain, distance, flying, falling. It's an interesting read to say the least. I don't know how it's going to conclude because I'm still struggling to figure out what story line to follow, but I feel I'll be left with a lot of questions because I'm failing to make connections as the book progesses. I'll make sure to update this as I finish the book, as you'll all be dying to know my opinions ;)

[Craig · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though "Dear Sound of Footstep" is not typically the type of book I would read if not assigned to me, I find myself more and more intrigued by the "lyric essay". I normally would not take as much time to stop and really think about what point or theme the author is trying to get across, but in this style of writing you are almost forced to. If you want to understand the connections Butler is trying to convey, you have to pay attention. It's easy to get lost in the broken timelines and generous amount of detail. I reread many of the essays three or four times just to try and get a sense of what Butler must have been feeling at the time of writing these essays, and just what she was connecting her own emotion with in the universe, the emptiness of space, the ultimate curtain-lifting off of this reality into the next. She connects such broad, expansive themes such as these with something so small as a single human emotion. I have enjoyed reading some of the essays and could do without some of the others, I'm about halfway done with the book and so far I'd say three out of five stars.

[Cory Acker]

I am currently reading this book by Ashley Butler and I find it to be confusing for the most part. I don't understand where the author gets the idea of the different essays she writes about in each chapter. I believe some of the essays she writes do relate in some way as she always relates to her family and talks about space ships, airplanes, and other similar structures that have to do with going up into the air. I do not understand why she talks about the different ways that we could go into space and to the moon. Some of the chapters I have read as in the one titled "Reality is Recognizing Resemblances in Those Things Without Us" I cannot grasp the concept of that chapter and do not understand why the words are just in the middle of the page. The chapters in which Butler talks about her mother and the hard times her mother is going through, I believe is easier to understand than when she talks about the airplanes and going into space. So far this book is confusing to me and I don't know where the author is going with it.

[Anwebb · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dear Sound of Footstep by Ashley Butler is the most unique book I have read to date. So unique that I honestly find it hard to say much about it. Butler's collection of essays are what they are; some about her mother, some about her father, and many about "being up in the air". Her style of writing is very introverted, in that you often feel as if you were trapped inside of her head. While this can get confusing, it isn't unpleasant to keep reading!

I can certainly see how other reviews connect a growing disconnect with the narrator with the progression of the book. Looking back at what I've read, I can definitely see how the coherency of the essays in the beginning is a stark contrast to how 'artistically' broken down they seem to become further on in the book. In a way, I interpret this as a sign of Butler's continued immersion in her own thoughts, which are equally incoherent as the essays she's begun to present too us.

Perhaps Butler's mind will settle down, or find the answers she's looking for, and the book will become more logical again?

[Kara Jacoboni]

I am currently reading this book but so far I am not the biggest fan. Her style of lyric essay is not that of John D'Gata's and I don't enjoy it much. I feel bored during most of this book although I can see how others were be interested. The topic is not one that I'm usually a fan of which is why the book doesn't appeal to me much. I do enjoy the fact that she has so many different themes and motifs though. I like her themes of flying and death because they are the most obvious, but there are others, such as confusion- of the mind, her life, the world- that pop up at random times that seem like they should be focused on more or not be part of the book at all. I'm biased because I'm not a huge fan of the book but I feel that her jumpiness between subject is causing the book to get boring and causes my mind to wonder in different directions. As of right now this book isn't holding my attention but I won't know my complete feelings about it until i'm done with the entire book.

[Christopher Roberts]

My view of this book thus far as been a love/hate themed relationship with me truly enjoying fragments here and there and connecting with Butler, followed by long pauses where (and I absolutely hate it when this happens) I find myself reading the words but nothing is registering. I’m reading the book, but her writing style has caused me to go in a zombie like state and I remember nothing of what I just read, causing me to re-read over and over again. It could be my aversion to poetry and her very obvious poetic style – much more “lyrical” in the literal sense than D’Agata, whom I thoroughly enjoyed reading. It truly saddens me when I come across a book I want to like, but the attraction just isn’t there. I also am having trouble finding a correlation between some of the things she mixes in, like all the talk about space, etc. Of course, this is probably in direct relation to my misunderstanding of what I’m reading.

[Amanda M · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Disclaimer, I have not yet completed this book*

I've read many different styles of books in the past, but I have to honestly admit that I don't believe that I will be a fan of this book. I tend to not judge a book before I'm completely finished with but in this case the odds are not good. Ashley Butler, while more open about her life and her relationship with her father and her mothers death, doesn't catch my attention the way that a author should.

With an interview the publisher has posted on her website, Butler says that she doesn't even know what an essay is. For not knowing, she seems to be on the right track in the essay writing genre. Her language style is unique. She blends not only the lyrical essay, but also lyrical imagery and language with aphorisms (small observations containing general truth). I find this enticing. While I may not be enjoying the content of this book, the way that it is written is a positive for me.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I started reading the book I became mysteriously intruiged and drawn into it. Butler has a similar lyrical style that D'Agata takes on in "About a Mountain", yet Butler's is so much more personal. There are times when I am reading this that she is so descriptive that I feel I am in her head. The essay "Les Nuages" left me with tears streaming down my face and took me back into the memories of when my Grandmother died. Some people may think that her essay's are choppy,that she is disconnected, that none of them flow together and are therefore confusing. I however, have noticed a connection between every single one. Whether it is an emotion, a word, a thought-somehow they have all been connected and I think it is brilliant. She almost seems to be slowly going through the grieving process through each essay. The book is beautiful and melancholy. I recommend it to those who are looking for something out of the normal writing style, who want a little bit of a challenge.

[Rachael · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dear Sound of Footstep is about Butcher and her mother who had breast cancer. There are some parts of this book that are very sad about her mother being in the hospital all of the time and how they had to pick her wigs out. There are also a lot of parts that are difficult to understand why she is talking about them at all, like airplanes and wind energy. This book, mostly, is confusing and difficult to follow. I think that she is not as good of a writer as her mentor, d'agata, and when she tries to use listing techniques and how she forms her lyric essay, it is not as good as d'agata was in 'About a Mountain'. I gave this a 2/5 stars because I don't really like it at all, and I don't like most of the descriptions that she gives through out but I really like it when she talks about her mother and discovering the nurses notes and things in that nature. You can really feel where she is coming from and evokes emotion in so many ways.

[Luke Huotari]

I am half way throught this book and still have mixed feelings about it. I enjoy reading her story about her family, I think many of us can relate the the feeling of loss in one way or the other. I feel for the author because in a way, she lost both of her parents.

She talks alot bout "relationships", relationships between people and between objects/ideas. Rleationships between herself, her mother, father and sister are frequently discussed in her essays as are the numerous relationships that exist in time and space. I now see how all the essays are connected in this context of "relationships" but I do not enjoy reading these essays all together in one book. The book seems to jump around too much and the "factual" essays lose me sometimes.

I am hoping that by the end of this book that the connections between the essays become more clear to me.

[Christina Brown-hanson]

I'm still reading this book, though I am almost finished. I really enjoy Ashley Butler's writing, although at times, I feel out of my element. There's so much going on in these essays that I find myself reading into each line too much...or maybe too little. Either way, there are so many deeper questions she is trying to answer in her essays, and I'm looking forward to finishing the book to see what other connections I can make. I feel that she is slowly displaying some sort of madness, or just displaying some sort of personal travel through the space in her mind. I'm not sure which idea I think more. There are things that are written in some of her essays that are puzzling to me, but maybe that's what she wants. Maybe that's what she sees in life. I'm not sure, I will update after I finish the book.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Dear Sound of Footstep, Ashley Butler’s collection of essays are very eclectic. However, the most notable themes seem to be death, space, and loneliness. These themes are most exemplified as she writes about the death of her Mother and distant relationship with her Father. Although the author appears to freely jump from topic to topic, there is a strong connection between these themes which reveals a deeper meaning behind the seemingly “noisy” or unrelated information Butler includes in her essays. Ashley Butler accomplishes writing lyrically and poetically, making it difficult for those who are not well aquainted with such a style. Each essay has left me with unanswered questions, but I believe that the author is searching for answers herself. As a reader, it makes it easy to empathize with her experiences and her search for understanding.

[Samantha Turnquist]

I am currently reading this book by Ashley Butler and I can't really say that I like it. Her lyrical style of writing first off makes me very confused and I don't like it. Then on top of that they are short stories, and normal I don't mind short stories but combined with the lyrical style of writing it makes me go so far as to say I hate it! I know its harsh, but I can't follow what is going on half the time, then combined with the jumping around I am so confused and lost the whole time so I totally miss the point of the story, or even what was going on. Then also they are supposed to be connected some how, but I can't figure out how they are. To be completely honest the only story I was able to get into and actually love it was "Bridge." I thought it was great now if only she could write all of them like that I would love the book!!

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am having a really difficult time getting into this book. I was hopeful that once I read more that I would be swept up in Butler's clever ways to portray her ways to deal with many personal conflicts, but no such luck. I do appreciate the style of writing, but her mission is a little too complex, and at times as the reader, I feel as though she is trying hard to grasp things that just don't really relate at all to her emotional struggles. I think she has way too many themes going on in the essays, that you almost forget what you are looking for. The only thing extremely obvious to the reader is how she manages to survive dealing with a parent with cancer and a distant father that is unsure how to love.
I may reassess the rating I gave her once I finish the book, but right now, the two stars was generous.

[Carolyn Birkmeier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dear Sound of Footstep by Ashley Butler first grabbed my attention because of her beautiful, lyrical writing, and emotional stories that drew me in and made me want to read on and on. Now that I am well into the book, I find myself taking each essay as I read it, and trying to relate it to everything else I have learned about her so far. It’s as if Butler is trying to make sense of everything that is going on, and I’m doing the same as I go along reading with her thoughts. I’m on a ride in her brain just listening to her thoughts and emotions pouring onto the page. Each story brings about a different emotion and each gets a little less straightforward. While the story jumps around, its not scattered. It keeps my interest without staying on one single topic for too long. Can’t wait to finish it.

[Patricia Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend recommended this book to me after a discussion we had about a book I'm trying to write about the deaths of my mother and father. The book was very helpful to me in that it does a lot of work I have not done yet, especially in approaching the topic through metaphor and image, and also looking out rather than in. While I am a big fan of the lyric essay and I do enjoy being challenged to make connections between disparate topics, there were several moments where a narrative arch was interrupted and I spent about 20 pages or so hoping we'd get back to it then 20 pages resenting that we didn't ever. But the poetic moments make up for that, for me, like, "An eye is not the shape of a mouth; a body, not the stage before pain." I have a lot of respect, too, for the way these essays engage the topic in a way that transcends reportage.

[Melissa Lajoie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm only about half-way through Dear Sound of Footstep, but I'm really enjoying it. Ashley Butler is very personal with the way she writes, letting us in on many parts of her life. She shares about her mom's cancer and death, and her father's infidelity throughout her parents' marriage. These are personal topics and I'm sure it takes a lot to show the world how imperfect your family is. I like her style of writing, I am attracted to this lyric essay much more than About a Mountain because it is much more interesting to me. I connect with it on a personal level, in the situation with her father and the relationship between her and her sister. I'm excited to keep reading and tie all of the loose ends together.

[Ericka Hawke · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm in the process of reading this book and I have to say it's one of the most interesting styles of writing I've ever read. At first I was confused at to what her main focus was, but I'm starting to get a better understanding that it's about the death of her mother, and the lost connection she has with her father. There's always something interpreting space; wether it's NASA trying to launch a missile, to the distance she has with her father, to the death of her mother. Every essay is about a different time, place, and setting, but it all seems to have a connection with one another which makes it interesting for me and surprised that I'm actually able to follow along with the book. I'm excited to finish it.

[Vianca]

I am not finished with the book yet but so far I have to say that I like it. It is completely not the normal style of writing that I enjoy and the fact that it jumps around so much is hard to get used to. I really enjoy how deep Butler can get in some of her essays, I find it very interesting reading about her life with her family and the relationship she has or does not have with her father. She has a way of making me feel the way that she is feeling toward her father. Some of essays which give random information about certain things have become easier to understand but it really does not grab my attention. I usually have to read the essays that jump around a lot a few times but then I understand what she is saying better.

[Andrew]

Butler is a student of D'Agata's and the similarities are prevalent thus far in the book. She jumps around a lot however I feel like things will be intertwined at some point. I am in the middle of reading the book and thus far not sure where it is going, however the way she describes things seems to draw you in as a reader, instead of being turned off by the randomness in such stories like Sea Vixen Heart Gloster Javelin. Stingray Point is a prime example of her great descriptions just as Les Nuages is a great example of Butler sharing a very personal, intimate, and sad experience. I would recommend this book to some people I know based on the topics of the book and the way in which it is written.

[Derek Robinson]

I'm almost done with Ashley Butler's book Dear Sounds of Footsteps and I have to honestly say that I don't like it. I find it hard to navigate and see how the essays all connect together. She jumps totally off subject all the time making it hard to even realize what she is trying to get at. I don't think she stick to one subject for more than a paragraph and I don't know about other readers but for me it totally throws me off and confuses me. I also think that it isn't a very well written book because her grammar get pretty messed up through the book and I catch myself reading a sentence and having to read it over again because it didn't make sense. So overall so far I would have to say that i really don't care for this book but that's just me.

[Lauren · Rating 1 out of 5]

At the end of the book, I really didn't understand the point of it. Until I saw that someone else who had read it found more interest in the book since she could connect to it with the coping of her own loved ones. I have never personally lost someone close to me, not anything like Butler has, so I find it really hard to connect with this book, as well as find it hard to find any connections within the book. It jumps around so much from story to story, and as soon as I get interested in one story, she jumps over to another topic, and it's just obnoxious. At the end of the book, I was just glad I finished it, and I wouldn't have read this book unless I was assigned. It's not a book for everyone.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am only half way through this book and I feel it’s a wonderful release of emotion that Ashley butler is allowing us to feel for ourselves. Also With the imagery and the history of things happening. The facts she feels lead to emotion I feel are right on, she does not even give us time to adjust to some of her information and emotion we get from it; giving us this sense of the pains, rush, relief or so on as she felt. So far I am liking this book. Some if not most of this is a little on the downhill emotion wise but I think a book that can pull your emotion one way or the other is a good book in “my book”.

[Amber · Rating 1 out of 5]

Butler uses the lyrical approach when writing her essays. So far, the book is hard to follow. I can piece together certain themes such as her mother's death, space, skies, flying, and childhood memories. It is far less factual and informative compared to John D'Agata's style of writing. She focuses more on details with emotion and personal experiences and then randomly tries to throw in a few research points. It makes the connections between the essays hard to decipher, if there even are any. Her strong point is relaying her life experiences, so the book would be a lot easier to read if she stuck with that.